The Album: Book One (10 page)

Zacherie

“Non, je ne regrette rien!”

~Edith Piaf

2002-12-15
New York City
Operation Eggnog
1900 hours

T
HE MISSION IS SIMPLE:
retreat into the darkness, then attack.

My extensive training back at Camp Lejeune prepared me for every type of combat, but what my training officer failed to mention is how difficult it would be to keep quiet and focused on my very first mission. I’m anxious and a little nervous, but I’m also smiling like a dumbass.

I shiver in the corner, trying to perfect a realistic smoke stack with my hot breath, and think about my training officer – good ol’ Captain Blowhole. He was always yelling at me for being too tall and goofy and relied heavily on nonsensical name-calling like:
sausage gobbler
,
pencil dick
,
fanny fucker
and my personal favorite,
homo-retard
. How could I not laugh? But I bet that pompous prick would be impressed with the stealth-like tactics I pulled off tonight. Sneaking in here without being detected by any guards or civilians – maybe Lt. Pussy Parker would be more of an asset doing covert operations instead of reorganizing the unit’s pharmaceutical distribution like a Navy geek.

Operation Freedom is an entirely separate war from
my
fucking assignment – I like to call it: The War on Drug Dispensing. I’ll be stuck in Kabul at Camp Hammond for another six weeks taking inventory, labeling, administering placebos, implementing a complete computer overhaul and wearing a fucking lab coat – exactly like the one I vowed never to wear again. Eventually I will be moved to Tora Bora to defend the Afghani mountainfolk from those Taliban fuckers (which I hear entails a lot of goat-herding.) But being part of the Marines, no matter what my task, is an honor and a job I take very seriously.

Shit. Someone’s coming.

I bunker down among the shadowy confines of silence and control my rapid breathing. Adrenaline is such an intense rush, but I’ve waited too long for this precise moment to screw it up now.
Keep quiet
.
Be still
.
And
don’t knock over the stack of DVDs
.

Booted footsteps tap against the wood floor.

A key jiggles in the door.

The door swings open as she stumbles into the apartment with a raspy cough. Her foul mouth ejects her go-to sentiments, rousing my attention and forcing me to swallow back my laughter.

“Fucking shit. Fucking cold,” she mumbles.

I rise from the corner, excited that my target will be easy to overtake. She punches the light switch and a string of white Christmas lights dangling from the mantle twinkle in my periphery. I smile, comforted by how warm she makes me feel.

I reach out my arms and calmly say, “Hey, Natalie.”

Before I can give her the embrace I’ve been dreaming of, her large purse swats me in the head. And in the arm. And damn, she’s a lot stronger than I thought. She squeezes her eyes closed as she digs inside her bag, her hands trembling, her cough taking over her body like a spastic maniac and her legs firmly planted in some sort of girly defensive stance.

“Ma femme, put down the weapons.” I hold my hands up to surrender (I
am
half-French after all) and she instantly opens her gorgeous blue eyes. That suspended moment of recognition and longing is better than any television drama because a) she’s fucking hot, and b) she’s
my
fucking hot piece of ass.

Tears cascade down her rosy cheeks from what I hope is a sign of happiness – or maybe she’s pissed I surprised her like that? Thankfully, she drops her bag and throws herself at me. I hold her tightly, bringing her legs around my waist to spin around the foyer of my former apartment, knocking over a few picture frames and an empty wine bottle.

“Motherfucker! You scared the shit out of me – I was prepared to chop off your balls with my nail clippers,” she says in a deep, dry voice. Natalie coughs into my shoulder as I caress her back. She feels so warm and natural in my arms that my temporary leave may result in permanent desertion.

“What’s with the cough, Nat – are you smoking again?” I ask as I lower her legs to the ground.

“I don’t smoke! It’s called a cold, ya jerk. Besides, my voice is,” cough, hack, “Super sexy, n’est ce pas?”

