The #5Star Affair (Love Hashtagged Book 1) (14 page)

Guilt sank in as her words did. He’d never stopped to consider, but her argument sounded too much like Jaycie’s. Like Stacy hoped it would all vanish, if she ignored it. The event with Kent surged into his thoughts. “It doesn’t go away just because you pretend it’s not there.”

“You think?” She gave a short, bitter laugh. “The thing is, for the most part, it’s just words. Words hurt, but they don’t lurk in dark shadows, waiting to catch us alone. It’s the tiny percentage of guys who mean the words that I worry about.”

The bruise under his eye throbbed, both with increased blood pressure, and another reminder of the scuffle with Kent. Ethan didn’t know what to say.

“There’s always someone who means the threats,” Stacy said. “Who wants to act on them.” Her voice dropped in volume. “Who, like Rich and his friends, is willing to make them all too real. The difference between him and you is you’re just clueless. But he’s drawn attention to us, and really, the more they forget we have different innie and outie bits than them, the safer it is to fall asleep at night.”

“I’m so sorry.” Ethan didn’t have anything better.

“Good.” She strolled toward him, resignation in her voice. “Backtrack to two weeks ago, and keep your friends from finding out who J-Dub is. Keep your dick in your pants, and don’t sleep with her.”

“I can’t—”

“Then sorry doesn’t matter.”

“Don’t take this out on me, because they’re assholes. It’s not right to demonize me over this.”

She paused in front of him, meeting his gaze. “But I can’t take it out on them. You’ll listen, you’ll pretend you understand, you won’t stalk me in the dark, and you won’t fight back, so it’s safe to take it out on you. Welcome to my world.” She brushed past him, and was gone.

Her words drilled into his thoughts, as he made his way to his desk. The longer her mini speech lingered in his head, the more sense it made, especially when it bound to everything Jaycie had been saying. He didn’t honestly think he was responsible, but was he making things worse?

“Got a minute?” Bill’s request—and the lack of question in it—halted Ethan in his tracks on the path back to his desk.

He fought the urge to groan, and shifted direction. The conversation with Stacy still played in his mind. Did Jaycie feel the same way? No wonder she’d kept pushing him to drop things. “What’s up, Bossman?”

Bill waited until Ethan was seated, closed the door, and took his own spot on the other side of the desk. Twice in as many days. That couldn’t be a bad sign. Ethan’s own sarcastic cynicism almost made him smile.

Bill studied a single piece of paper in front of him. A pen. His mouse. “I asked you to take this off us, not make things worse.”

Wow. Apparently it was his day to get shit for taking a stand. “I’m not sure what you expected me to do. Why isn’t Rich in here?”

“Because I’m not getting complaints about Rich.” Bill still wouldn’t meet his gaze. “Anyway, I wanted to let you know firsthand, before the email announcement, we’ve decided to go with someone else for the director position.”

The words smacked Ethan in the chest. “Because of this whole thing?”

Bill turned away. “Because we have a candidate who will do the job better. I have another meeting. I need to run.”

Ethan swallowed a growl, and smothered his disappointment with anger. He should have had that job. So maybe they found someone more qualified—his ego almost let him admit that—but they’d already said otherwise. And the timing was just too convenient.

He fought the urge to punch a nearby wall, as he bypassed his desk and headed for the elevators. He needed to clear his head.

Jaycee’s attention twitched at the soft click coming from the living room. After her exchange with
Game Sneak
, she’d been able to cling to the euphoria of the conversation and the same resolution that made her query them in the first place, and had moved back to her own desk in her bedroom.

A loud ka-chunk reached her, and her heart leaped into her chest. The sound of someone pushing the door against the security chain.

“Jace?” Ethan’s tired voice soothed her hammering heart. She’d completely forgotten she’d chained the door that morning.

She hurried to let him in. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” It looked like it took effort for him to smile. Faint wrinkles lined his forehead, and the corners of his mouth turned down. “Are you okay?”

“Good. Better now.” Her news pushed at the seams of her restraint, bouncing up and down to get out, but from the look on his face, now wasn’t the time. “What’s wrong?”

He intertwined his fingers with hers, raised her hand, and brushed his lips over her knuckles. He ducked in and kissed her—a touch so light it echoed more in her chest than on her skin—then rested his forehead against hers. The tender gestures were almost more desperate than the frantic kisses they’d shared just a few days ago, and her heart pinged with a jumbled mixture of desire and concern.

“You tell me when I’m being an ass, right?” His voice was low, mingling with the whir of the fridge. “I mean, I guess that’s a stupid question; you don’t tend to hold back. But I still have to make sure.”

How was she supposed to answer a question like that? Something told her no response would be quite right. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Long day at work is all.” He wrapped an arm around her waist, and steered her toward the couch. “Let’s watch something.”

The redirection was so abrupt, it almost gave her whiplash. She twisted from his grip, and met his gaze. “What kind of nothing leads to questions about you being an ass?”

