The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love (33 page)

Based on a comparison of these three charts, it is reasonable to conclude that Christians are considerably more satisfied with their love life than non-Christians, and Spirit-filled Christians tend to record a somewhat higher degree of enjoyment than even the average believer. This should not come as a surprise, however, since the first fruit of the Spirit is “love.” The more love an individual has from God to give to his partner, the more fulfillment he will give and receive in marriage. Hopefully these statistical facts will cause both the Christian community and secular counselors to recognize that a person’s relationship with God will improve his relationship with other people, beginning with his partner.

Additional Interesting Comparisons

As we analyzed the results of our survey, we made a number of fascinating discoveries—far too many, in fact, to include in this book. We would, however, like to draw your attention to some of these we consider most important and have drawn charts to visualize the data.

The following chart was compiled by averaging the responses of both the husbands and the wives in their respective age groups and indicates the highest level of sexual satisfaction of all surveys that we are familiar with. The graph showing the satisfaction level for those in their fifties may indicate that what we discussed under male impotence, but what few men over fifty admit freely today, is true: as their vital energies decline, some do in fact begin having problems in their sexual performance. It is worth noting that 81 percent do not indicate such a decline, and hopefully by studying chapters 10 and 11 (the Kegel exercises and male impotence), many of those who do will be able to resolve their difficulties.

The most obvious conclusion we can draw from the following chart is that the more education a person has, the more apt he is to get a divorce. Evidently the humanistic philosophy of higher education, which often tries to destroy the permanency of marriage, makes inroads even into the thinking of Christians. This figure would probably be much higher but for those who attended Christian colleges. Unfortunately no differentiation was sought in the survey. However, over half of those who divorced did so
before
becoming Christians, so it is safe to assume that the majority of the divorces occurred among those who attended secular colleges or universities.

Children Are a Blessing

The Bible, in Psalm 127, calls children a “heritage from the Lord” and further states, “Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” We were rather surprised to find that those taking our survey had an average of 2.5 children per couple. Although this is somewhat above the national average, we had expected a higher number of children in Christian families. In addition, it was interesting to observe that couples who had never attended college had 2.8 children, whereas those with two years’ college registered 2.5, those with four years of college scored 2.4, and those who went on to graduate school recorded a 2.3 rate.

Young couples today often acquire the impression that children are a hindrance to sexual enjoyment. Some are so convinced of this fallacy that they use it as an excuse for not starting or enlarging their families. Our survey and
Redbook
’s refutes such an idea. As researcher Levin stated, “The major point that emerges from the statistics is that women with children are just as likely to be satisfied with sex as married women without children, and women with two or more children are as satisfied as women with just one child. In other words, when it comes to sexual satisfaction in marriage,
children make no appreciable difference.
”
³

Prayer Still Changes Things

It was encouraging to discover that 67 to 70 percent of the Christian couples we surveyed prayed together one or more times a week. After preaching for years that prayer changes things, we were excited to find that such an experience even includes improving sexual satisfaction in marriage.

The Big Lie About Premarital Sex

For years now, amoral advocates of premarital sex have encouraged young people to gain sexual experience as an aid to future marital adjustment. We who believe the Bible and its timeless principles for happy living have advised that such a practice is harmful. Our survey indicates quite clearly that premarital sex is
not
necessary and, according to statistics, may hinder sexual adjustment.