The 10 Year Plan (3 page)

***

Candles flickered on the table; plates were picked clean. Myles had outdone himself.

“Oh, man, Myles,” Kodi said, “I should never admit it. But this was even better than what Mom makes.” He patted his stomach and accidentally belched. Quickly, he covered his mouth in embarrassment and blushed.

Myles was flattered. Best way to compliment the cook, after all.

“How did the meeting go with your client?” Myles asked, trying to break the tension.

Kodi didn't say anything. He just sat for a moment staring into Myles' face, as if trying to decide what to do.

Myles felt a tinge of alarm, tried to stop the waves of nerves that rolled over him, and then quickly continued. “I hope you got all the ‘I'm-thinking-of-you' texts I sent.”

Myles could tell Kodi felt uneasy, as if he were about to apologize for something. Myles didn't know what. His answer wasn't what Myles expected.

“Yup, I got all ten of them.” His tone was sarcastic.

Suddenly, things were coming into focus, and Myles realized he'd been deluding himself. The evening wasn't going the way he hoped it would. Still, he tried to redeem things. Elbows on the table, he leaned forward. “You seem a little... tired? Maybe if you take your shoes off. Relax a little. Stay for a while.”

Kodi looked stone-faced. That was when Myles began to realize that as usual, he'd tried too hard. Things had been too perfect—the wine, the appetizers, the music, the glow from the fireplace.

“I'm fine. Really.” He sat stiffly. “I'm just trying to figure out the best way to talk to you about something.”

Myles didn't know how to react. Obviously the dinner conversation was turning into one that was all too familiar? It was the same conversation, with slight variations, that he'd had with a dozen men before Kodi. He mustered up a nervous smile, “As long as it's not, ‘let's see other people.'”

Kodi's drawn face looked impassive. Clearly Miles had hit the nail on the head and he sighed. “You want to see other people?” His voice sounded resigned.

Kodi tried to soften the blow. “I'm thinking we're going too fast.”

“We've been dating a month, and I see you once a week for dinner and sex. And I do all the work for both. How is that going too fast?”

Koki looked uncomfortable, so much so that Myles almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

“I just want to pump the brakes a bit.”

Myles was dying inside. He could almost literally feel that last tiny spark of hope he held onto start to flicker and die in his chest. He couldn't believe this was happening. Not again. What was he doing that was so wrong? Trying to see that everything went well? Making sure the evening was successful. Myles shook his head. Kodi had seemed right for him. Suddenly, Myles was irritated.

“Maybe you could have pumped them on a day that I didn't spend cooking an elaborate dinner and planning erotic massages?” He stood and opened the bedroom door behind him and then turned back.

Kodi's face dropped at the sight of a bedroom full of candles and a massage table. Fresh cut flowers stood on the dresser and chest of drawers. Incense burned in tiny saucers.

“Wow, Myles. That's incredible. Really. All I can say is that one day you are going to make someone the most amazing husband.”

He finally accepted the situation. “Just not you?”

Kodi stood and for a moment stared into Myles' eyes, a look close to regret on his face, “No,” he said softly, “I'm going to leave.” He opened the door, quietly slipped out into the hallway, and away from Myles' happily ever after.

Myles slumped in his chair, elbows on the table, chin rested in his hands. What had he done wrong this time?

***

Brody lay in David's bed, relaxed, their bodies glistening with sweat. Brody smiled as he grabbed David's tee shirt and wiped semen from his abs. David lay back, watching. Brody gently kissed his lips as he tossed the cum-soaked tee shirt onto the floor. He felt like a cat that had eaten a chocolate-covered mouse.

“That was certainly fun,” Brody said. “Did you enjoy it?” The answer was obvious. All Brody needed to do was look under the sheets.

“Oh yeah! Hey, can I get you a beer now?”

“You're a quick study, David. I like you.”

“Enough to see me again?”

Brody laughed. He'd set the hook in this one. He knew that David was his for the taking any time he wanted. But it was better to not let him think this was going to be anything more than what it was. Being friends with a romantic like Myles didn't do his conscience any favors.

“I like you enough to introduce you to my best friend.”

David looked unsure. “A threesome? I don't know if I'm ready for that yet...”

“Sure you are!” Brody picked up his phone.

***

Myles sat at the dining room table, too defeated to clean up.