“Forget I asked.” His smile was brighter this time, but still didn’t reach his eyes. He stepped around her, and grabbed the remote. “Something funny? Ridiculously stupid? Romantic, if you want.”

She could drop the subject. He obviously wanted to. Except he wouldn’t let her get away with it, and she couldn’t deny it hurt being shut out. “Tell me, please?”

“It’s nothing, really.” He turned on the TV, and pulled up his movie catalog. “Didn’t get the director position at work. No big deal, though. It went to someone better, I’m sure.” The bitterness that slid into his voice as he spoke could have curdled milk.

“I’m so sorry. I know you really wanted that,” she said.

He shrugged, still not looking at her. “I’m already over it.” His tone had gone flat.

“So who’d they go with instead?” She should stop pushing, so why couldn’t she?

He finally looked at her again, jaw clenched, and eyes hard. “Someone who’s happy to keep their mouth shut, if it means they can keep their job.”

Shit. He’d been passed over because he’d taken the wrong side in this whole #5StarFUQ thing. Guilt wormed its way into her gut, and she squashed it. “I don’t think they can legally do that.” That was probably a less than helpful response.

His nostrils flared, and he drew his lips into a thin line. “It’s not like I have proof.” He set the remote aside, scooted forward, and rested his elbows on his knees. “I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.” The sour tone was gone from his words, replaced with acceptance. “At least this way I know I did what was right.”

She didn’t hear resignation in his words. It was more like a quiet kind of pride, mixed with sadness. She knelt in front of him, to meet his gaze. “I know I haven’t acted grateful up to this point, but I really am. I’m not the kind of aggressive you are, and you’ve kept me from collapsing during this.”

“Yeah, I’m amazing like that.” A smirk sneaked onto his face. “I wish I hadn’t been so dense about the whole thing, though. About trying to understand where you were coming from. I still get the feeling I’m missing something.”

“Like what?”

He relayed the conversation with Stacy, and Jaycie’s shock grew with each new detail. It took a moment when he was done, for it all to process.

“She’s got a point”—Jaycie measured her words, not wanting to step too far in either direction—“but it’s no more your fault than it is mine.”

“I got that much.” He tugged her hand, and pulled her onto the couch next to him. “I
was
part of the problem before.”

Jaycie grabbed his arm, draped it over her shoulder, and leaned into him. “It’s not about being a big, bad protector, or always having to take a stand.” As the words spilled out, they coalesced into a cohesive thought, finally feeling like the point she was trying to get across. “It’s about complementing the people around you, and treating them like equals. You can’t jump in and stick up for someone, just because it’s chivalrous. They have to want your help. It has to be because that’s what you both need. You balance me out, and I hope I do the same for you. You treat me like an equal and respect me and listen to my opinions. Not because I’m female and you’re male, but because we’re people.”

He trailed his fingers along her arm in rhythm with his words. “See—that I understand.”

She wanted to curl up with him and just be happy they were both on the same page. However, the drive she’d clung to all day wasn’t quite gone. “Did they really pass you over because you’ve been vocal about #5StarFUQ?”

His shrug shifted her entire torso, and his sigh echoed in her thoughts. “I don’t know for certain,” he said, “but the odds seem good, since I was the top candidate a few weeks ago, and this morning they wrapped the bad news in a warning about my
behavior
.”

What she had to say next wasn’t going to make him happy. Given his reactions in the past, it might be the final spoiled cherry on a miserable melted sundae of a day. Best to get it out of the way. “Call Damon.”

His entire frame froze beneath her, the only movement was his fingers tapping lightly against her shoulder. “Because today wasn’t sucky enough?”

At least she’d guessed that right. “Because I think he can help us with a solution. Either call him, or see if you can get a referral from him.”

The hesitation dragged from seconds into minutes, until Ethan finally said, “All right. I’ll call him.”

****

“I’m glad I get to see you again before I fly out.” Damon gave Jaycie a peck on the cheek when she let him into the apartment. He looked far more casual than he had when they’d met him for dinner, but his slacks and polo shirt still made Jaycie feel underdressed in a T-shirt and cutoffs. “Was it your idea to call me?”

“It was.”

“I knew you’d be good for him.” Damon nodded at Ethan.

“Pretty sure that works both ways,” she replied. It had been a few days since Ethan had placed the call, but they all finally had a free evening on their calendars. Some of Jaycie’s bravado had vanished, since she first had the idea, but every time she started to wonder if this was the right thing to do, she replayed the plan in her head.

The three made random small talk, Ethan grabbing beers from the fridge, and Jaycie agreeing about the gorgeous spring weather. Damon made himself comfortable leaning back in one of the chairs with his ankle propped on the other knee, and Jaycie settled in next to Ethan on the couch. When she wasn’t overthinking the situation, being casual and familiar with Ethan just felt natural. She liked that a lot.

Damon took a long swallow off his beer, then set the bottle on the coffee table. “Knowing my baby brother’s aversion to small talk, I assume he didn’t invite me over to catch up on a whole week’s worth of life. So what can I do for you?”

