The Amish Bride (43 page)

“I’m sorry.” He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his feet dangling. “I couldn’t make it to the bathroom.”

The custard had come back up, all over the front of his nightshirt.

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

Convicted of my insensitivity, I shook my head. “It’s not your fault. Let’s get you cleaned up.” I unbuttoned the shirt and slipped it off his arms as he told me to look in the top drawer of the dresser for a clean one. Next I ran warm water over a washcloth and then cleaned his face and chest. He was emaciated, and I could tell that just the touch of the cloth was painful.

When I’d finished, I asked if he needed help getting to the bathroom.

He answered that he didn’t as he collapsed back on the bed. I suspected he needed more pain meds, especially after getting sick, but I wasn’t sure how much was still in his system and therefore how much I should give him, so I didn’t mention it.

I started to leave when he asked me to wait.

“You didn’t tell me your name,” he said.

I stopped and turned slowly.

“What is it?” He had his head turned toward me, his brown eyes wide.

I left the room. Feeling horrible, I collapsed into the wingback chair. Why hadn’t Ezra stayed? I’d never felt so alone in my life.

Thy will be done.
“What is Your will?” I whispered out loud. “Please show me Your will.”

I peeked in on Freddy a little later, and his eyes were closed. I decided to make the frosting for the cake so I could ice it as soon as it had cooled. As I was beating the butter and sugar, my phone began vibrating in my pocket. I dug it out quickly, hoping it was Mom. It wasn’t. The number that showed up was Rosalee’s bakery.

I answered, anticipating Rosalee was calling to check on me and relieved that someone cared. I blurted out an eager “Hello.”

“Ella, it’s Luke.”

“Oh, Luke,” I said, tears filling my eyes.

“I was praying for you and decided to call—”

Before he could say another word, I was pouring out my story to him, blubbering on about Zed and Freddy.

“He doesn’t know it’s me,” I said. “And I’m afraid he doesn’t have much time left.”

“I know this is hard for you,” he said. “And I don’t think before that I listened enough to how you felt—but if you’re not honest with him tonight you might not have another chance.”

“I know,” I wailed.

“Do you feel that you could tell him? I’ll pray. And then call me back. I’ll wait until I hear from you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” he said.

I hung up and tiptoed back into Freddy’s room. He opened his eyes when I stopped at the side of his bed. He tried to raise his head but couldn’t. I wedged the pillow under it a little more, giving him some height.

“I didn’t answer you,” I said.

“I know,” he whispered.

“My name is Ella.”

“What a coincidence—” he stopped.

Even though it seemed as if he’d comprehended it on his own, I said, “Your daughter, Ella.”

He stared at me for a long moment, our eyes locked. Tears welled up, and he swallowed hard before he spoke. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“I’m so sorry.” He reached out for my hand. I let him take it.

“I know.”

He began to cry. “Did you get my letter?”

I nodded.

When I didn’t say anything more, he continued, “I am so proud of you—and Zed. Walking away from all of you is the stupidest thing I could have ever done. Can you forgive me?”

“Yes,” I answered. And I had. I realized that in the middle of changing his nightshirt the resentment was gone. He was a broken, dying, sorry man, one who had reached out and received God’s grace.

God had forgiven him. How could I not do likewise?

I stayed in his room for a while, sitting on the chair that Mom, Zed, or Izzy must have occupied for the last few weeks. I didn’t frost the cake. Or wash up the dishes. I just sat, holding his hand and watching him.

He told me how cute I was when I was little, how much I talked, and how smart I was. “You’re wonderful now too,” he said. “I see God’s beauty in you.”

I didn’t know how to answer, but that didn’t matter. He kept talking. “You had a right to stay away from me, to feel the way you did.”

It was my turn to get emotional.

“I didn’t blame you, not at all,” he said. “I’m just thankful you were willing to see me now.”

I nodded, and he closed his eyes. After he was finally asleep I went back to the living room and called Luke. I told him how it went.

He didn’t say much, just that he thought I’d done the right thing and that I’d never regret it. I agreed.

Mom came home an hour later. She said Zed had been quite talkative the last time he awoke and was then resting well when she left. The doctor said it was possible he would make a full recovery. Right now they were most concerned about his concussion and keeping him calm. She told me to go to bed in her room because she was going to sleep on the couch and see to Freddy.

I asked about Ada.

“Her labor slowed. Last I heard she was about ready to push. It shouldn’t be too much longer.”

“Do you want to go over there? I can watch Freddy.”

She gave me a funny look and then said, “No. I’d rather be here.”

“Why didn’t you tell him I was coming home?”

She rubbed her forehead. “I didn’t want to disappoint a dying man.” Her eyes locked on mine. “It was his last wish—his only wish.” She reached out to me then, hugging me tightly. “I’m so proud of you, Ella. You’ve done a beautiful thing.”

In the morning I woke to the slamming of car doors and footsteps on
the porch. I hurried down the stairs in Mom’s robe. There were two men dressed in suits standing in the living room with Mom.

She turned toward me. “Freddy passed during the night.” Her voice shook.

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

Her eyes filled with tears.

“Mom?”

She fell into my arms then. “He went quickly. I didn’t expect it so soon.” She took my hand and led me to his bed, while the two men stayed in the living room.

My father’s eyes were closed, and his face was peaceful.

“He went in his sleep,” she said. “I think he hung on until he saw you, and then he finally let go.”

“But he was still able to walk last night. How could he be dead this morning?”

“It happens that way sometimes.”

I stood beside the bed and began to weep. For Freddy. For Zed. For me. For Mom. She wrapped her arms around me and held me while I cried.

“He took so much from me,” she said. “But he also gave me my two greatest gifts. I have no regrets. Only joy mixed in with sorrow.”

T
he day was a blur. Ada had had a baby boy in the early morning, not long before Freddy passed. They named him Abraham after our great-great-great-grandfather from Switzerland, but said they would call him Abe. Will had phoned right after the undertakers left. Mom shared our sad news with him, saying what a blessing it was that Abe came into the world just as Freddy was leaving.

That morning Luke and Rosalee called, and I caught them up on things. It was good to hear from them both. Before lunch Mom and I went to the funeral home and planned a simple graveside service for my father. While we were there, Uncle Alexander called Mom’s cell and offered a plot in the Amish cemetery near their house. He knew Freddy had died penniless, and buying a plot would be a tremendous strain on Mom’s budget. He’d already talked it through with the bishop. Mom cried as she told him yes. After she hung up, I offered her the little bit of money I had in savings.

She shook her head. “Thank you, Ella, but this is my responsibility.”

“You have Zed’s medical bills too.” I couldn’t imagine what those would be. I knew Mom had health insurance, but her part of the hospital bill would still be a lot.

“I’m not going to worry about that,” she said. “Not now.”

Mom told Zed about Freddy’s passing that afternoon. I told him about Freddy’s concern for him and that I’d reconciled with our father before the end. Zed acknowledged what I said but didn’t want to talk about it. I guessed it was all too much for him to process, considering his injuries.

He walked that afternoon with Mom and me at his side. Not long after we got him back into bed, Izzy called, and Zed waved us out of the room as he talked with her. When we came back, he said she did have strep but was on antibiotics and would come see him after a couple of days. He couldn’t stop smiling as he told us that last part.

Mom and I stopped by Aunt Klara’s on our way home to see Ada and little Abe. Lexie’s rental car was still in the driveway. I hoped she’d been able to get some rest. The house was full of chaos with the twins running around in circles and Christy hollering at them to calm down.

“Where’s your
daed
?” Mom asked Christy.

“At our house, choring. He’ll be back.”

I wondered where Ezra was. He should have been doing that for his brother.

Mom headed upstairs, where I assumed Lexie and Aunt Klara were helping Ada, and I settled the little girls down at the table, getting coloring books and crayons from the box Aunt Klara kept under the puzzles. I helped them for a few minutes until I heard Mom call my name from the stairs.

“Ada wants to see you.”

“We’ll go with you,” Mel said, hopping down from the table.

“Not yet. Let me check and see how Ada is first,” I said. “Color your picture so you can take it up to Abe after a while.” I hurried up the stairs, heading down the landing to Ada’s old room. The door was open, and I could see Lexie perched on the end of the bed. Aunt Klara was sitting beside Ada, who was holding the baby. He had a head full of curly hair.

I looked down at him, but something about him seemed familiar, for some reason, so familiar that I stared at him for a long moment before I remembered to gush.

“He’s so cute,” I said. And he really was. He was beautiful. “Oh, Ada, I’m so happy for you.”

“Would you like to hold him?”

I nodded, taking him in my arms. His weight settled against me, and the longer I stared into his little face, the more familiar he seemed. He was awake, and he looked up at me with inky eyes. His face was round and full. He was small but alert, and his head full of curly dark hair made him appear much older than he was.

Aunt Klara was standing beside me, her eyes on the baby too. “I can’t stop staring at him.” She stroked the edge of his face. “I do believe he is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen.”

“How did it go?” I glanced from Ada to Lexie and then caught the smile between them.

“Really well,” Lexie said. “Ada did great.”

Ada shook her head a little. “I did what I had to do.”

“How’s Will faring?”

Both women chuckled. “You’d think he had the baby himself for all his shenanigans,” Lexie said.

I smiled. Turning to Aunt Klara, I asked, “Has
Mammi
seen him?”

“
Ya
,” she said. “This morning. But then she went back out to her house. She said she wasn’t feeling well.”

That was when I realized whom Abe looked like.

The baby in the painting.

“I should go check on her,” Aunt Klara said.

“No, you stay here. I can do that,” I said.

She reached for the baby, and I slid him into her arms.

“The little girls are restless,” I said to Ada. “They are coloring pictures for Abe.”

“Good idea,” she said. “Tell them to come on up—quietly—when they finish.”

I relayed the message when I reached the dining room. Christy was coloring too now, and all of them seemed engrossed in their work, so I slipped out the back door to the
daadi haus
. When I entered, it was completely dark.

“
Mammi
?” I reached for the light switch. She wasn’t in her chair, but my bag was exactly where I’d left it the day before, next to the wall of the kitchen. I headed down the hall, calling out her name again.