The Aristocrat's Lady (Love Inspired Historical) (11 page)

Nicole was completely distracted during the second act, unable to concentrate any longer on the beautiful music around her. Suddenly Lord Devlin’s voice sounded in her ear as he leaned forward and asked if she and her mother would like to avoid the mass exodus and leave before the farce.

Nicole acquiesced immediately, but General Overton and the Hamptons offered to escort her mother home.
Nicole would now be in just such a situation as she was trying to avoid. She did not wish…she could not ride home with him alone. She must have time to think.

Lord Devlin draped Nicole’s wrap over her shoulder while she profusely apologized for causing so much trouble. Had she known her mother had wanted to stay, she would have waited.

He whispered that she should stop worrying; he, too, would appreciate the early departure.

Oh, Nicole thought, this was dreadful! During the length of the entire second act she had wondered how she would spend the rest of their time in London avoiding this charismatic man. She could never have him fall in love with her…even if she realized she was on the way to falling in love with him.

As they walked to his carriage, she sought to change his flirtatious mood. “I do not suppose this early departure has anything to do with the discouragement this might cause Lady Robinson, my lord?”

She could hear the frustration in his voice when he replied testily, “Nicole, I cannot fathom why you keep trying to turn simple compliments into other than what they are. Let me assure you that Lady Robinson plays no part in any of my thoughts or actions.”

Nicole closed her eyes for one second. She had only made the situation worse, as he was now trying to convince her that she alone was his reason for wishing to leave. She quickly invented one more excuse and called to Toby as he began to climb up on the box. “Toby, that cold may get worse if you ride up there at this hour. We
would not mind if you rode inside with us. Mama is not coming until later, so you will not crowd us.”

Imitating someone with a cold, he sniffled out, “Not to worry, Lady Nick. You know I’m a tough one. I’ll be fine up ’ere with John Coachman.”

Lord Devlin helped Nicole into the carriage then climbed in and sat on the seat opposite her. She kept her face turned toward the window as the coach began to move. The silence was deafening. She jumped when he asked her, “Did you not enjoy the opera?”

“Oh, my lord, how remiss I have been! The music and the play were the most wonderful I have ever heard. I thank you heartily for escorting us tonight.”

“I see,” he said, sounding wounded. “You enjoyed it so much that you are now back to ‘my lording’ me at every turn. Have I done something to offend you, Nicole?”

“My lord, I mean, Devlin, what would make you think such a thing? Of course you have not offended me. I fear I am a little tired and do not have much by way of conversation tonight. It is I who should be apologizing to you.”

Devlin relaxed a bit in the candlelit carriage. Nicole, however, was very close to tears and wished she were alone with her thoughts.

“I am happy to hear I have not offended you. I am also happy to hear your apology, though I do not think you know how
you
offended
me.
May I be so bold as to admit that you did offend me earlier this evening?”

He reached across for her hand. “Do not worry, sweetheart, it was not such a grievous offense, just one
I felt I had to point out. It seems to me that either you do not take compliments well, or you truly do not believe someone sincere when they give them to you. Of course it may be that you only doubt
my
compliments, since your comments seem to indicate you think me flirting with you.”

This was getting worse, Nicole agonized. All she wanted was to avoid him, and they were sitting in a carriage alone discussing compliments and flirting! She gently pulled her hand free and placed it in her lap. “I am afraid I do not know to what you are referring, my lord.”

“I think,
my lady,
that you do. You accused me of flirting with you in the foyer of your home when I gave you a very sincere compliment.”

Nicole determined to turn this into banter rather than a full-blown discussion. She had never minded his flirting before, so she must pretend Beth’s words had never been uttered.

She smiled a little tensely. “Sir, you cannot blame me for suspecting your charm when we have already determined your reputation as a flirt is commonplace!” She had wished to sound teasing, but was distinctly aware he was not laughing. She dug her hole deeper. “I am forever hearing upon someone’s lips how the clothing makes the man, and now I see it applies to women as well. I have not received as many compliments in the whole of the Season as I have tonight in Madame Suzette’s gown. She will be thrilled, but I should be happier if gentlemen would be honest and admit they admire the dress and not the woman wearing it.

“Why must everyone in London place so much importance upon a pretty face? There is also too much significance put on clothing and…and…capabilities. It is the inside of a person that is essential.” She was being unfair, as she remembered how much she’d wanted her appearance tonight to please him. And she could hear the anger in her own words by the time she reached the end of her speech. Good heavens, why had she turned it into such a tirade?

The silence hung in the air thickly, and she was afraid she would no longer be able to hold back her tears. It was so quiet she could hear the trickling fountain in the small park on Berkeley Square. Knowing herself near home, she felt it safe to say, “I apologize, my lord. As I said, I am a little overtired tonight, and you already know about my lamentable temper. We should never have entertained such a silly topic. Before we get home I would like to thank you for my first night at the opera.”