At least he made cutting to the point easy. He and Ethan definitely had that in common. Jaycie pushed aside her nagging hesitation, and plowed forward. “I’d like your legal help with the matter we discussed at dinner. #5StarFUQ.”

Damon steepled his fingers, tapping to the two forefingers together, and studied her for a moment. “Unless you know something I don’t, you still can’t silence the whole of the internet, and you still need someone to sue.”

“I know you can’t shut the trolls up”—she fumbled for the carefully crafted argument she’d had, and grasped at its threads—“but there are companies like Console Power and Digital Media, who can be taken to task for discrimination.”

Damon raised his eyebrows. “I like the deep pockets on that, but can you prove it?”

“Console Power stopped buying my articles because my name was part of the rumors.”

“That’s a tough road to walk.” Damon gritted his teeth. “Technically, J-Dub is a public figure, and those rules are a little bit different. You’re the brand, and there are laws around marring the public image of brands. Also, you’re a work-for-hire contractor, and unless they have a long-term agreement with you, they’re not under any obligation to keep buying your work.

Crap. She’d been so certain. She struggled to find more. “But it’s not just about me. What about everyone else who’s been affected? I don’t just want this for me.” She took a deep breath, and pushed out the idea she’d hoped to build up to a lot more slowly. “I’m talking about a legal defense fund, for anyone who has to deal with this kind of discrimination. Say, someone who’s worried about being passed over for a promotion at work because they spoke up.”

Ethan’s hand tightened on her knee, and she risked a sideways glance. His jaw was clenched, and his face an impassive mask.

If Damon noticed, it didn’t faze him. “It’s a nice idea, but I wasn’t kidding before about money. I’ll help you however I can, but I can’t defend the universe, especially for free, any more than I can shut up the internet.”

“I know.” Now the words built up in her brain faster than she could process them. “I’m not asking you to. Consider, first of all, that this is amazing press.”

“Which doesn’t pay the bills, when half our potential clients are the people you want to sue.”

“And consider how many companies would donate to a legal fund like this, for their own good press.” There. A trickle of relief formed inside. It grew when Damon snapped his mouth shut, and looked at her expectantly. She pushed forward. “
Game Sneak
offered ‘whatever financial help is needed for a legal defense.’ They won’t be the only ones.”

Damon’s doubt melted into a grin, and he glanced at Ethan. “She might just be too smart for you.” He looked back at Jaycie. “I can donate my time, to draw up the paperwork for the funding and to help you form the foundation. You have to get people to sign on, though.”

Cold calling companies, to ask for money? Even for a good cause? The idea made her gut churn. Maybe she should have considered that sooner.

“Deal,” Ethan said.

“Perfect.” Damon scooted forward on the chair, eyes flashing in excitement. “You’re going to want to make a big deal of this, publicly. Right? That’s part of the point.”

“Of course,” Jaycie said. “Especially at first, so people know the option is out there. I want anyone who’s been scared silent to have a chance to step forward, and take a stand. I know it won’t change the world or anything, but if it rearranges a few perspectives…”

“Exactly what you need to be thinking.” Damon drummed his fingers on the coffee table. “That means you need a big case. Something to lead with. A poster-girl or boy, so to speak.”

“But you already said I probably don’t have a case.” Jaycie had a lot of colleagues who might or might not be interested, but she’d have to go down the list. How long would that take? Would things lose momentum before then? Then again, any of her colleagues might run into the same public-figure snag she did.

Damon looked past her at Ethan again. “You don’t know anyone who’s been passed over for a promotion recently, because they were too vocal?”

Maybe she shouldn’t have made her hypothetical question so close to the truth. For the first time that evening, she hesitated. Ethan had agreed to help, but that had never been on the table.

“I thought this was about women.” Ethan finally spoke.

“It’s about everyone,” Damon said. “Equal opportunity, remember?”

“I can’t sue the company I work for.” A hard edge snaked into Ethan’s voice.

Jaycie wanted to feel smug that Ethan experienced the discomfort first hand, but she understood the circumstance all too well. She wasn’t sure what to say.

“This is all or nothing, bab— bro.” Sympathy filled Damon’s eyes. “You can’t say you’ll take a stand, except when it applies to you. Besides, Digital Media has deep pockets, and they’ll make a nice nest egg to start with.”

Ethan edged forward on the couch, and bounced his left leg. “Donations are funding this.”

“Donations and settlements. This isn’t a cheap endeavor you’re talking about. You’re the perfect representative. Your name’s been on this from the beginning. Besides, if we go after someone big, Jaycie can afford to go after someone like Rich directly. Not with the hopes of getting any money out of him, but to prove the individual assholes aren’t protected just because they’re not worth billions.”

A new layer of hope surged inside Jaycie. She hadn’t thought that would be an option. She wasn’t big on the idea of revenge, but this was right. Rich had screwed them over.