The Alexandra Series (24 page)

I wondered if Reggie had prompted her to make these remarks to me, or was she just cunning by nature? I didn’t think Reggie would be that devious.

I couldn’t compete with her sophistication or her worldly beauty or charm or sparkling eyes or anything about her. As she stayed on with one day running into the next, I became more irritable. Especially since I wanted to continue with my training. I wanted more of what I’d had that wonderful night, but most of all, I wanted Reggie. Soon my irritation showed. I snapped at Ann during breakfast, and at Heidi when we were by the pool.

At dinner on the fifth day of her stay, I was unexpectedly placed at Reggie’s left across the table from the conniving Sophie. She talked of France and of house parties she’d hosted with Reggie, and of their mutual friends whose names were familiar because of their fame. The more she prattled on, the more I burned. Envy. Jealousy. Anger. Rather than be obvious, I withdrew into a stony silence. When I could be silent no longer, I spoke sharply.

“You’re rather proud of your exploits, aren’t you?”

“Well, I’ve had my moments,” she gushed, unaware of the edge in my voice.

“Hum. I’d think that a woman of your charm and beauty wouldn’t have to scour two continents of country houses for men. I’d think that you would have them flocking to your door in the South of France.” I punctuated
South of France
with blatant sarcasm that she surely wouldn’t miss.

Ann and Heidi giggled under their breaths. Sophie seethed beneath her elegance. Exactly what I wanted. Reggie glared at me.

“Good!”
I thought silently. I was rather proud of myself for speaking up. I knew I was creating a scene, it was what I wanted, a confrontation with Reggie, but I stopped short, lest Reggie’s annoyance turn to real anger. He must have been delighted that she’d upset me, but he wouldn’t allow me to go too far.

After dinner, there was conversation in the library but I was in no mood to be polite, so I left to stroll around the terrace, stewing in my misery.

“What the hell’s going on with you?” Though his voice wasn’t particularly harsh, it cut through the night air and my gloom. When I turned to face him, I could hardly see his features for the light that shone behind him from the house. He was glowing. For the first time since the night with Will, I felt energy between us, I felt it coming from him toward me as strongly as it ever had.

“Alexandra?” he demanded, “I want an answer.” Still not angry, just in need of an answer.

I stewed for a moment, then blurted out the truth. “I’m jealous. Green with envy, angry, pissed off, totally irrationally womanly out of control jealous. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“What the hell do you have to be jealous of?” He sounded genuinely surprised.

Could he be that dense?

“Sophie?” he whispered, as he drew a bit closer.

“You dote over her as a lover. I’ve no reason to be jealous, no right, but I am. I can’t help it.”

“Interesting,” he laughed. He laughed deep and long. “Some things I plan, some just happen.” He shook his head in amazement.

“Well, I’m glad my jealousy is so amusing, at least I’ve given you something to laugh about.” I turned my back on him like a petulant child, aware that I was creating this drama; though I wasn’t about to stop.

“Sophie gushes,” he started. “She’s a vain, impetuous woman and I love to play with her, but I tire of her easily. For all her amorous charms, she’s an uninventive fuck and I gave up common prodding years ago.” He was behind me, turning me around to face him, smiling as he did. Any distance between us had been bridged by his genuine amusement.

“Now, that is more of an explanation than you deserve. Do you feel better?” He sounded like a reassuring parent.

I was embarrassed, embarrassed by my jealousy and even more for allowing my feelings for him to be so obvious. I realized that our game was coming to an end, and I couldn’t let that happen, not yet.

“You know what I want, and I don’t plan to leave until I have it,” I said with renewed arrogance.

My words created exactly what I wanted. The coldness of the master returned. My body heat began to rise, and I knew his was rising with mine. His smile changed to a sneer. “You haven’t paid the price to have what you want, when you do, then, only then, you might get what you want.”

I relished his every word, knowing that our drama would continue. I didn’t even care to think about the path he’d take, I only cared that he still wanted to guide me.

