The Anarchist Cookbook (18 page)

PLANT PROBLEM CHART

Always check the overall environmental conditions prior to passing judgment - soil around 7

pH or slightly less - plenty of water, light, fresh air, loose soil, no water standing in pools.

SYMPTOMPROBABLY PROBLEM/CURE
Larger leaves turning yellow - smaller leaves still

green.Nitrogen deficiency - add nitrate of soda or organic fertilizer.Older leaves will curl

at edges, turn dark, possibly with a purple cast.Phosphorous deficiency - add commercial

phosphate.Mature leaves develop a yellowish cast to least venial areas.Magnesium

deficiency - add commercial fertilizer with a magnesium content.Mature leaves turn yellow

and then become spotted with edge areas turning dark gray.Potassium deficiency - add

muriate of potash.Cracked stems, no healthy support tissue.Boron deficiency - add any

plant food containing boron.Small wrinkled leaves with yellowish vein systems.Zinc

deficiency - add commercial plant food containing zinc.Young leaves become deformed,

possibly yellowing.Molybdenum deficiency - use any plant food with a bit of molybdenum in

it.

EXTRA SECTION: BAD WEED/GOOD WEED

Can you turn bad weed into good weed? Surprisingly enough, the answer to this often-

asked inquiry is, yes! Like most other things in life, the amount of good you are going to do

relates directly to how much effort you are going to put into it. There are no instant,

supermarket products which you can spray on Kansas catnip and have wonderweed, but

there are a number of simplified, inexpensive processes (Gee, Mr. Wizard!) which will

enhance mediocre grass somewhat, and there are a couple of fairly involved processes

which will do up even almost-parsley weed into something worth writing home about.

EASES

Place the dope in a container which allows air to enter in a restricted fashion (such as a

can with nail holes punched in its lid) and add a bunch of dry ice, and the place the

whole shebang in the freezer for a few days. This process will add a certain amount of

potency to the product, however, this only works with dry ice, if you use normal,

everyday freezer ice, you will end up with a soggy mess...

Take a quantity of grass and dampen it, place in a baggy or another socially acceptable

container, and store it in a dark, dampish place for a couple of weeks (burying it also

seems to work). The grass will develop a mold which tastes a bit harsh, a and burns a

tiny bit funny, but does increase the potency.

Expose the grass to the high intensity light of a sunlamp for a full day or so. Personally, I

don't feel that this is worth the effort, but if you just spent $400 of your friend's

money for this brick of super-Colombian, right-from-the-President's-personal-stash,

and it turns out to be Missouri weed, and you're packing your bags to leave town

before the people arrive for their shares, well, you might at least try it. Can't hurt.

Take the undesirable portions of our stash (stems, seeds, weak weed, worms, etc.) and

place them in a covered pot, with enough rubbing alcohol to cover everything. Now

CAREFULLY boil the mixture on an ELECTRIC stove or lab burner. DO NOT USE GAS -

the alcohol is too flammable. After 45 minutes of heat, remove the pot and strain the

solids out, SAVING THE ALCOHOL. Now, repeat the process with the same residuals,

but fresh alcohol. When the second boil is over, remove the solids again, combine the

two quantities of alcohol and reboil until you have a syrupy mixture. Now, this syrupy

mixture will contain much of the THC formerly hidden in the stems and such. One

simply takes this syrup the thoroughly combines it with the grass that one wishes to

improve upon.

SPECIAL SECTION ON RELATED SUBJECT MARYGIN

Marygin is an anagram of the words marijuana and gin, as in Eli Whitney. It is a plastic

tumbler which acts much like a commercial cotton gin. One takes about one ounce of an

herb and breaks it up. This is then placed in the Marygin and the protruding knob is

rotated. This action turns the internal wheel, which separates the grass from the debris

(seeds, stems). It does not pulverize the grass as screens have a habit of doing and is

easily washable.

Marygin is available from:

P.O. Box 5827

Tuscon, Arizona 85703

$5.00

GRASS

Edmund Scientific Company

555 Edscorp Building

Barrington, New Jersy 08007

Free Catalog is a wonder of good things for the potential grass grower. They have an

electric thermostat greenhouse for starting plants. Lights which approximate the true

color balance of the sun and are probably the most beneficial types available: 40 watt, 48

inch Indoor sun bulb, 75 or 150 watt And, they have a natural growth regulator for plants

(Gibberellin) which can change height, speed growth, and maturity, promote blossoming,

etc. Each plant reacts differently to treatment with Gibberellin...there's no fun like

experimenting.

SUGGESTED READING

THE CONNOISSEUR'S HANDBOOK OF MARIJUANA, Bill Drake

Straight Arrow Publishing - $3«0

625 Third Street

San Francisco, California

FLASH

P.O.Box 16098

San Fransicso, California 94116

Stocks a series of pamphlets on grass, dope manufacture, cooking. Includes the Mary Jane

Superweed series.

73. Match Head Bomb by The Jolly Roger

Simple safety match heads in a pipe, capped at both ends, make a devastating bomb. It is

set off with a regular fuse. A plastic baggy is put into the pipe before the heads go in to

prevent detonation by contact with the metal. Cutting enough match heads to fill the pipe

can be tedious work for one but an evening's fun for the family if you can drag them away

from the TV.

