The Academy - Friends vs. Family (38 page)

S
leepless

That evening, I was awake at eleven, staring at the ceiling in the
dark from between the sheets of my new bed. I wore new red shorts and a white
tank top from Victoria's Secret. I’d thanked everyone by text and phone calls.
I even sent a text to Victor, thanking him again. He never replied but I
assumed he was still doing Academy business.

As I stared off into the dark, I knew Marie was home. She snuck in
around nine and went straight to her room. I followed her using the app on my
phone. She was in bed now, clothes laid out on the chair nearby for school the
next day. Spying was becoming a creepy habit.

I tossed. I turned. I enjoyed the comfort of the new bed. I was
far too excited, overwhelmed and strangely, I was also lonely. I’d had other
people next to me all week and now, my first night to give me some peace and to
eliminate the risk, I was missing them all.

I sat up, attracted to the window. I sat on my old trunk to gaze
out into the evening. Kota’s car wasn’t back in its place. Was he working late?
Was Victor with him?

I turned back to the bed, ready to give it another go and forget
trying to call or bother anyone, when I realized this might be exactly what the
others meant when they said to talk to them if I needed anything. Didn’t Silas
command me to call when I was lonely? Hadn’t North, Kota and the others
constantly nagged me to call for anything? Only I didn’t want to call anyone
over. It was late. They were probably all sleeping. Except for Kota, who was
gone and working.

I sighed, coming up with an idea but unsure if I should do so.
Without giving it another thought, with the fear I would slip back into bed and
forget the whole thing, I opened my bedroom door, stepping barefoot into the
hallway.

I skulked my way through Nathan’s yard. I had never met his father
and I wasn’t quite sure that I wanted to get caught in his yard just in case he
did happen to be home. My heart thundered through me, until I was shaking on my
toes.

The air held a crispness as a wind picked up from the ocean
nearby, sweeping my hair into my eyes. I breathed in the salt, remembering
Silas’s cologne. Part of me wanted to stand there and soak in the night. Maybe
I should have talked to North. Would he have taken me to the beach? Did I want
him to?

I found Nathan’s window and I tapped at it lightly with a finger.
He’d surprised me at my window before. I thought it was fair I got the chance
to do so to him. Besides, I was worried if I’d called to ask, he’d tell me not
to risk it. The truth was, I didn’t want to sleep in my room tonight. I wasn’t
so sure why. Maybe I wasn’t used to the cameras. Maybe I was too excited by all
the new things. All I knew was, I wasn’t going to sleep there. Not tonight.

Silence. I tapped with my fingernail again, peeking in from
between the slats of the blinds.

The light from his closet was on and a figure stirred in his bed.
The maroon covers were pulled away. Nathan appeared, a hand pushed to his face,
rubbing. I was glad he was home. I’d been half worried he’d gotten called into
work, too, and I made the trip for nothing.

When I tapped again, he glanced over, sitting up and covered
himself at the hips with the blanket. He carried the blanket with him, crossing
the floor. He yanked the string to raise the blinds. His bare chest and stomach
were exposed. I found myself doing a double take, staring in awe at the
definition. He blinked out at me and with one hand he unlocked the window and
started to slide it open.

“What are you doing here?” he said, his voice gruff with sleep.

“I can’t sleep,” I said, trying to avoid looking at his hips. Was
he in his underwear?

He huffed, grinning and shaking his head at me. He thrust the
window all the way open. He released it and held out his hand, palm open and
waiting. I grabbed it, and he helped me get over the high wall and in through
the opening. I landed on the carpet.

He clutched the blanket, shifting it higher on his waist. “Turn
around,” he said. “Face the window.”

I did, and closed the window for him and locked it back. Through
the reflection against the pane of glass, I watched as he moved toward the
closet. With his back to me, he released the blanket, letting it feather to the
floor.

My heart stopped dead and I lost the breath I’d been holding.

His bare, fit butt matched the rest of him in exquisite, reflected
detail.

I blushed, turning my eyes away to focus instead on the shadows
outside. I was embarrassed to have peeked, but I knew the image would be
ingrained into my mind forever. Another secret.

Did he sleep naked when he was home by himself?

He shuffled behind me. I stared hard into the blinds to avoid
tempting myself to watch. “Okay,” he said eventually.

I turned around as he was fluffing the blanket back over the bed.
He’d slipped on a pair of dark boxers. His smile was outlined on his face from
the light of the closet behind him. “Oh yeah,” he said. “Come see.”

I tiptoed around the bed, glancing around his room at the karate
posters and at his dresser. The stereo on top was playing some rock music from
a band I didn’t recognize.

He pointed to his closet. I stepped inside, noting how it had been
emptied of the collection of used work out equipment and boxes. Now his clothes
were organized, the bars for hanging clothes stretched out on the left and
right. I recognized a small collection near the back on the left, with skirts
and blouses, in shades of pink and other girl colors. Some underwear and bras
were folded neatly on a shelf above them.

I reddened, feeling awkward. It was a strange feeling, like the
clothes were for me to wear, but belonged to Victor, with Gabriel commanding
them, and Nathan guarding them. They didn’t really feel like mine at all. In a
way it relieved some of the guilt I felt about the cost. “Thank you,” I
whispered, unsure of what else to say.

“Never thought my first roommate would be a girl,” he said. He
flicked off the light from the closet and through the dark, he shuffled toward
the bed, sitting down on the edge. He patted the spot next to him. “Come on.”

I crawled onto his bed, moving over to the side closer to the
window. I rested on my side on top of his blanket, propping my head up on my
arm. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. He stretched out next to me, his
head propped up, too. I couldn’t see the blue in his eyes but I imagined the
serious expression as he spoke. “Why can’t you sleep?”