He added one parting comment: “Just remember, Alex, it’s as important that you desire your sexual awakening as much as you seem to desire me.”

“Of course,” I said glibly, wondering why he’d even think to mention that.

Chapter Twenty-four

“Go into the bar, Alex. Sit down and wait, and look your most provocative. Deliberately stare at their crotches or into their eyes. I want them to notice you.” I shuddered at his instructions, just as I shuddered when the drama began again.

It was the afternoon of Sophie’s departure. I was so glad that she was gone that when Reggie dressed me in a simple camisole and skirt I would have agreed to do anything. We sped off in the yellow Porsche, heading toward town. The feeling was glorious, the speed of the sports car feeding my warm pulsing crotch. There were so few times I was alone with Reggie, I could hardly contain my excitement.

Flashing neon greeted me at the door as I entered the bar. A familiar sight to me now, and hardly cause for much concern. There was music, low and jazzy, and dancing on the small polished dance floor, and enough patrons to keep me from standing out. I gazed around at the polished bar and the wooden stools and the lounging men waiting for a woman to strike their fancy. It seemed as good as any place to practice conquering my fears. I was happy to see that the fear that had once gripped me in such circumstances was only a shadow of its former self.

As I swung my ass onto the tall bar stool, my skirt rose up high on my thigh. High enough for my bare crotch to caress the leather seat. To look alluring required a casual easy attitude, bedroom eyes and moistened lips. I licked them as my eyes caught the gaze of a man at the end of the bar. He was tall and lean and a little bit wild looking, rough around the edges. He gave off a confident vibe – not out to prove a thing.

We made eye contact several times, and then I smiled demurely, just before I turned and looked the other way.

Next thing I knew, he was at my back, tapping me on the shoulder.

“Let’s dance,” he said. I smiled demurely as I looked him in the eye, then followed him out to the dance floor.

Several fast dances got me warmed up, then during a slow one he reached around and grabbed my butt, and pushed it into his groin. I murmured a little to let him know I liked that. I liked the feel of him, his hands, the smell of this breath, and the earthy scent that reminded me a bit of Gus – though he was not like Gus in any other way.

“I’m Henry,” he finally introduced himself.

“Hi Henry, I’m Alex.”

“So, Alex, how good a time are you looking for tonight?”

I shrugged. “Just wanted to meet a man who intrigues me.” This all seemed very easy. Shivers ran the full length of my body as we touched. And he wasn’t about to stop. We must have danced for at least an hour without stopping, the seduction moving rapidly forward. He started to kiss me, on the lips first then down my neck. My body tingled with want. His cock was rock hard. I could imagine myself screwing him all night. He stroked the sensitive flesh at the base of my ass, and fondled me there, realizing that I wore no panties, just the usual garter belt and nylons Reggie demanded. I sensed the others in the bar watching the slow seduction and I hardly cared. I certainly didn’t flinch, and there wasn’t even a trace of panic attempting to thwart my plans.

Any minute I expected Henry to suggest we leave for elsewhere, though I wasn’t sure this was what Reggie had in mind.

“You fucking slut!” I heard the words first, then the burning in my arm as Reggie pulled me away from Henry’s close embrace. When my blue-eyed master slapped my face, I staggered back free of both men.

“Get your fucking hands off of her!” Henry came to my defense.

Reggie didn’t budge. Though he’d stuffed his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.

“Get in the car,” he ordered.

I stood frozen, too bewildered to move.

“Alex,” Henry sounded like another Reggie. “I don’t know who you are, but Alex is with me tonight.”

“Get in the car,” Reggie said again, evenly. “You’ve got a hell of a lot to answer for.”

I looked from one to the other, then quickly retreated to the table and grabbed my purse. Dashing to the door, I cast a hasty but well-intentioned apology in Henry’s direction.

“What the fuck,” was his astonished reply, and the last thing I heard as I walked out.