74. How To Terrorize McDonalds by The Jolly Roger

Now, although McDonalds is famous for it's advertising and making the whole world think

that the BigMac is the best thing to come along since sliced bread (buns?), each little

restaurant is as amateur and simple as a new-found business. Not only are all the

employees rather inexperienced at what they're supposed to do, but they will just loose all

control when an emergency occurs....here we go! ! First, get a few friends (4 is good...I'll

get to this later) and enter the McDonalds restaurant, talking loudly and reeking of some

strange smell that automatically makes the old couple sitting by the door leave. If one of

those pimply-faced goons is wiping the floor, then track some crap all over it (you could

pretend to slip and break your head, but you might actually do so). Next, before you get

the food, find a table. Start yelling and releasing some strange body odor so anybody

would leave their table and walk out the door. Sit two friends there, and go up to the

counter with another. Find a place where the line is short, or if the line is long say "I only

wanna buy a coke." and you get moved up. Now, you get to do the ordering ...heh heh heh.

Somebody always must want a plain hamburger with absolutely nothing on it (this takes

extra time to make, and drives the little hamburger-makers insane)..order a 9-pack of

chicken McNuggets...no, a 20 pack...no, three 6 packs...wait...go back to the table and ask

who wants what. Your other friend waits by the counter and makes a pass at the female

clerk. Get back to the thing and order three 6-packs of chicken etc....now she says "What

kind of sauce would you like?". Of course, say that you all want barbecue sauce one of your

friends wants 2 (only if there are only 2 containers of barbecue sauce left). Then they

hafta go into the storeroom and open up another box. Finally, the drinks...somebody wants

coke, somebody root beer, and somebody diet coke. After these are delivered, bring them

back and say "I didn't order a diet coke! I ordered a sprite!" This gets them mad; better

yet, turn down something terrible that nobody wants to drink, so they hafta throw the

drink away; they can't sell it. After all the food(?) is handed to you, you must never have

enough money to pay. The clerk will be so angry and confused that she'll let you get away

with it (another influence on her is your friend asking her "If you let us go, I'll go out with

you." and giving her a fake fone number). Now, back to your table. But first, somebody

likes ketchup and mustard. And plenty (too much) of napkins. Oh, and somebody likes forks

and knives, so always end up breaking the ones you pick outta the box. Have your friends

yell out, Yay!! ! We have munchies! " As loud as they can. That'll worry the entire

restaurant. Proceed to sit down. So, you are sitting in the smoking section (by accident)

eh? Well, while one of the tobacco-breathers isn't looking, put a sign from the other side

of the room saying "Do not smoke here" and he'll hafta move...then he goes into the real

non-smoking section, and gets yelled at. He then thinks that no smoking is allowed in the

restaurant, so he eats outside (in the pouring rain) after your meal is finished (and quite a

few splattered-opened ketchup packets are all over your table), try to leave. But oops!

Somebody has to do his duty in the men's room. As he goes there, he sticks an uneaten

hamburger (would you dare to eat one of their hamburgers?) Inside the toilet, flushes it a

while, until it runs all over the bathroom. Oops! Send a pimply-faced teenager to clean it

up. (He won't know that brown thing is a hamburger, and he'll get sick. Wheee!) As you

leave the restaurant, looking back at your uncleaned table, somebody must remember that

they left their chocolate shake there! The one that's almost full! ! He takes it then says

"This tastes like crap!", Then he takes off the lid and throws it into the garbage can...oops!

He missed, and now the same poor soul who's cleaning up the bathroom now hasta clean up

chocolate shake. Then leave the joint, reversing the "Yes, we're open" sign (as a reminder

of your visit) There you have it! You have just put all of McDonalds into complete mayhem.

And since there is no penalty for littering in a restaurant, bugging people in a public eatery

(or throw-upery, in this case) you get off scot-free. Wasn't that fun?

75. "Mentor's Last Words" by +++The Mentor+++

The following file is being reprinted in honor and sympathy for the many phreaks and

hackers that have been busted recently by the Secret Service.

The Conscience of a Hacker

Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager Arrested in Computer

Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"... Damn kids. They're all alike.

But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain, ever take a look

behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces

shaped him, what may have molded him? I am a hacker, enter my world... Mine is a world

that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us

bores me... Damn underachiever. They're all alike. I'm in junior high or high school. I've

listened to teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand

it. "No, Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..." Damn kid. Probably

copied it. They're all alike. I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second,

this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed it up.

Not because it doesn't like me or feels threatened by me or thinks I'm a smart ass or

doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...damn kid. All he does is play games. They're

all alike. And then it happened. A door opened to a world. Rushing through the phone line

like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the

day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found. "This is it... this is where I

belong..." I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may

never hear from them again... I know you all... Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again.

They're all alike... You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at

school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip through were

pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic.

The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops

of water in the desert.

This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the

baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-

cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore... and

you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist

without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals.

You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us

believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.

Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging