The Almost Girl – ebook edition (34 page)

“I know what it means,” I say for lack of anything else, taking the sword reverently in my hands. The craftsmanship is extraordinary, the weight of it perfect.

“So,” Sauer says. “Let’s see you try it out.” I frown at him, but he is staring at me expectantly. I glance at Caden, who agrees and moves to sit with Sauer at the far end of the room, giving me enough space with the deadly weapon.

Holding the blade vertically between my palms in front of my face, I take a deep breath and then lay the sword flat out in front of me on both palms, as I sink into sideways lunge and bow. I close my eyes, letting my breathing and the movement of my body guide me.

The training studio fades away and I am alone. Flicking the hilt of the sword up, I grab it easily and spin into a complicated series of thrusts, jumps, and parries. This time I don’t hold back as the sword flows in and out of my movements like a binding thread, a fluid extension of me.

I’m spinning faster and faster, letting the power heating up within me take over, letting the part of me that isn’t human lend me strength, until I am nothing but shadow and flashes of light. And still I go faster. I can feel my heart burning, a vortex of flame and liquid exhilaration. Perhaps Sauer is right – maybe I am better than the Vectors. My chest pounding, I finish with a final slash and bend into a forward lunge with the blade held over my head in perfect symmetry.

I open my eyes. There is dead silence in the room. Self-conscious, I stand, only to find that it’s no longer just Caden and Sauer standing there. Aurela is there too, accompanied by six people in hooded cloaks. I hadn’t even heard them come in.

I recognize four of them immediately as the Sector Leaders of Sectors Three, Four, Six, and Eight. The other two I don’t know, but they’re all staring at me with identical expressions of astonishment, awe, and something else I’m not quick to identify, despite seeing it thousands of times before.

Fear.  

REVOLUTION

 

I wipe the grime off my skin with a washcloth, using a special cleansing oil. What I wouldn’t give for one of the decadent showers of Caden’s world. That’s one of the things I treasured – that and the beauty of a world that hasn’t been ravaged by war. For a second, I think of the lake in the mountains that I saw with Shae, and my heart aches. I won’t see either of them again. They have become synonymous with beauty and loss.

Despite the unexpected audience at the end, the training exercise was exactly what I needed to feel normal… to feel like myself again. Tugging on an undershirt and a pair of leggings, I drag a brush through my hair. It’s gotten longer, but I haven’t bothered to cut it. Staring at myself in the mirror over the water basin, I hardly recognize myself. Faded chunks of green intertwine with darker strands. I’ve lost weight, and my cheekbones ridge prominently on the sides of my face, but my eyes are bright and cheeks rosy.

My thin blue-weaved braid hangs over my left ear to my shoulder. Carefully, I unravel the braid, using my knife to hack off the strands to match the length of the rest of my hair. I don’t know why I left it – but it’s been a part of me for so long, a status of my rank. Of course, all that has changed. I am no longer a Legion General. I am no one.

No, I am worse. I’m a fugitive.

Like my mother. Like Shae.

Thinking of her, I glance at the long blade resting in its scabbard on my bed and feel a tear slide down my cheek. I was on her mind even though I barely spent a second of thought on her. She was always the more compassionate of the two of us, and no wonder; I’m half a real person with little empathy for anyone. A flash of bitter self-loathing surges through me… for the thing that I am.

Grabbing my backpack roughly, I rifle through it to take my mind off that train of thought. My hand is drawn to a slim rectangular object. Shae’s drive. It’s the last remaining piece of the puzzle. Swallowing hard, I plug it into a holograph port resting on the small table on one side of the room. Shae’s face swims into focus. My stomach swan dives to my feet but I force myself to double-tap the play button.

Hello, Riven.
My entire body flinches at the sound of her voice and the soft expression on her face. She could be sitting across the table from me. My fingers curl into my sides, bloodless, as her words continue.
If you’re seeing this, then I’m gone. And hopefully you and Cade are still alive and you found your way back to Neospes. There’s so much I have to say to you, so much I need to explain, but finding the right words is a challenge in itself. First of all, I love you. I’m pretty sure you don’t think I ever did, but it’s true. I’ve always loved you and I always believed in you. The real you.