The horses slowed to a stop, but before she could turn to step down, Lord Devlin grabbed both of her hands and demanded she give him her full attention. “I am going to make you eat those words someday, Nicole. My compliment had nothing to do with the gown you are wearing. It
was
based on the entire person you are—your beauty and your inner qualities. I felt quite fortunate to be escorting you tonight, and I intend to spend the remainder of the Season teaching you how to tell the difference between Spanish coin, flirting and a sincere compliment…and being able to accept the last. Good night, Nicole.”

As she stepped from the coach, her only thought was
what a horror of a coil!

She got little sleep that night. After tossing and turning into every position possible, she decided what she needed to do. She knew her mother would not hear of leaving London before the Season’s end, so she determined she must end her relationship with Lord Devlin, whatever that relationship might be. She wondered at the ache in her heart as she became resolved.

Since her accident two years ago, Nicole had given up on the idea of love. After Michael, she was certain no one would want her, and she was equally certain she would never trust enough to love again. She knew her blindness made her undesirable as a wife, and she vowed she would never be a burden to any man, so she had accepted her fate and committed herself to her faith, her home and her family.

Her mother had counseled her not to compare her experience with Michael to other men she might meet. But she could not help it. She no longer loved Michael, but when he had come to take the position as doctor on their estate, she’d been charmed. He was so different from the men she had grown up with; he was mature and caring and he loved God. They’d grown close as she’d helped him get to know his patients, and it had not been long before she’d been sure she was in love with him. When he had asked her to marry him, it had seemed the most natural thing in the world to tell him yes.

Now, however, all her well-laid plans were crumbling.
Lord, did I go against Your plan by agreeing
to this trip? Should I have remained resolved despite Mama’s pleas?
She was afraid she had let Lord Devlin invade that sturdy wall Michael had helped to build, and to be honest, she could no longer claim it was invaded in friendship. Nicole was determined to prevent further assault on her feelings before her battered heart could be completely broken.

Lady Hampton had made Nicole afraid she was no different from any other flighty woman who fell in love with a handsome face and charming manners! She knew she had never felt like this before, not even with Michael. She had not even known it
could
be like this.

But she must sever the connection. She could not actually believe Beth’s assertions that Lord Devlin loved or was more interested in her, but, were it true, he would dissemble as soon as he knew the truth about her. And should a miracle occur and he prove her unworthy assumptions false, she could still never be a burden to such a man. Especially one she cared for so much.

As dawn broke through the windows of her room, Nicole came to the decision that she must protect him as well as herself. She would not allow their feelings or attraction or mutual affection—or whatever it was—to go any further.

W
hile thoughts of avoiding Lord Devlin continued to occupy her mind, a quick knock sounded upon her door only seconds before Chelsea was in the room and on her bed with one quick leap. She was bouncing up and down in excitement.

“I have carried a missive upstairs for you that just arrived,” she said, waving it all about her head. “But I will only give it to you
after
you tell me how you liked the opera!”

“Ah, it is to be blackmail this morning, I see,” said Nicole, trying to rally her tormented spirits. “May I at least inquire who the missive is from before I decide whether to give in to your demands?”

Chelsea looked at the back of the beautiful ivory vellum and read out, with her nose very high in the air, “Lady Elizabeth Hampton,” in her most haughty voice.

Nicole knew a moment of dread
and
a moment of excitement at what Beth could have to say, but she did not want Chelsea to read her thoughts. “That is enough,
young lady. Lady Beth is a very nice person and not in the least starched up. I met her last night at the theater.”

“So you liked Lord Devlin’s friends and had a pleasant time?” Chelsea asked with a hopeful plea.

Nicole put on her best smile and said, “Yes, love, we had a splendid time, and the music was beautiful.” Her voice changed to a conspiratorial whisper. “Mama even met an old beau, but you must not tell her I told you so.”

“But what did Lord Devlin think of your gown? It was the most beautiful dress I have ever seen. Do you think I will be able to wear it when I make my come-out?” Chelsea ended with a sigh, as if that time were a thousand years away.

Nicole flinched as she remembered her outburst in the carriage last night and said, “Chelsea, the dress was a success, but you will be special in your own way when it is time for your Season. You will not need to depend upon a gown.

“Darling, it is I who got caught up for a moment in the vanity that I have been complaining about in others. We constantly turn our noses up at Lord Stokes for vanity over
his
attire. I know I am vain enough to want to look nice, but I do not want people to know me by my clothes.” Her voice changed to a haunting whisper. “You know Father would never have wanted it so.”

Nicole could tell she had dampened Chelsea’s spirits, but she knew she had made her point, so she ended her recital in an indulgent confession. “To own the truth, I have never had so many compliments in my life!” She pushed herself up, leaning back against her pillows.
“Now why do you not read the missive before Stella arrives with my chocolate? That is, of course, assuming I have met the blackmail conditions!”