“Mmm, very,” I say while rubbing her perky round ass and moving us toward the bedroom. I have exactly forty-four hours before I report back to duty and I plan to spend most of that time screwing her brains out – and possibly a quick stop at Virgil’s for some brisket. That’s all I need for the rest of my life – Natalie, Virgil’s, the Giants and beer. Shit, I also need my Playstation 2 and the
Die Hard
movies, and
then
I’m golden for the rest of my life.

Natalie painfully coughs into my armpit, and although I know it’s nothing serious, she’s making me uncomfortable. Lately, sickness (even the tiniest of sniffles) threatens my rational thinking to the point where I become an obsessive idiot.

“I’m so sorry Zach. I look and feel horrible,” she says in a dry whisper. I kiss her forehead and squeeze her tightly.

When we reach the bedroom, I gently move her toward an iron bed – damn, that would have been fun to explore with some light bondage – I sit her down and lower to my knees. She blinks slowly with red, swollen eyes, but there’s also a glimmer of lustful sexuality. Typical Natalie, always the tease – even with phlegm and irritated nostrils. That’s it, it’s decided – I need to take care of her so she can take
care
of me.

I remove her boots and ugly wool socks and help her into her flannel pajamas. “Natalie, why is it so cold in here?” I ask as I lay her down and place the comforter over her weary body.

Cough, hack, choke. “I don’t know how to work the thingy,” she whines. Jesus, she’s been going to bed in the cold every night because she’s too stubborn to ask anyone about the thermostat – tenacious seductress, that’s what she is.

“What am I going to do with you?”

“Don’t leave me,” she whispers.

I lean over to kiss her cheek but her arms wrap around my neck so tightly that I lose my balance and land on her delicate chest. She flinches in pain and pushes me off. “Nat, let me get you some medicine. I’m going to Duane Reade – I’ll be back in twenty minutes.” I take her hands and place them by her side. She closes her eyes and snuggles with the top layer of the bedding.

“Zach, I need some pistachio ice cream. And your cock.” She smiles without opening her eyes and giggles.

2300 hours

Natalie is snoring loudly in my arms. After I fed her two bowls of ice cream alongside my special blend of Vitamins B, C and Nyquil, we cuddled on the couch to watch
A Christmas Story.
She barely made it to the
Fra-gi-lee
scene before her eyes closed and she was drooling on my neck. Fuck – it’s going to be impossible to leave her.

I turn off the television and carefully stand without waking her. She looks miserable on the small sofa, so I scoop her into my arms and carry her to the bedroom. Natalie’s eyes flutter open and a sly smile invades her peaceful face.

“You’re so strong,” she purrs.

“You’re so beautiful,” I respond.

I place her on her feet and rest my hand on her cheek. It’s not as flushed as before and she hasn’t coughed in over an hour. She moves her hands to my wrist and peels my palm off her flesh, taking her time to kiss the inside crease of my thumb. Her supple lips glide along each of my fingers until she lingers on the middle one, sucking it slowly . . . “Natalie, I—”

“Shh . . .” she whispers as she moves her hands to my chest.

Natalie lifts my t-shirt over my head and tosses it to the floor. She kisses my chest, licks my nipples and bites my ribs, making me shrill like a ticklish little girl. I unbutton her pajama top (the one with the tiny bulldogs) and run my hands underneath the warm flannel to massage her tits. Fuck – I love her nipples. Women think that men love boobs no matter what, like we get horny just by the cover of National Geographic or paintings of naked women, but perfect tits? Natalie broke the mold.

I run my finger over her hard nipples while raising my eyebrows like Groucho Marx. She smiles devilishly and reciprocates. We’re both rubbing and tweaking each other’s nipples like blind people discovering a new object. “Ow, shit that hurts, Nat,” I say, pinching as hard as I can. She’s so fucking feisty and I love it.

A police siren wails on the street below, reminding me that time is in fact
real
outside this room. But I will never get enough of her and it’s my job to make sure that inside this room, time doesn’t exist.

I lower my sweatpants in one swift tug to reveal the giant impact her naked body has on me – Nat salutes my crotch and curtsies. “Stand down, soldier,” she teases.

