The Alaskan Rescue (15 page)

Sashi could see the dynamic in play here. His parents had never
blamed him for Luke’s death. Only Cole did, and he had yet to forgive himself.
That was why he’d stayed away.

Cole drew Sashi forward and looped an arm across her shoulders.
“Mom and Dad, I’d like you to meet Sashi Hansen. Sashi? My parents, Richard and
Lucy Stevens.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet both of you, as well.” She freed her
right hand from her crutches and held it out. Both Richard and Lucy grasped it
warmly. “I can’t tell you what a blessing it has been for me to meet Cole,”
Sashi said. “He saved my life.” Her eyes misted over.

Richard and then Lucy gave her a big hug. “That’s what he does,
my dear,” Lucy said with a wink. “But you’re the first woman our Cole has ever
brought home.”

Richard nodded. “We’re excited to meet you and get to know you.
We’d love to hear this story if you feel comfortable talking about it.”

Sashi nodded. “I’m happy to.”

“Mom and Dad, give the poor girl room to breathe. She can tell
you the story tonight at dinner.”

Richard jumped back in. “We understand you’re a dancer who
studied in New York. It’s hard to believe that a woman as beautiful and talented
as you came into Cole’s life out here in the wilds of Alaska, and we’re dying to
hear—”

Cole put his hand up. “Sashi is still recovering from some
serious injuries. She needs to rest and I really need a shower. Can we talk
about all this at dinner?”

“Of course,” Lucy said. “But at dinner, you two are fair
game.”

Sashi started to laugh. “You can ask away, Mrs. Stevens.”

“Oh, no, please call me Lucy. Now let’s get you to your rooms.
Cole said you both have your own room? Correct?”

Sashi nodded. She could tell Lucy was trying to figure out the
nature of their relationship. Her guess was as good as Sashi’s. It was too
complicated to think about right now. A shower and a nap sounded good.

“I’ll show you to your rooms.”

* * *

A
FTER
A
SUMPTUOUS
MEAL
of rack of lamb
with rosemary potatoes and a mixed green salad, Cole, Sashi and his parents
relaxed in the family room. Cole sat with Sashi in the crook of his arm, facing
his parents. The home had outdoor lighting, and they could see the snow falling
outside.

For the first time since Luke had died, Cole felt peaceful
being in this cozy atmosphere. “Mom and Dad, I need to talk to you.”

His father looked at him with love. “We’re all ears, Cole.”

Cole closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His hand shook as
he drew a letter from his pocket. He’d written it while he’d been sitting on the
boat looking for Freddy.

He gently removed his arm from around Sashi and leaned forward.
He looked his mother, then his father in the eye. “First, I want you to know
that Sashi is very important to me.”

Lucy smiled. “For you to bring her home, we assume she must
be.”

Cole’s eyes suddenly brimmed with tears. “Sashi has helped me
more than anyone could ever know. She thinks I saved
her
when she was injured some weeks ago, but really, she has saved
me.
” Cole glanced at Sashi, saw her
confusion.

“I want to read you a letter I’ve written to Luke.”

He could hear his mother’s sharp intake of breath. “What is
this about, sweetheart?” she asked.

“I’m finally in a place where I can forgive myself for Luke’s
death. And I hope
you
can forgive me for letting him
die on that mountain.” Cole’s heart was pounding as he said the words, but with
Sashi at his side, he had the courage to forgive himself and ask for his
parents’ forgiveness, too.”

He stood up when he saw his parents get up from the sofa they’d
been sitting on. Their eyes filled with tears, they crossed the room to embrace
him. “Son, we never held you responsible,” Richard said. “Not ever. Where did
you get that idea?”

“I blamed myself, so I believed you blamed me, too,” Cole
responded.

“Oh, darling—” Lucy cupped his face in her hands “—how did we
not see this before now? You’re our precious boy. We love you and were so
grateful that you lived. Maybe we got so caught up in mourning, we didn’t see
your pain. Will you forgive us for not knowing?”

She hugged him close. “What a terrible burden you’ve carried
all these years. We never ever blamed you, Cole. It was a terrible
accident.”

Sashi sat on the couch as a bystander, tears of joy and pain
streaming down her cheeks. How wonderful for Cole to finally be rid of the
burden. She was happy for him, although she felt awkward being present at such a
private family moment.