I pushed a forefinger to my lower lip. “I don’t know. I like the
new bed. I love everything, but I couldn’t stop...” I lost the explanation, not
that I really had one but I wanted to give a reason. I did love what they’d
done but I didn’t understand why I couldn’t sleep.

He stretched a hand, taking mine from my mouth and holding it to
his chest. “Too much?”

I nodded.

“It doesn’t feel like your own yet, huh?”

“I’ve never had new things before.” Not to mention that they were
gifts. The admission surprised me. Was being honest getting easier?

He sighed. “Well, get under the covers.”

He scooped up the blanket between us, waiting until I shuffled my
feet underneath. He released the blanket over us. I could just make out the
outline of his muscled shoulders. I wondered if I would ever stop being in awe
of his frame. The mere idea of his power made my insides tremble.

He shifted until he was on his side facing the closet, settling
in. The scent of cypress and leather filtered to my nose. My eyes widened,
focused, looking at the deeper shadows, at the dull blue glow of the light of
his stereo, and the red numbers of the digital clock on the side table next to
us. I wasn’t sure what I was thinking coming over to his house. What made me
think I could possibly sleep here any better?

“Shit,” he breathed out, flipping over. He propped his body up on
his arm as he twisted to reach for something on the side table closest to me,
hovering over me. He grinned down at me as he snatched up his phone. “If I
don’t tell them you’re here, they’re going to flip if they try to check in.”

I hadn’t thought of that. It rattled me more that he had to do it.
This was a bad idea. They’d think I didn’t like all my new stuff. They’d think
I’d gotten in trouble. It was a school night. What was I doing here?
“Nathan...” I whispered, unsure how to express my fears.

He sat up cross legged on the bed, the phone in his hands. “What?”

“Let them know it wasn’t because... I mean I really do love the
new things.”

He chuckled and his hand found mine in the dark. He guided me to
sit up. He tucked an arm around my waist, pulling me into his lap. My butt
settled between his legs, my knees hooking over his thigh and he wrapped his
strong arms around me, looking down into my face. “You can say it, Sang. It
isn’t wrong.”

My fingers sought my mouth. I wasn’t sure what he meant.

He snatched my hand away before I could touch my lip. “Don’t do
that. I can’t stand it. You can say what you’re thinking. I’m not going to
laugh.”

I still wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be admitting. In the
moment, my mind was muddled with feeling his strong, warm body around me, his
serious expression and my own trembling heart.

He pressed my hand to his chest, pushing my palm over his heart,
his own fingers warming over mine to keep it there. “You can admit you were
lonely. You don’t have to hide that. Victor told you the truth. You don’t have
to wait for an invitation to come over. Call, come over, send smoke signals. If
you want me, I’ll come for you.”

I bit my own lip, swallowing back my heart. “I was lonely,” I
whispered.

His arms tightened around me again, pressing me close to his body.
My cheek fell to the hardness of his collarbone, and I kept my hand over his
heart.

He sighed heavily against me. “To be honest, I was, too.”

My eyes watered. When I thought about it, it was Nathan that had
more reason to feel alone than I did. My mother was downstairs in my house. My
sister was there, too. Nathan’s father could not be home right now, and might
not be for days at a time as he flew helicopters back and forth for work. He
saw his father less than I did mine, perhaps. There was no one here. As far as
I knew, Nathan was the one who was alone most of all.

He sighed against my head, and pulled back, picking up his cell
phone again. “But let me text them before they call in the squad to find you.”

I remained against his chest, burying my face into his shoulder.
It was hard to admit what I’d done, and was grateful he was there to tell them
for me.

He typed in a message, pushed a button to send it and waited.
After a couple of minutes of sitting and cuddled together in the dark, a
message returned. “There,” he said, “Kota’s nagging. So we’re good.”

“Nagging?”

“Oh you know, make sure you get back tomorrow morning without your
mom finding out. Don’t be late for school. Don’t stay up all night. Don’t let
you climb up to the roof alone if you need to.”

My heart warmed. Kota’s nagging was caring. It was more than my
parents did.

My phone lit up in the crest of my cami bra top and started to
vibrate. I’d already forgotten I’d put it there. The phone lit up our faces in
the dark.

Nathan laughed. “You’ve got the best pockets.”

I laughed, too, blushing as I removed the phone. Victor was
calling. Did Nathan tell everyone I was here? I couldn’t not answer him, even
though in that moment I wasn’t sure I should. Every step I made around them now
had me questioning how the others would react. What would Victor think of me
sitting in Nathan’s lap right now? I was questioning my own loyalties and what
was appropriate at every turn.

I pushed the button. “Victor?”

“Are you okay?” Victor asked, genuine concern in his tired voice.

“Yeah,” I said, my eyes moving to Nathan’s face, wondering if he
could hear. “I’m fine.”

Victor paused. “Are you?”

That was a challenge. I summoned courage. “I was lonely,” I
admitted, still blushing and my free hand searching for my lip again. Nathan
caught it in his, squeezing it and narrowing his eyes at me. I continued,
“After being around everyone all week and suddenly no one...”

“Oh,” Victor said, “And you couldn’t sleep.”

“I tried.”

Victor sighed. “Should have left someone with you,” he said,
though quietly as if noting it to himself instead of saying it to me.

“I didn’t know,” I said, “I didn’t think about it. But we
shouldn’t be doing that any more. Tomorrow I’ll stay in my room.” Was he not
mad about me going to Nathan’s? He said someone. Would he have sent Nathan to
me if I’d asked?

“Tomorrow I’ll stay the night,” he said.

“Victor...” I said, unsure of how to respond.