I use my dick to trace the outline of her panties. “I’m a Marine, not a soldier,” I say while taking a fistful of her hair in my other hand and yanking it gently. She exhales in pleasure and mumbles something inaudible. “Shh,” I say. I press firmly against her, creating a rush of warmness that saturates my tip. I slowly drop to my knees, kissing every inch of her body on my way down. My tongue skims the outside of her panties, trailing along the contour of her delicate pink lips. I squeeze her hips and then with one quick tug, I rip them off – sexy, red lace, an image that will be stored in my spank bank for future use.

“Oh, Zach,” she moans as my tongue glides between her thighs, devouring every drop of sweetness. Her body trembles – but I’ve never made her come this quickly! She shudders again, so I glance up to find her laughing hysterically. Sometimes cold medicine can make a person delirious, but she’s clearly amused by something. I pinch the little leaf tattoo on her hip and gently bite her stomach. She snorts so loudly that I’m forced to stand to confront her awkward outburst.

“What the hell, Nat?” I ask sweetly.

“I’m so sorry! I was thinking about when Ralphie gets his decoder pen . . . ‘A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch.’ That part cracks me up every time – and it reminds me of the time Chloe and I saved like a million Coke tabs to send away for neon pink legwarmers – we each got
one
.” Natalie’s tits bounce in excitement, and if I don’t shut her up now, she will continue with another thirty minutes of random conversation.

“Shut up, Nat.” I say with authority. I’m a goddamn officer in the United States Marine Corps and it’s time to fuck my woman. I kiss her delicately, my tongue tracing the corner of her mouth. She tastes like peppermint and citrus and I want to consume her completely. My arms tighten around her waist, forcing her hard nipples to scrape against my chest. I grab her ass and squeeze with as much force as I know she can handle. My cock rubs against her thighs – and it’s that one little gesture of intimate contact that takes our relationship from friends to fuckers in about two seconds.

She kisses me back and grabs onto to my shoulders for support. I lift her onto my hips and move her against the wall. Her legs fold around me as she arches her back and moans. Natalie
likes
to be taken . . . most strong women do.

“Oh, Zach. This is so much better than chat room sex,” she says between short breaths. Her tongue moves up and down my neck as her hands clench my shoulders. I place one hand behind the small of her back and the other above her head for support. Natalie tightens her legs around my waist and uses all her muscles to slide around my shaft. God, she feels warm and amazing and with each thrust she molds around my flesh. Her delicate movement coupled with my steady impalement is – just – enough – to – fucking
oorah
!

“Oh shit, Nat, oh yes, ah, uh . . . uh,” I groan.

“Tell me how you really feel, Lieutenant.” She smirks.

Holy shit, I know how I feel but I want her to taste it. I lower her legs to the floor and stroke her beautiful face. After a quick glance at my glistening shaft, she smiles eagerly, acknowledging my silent request.

“Kiss it.” I command as I push Nat down to her knees. Natalie goes all in, taking most of my length deep inside her mouth and doing that amazing tongue-flicking thing around the tip. I grab a fistful of her hair and pull her head back. Even with me inside her mouth, she’s smiling. I shake my head and smile back, my stupid crooked grin she loves so much. I get it – beneath the playful, hot sex, we’re best friends.

“I like Santa,” I say in my creepiest-aviator-goggle-wearing-Tin Man-loving-scoffer voice.

Natalie stops her taste test and yanks my hips, causing me to stumble to the floor. She pushes me onto my back and climbs on top. I laugh wildly as she straddles me, moving my arms above my head and taking control. She leans down to lick my mouth and whispers, “Yeah.”

“I like The Wizard of Oz. I like the Tin Man,” I recite in a nasally tone as she moves faster and faster. I place my hands on her hips and bury myself inside her.

Natalie’s head falls back with a sexy smile as she inhales and exhales frantically. “Leave me alone . . . I’m-I’m-I’m-think – oh, ah, oh yes,” she deadpans.

So yeah, we just fucked over some quotes from an ’80s Christmas movie – and it was awesome.

2002-12-16
0800 hours

“Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques, dormez-vous, dormez-vous? Sonnez les matines—” Natalie swats her arm at me, but I dodge her blind attempt.