His cell phone rang, snapping him out of his funk. It was Brody face-timing him. He smiled.
This is really the only man I want to be with tonight,
he thought. Brody looked spectacular as always, and suddenly the evening sucked less.

“Myles. Meet David.”

Myles realized Brody was lying next to another man. Insult upon injury. Of course Brody was on the prowl. Once more the evening completely sucked. But Brody was his friend, so he'd put on his game face. “Hello, David. It's always a pleasure meeting one of Brody's ‘friends', especially just after I've been dumped.”

Brody rolled his eyes, but his face held a look of sympathy. “Want me to come over?”

Myles smiled. Of course, that was what he wanted. “That depends. Do you like strawberries infused with cognac hand dipped in dark chocolate?”

Brody chuckled.

Myles was aware that David was witnessing the exchange.

“Strawberries and cognac?” David asked. “Can I come?”

Without missing a beat Brody turned to him. “You already did. Twice.”

They both laughed, then Brody turned his attention back to the phone, spouted off a quick, “I'll be right there” and hung up.

David was confused when Brody slipped his jeans on, but the look on both Myles' and Brody's faces when they saw each other made it clear. David was no competition for Myles' attention. Besides, David had gotten what he wanted and more. He certainly wasn't going to complain. It was best that the evening ended this way.

Brody kissed David deeply. “Thanks.”

“For what?”

Brody laughed. “For being a good guy; for looking like your photo.”

“And?” David was being coy.

“I'm sure you know,” Brody said. “But okay, I'll say it. For the evening; it was great.” Brody meant it, but still nothing made him feel better than knowing he was going to see his best friend.

***

Brody noticed that everything looked absolutely flawless. Myles didn't even have a hair out of place, and the apartment looked just as perfect. They sat at the still decked out table and Brody couldn't help himself. “Since when did you start fucking Martha Stewart?” There was a twinkle in his eye.

“One does what one has to, to get a man,” Myles answered. His tone was joking but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

“Well, I've had a lot of men, and I've never once injected a strawberry with cognac. Well, not in the literal sense.” They both chuckled at the naughty turn of phrase.

Then Myles thought of the disastrous evening he'd just endured and felt worse than ever. “It doesn't matter anyway. I'm done. I'm in my mid-thirties. Time to acknowledge the fact that I'm destined to be a gay spinster. If the thought of dog hair everywhere didn't disgust me, I'd be a gay cliché.”

“Trust me, you don't need the small dog to be a gay cliché.”

“Thank you so much.” He gave Brody a look of mock irritation. “Either way, I'm tired and done. I'm finished chasing men only to have my heart broken every time.”

Brody had to do something; he didn't know exactly what. He couldn't stand to see Myles put himself through the wringer like this. Maybe if he made Myles do something different, got him out of his comfort zone. What could he do? Hmmm. Well, what about a sex store? He was sure Myles had never been to one. He could just see his reaction—the guy who never did anything new.

It might be fun too. “Come on,” he told Myles, “you need a little shopping spree. If you're going to be single, you're going to need the proper tools, and I know exactly where to get them!”

Myles could detect Brody's mischievous grin a mile away. He knew he was up to no good and the night would take them to a crazy and unfamiliar place. Myles knew he needed a bit of fun, and Brody was the man for the job. He smiled and braced himself for what he knew would be a new adventure.

Brody led Myles into Chi Chi Larue's, an adult toyshop on Santa Monica Blvd. Chi Chi herself was widely known as the queen of gay porn. Techno music pulsated; purple and pink light bathed a sea of dildos, videos and various sex toys that were beyond Myles' comprehension.

Brody on the other hand was a regular.

“What are you getting me into?” Myles shouted above the music.

Brody ignored him, his eyes already surveying the aisles.

Myles has never been in such a place before. Of course, he had known they existed but not to this extent! Yet Brody had entered as casually as another person might enter a Starbucks for morning coffee. To Myles it seemed surreal—the music, the abundance of “toys”, the porn books and magazines. If Brody wanted to shock him, he'd succeeded. Myles let his gaze wander here and there.
Astounding,
he thought. He couldn't process it all, couldn't even imagine what a lot of the things he saw were for. It boggled his mind.

Brody headed straight for the toys and then turned to Myles. “If I know you, an evening of kinky sex means using your left hand. And your toy arsenal is nothing more than a two-year old jar of lube.”

Myles felt amused and only slightly annoyed that Brody was right.

