The Alexandra Series (19 page)

“But isn’t that exactly what your fantasies are made of…scenes of public depravity…graphic demonstrations of your darkest desires? Isn’t that you?”

“No, it’s not me!” I shook my head.

“No?” I knew I’d said the wrong thing, but there was no way to take it back. “Where’s the honesty behind that? Perhaps you’d like to tell my guests what you did with Gus and my stablemen last week?”

I was starting to cry. “Please, Reggie, don’t make me do this.” I gazed at Will and got nothing but his steely eyed stare.

“Don’t look at him. Will’s not going to help you through this, nor are your tears. You’re much better than that. It’s time to be honest with yourself, accept the truth you endlessly dicker about. It’s all over your journal, page after page of denials, excuses and then startling peeks at the honest truth – about what really happened for you in the woods, inside the cabin, over the tree stump, in the dirt with Gus.”

I shook my head and stared down to my lap unable to look at him anymore.

“You think I’m being cruel?” he asked.

My head shot up, “Yes, yes, I do!”

“This is how I shove, how I push. Don’t think I don’t know what’s inside you. Buried deep there’s an Alexandra who is feasting on the attention I’m giving you now. But since admitting who you are is still so very difficult, I’m going to give you a choice tonight. You either give my friends a full accounting of your exploits at the shack, or get up and dance for us all. I leave the decision in your hands.”

I looked at him shocked.

“No denials, Alexandra. I want the plain and honest truth of you, either way.”

My mind spun. In either case, what he required of me was entirely beyond my ability to perform; either choice seemed repugnant and undoable. I waited while the room waited for me, while Reggie stared me down and I stared back. At last I stood, fully intending to flee the room and the house altogether. If Will hadn’t been the one standing by the door, I might have. But his presence there made me hesitate a moment too long, enough for music to begin to play, a mellow sax and a deep-throated blues singer. I could feel the conflict in me rising to a screaming peak as I mulled his choice, and my body absorbed the sensuous, soul-filled sounds. The bluesy notes hung out in the ethers like a languid lover urging me into sex, and soon there was no decision at all. The sound had climbed inside me and wasn’t about to leave. My hips began to move and the tension in my shoulders eased. The lights in the room dimmed, and with my lids half closed those surrounding me became nothing but shadows. I realized then that there was just one light burning, one above my head, aimed like a spotlight – that didn’t bother me at all. The slow dance continued as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and felt a wave of eroticism passing through. My mind and body still warred within – urging me to rush right out the door – but my limbs, and hips and swaying torso told a different story.

Behind both strong urges, there was anger, but there was also a recognition of the truth.
Why, why was he making me do this?

But why not?

I hated Reggie for dressing me down in public, for forcing me to show myself to the critical eyes of so many, for demanding that I expose my private passions in this very public arena.

But still I danced – even with the anger brewing, I danced. My hips moved, and my arms soon joined in, and the eyes of those focused on me turned lights on inside my body. The sexual heat inside rapidly crescendoed.

I began to sweat. Yes, I enjoyed the exposure but I enjoyed my anger just as much. With each deep breath slowly expelled, I became more engrossed in the slutty dance, buoyed by the encouraging audience.

Suddenly there were a pair of male hands behind me lowering the zipper of my bustier. My breasts swung free and I felt a rush of pure sexual joy. The fire in me grew brighter, my desire clearly focused. I would give Reggie exactly what he asked for – the most erotic masterpiece of a dance he could imagine. Channeling my anger toward that purpose, when the zipper of my skirt was lowered and the garment slipped to my feet, I boldly stepped out and continued to dance, immersed in the movement, the music, the erotic heat building all around me. I sensed that any minute the entire room would descend into a groveling orgy of bodies, taking a cue from my lust and acting on their own. The sex that would follow would be wild and natural and unrestrained. I waited for Reggie’s command, for his permission to move beyond the dance and soon enough his voice rang out again.

“On your knees, Alexandra!”