But then Lucy turned to her. “Thank you for bringing our son
back to us, Sashi.” Lucy bent down and hugged her. “Thank you for your
strength.”

Richard came over and kissed her on the cheek. “You’re both
strong,” he said. “You’ve given us a gift that is irreplaceable.” He sat down by
Cole, who resumed his position on the couch with Sashi.

Lucy sat on the ottoman right in front of Sashi and Cole. “I
want you to save that letter, Cole, and tell it to Luke. It’s private. Whatever
is in it is between you and him. We’ve let go of Luke years ago and moved on. He
still lives in our hearts, but it doesn’t hurt so much anymore. We want the same
for you.”

Sashi looked at Cole and could see a light in his tawny eyes.
She didn’t think he’d ever looked more beautiful than he did now. He seemed
completely happy and at rest.

Cole focused on her, and she could see the love in his eyes.
“Sashi, will you come up in a helicopter with me tomorrow so I can read my
letter to Luke at the place where he died, then shred it and throw it to the
wind?”

The thought of being in a helicopter made her a little nervous.
But she knew she’d do anything to help Cole heal. “Of course,” she said.

Chapter Ten

It was a beautiful sunny morning in the back country of
the Chugach Mountains. Jagged, snow-packed peaks soaring to heights of thirteen
thousand feet surrounded them. The small, piloted helicopter Cole had hired
carried them around chutes and crannies of the rugged terrain to their final
destination.

Sashi wore a parka that Cole’s mom had lent her. It was a
little big, but it was warm and that was all that mattered. She tapped Cole’s
shoulder and yelled, “I can’t believe you jumped out of a helicopter and skied
up here!”

His face lit up. “I
still
do
it.”

Sashi shook her head. “No, you don’t. I don’t think I could
handle that.” Her heart skittered all over the place. But then she realized he
didn’t belong to her, nor she to him.

“How about this—we’ll talk about it,” he responded.

The helicopter now hovered above a huge chute. “Is this where
you and Luke jumped?” It didn’t look humanly possible to even stay on the slope,
let alone ski down it.

“Yes!” He nodded. “Come closer so you can hear me. I want you
to know what the letter says.”

“Okay.”

Cole leaned over to help her get unbuckled and put her on his
lap.

The pilot of the helicopter gave Cole a three-minute warning
signal with his hand. Cole gave him a thumbs-up, pulled out the letter and began
to read.

Luke,

It’s been twenty years since I’ve been able to talk to you. You
were the best big brother a guy could ever have. I now realize you wouldn’t have
wanted me to blame myself for your death.

But I’m still so sorry for what happened. There isn’t a day
that goes by that I don’t miss you. I just want you to know I’m going to start
living my life now.

Thank you for showing your little brother all the love you
did. You were the best at everything and I’ve tried to live up to your
standards. I’ll always keep your memory alive in my heart.

I love you.

* * *

C
OLE
PUT
S
ASHI
DOWN
ON
her seat then began to tear up the letter. He
moved to the door of the helicopter, opened it and threw the bits of papers to
the wind. The relief and weight that vanished with the papers was obvious. He
looked like a new man.

The arctic air that filled the belly of the helicopter was like
a slap in the face for Sashi. She could see what forgiveness had done for Cole.
Now it was
her
turn. She really needed to heal on
the inside before she could be in a serious relationship with anyone.

Cole closed the door and sat back down in the seat next to
her.

“Ready for some lunch?” he asked.

She nodded.

* * *

C
OLE
HAD
GONE
TO
WORK
that afternoon
decorating the family’s yacht moored to the docks, into a floating palace of
lights. He’d wanted everything to be perfect tonight when he proposed to Sashi.
He’d even called her parents today.

They had given their consent if it was what Sashi wanted.
Everything was falling into place. Ridding himself of that burden had changed
his outlook. He was a different man. He had found the perfect woman and he was
not going to let her get away.

He’d left Sashi some money so she could buy a dress in town for
their special date tonight. With Jens as her driver, he knew she would be well
taken care of.

More than anything he couldn’t wait to see his diamond on her
finger. Cole patted the breast pocket of his jacket, double-checking to make
sure it was there. He and his dad had bought a ring today at the jeweler’s. Now
it sat in his pocket all ready to be placed on her finger. All he could do was
hope that she would like the ring and love the man who wanted to give it to
her.

The phone in his pocket rang. “Dr. Stevens,” he said.