As she tore the vellum, Chelsea grumbled, “It is very short, what a disappointment.”

Nicole breathed easier as she realized a short note was not a disappointment to her. “It would help if you would read it aloud, love!” Nicole said.

“All right, I’m reading, I’m reading…

Oh dear,
thought Nicole,
should I go?
What if Beth talked again of her suspicions regarding Lord Devlin? Determinedly she decided it would be the perfect time to reiterate her stand. Yes, she
would
go, and her spirits were immediately lifted.

“Chelsea, you see how your prayers are still being answered? I have met another friend in London, and I like her very much. You and Mama cannot say I am not
being a gadabout now!” Nicole sat up straighter in bed as she heard her abigail knock on the door.

“Stella, I am to have tea with Lady Hampton this morning.” Nicole started chewing on her lip. “Do you know what I should wear?” She turned her head in the direction of Chelsea, and covered her mouth with her hand in surprise! They both laughed aloud at how closely the question had come, following her lecture to Chelsea only moments ago.

“Is it to be a party, Miss Nick?” asked Stella.

“No, it will just be the two of us,” she said and then added, “It does not have to be anything special, Stella, I am resolved to dress as dowdily as I did before!”

Chelsea’s laughter echoed down the hall.

Toby led Nicole into the Hamptons’ townhouse, and Beth rushed to meet her in the foyer. “I am so glad you have come, even though I gave you no other option!”

They both laughed, and Beth put her arm around Nicole’s waist as soon as the butler took her wrap. “As it is such a beautiful day, I thought we might take our tea on the veranda. If you would prefer to remain indoors, however, I am quite agreeable.”

Nicole said, smiling, “The veranda would be wonderful. I am always out of doors at home and much prefer it to a drawing room.” She faltered a little, then added, “If you would be so kind as to have your butler tell Toby where we are, I would appreciate it.”

Lady Hampton leaned in close to Nicole’s ear. “You
must
tell me about your manservant,” whispered Beth. “Indeed, he intimidates me so!” She drew a short
breath. “He is so large and obviously more than a footman to you. Well, I am at it again, am I not? I am acting as if you have known me for years and will tell me everything about yourself, even though we have only just met. You must not mind me, and you must stop me if I get too forward.”

During this fast-paced speech, Beth led Nicole to a comfortable lounge chair with soft padding. Nicole heard Beth settle in on her right with a small table in between for the tea tray.

She smiled tenderly and said, “Beth, the only time I will ever stop you is to make you slow down!” Then, as she became more serious, she twisted the hands previously resting peacefully in her lap. “Yes, Toby is more than a servant to me. I am sure you have heard by now that I was in an accident a few years ago.” She blushed as she talked, not knowing what Beth was thinking. “Toby is always with me…since then.” She was quiet for a moment and felt Beth’s eyes on her. “If you do not mind, I would rather not talk about the accident quite yet. I would much rather spend an afternoon getting to know
you
.”

Beth leaned over and squeezed her hands. “My dear girl, we can talk about anything you like. It is amazing to me how there are people that you just know are going to be special to you. I felt that when we met last night.”

The butler interrupted with the tea tray. While she prepared two cups of tea, Lady Hampton spoke of the beautiful lawns spreading out before them and why she loved to sit exactly where they were. When they
both settled in again, Beth continued as if the interruption had never occurred. “I so much wanted to see you today!”

Both relaxed comfortably with their shoes off and their feet tucked up under them like little girls. They laughed at the picture they must present. They imitated the outraged expressions of old governesses and the patronesses of Almack’s, could they see them so!

Beth sipped her tea. “You know, I was quite serious when I said I knew instantly we would become fast friends. I think God provides us with the special people we need just at the right moment.” Nicole heard the slight questioning in Beth’s voice. The
ton
had little use for God, and she knew it was a risk for Beth to discuss it with someone she barely knew.

Emotion gripped Nicole, and the rattle of her teacup was the only indication of its intensity.

Beth quickly took the dainty porcelain cup from Nicole’s shaking hands. “I did not mean to upset you, dear. You must not worry, I do not intend to push myself upon you. I understand that most people are not so easily attached and I often…”

Nicole broke into this speech with a sound that was one part laughter and one part sob. “Beth, please stop. I promise you have not upset me. I…” She stopped, eyes pooled with tears, now openly portraying how her heart was touched. She turned her face upward to feel the sun’s warmth before she spoke. “I feel you will think me all silly sensibility, but I was afraid to hope you would desire a close connection so quickly. And I have yet to meet another soul who
mentioned
God,
much less believed He has provided all they have! It has made me miss my home so much. I have felt isolated and lonely here, and I hoped that this agreeable feeling I had toward you would be just what I needed.” She wiped at the tears on her cheeks, then sought to regain her composure. “You
have
been lonely, have you not?” Beth asked tenderly. “I thought you must have been very solitary when in London since so many of the gentlemen in the box last night asked for introductions to you. To own the truth, I felt some of that was what you wished for.”

