The Audience (4 page)

Churchill
He knew what he was getting into.

Elizabeth
He fell in love with me before he knew what he was getting into.

Churchill
He was a citizen of no country. With no home of his own. England has given him both.
He
is fortunate, as are you. The duty which has befallen you both is the greatest honour on earth.

Elizabeth
I might struggle, on occasion, with that honour.

Churchill
Just never show that, Ma’am. It’s not what your subjects want from you.

Elizabeth
And is that
so
important? What my subjects want from me?

Churchill
Yes. Even if we have no idea what that is.

Churchill looks at his watch.

Now we have overrun. Until next Tuesday.

He gets to his feet, bows deeply, and goes.

The Queen is left alone. Suddenly feeling the full weight and burden of her destiny. Shaken by the conversation.
  
A Dresser comes on, and starts dressing the Queen, changing her outfit. Presently, a voice.

Young Elizabeth
I don’t like this place.

A little eleven-year-old-girl walks on stage.

Elizabeth
I know you don’t.

The Young Elizabeth joins the Queen as she is being dressed by the window.

Young Elizabeth
It’s like being trapped in a museum. The rooms are cold. The corridors are dark. At night the wind moans in the chimneys. Like a thousand ghosts. (
A beat
.) I miss our old home.

Elizabeth
I know you do.

Young Elizabeth
We had neighbours then. This place has no neighbours. Just lots of people scurrying about doing funny jobs. (
Thinks
.) Like the Mistress of the Robes. The Yeoman of the Cellars.

Elizabeth
The Keeper of the Privy Purse.

Young Elizabeth
The Fendersmith. The Vermin-Catcher!

Elizabeth
Ah, but you like him.

Young Elizabeth
It’s true. At least he smiles. Probably because there are so many mice for him to kill.

Elizabeth
And you like the lake in the garden?

Young Elizabeth
I do.

Elizabeth
And the summer house?

Young Elizabeth
I do.

Elizabeth
And the roly-down hill at the end?

Young Elizabeth
Yes, from which you can see the tops of the automobiles tearing down Buckingham Palace Road.

A silence.

I also like this particular window. It has the best aspect.

Elizabeth
(
to herself
) There’s a word I’d forgotten.

Young Elizabeth
Look …

Elizabeth
I’m looking.

Young Elizabeth
The people outside all seem so busy. I can’t help wondering what they are doing, where they’re going, what they’re all thinking of.

They stare for a while, then Young Elizabeth sees something, and pushes her older self away.

Careful! Get back!

Elizabeth
What?

Young Elizabeth
One of them was looking up.

Young Elizabeth leans round the corner.

I don’t want them to see me.

Elizabeth
Why not? Everyone knows you live here. They’ve seen you on the balcony. With Mummy and Papa.

Young Elizabeth
But that’s me as … the other person. This is me as … me.

The Dresser finishes her work, then exits. The Queen has become an older woman.

Behind them, the door opens, and an Equerry appears.

Equerry
The Prime Minister, Ma’am.

The Queen lets the curtain drop, turns, and walks back into to find the silhouette of a squat man in his late forties in the doorway.
  
It’s Harold Wilson. He wears a Polaroid camera around his neck.

Wilson
I suppose I should kick things off with an apology.

Elizabeth
Whatever for?

Wilson
Winning.

It’s 20 October 1964. Labour has just won the General Election – by four seats.

I’m aware of your affection for my predecessor. Doubtless you would have preferred him to continue in office, but the country said otherwise.

Elizabeth
It is my duty
not
to have preferences.

Wilson
We all do, though, don’t we? We can’t help it. It’s human nature. And I can see the attraction of someone like ‘Posh Alec’.

Elizabeth
The Earl of Home.

Wilson
Someone you can chat with about the racing. Someone well bred. High born. Who knows how to hold his cutlery. As opposed to a ruffian like me.

Elizabeth
Hardly.

Wilson
Still, I know a look when I see one, and when I came to the Palace to clock on – with Mary and the boys – don’t think I didn’t notice the looks on your courtiers’ faces.

Elizabeth
Did you see a look on
my
face?

Wilson
No …

Elizabeth
Well, then. It’s just the wives and children are not generally invited to the kissing of hands.

Wilson
Why? Did they get in the way?

Elizabeth
No.