“This is Jens, sir. We’ve arrived. Would you like me to escort
Miss Hansen in? Or would you like to come and get her?”

“I’ll be right out. And, Jens, thanks for your help today.”

“You’re most welcome, sir.”

* * *

S
ASHI
SAT
IN
THE
BACK
of the Cadillac
Escalade wondering what was going to happen. When Cole had told her to buy a
special dress for the evening, she thought it meant a dinner with his parents.
Clearly that wasn’t the case since she’d said goodbye to them earlier at the
house.

Now why was Jens pulling into the harbor? Then she saw the
beautiful yacht tethered to the dock. It was festooned with colorful lights and
looked...enchanted.

Tonight she was grateful she hadn’t spent all the money he’d
given her on the outfit she was wearing—he had already done too much. Especially
when she saw the price tags at the boutique Jens had taken her to at first.
She’d cringed inwardly, then clunked out the door on her crutches. Once outside
she’d asked Jens if he knew of any secondhand stores.

He did, and at one of them she found the perfect dress—a
sleeveless black silk that hugged her body perfectly, falling just above her
knees. The store had a pair of black kitten heels to match the gown, allowing
her to walk steadily with crutches. To finish off the look, she pulled her hair
up into a loose chignon, leaving tendrils of hair to frame her face.

She watched as Cole exited the yacht and walked to the
Cadillac. He looked incredibly sexy in a perfectly tailored suit. He opened her
door and leaned in. His eyes swept over her. “Do you want to walk with your
crutches or do you want me to carry you?”

The way he looked, smiled and the exhilarating smell of his
aftershave titillated her senses. But she’d vowed to be strong and not rely on
him for everything. “I think I can manage on my own.”

He helped her out of the Cadillac, then reached in for her
crutches, which he handed to her. The wind off the water was bone chilling, and
Sashi shivered, despite the long cashmere coat Cole’s mom had lent her.

Jens drove off as she and Cole walked together onto the dock
and onto the yacht. Sashi had seen boats like this in films, but never in real
life. “This is beautiful, Cole!” she breathed.

“I’m glad you like it.”

“Who wouldn’t? It’s incredible, and the lights...” She was
speechless as he ushered her inside.

Cole moved in closer to her, making her yearn for something she
knew she couldn’t have. He deserved someone better than her, a woman who wasn’t
broken. Before Cole found forgiveness, they were two lost souls who clung to one
another for help and security.

He helped her off with her coat, then brought his hands up to
cup her face. “Sashi, you’re so damn beautiful.” Then his hands slid down to her
waist and he pulled her close.

She leaned back slightly to meet his gaze, and she couldn’t
recall a time she’d ever seen so much desire. When he lowered his head and their
lips met, her resolve to keep her distance melted away. The kiss was hot and
wet, and seemed to go on and on. Sashi ran her hands through his hair and
started to remove his jacket. One of his hands began to unzip her dress.

The sound brought her out of her sensual trance. “Cole, we need
to...” But no words could come out. The aurora borealis was out tonight in its
full grandeur. The sky kept flashing a green light over the mountains and bay,
creating an atmosphere of supreme brilliance from the snow-covered peaks to the
ocean below.

“No words could do justice to the beauty of this night sky. I
could only imagine creating a dance to show the splendor of what I have seen
tonight. Too bad I don’t have a camera and can’t take pictures very well.”

“Sammi is a professional photographer. I’m sure she has
hundreds of pictures you could choose from of the aurora borealis.”

She bumped into his shoulder. “Thanks. I have a question
though.”

“You have a question?”

“Yes. Are we going to have dinner tonight?”

He looked a bit stunned. “Uh, it’s all ready for us to
eat.”

* * *

C
OLE
DIDN
’
T
KNOW
WHAT
to make of this new woman. He had never seen her like this before. All through
dinner she was fun, sweet and loving, but something had changed since this
afternoon. He could feel she was holding herself back. Maybe when he proposed,
it would allay all her fears.

The red and white roses all over the countertops and the lit
candles created an atmosphere of romance. He stood up and crossed to the sound
system, then put on the song they had danced to so many weeks ago in his room.
“I’ve come to think of this as our song. Would you dance with me again,
Sashi?”

“As long as you help, Doc.”

Doc?
He winced. Where was all this
friend stuff coming from?

