THE AFFAIR (34 page)

I walked into Blaine’s office saying a cheery hello to his secretary whom I’d become quite comfortable with. I found it odd that she didn’t look at me as she usually did, but instead looked away and told me to go ahead in the office that Blaine was waiting for me. He was. So was Chance.

“Chance.” I looked from him to Blaine. “What are you doing here?”

As he walked toward me, I attempted to tell him not to come any closer. Before I could, I was in his arms and my world was spinning.

An instant before his lips claimed mine, I saw Blaine leave the office. Chance moved his mouth closer, hesitating a nanosecond to gauge my resistance.

How could I resist him, this dark-haired lover I’d vowed to love throughout all eternity? I gave in to the desires of my heart as his lips, warm and inviting, melded into mine, his tongue plumbing the depths of my mouth, my tongue battling his.

I felt my energy combining with his and everything that I thought existed in this life, in my sane, sensible world, faded away. I was whisked away with the speed of light across time after time. Each time, I was with Chance, in his arms, loving him, always his wife, always.

Each life had been lived joyfully and ended as a natural cycle of things, until the last time we were together. That was the only life we’d not completed.

It felt as if I were going to fall. My strength gave way and I could feel my body begin to fall. I was in Chance’s arms. His face was wet and covered with tears, his and mine combined. He was kissing my checks, my neck, my throat and his love, so pure, so real, wrapped me in a cocoon of safety.

I had found the other half of my soul. I could only hold him without speaking, knowing that I was in his arms again and he was safe. I felt that I had just completed something, a circle. That was it. The circle was now complete.

Blaine re-entered the room and looked to the floor where I was cradled in Chance’s arms. “What happened?”

Chance looked up at him. “I thought you were going to give us a few minutes.”

My eyes followed Blaine’s, as he looked at his watch then gazed back at Chance. “I’ve been gone over an hour. What happened?” he repeated.

“She fainted.”

I blinked twice. I didn’t remember that. “I had a vision,” I told Blaine. “I saw Chance and me living out our lives, time after time.”

“That wasn’t a vision you saw. Those were memories.”

Blaine helped Chance raise me from the floor. I felt a little woozy. “That’s never happened with Chance. I thought it was just between us.

Blaine glanced from one of us to the other. “Did you feel the same burst of energy that you feel when we touch?”

Though the words sounded innocent enough I knew in my heart Blaine was hoping that particular connection was only between the two of us. “No, nothing like that,” I finally answered. “It was just when Chance kissed me…” I stopped, blushing with embarrassment.“He kissed me and suddenly all of these scenes flashed before me. It was almost as if I were in a movie observing myself in different bodies, different times. Yet I knew it was me, and always the man was Chance.”

Chance was smiling at me. “We were destined to be together from the beginning to the end of eternity. Our lives were always preordained. That’s why you called me. That’s why I looked for you and that’s the reason I found you.”

I knew the words Chance spoke were true but there was something missing. Something had short-circuited in this life to prevent us from finding each other before we had a chance to hurt others.

“While I agree with you, Chance, in all the other lifetimes, we were young, in our teens, early twenties when we found each other. We lived our lives fully, we grew old together. Never once did I sense that we had hurt anyone to be together. We were always born knowing that the other existed.”

“Why didn’t it happen this time?” Chance asked. I couldn’t help noticing a puzzled look on his face.

Blaine looked at us both. “I don’t know the answer to that. Maybe you both chose not to know. Maybe in this century you didn’t want to endure others’ disdain. In earlier times it was okay to believe. Now it’s not. Even if they believe in reincarnation most people don’t admit it.”

I looked to Blaine for help. My emotions were tumbling around inside me. Yes, I loved this man madly. My heart, soul and spirit belonged to him, but I had the niggling doubt that this lifetime, for whatever reason, was not meant to be spent in his arms.

“Chance, I have to go with Blaine, we’re having dinner.”

“I don’t think so.”

Chance lifted me in his arms as though I was nothing but feathers. I guess I was. I’d lost twenty-five pounds, the twenty I’d gained and an extra five.

I buried my lips in his neck. I knew where we were going and what he wanted. I wanted it too.

In the blink of an eye, or so it seemed, we arrived at Chance’s home. “Chance, don’t,” I protested as he once again lifted me in his arms, prepared to carry me through the door.

“Shhhh,
”
he answered softly. “This is what a man does with his new bride.”

“But I’m not.”

I wanted to protest, but the look in his eyes prevented it. No words have yet been invented to describe that look, something so much more than love and adoration, something purely spiritual. For this moment in time I could deny him nothing.

This time in his home, I welcomed the energy of our combined souls that had called out to each other. I felt the warm embrace of the rooms enfolding me in supreme love. Crouched beneath my feelings of joy were the first pinpricks of sadness. I pushed it away from me. There would be time to deal with whatever it was later. For now, this time, this moment belonged only to Chance and myself.