Wilson
Did they make a mess? Or an unwelcome noise?

Elizabeth
Of course not.

Wilson
Well what’s the problem, then? (
Indicates, turning through a circle
.) It’s not like there was a lack of space.

Elizabeth
The kissing of hands is a sober ritual, full of meaning and symbolism – where the Prime Minister takes the official oath, receives seals of office, and kisses hands in a symbol of fealty and loyalty, before being asked to form a government in his Sovereign’s name …

Wilson
It’s also a jolly good day out if you happen to come from Huddersfield and your idea of a posh building is the public library.

Elizabeth
I’m just saying it’s not the custom.

Wilson
‘Not done’. ‘Not acceptable’. Don’t bring your children.’ ‘Don’t bring your wife.’ ‘
Do
wear top hat and tails.’ (
A beat
.) I don’t even
own
a top hat and tails.

Elizabeth
Whatever did you get married in?

Wilson
A church.

Wilson stops, apologises.

Forgive my impertinence, Ma’am. I’m a simple man, intimidated by my surroundings.

Wilson hesitates.

My nerves are also an indication of the hopelessness of the situation.

Elizabeth
Which situation?

Wilson
The one I find myself in. Four seats! Whatever am I to do with a majority like that?

Elizabeth
The danger of winning a protest vote is – you tend to inherit the mess which people have protested against.

Wilson
And what a mess those Conservatives left us. What a diseased and poisoned appendix of a small and unrepresentative section of society. And what havoc they wreaked. Soaring land and house prices. Race riots. Sex scandals. Large-scale unemployment. Rejection from the EEC and an annual trade deficit of £800 million.

Elizabeth
Yes, it’s an unenviable legacy. What will you do about the balance of payments? Will you devalue?

Wilson
No, Ma’am. A Labour Government devalued the pound once before with little success and my party cannot risk being seen as the ‘party of devaluation’. (
A beat.
) It is also a matter of national pride. This is still a great country, and the pound is a powerful symbol.

Elizabeth
Never underestimate the value of a symbol.

Wilson
Especially one with one’s face printed on it. (
A beat
.) Can’t be an easy one to get used to.

Elizabeth
What’s that?

Wilson
Having one’s face on every coin and banknote.

Elizabeth
No. I remember seeing my father’s face on a shilling for the first time. And thinking how odd it looked. At the same time realising I would probably one day have to look at my own face. (
Quiet
.) But one never knows what destiny has in store for one. Did you ever imagine you’d be Prime Minister?

Wilson
Goodness, no. There’s a photograph of me taken outside Downing Street aged eight which some people interpreted as such. There was never a ‘scheme’ or ‘plan’. No, half the children in Milnsbridge – where I grew up – never had any boots or shoes to their feet. They wore clogs, because clogs lasted longer. As children we never had ambitions or dreams beyond survival! I almost died of typhoid aged six. And now I’m here drinking tea with the Queen of England.

Elizabeth
(
corrects
) United Kingdom …

Wilson
As Leader of her Government.

Elizabeth
Mrs Wilson must be very proud.

Wilson
Oh, no. She’s furious. She’d have been happiest staying at Oxford. As a young don’s wife. She loved our life there. Doesn’t care for the limelight. Or the cut and thrust of Westminster life. Certainly doesn’t care for our new home.

Elizabeth
Downing Street?

Wilson
‘Living in the office’, she calls it.

Elizabeth
My husband feels the same way about this place.
Loathes
it. (
A beat
.) We
all
do, actually.

Wilson
No!

Elizabeth
Yes.

Wilson
No!

Elizabeth
Yes!

Wilson
Goodness! Who else knows that?

Elizabeth
No one. (
A meaningful look
.) And I hope no one ever will.

Wilson
Actually, she’s happiest in the Scilly Isles.

Elizabeth
Oh. What do you have there?

Wilson
A prefabricated bungalow. Three beds.

Elizabeth
How lovely. And what do you like to do there?

Wilson
Gardening. Walks. Taking boats to the other islands.

Elizabeth
I love it on the water – away from it all. You know, it’s the one place I can kick off my shoes, and walk barefoot.

Wilson
On the water?

Elizabeth
On the
Britannia
.

The Queen looks at her watch.

Well, if there’s nothing else, I think we have done enough for today.