And there I was, on my knees.

“Heidi, shove this in her cunt and see what it can do.” He handed the woman a long, thick, flexible dildo.

“Hmm, my pleasure,” she purred as if she had something evil already in mind.

She moved to the floor beside me and began to work the vibrating device over my body, from my dangling breasts and sensitive nipples to my swaying ass end. Finally reaching my pussy, she opened my labia with one hand and let the dildo rest for a moment on my clit, until I finally had to shake it off, panting and gasping for a moment’s reprieve.
This was too much, too much!
I looked up to see the delightful scowl on her face as she suddenly shoved the thing into my cunt. Wet now, my juices lubricated its advance, and I took the full length of it in that one determined shove. Heidi drilled it into me hard and fast, like a woman inspired. Seconds later, there was a cock at my lips, forcing its way into my mouth. Though I balked at first, something in me kicked into a new gear, and backed by the determination to see this through, I let the man use my mouth as he would my cunt.
I’ll show the bastard!
I vowed as I worked hard to satisfy Reggie’s male guest and the odious Heidi.

I thought I might actually come, given a little time, but then both abruptly backed off, and I felt cool leather clamped around my wrists and ankles. I knew instantly where Reggie was taking me. A sudden wave of fear grabbed me in the gut, suspending my raunchy performance. My body tightened, doing an about face from its previous fervor.

“Relax, Alex.” Reggie’s voice was at my ear. “You’ll get through this and love it.” He was so sure, but I was not.

“No, please!” I shook my head back and forth, while four men spread my body open face up on Reggie’s massive coffee table. The cuffs were attached to the table legs, left loose enough to allow some movement. As the first clamps came down on my nipples, I cringed with the pain shooting down my body to my crotch in ways both foreign and strangely pleasing.

“Oh, please no,” I cried again. The next clamps were fixed to the larger fleshy folds of my cunt, and they intensified what was already crashing inside me. “Oh please,” I pleaded. They turned me on my side and spanked my rear, then fondled it roughly, then worked my underarms and toes with teeth and lips and tongues. I couldn’t bear so much sensation. I groaned and cried and groaned some more, but they refused to stop. All the while, I heard Reggie’s voice urging me to let go. But my body refused. It tensed with each rude crack against my rear, with each pinch and nibble and rough kneading caress. I was angry, crying, venting my distress – for all the good it would do.

What must have been just minutes seemed like an eternity, and finally, at last, thank God, someone began to manipulate my cunt. Pleasure burst from me and I began to come almost instantly. They backed away from the slapping, they removed the clamps, and massaged my flesh, allowing my orgasm to build and recede and build again. Intense. Driven. Filled with torment and desire. My orgasmic cries rose into the steamy air, groans of pleasure issued forth. I was delirious, on some kind of heavenly high. But still a part of me was holding back. It wasn’t clear to me if I was doing this for myself or to prove a point with Reggie.

Once I was finally spent, the room descended into the orgy I expected, with each guest treated to the pleasure they desired, though none suffered the anguish I was forced to endure. I lay back on the coffee table exhausted, seeing bodies groveling around me, hearing cries of passion from all over the room. I found my resentment building over the rude prescription that Reggie had ordered for me. In spite of the pleasure I’d enjoyed, my rage surfaced again and I had no desire to participate in pleasuring anyone else, despite the fact that the cuffs had been removed. I held back from them uncertain of what to do.

I don’t recall how many minutes passed before I heard Reggie again, over the muted voiced of the others. “Alexandra, stand!” Unlike his guests he was still fully clothed. In fact, I didn’t remember seeing him after the clamps had been placed on me. He’d probably not even been there when I came, I thought bitterly.

Reluctantly I stood, although my nakedness was no longer uncomfortable to me in the presence of the naked guests.

“Halfway is not enough,” he said, his fixed gaze was on me and I could do nothing but tremble, realizing that once again I’d not been enough to suit him.