Sashi stood on her own, waiting for Cole to come. She’d taken
her shoes off in anticipation before he reached her. When he did, Sashi put her
good foot on his right foot, and seconds later, they began to move to the
rhythm. To Cole it was heaven.

Once the song ended, Cole got down on one knee and pulled out
the little box containing the ring. “Sashi Hansen,” he began, “I love you. Will
you marry me and live with me here in Alaska?”

* * *

S
ASHI
WAS
BLOWN
AWAY
. She knew that Cole had
feelings for her. But she hadn’t anticipated a marriage proposal so soon. Cole
must have had an epiphany in the helicopter that morning.

Between finding forgiveness from his parents and writing the
letter to Luke, he’d obviously found the peace
she
was so desperately looking for. His guilty feelings must have gone to the wind
right along with the pieces of paper.

She, however, couldn’t say yes until she’d reached the same
level of self-forgiveness as Cole. It wouldn’t be fair to him. She would be
cheating him out of the life he deserved.

The ring was so beautiful she could barely take her eyes off
it. It was at least a carat and a half emerald-cut diamond with two emeralds on
either side half the size in the same shape. And Cole was hoping to slide it on
her finger.

“Cole,” she began, “the ring is absolutely gorgeous. But I
can’t say yes right now. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for a real
relationship. I’m so sorry. Today when I saw you forgive yourself over your
brother’s death, I realized I still needed time to heal. You deserve a woman who
can give herself wholeheartedly to you. But I’m still stuck and I refuse to drag
you back to that dark place.”

“Sashi, I can help you. You helped me. We can do this together.
We can make it work!”

“I can’t. Until I can fill this void in my soul, I’m no good
for anyone. I’m so sorry, Cole. I never meant to hurt you.”

Sashi’s heart was breaking as she watched him close the tiny
box. “I have major obstacles to overcome. I have to forgive myself, and I have
to make things right with Kendra’s parents. Until I heal, I can’t be the strong
person you need.

“I also need to see my parents. I miss them. It’s a huge
decision for me to leave everything I’ve ever known and live in Alaska. And I
don’t know that there will be children here who’ll want to take dance
classes.”

“There will always be room in Alaska for a dance teacher,” he
said. “But it was foolish and selfish of me to ask you to marry me and live
here. I’m sorry to have put pressure on you—I know better than anyone what
you’re going through. Forgive me, Sashi. I’ll let you go to find the peace you
deserve.”

Sashi’s lower lip began to tremble. “It’s also hard for me to
imagine a life without you.” She started to cry.

Cole took her in his arms and held her for long minutes, then
let her go. She watched a curtain fall over his face.

“Can you please take me back to your parents’ home?” she
asked.

“Sure. Let’s go.” He blew out the candles, turned off the
lights and handed Sashi her crutches, then headed to the deck above. Sashi’s
tears slipped down her cheeks as she climbed the stairs with the help of the
railing.

I’ve done it now,
she thought.
I’ve truly lost any chance to be with Cole.

* * *

W
HEN
THEY
RETURNED
TO
K
ETCHIKAN
, Sashi found that her
parents and the Knights had arrived and were staying at a hotel in town. Mary,
it seemed, had called them and told them Sashi was much better, and they had all
come to accompany her on her flight back to Virginia.

Sashi learned that the Knights had flown to Prince of Wales
Island to visit Frank Marshall and Freddy at the resort. Apparently they’d given
the Marshalls hell for what had happened.

Sashi asked Mrs. Knight, “Do you feel better?”

“Talking to that young man will never bring my Kendra back,”
Mrs. Knight said, “but it felt good to give him a piece of my mind.”

Sashi decided that after what she’d done to Cole, it would be
best for her to take a room at the same hotel as her parents.

* * *

I
T
WAS
S
ASHI
’
S
LAST
NIGHT
in Alaska. Doris had called
and invited the group to her home for a goodbye dinner. Sashi was nervous and
excited to see Cole after almost a week—a week that had been one of the worst
she’d had up here. She had to find a way to get over Cole, or she was going to
be miserable for the rest of her life.

To her dismay, Cole wasn’t there. She shouldn’t be surprised,
not after the way they’d parted. But the house was filled with well-wishers from
the hospital and all of Cole’s friends. She loved seeing Doris, Doug, Sammi,
Jake, CJ and Natasha, Nels and his wife, Marta. She hated having to say
goodbye.