Nicole admonished her through a few lingering tears. “You, my lady, are too knowing by half!”
Dear Lord, thank you for this day and this new friend,
she prayed silently before she went on. “Mama thought it would be good for me to come to London. We are to see a renowned doctor while we are here, but Mama wanted me to take the opportunity to meet new people as well.” She became more forthright. “But I am not good at meeting new people. I miss my home and I have found no one until now with whom I felt the least bit comfortable.” She would have liked to add,
excepting Lord Devlin,
but she did not wish to discuss him.

The discerning woman sitting next to her, however, had other ideas. “What about Dev?” She knew she had caught Nicole off guard the previous night with talk of love, and she hoped to remedy that.

Nicole determined it was time to clarify the relationship between her and Lord Devlin. She only prayed she could explain it rationally.

“Lord Devlin is definitely the exception,” she said.
“I consider him a special friend, indeed. At first I never knew when he was teasing me or flirting with me. It did not seem a relationship that other men and women shared in London. But I have seen enough now to know that it is
not
normal. It is very strange having the most sought-after bachelor in London as a friend!

“I am not explaining this very well.” Nicole gave a frustrated sigh. “He has been all that is truly kind and amiable, but I think he enjoys me because I am no threat to his bachelorhood.”

Nicole knew Lord Devlin held a special place in Beth’s heart, so she wished to be as honest as possible. “You have known him longer, of course, but he seems to me to be the first
real
man I have met in London. He talks about serious issues instead of putting on airs to impress the rest of Society. That may be because he knows he does not
have
to put on airs with me. I hope that is true.”

She knew she must completely empty her budget if she was to convince her new friend she was serious. “He is also very funny, and I think his humor is more meaningful than many of his other characteristics. He laughs with me, he laughs at me and, most importantly, he is not above laughing at himself. I know I tell you nothing you do not already know.”

She was rambling like a silly schoolgirl, and she determined to get to her point. “What I do
not
know is why God brought him into my life at just this time.” She was reflective for a moment. “I suppose He knew I needed Lord Devlin in the same way He knew I would
need you. I have been so very disillusioned by the people I have met in London.

“The difference, however, between you and Lord Devlin is that the friendship he and I share cannot go any further, especially once the Season is over.” She hoped she made Beth realize that she
had
accepted Devlin as a rare friend. But she could not leave an opening for Beth’s hope of making a match between them.

Lady Hampton, too, set down her teacup. “Nicole, I know I shocked you last night, and I am very sorry. I have been worried that I might have given you a disgust of me.” At Nicole’s immediate protest, Beth interrupted, “But I want us to be totally honest with each other, and I have not changed my opinion. I truly believe if he is not already in love with you, he soon will be.” There was a pregnant pause. “Nicole, I would not see him hurt again.”

“Beth,” Nicole said, emphasizing every word, “I would never knowingly hurt him.” She paused, feeling God’s quiet conviction even as she spoke the words. She was not telling him about her sight, knowing her secret might cause him pain, but she brushed if off, doubting that the information would be anything of lasting import to him.

“You must own the truth,” Nicole continued. “You only like us both so much that you
want
it to be so. Much more than it
is
so. Lord Devlin and I have been honest with each other about avoiding marriage, and we have even discussed how very strange our relationship is in light of our genders.” She put the finishing touches on Beth’s hopes. “Indeed, dear lady, I could not
imagine it being anything more because he has no relationship with God. It is just too important to me, as are my home and my duties.”

“Oh, Nicky, you are going to be so good for me! But before we leave the subject of Dev, may I explain two things?” Nicole started to shake her head, but Beth knew these things would not cause Nicole any more pain.

“First of all, I love him like a brother, that is why I am concerned for him. But, secondly, do not rule faith and love out of his life. Devlin seldom speaks of his family, except in sarcasm, so I know his parents gave him little affection. But he utterly adores his grandmother. She is one of God’s most faithful servants, and has always been a major presence for good in his life. She gave him all her love, and he in turn values that love above all else. He may disdain love all he likes, but he understands the emotion well enough.

“He also has Hampton and me as an example. I hope that does not sound arrogant. Dev would never admit it now, but I know he had a difficult time accepting that Peter and I were great friends before we married. He assumed I was only trying to get my claws into him. He is honest enough to admit that Peter did fall in love with me and was not tricked into marriage. And he would certainly agree that our love is real and well worth the having. Dev has truly had reasons to become cynical about love, but though he may scorn it, he knows that it does exist. He has not yet realized, as we have, that love is not something we can control.”