I want to throw the drive and the hologram against the wall. I can’t even bear to look at her beautiful face. Every cell in me is shaking with regret and grief. It’s nearly more than I can take, but I force myself to listen despite the gut-wrenching anguish spiraling through me.

You’re probably going to find out a lot about yourself if you’re back in Neospes, things about your father and our mother. She’s alive, Riven! I wanted to tell you that day when I came back for you, but it would have been too risky for her safety. She’s been here all along. She’s the one who got Caden and his mother out. She’s the one who sent me to protect him. If you haven’t found her already, find her. Go to Sector Seven and ask for Commander Sauer. He will take you to her. If you do see Sauer, tell him I’ll see him again and he’s always with me.

I know you’re being extra careful about staying off the grid, but trust no one.

TRUST NO ONE.
Shae’s face and words are emphatic.

One last thing, my sister. Thank you for looking out for Caden. He’s the real deal. Cale’s the clone. I’m sure you already know this by now, but if you don’t, I’m sorry about him and that you had to find out the truth this way. I know you were – are – close. But there are things underway in Neospes that make it hard to see where the real betrayal lies… with Murek, your father, or even Cale himself.

Please be careful, and watch out for Caden. I tried to train him in our ways as best as I could without having to reveal everything. I think he will be ready for whatever comes your way, whether that’s in the Otherworld or in Neospes. How I wish I could have been there with you, to protect and fight with both of you, but everything happens for a reason, doesn’t it? You’re meant to be Caden’s protector now. He’s the future of everything. Don’t fail him, don’t fail us.

I know you won’t, because you don’t know how to fail.

One other last thing. I smile at the tone in her voice, watching her eyes rolling and the sideways smile that was unique to her. You’re probably going to learn some troubling truths about yourself. But you know who you are, Riven. You’ve always known who you are. Don’t let that change you. You’re strong. Stronger than I could ever be. So don’t fight it; instead, accept it and take it for all the good things that make you so incredibly unique.

Love you, Riv; don’t ever forget that. Wind at your back, my sister.

The voice spins into silence, and the hologram grows fuzzy and then disappears. But I don’t need it to hear her words that are replaying over and over in my head. What did she mean that Caden was the future of everything? It sounded so ominous. There’s so much I don’t understand, and it’s not that I don’t trust Cale. I trust him with my life. He hasn’t lied to me – he has been sick. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. He sent for Caden because he thought he needed replacement organs, and my mission had been of the utmost secrecy because of Cale’s mistrust of Murek and my father.

A soft knock on the door jerks me out of my chaotic thoughts.

“Who is it?”

“It’s Aurela.” I eject and throw the drive into the pack, sweeping a hand through my hair and tucking the freshly shorn strands behind my ear self-consciously. Maybe she won’t notice.

“Come in,” I say. “I’ll be done in a sec.”

She has changed into a gilded blue tunic and wide skirt. She looks feminine and delicate, two things that I can never seem to master. I’m no spring flower, that’s for sure, but then looks have never mattered to me. Survival has. Sighing, I smooth my plain tunic and leggings, and sit to pull on a worn pair of combat boots before standing to face my mother.

She smiles gently, her eyes landing with the touch of a butterfly on the side of my head where the braid had been, but doesn’t say anything. Instead, she just nods. I can feel her approval, and for some reason, it warms me.

“I’m sure you have questions,” she says. “Ones that Sauer or I didn’t answer earlier. I want you to be prepared before you go into that room.”

She’s talking about the room where all the other Sector heads – the ones who had been watching my performance earlier – are waiting.

“She told me to find you, you know,” I say softly. “Shae.”

“Yes, I know.”

“She knew about me.” It’s not a question, but Aurela nods, her eyes compassionate. For a long second, we stare at each other. Shae would have looked just like her the older she got, with the same features… the same eyes. There is grace in Aurela’s shoulders, but there’s hard strength, too. I swallow. She’s at the head of this whole revolution, this whole coup against the Neospes monarchy. She’s more than strong. I realize the core of steel I’m seeing in her is the very same core in myself that men have grown to fear here in Neospes. I’m more like her than I care to admit.