“Halfway?”

“You must please the others, didn’t they you please you?”

“Of course they did.” My anger showed.

There was a strange smirk on his face.

“The war is still going on, Alexandra. But trust me, it
will
end.” His voice resonated a resolve that held not only me but the whole room captive.

I shuddered anew. I couldn’t stay in that room a moment longer. Frantically grabbing for my clothes, I ran toward the exit door.

Thankfully, he didn’t try to stop me. We both knew the night had ended, not because I ran but because he was finished with me.

Chapter Nineteen

Reggie had laid out a long red gown for me to wear, but I returned it to the closet and pulled out a short, strapless green one I preferred instead. It was much more revealing. Slutty, I think his words were when he showed it to me the first time. I hadn’t worn it yet, and was itching to see what kind of reaction I’d get – mostly from Reggie.
But for a formal dinner?

I’d been setting up my own little drama since the night he dared to humiliate me in front of his crowd of friends. Little pieces of the scene I planned had been falling into place for several days, while Reggie virtually ignored me. I was hardly conscious of what I was doing, but I knew that on the next available occasion, I’d come up with something decidedly outrageous.

I made my plans while lying in the warm sun by the pool, a perfect time to let my mind roam free.

“Well, Alex,” Heidi gushed, as she approached me one afternoon, “how delightful it is to see you.” Mockery oozed from every bronze pore.

“It’s good to see you too, Heidi.” I smiled. I detested her, but had learned to skillfully manage myself around the woman.

She sat on the lounge beside me. “So, now that you have Reggie thoroughly smitten with you, what is your next aspiration?”

“Smitten?” I nearly laughed. I hardly considered his treatment of me a sign that he was smitten.

“No, I suppose you’re not aware how much he’s taken with you. I sometimes think he’d give up all of this just to have you.”

“I don’t understand, he hasn’t given me any reason to believe that I’m any more than an occupation.”

“Oh, my god!” she retorted. “You’re blind if you can’t see the place you’ve carved within him. And if I sound spiteful, it’s because I’m not there.” Finished with what she had to say, she got up and sashayed away. If nothing else she’d aroused me with her resentfulness; apparently she was privy to knowledge about Reggie’s feelings that I knew nothing about. I pursued it further with Ann.

“What’s the matter with her?” I asked the bubbly brunette who was sitting on the other side of me reading a book.

“Jealousy. She’s jealous of any woman Reggie has, and you can imagine that makes her jealous most of her life.”

“But I thought, I mean I assumed that both you and she have been with him.”

“You assume too much. You probably think he has had a long string of women, hundreds?”

“Well yes.”

“That’s far from the truth,” she explained. “He plays with many, but few find their way into his bed.”

“Well I haven’t gotten that far. But all this, this place, the way he brings people together—”

“That’s his passion, to explore sensuality any way he can.”

“Well, isn’t Heidi here hoping that someday she’ll make it to his bed?”

“Heidi had her chance.”

“Really?”

Ann contemplated her response carefully, as if she wasn’t exactly sure how much she should divulge. “She’s his ex-wife.”

“What!”

“They were married to each other about eight years ago.”

“You’re kidding!”

“Nope.”

“I’m shocked.”

She laughed. I loved her laugh, it was so full of joy, so warm and effervescent. “For all the outrageous things Reggie orchestrates, all the little dramas, he’s really quite stodgy. He got her pregnant when she was still a teenager, married her, but she had a miscarriage and the marriage was quickly annulled.”

Ann let this little gem sink in for a moment. I could scarcely believe what I was hearing.

“The truth is, Heidi has wanted Reggie back ever since. He’s always doted on her, taken care of her, encouraged her sexuality—all part of his strange sense of chivalry. Bottom line, he felt guilty for getting her pregnant. I think he was privately happy for them both when things didn’t work out—since he really didn’t see much happiness with her. And a child? Neither could have handled that. It may be speculation, but I think I’m right on this one.”