Once on the street, I stopped to catch my breath, leaning back against the brick façade, letting the clear night air cool my emotions and the raging burning in my sex. I couldn’t guess Reggie’s motives, so I waited passively for him, sure that he would enlighten me when he finally came through the door.

He was laughing as he emerged, grabbing me by the hand. “C’mon, let’s go.” He opened the door of the Porsche to let me inside, then climbed in himself, and we roared off, Reggie chuckling to himself.

“You were magnificent,” he finally said.

“What?”

“It was a damned cruel joke, but you won, and won well.”

“I won? What?”

“You beat your paper dragon.”

“Forgive me, Reggie, but I really don’t understand.” The car was dashing madly toward some unknown destination, so was our conversation. He set me up to attract a man, and then when I did, he slapped us down. Obviously, he wasn’t really angry, quite the opposite.

“Don’t you realize what you’ve done?” he asked, amazed. We pulled into the drive-in line of a fast food restaurant.

“I’m not sure.”

He laughed again, almost exasperated. He ran his hand though his blond hair and sighed. “You didn’t panic tonight. You hardly flinched. And you enjoyed every moment. You’re fast becoming exactly what you want to be.”

I took a deep breath trying to absorb his words. He seemed more friend than master, and that seemed strange. It wasn’t right. Our drama was crumbling around me and that was frightening.

Reggie ordered for us at the drive-up window and we took the burgers to a park. He’d thrown a coat over my skimpy clothes and we ate sitting side by side on a park bench, as easy as two teenagers out for a snack. It was odd to be with him in an atmosphere completely opposite from the elegant suppers we had been sharing for the past weeks. But as nice as the idea was, I couldn’t stop the feelings of anxiety that were crowding into me.

“Alex, you realize, you don’t need me anymore,” he finally spoke as he finished off his burger and threw the papers into the trash.

I’m sure he meant it as a positive, but his words were daggers going straight for my aching heart. We were really over? Over without the piece I most desired?

“But I want you.” I must have sounded as if I was begging – and I really didn’t care.

He quickly turned serious.

“And I want you, too, but it’s not a simple thing for me. There’s a darkness in me that burns to have you. You want to make love; I want to torture you, punish you, to fuck you as a beast before I ever make love to you. It’s either all or nothing, and frankly, I’m afraid to even start, afraid it might rip us both apart.”

I wasn’t really sure what he meant by all that, but I could feel my body react with desire and my pussy growing damp with the thought of everything he’d said.

“But isn’t that what you’ve been doing? Venting all that darkness.”

“I’ve not forced myself on you. I’ve forced you on others. I’ve given you what you wanted, I’ve helped you create what you’ve wanted to create. But how much have I taken for myself?”

He was right. Not once had he indicated in any way that he’d been sexually fulfilled by my submission to him. He didn’t use me himself. I could only guess that he took his pleasure privately. I’d begun to wonder if he ever fucked at all.

“I do want you, Alex. But you have to accept my terms. You’ll have me unrestrained and I’ll be there for
me,
not you. Giving yourself to pleasure me, you must give unconditionally and without hesitation. You will submit – I won’t have it any other way. Don’t go eagerly accepting my offer because in your fantasies you see some romantic finale for us. I don’t see that outcome at all. I’d think long and hard before you agree to anything.”

I knew that I’d moved beyond the awakening innocent that had arrived at his doorstep some weeks before. We were equals, and he was defining our roles and I had to choose. I knew what choice I’d make; there wasn’t any doubt in my mind despite his caution. Yet giving myself over to Reggie’s desires, to all the pieces of his complex manhood was the scariest scenario I’d face. He was right. I’d go beyond my own created fantasies and enter into the world of
his
fantasy. It was a different kind of ‘out of control’. I’d no longer be in charge. I had to remember how terribly angry I’d become when our sex games first began. The balking. The hesitation. The endless confusion. Would that happen again? I would think about it, of course I would, but I knew what I had to do, and I think Reggie did too. I couldn’t stop myself.