Distracting my thoughts, I grab ahold of the black and gold wrap lying on a chest and tug it over my shoulders. Dress golds. It’s a plain shift with a high collar and shiny black buttons, one of the more formal items of clothing usually reserved for award ceremonies or funerals. I smile at the irony. We aren’t exactly going to either.

“Are you going to war against the monarchy?” I ask, deftly fastening the over-garment’s ties around my waist. The soft material drapes nearly to mid-thigh.

Aurela shoots a glacial smile in my direction. “It’s complicated, Riven. War isn’t the answer for anyone. But what Murek is planning will undermine everything we have built, not just in Neospes, but also in the Otherworld.”

“What exactly is he planning?”

“If my intelligence is correct, he’s building an army,” she says. “An army of Vectors to take to the Otherworld. Guardians have been assassinated. We believe that he means to make the people there into slaves and to control their vast resources. Water, to name one of the most important.”

“He who controls water controls the world,” I murmur. It’s an old Neospes saying. Water here is traded like gold. If Murek somehow manages to control the Otherworld’s resources, he would become more than a king; he’d be a god. “But even if he were able to create a bridge, we can’t survive in their world,” I blurt. “I mean, you and the others. Your immune systems are too different. You’d die.”

I flush, knowing that it was only because of my unique nature that I’d been able to survive, thrive even. Aurela stares at me, and for a second I see something like a flash of sympathy in her eyes.

“That’s where you come in,” she says softly. “The next phase. It’s why your father wants you so badly. You’re the only living person who has ever adapted to the nanobes.”

My words come out in a rush as I collapse back onto the bed. “He wants to clone me?”

“More specifically, replicate your DNA.”

My breath is coming in short bursts, but her words are no surprise to me. As much as I hate what I am, I know that she is right. I am the blueprint to universe domination, because the laws of natural selection do not apply to me. No wonder I stopped having any side effects in the Otherworld. My body – my nanoplasm – was forced to adapt once I stopped taking the pills.

“Aurela, I know Cale’s not involved in any of this. Shae” – I nearly gag on her name – “said that I shouldn’t trust him, but I do. I’d been at his side every day before I left to find Caden. He is dying. Murek killed his father, and his mother left to protect her other son.”

Aurela nods. “We will protect him if we can.” She pauses. “But Caden comes first. He is the true crown prince; do you understand that?”

“Yes.”

“Good, then let’s go, unless you have any more questions.” She stands and stares pointedly at me.

“Just one more question,” I say, but my eyes drop to the ground as a rush of warmth races across and down my back. “When you and father were paired together… did you ever feel anything for him?”

Aurela’s stare morphs into something pained. “Your father was very different when he was younger. He was smart and vibrant, and I admired him very much.” Her voice is at odds with the surge of painful emotion in her eyes. “We were friends as children and often played together. Our partnership was a natural progression of that.”

“But did you love him?” I blurt out, and feel the heat of a thousand suns on my neck.

“I loved you,” Aurela says gently. “And Shae.”

I understand her restraint. How can one ever love someone who is a monster? And inside, I’m just like him. He’s made sure of that.

Aurela moves to stand in front of me as if reading my thoughts and grasps my arms. “Your father was driven by a desire to prove himself. He had no room in his life for love. You have me in you too, and we are Artok. Our choices, our lives are based on love.”

“I’m not Artok,” I say automatically.

“But you are.”

I ignore the tender look on her face and the gentle fingers that slide against my cheek. I’ve never felt connected to my Artok roots. The Artok do things differently than most other people in Neospes. Although they believe in the inherent value of genetic preselection, they also believe that emotions like love are important in relationships. Maybe I felt the disconnect because my mother had left, and the only
love
I’d ever known was from a father whose sole goal was to make me a monster.

“Did you love Shae’s dad?”