He kissed my hands one at a time, then walked to the middle of the room. I watched him push the buttons on his tape player, not in the least bit surprised when Sting’s voice came on, singing, “Every Breath You Take.”

How appropriate. It was so true. With every breath, I was closer to Chance, loving him more, remembering more, no longer running from my many pasts with this man, but capitulating to the inevitable.

I was in his arms spinning around and around believing that Sting had written the song so that when Chance and I found each other it would speak for us, saying the things we didn’t say. It did the job beautifully.
Thank you Sting, for the song.

I felt the fire beginning in the big toe of my left foot, the burn scorching me with its fervent power. It wasn’t long before the flames of desire filled my entire being, rushing over and through me like a giant tidal wave. I succumbed to the lust raging in my soul for this man I loved.

Together we sank to the floor, the music having cast a spell over us. We could not take another step. The bedroom was too far away and our hunger, our need, too intense, too close to be denied. Chance’s lips touched me all over, as mine did him.

I loved him with every cell in my entire body. I was his and he was mine.

He entered me and I looked in amazement into his eyes, seeing clearly every moment of every life we’d spent together.

Then something strange happened. As we began the exquisite climb together toward total bliss I saw us together in the future, blissfully happy and free to love. Chance was holding me in his arms. Suddenly a sword materialized out of the air and with one quick swipe, separated us.

I saw myself crying out for Chance, screaming, “No God, no.” And a faceless voice answered me. “You stole one lifetime. This one I take back.”

I saw myself crying, desolate, begging God for another life with the other half of my soul. I grew old, unloved, barren, always searching for Chance, always. I opened my eyes, fighting back the tears.

This time Blaine couldn’t tell me it wasn’t a vision I had, for I knew it was. I closed my eyes, giving in to the lust of my soul, knowing within my spirit what the vision meant. This lifetime was not meant for me to be with Chance.

Somehow we’d broken the plan. We’d found each other when it was never meant to be. I wondered what would happen if we accepted our stolen love now? Would we be denied the full and complete love I saw waiting for us in the future?

I felt the urgency in Chance’s body pushing me toward completion and I allowed my thoughts to disperse. Nothing would stop me from making the total journey with Chance.

Together we climbed each peak and mountain, our spirits, our souls entwined. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this man was the one whom God had created for me. Our love was everlasting.

As we began to spiral down, I felt an intense hot electrical energy coursing through my body. I could feel it in Chance’s body also.

I listened closely, sure that I heard a low hum of energy around us. I lifted my hand to touch Chance’s face. The same energy that had surrounded us the day we first found Blaine was there with us now. We’d found our way home.

We made love the entire night and into the morning, sometimes at a feverish pitch, our hunger for each other getting the best of us. It was as though for this lifetime we’d been starved and we now wanted nothing more than to feast on each other.

At times, we made love slowly, Chance kissing his way up my thighs, his lips, his hands, his heart branding my very soul.

I held nothing back. I gave him all that I was and all that I ever would be, because I knew what my vision meant.

When we were done with this night it would be our last. It would be over. This lifetime had not been meant for me to be with my husband, my love, the other part of my soul. This lifetime was meant for me to spend with Larry.

I kept this knowledge from Chance. I wanted nothing to mar the perfection of our loving. This one night, my love unhampered by any other love, was my ultimate gift for my beloved.

In the wee hours of the morning, Chance lay sated, his head across my abdomen, his hands caressing my naked flesh, the bed that we’d finally made it to soft and warm beneath our bodies.

“But how? Did we break some cosmic law to do it? I can feel it, that we’ve crossed some great divide we were never meant to cross.”

“You came to me, Michelle. For years I had these dreams. When I met my wife they stopped for a time. I thought they were wishful fantasy but they weren’t.”

“What happened?” I asked, knowing in my heart that I probably already knew.

“You started coming to me more frequently, asking me why I wasn’t looking for you. You were always so distraught, telling me you were lost, that you couldn’t find me. I can remember the sound of your voice saying, ‘Jeremy, find me. I’m looking for you. Remember your promise. I need to know that you’re alright, I need to know our son was loved.’”

I felt his tears hot and wet falling between my legs where his head still rested. “How did you know I wasn’t just dreams?”

“Because it felt so real,” he answered. “I awoke one night crying out to you saying that I would find you, that I did remember my promise. My wife woke and asked what I was dreaming about.”

He stopped then and raised his head to look at me before continuing, his hand sliding along the smooth surface of my abdomen. He moved slightly, burying his tongue in my navel, sending sensations of warmth spreading through me.

“Chance, tell me what happened. What did you say to her?”

“I told her the truth, that my wife Dimitra was calling me, that she was worried and trying to find me. I told her I had to find you.”

I looked at him in disbelief. “How could you just say something like that?”

“Because it was true. I knew it. I had dismissed the incidents for too long as dreams. The moment I spoke your name to my wife, I knew none of it had ever been a dream.”