“Being single requires the proper equipment, and there's no better place to get it than here!” Brody picked up cylinder with a mouth attached to it. It was a “fleshjack”. He handed it to his friend. “Here you go. Better than a real mouth. Why? Because it doesn't speak!” He cracked himself up.

Next up was a large sculpted dildo, modeled after porn-star Jeff Stryker's cock. “Take this… so there's no more gambling with what's on the other side of the zipper.” He glanced into Myles' eyes. “Let's be honest. No one likes to unwrap the whopper only to find they skimped on the pickle.” He held thumb and finger a couple of inches apart. “Now you can come home to Jeff Stryker every night.”

Obviously, Myles was impressed but also a bit horrified by the size of the silicon cock. It looked more like a bludgeon than a sex toy.

Brody continued. “Mini projector for the bedroom ceiling. You can watch your favorite pornos in wide-screen above you.”

Myles shook his head. “One can see you've done extensive research on the subject of sex.”

“I only know how to do a few things. But… the things I'm good at, I'm an expert on.”

Brody filled a basket with the toys. When they turned, they were face to face with Chi Chi.

“So good to see you again, honey,” she purred to Brody. “Looks like you two boys are in for one hell of a night.”

“Oh! No, no,” Myles answered. “This isn't for us. We're just friends. It's all for me.”

Brody and Chi Chi just stared at Myles for a moment. Myles felt his face turn red. In the effort to prevent a misunderstanding he'd made matters worse! Brody tried to contain his smile as he watched Myles' face turn bright red.

“Ooo,” Chi Chi growled deep in her throat. “Aren't you the little tiger?” She clawed the air seductively.

Brody didn't bother hiding his laughter that time.

“Well, I'm not going to use it all tonight. Who could?” Myles laughed uncomfortably.

Brody and Chi Chi shared another look but seemed to come to an agreement not to say anything.

At the cash register, a still red-faced Myles pulled out his wallet.

“Uh uh,” Brody said, “it's on me. Consider it your ‘singles emergency kit'.”

Myles usually felt uncomfortable when Brody wanted to pay for anything, and it often led to a dispute. But this time he let it go. Yes, Myles made vastly more money than a regular cop, but Brody was by no means starving. Besides, Myles thought, he could never justify spending his money on this sort of thing, and it did seem important to Brody. Why not try something new?

Back at his apartment building Myles thanked Brody and promised him he'd be all right.

“Now look,” Brody told him in a flirtatious tone, “if you need instructions on any of the toys, give me a call.”

“I'm sure I won't,” Myles said dryly and shook his head and waved as Brody drove off.

Back in his apartment, he set down his goody bag from Chi Chi's. Myles smiled ear to ear. Who knew such a terrible night could end up being so much fun? The dirty dishes and remnants from the latest break up still cluttered the dining room table. He knew he'd never be able to sleep with this mess left behind. Besides, he wanted all evidence of a bad evening stricken from the record. Dishes washed, candles put away and linens in the washing machine. Everything was almost as it was before his last date with Kodi. After clearing the table he grabbed the bowl of strawberries. He smiled thinking about Brody's being there to support him. As different as they were from each other, Brody had always been a great friend when the chips were down. He might sometimes show up late and hungover, but he would show.

Myles ate the last strawberry and thought, not bad. Not bad at all. He put the bowl in the dishwasher along with the silverware and dirty dishes. Next he straightened the place mats and made sure everything was back the way it should be.

In his bedroom, he hid the new toys in his bedside table.
Baby steps,
he thought. Myles undressed but before getting in bed took a look at himself in the mirror. He turned left and then right. “Kodi doesn't know what he missed tonight,” he said aloud.

He pulled back the sheets and climbed under the covers. A quick video on the iPad would might do him some good. He was a little wound up after his trip with Brody. Maybe a few episodes of “Steam Room Stories” on You Tube? They always put a smile on his face. Hot boys doing silly sketch comedy, why not? Either that or a Food Network cooking show. He finally decided on the latter–a cooking show. No need to get himself worked up again watching sexy men. He'd had enough of that for the evening. Brody in
Chi Chi Larue's definitely bordered on things Myles' should not be replaying in his head this late at night.

***

Brody handed the food truck vendor a twenty and told him to keep the change. The sun was shining, birds chirping.
Beautiful Los Angeles,
Brody thought. Another day in paradise. He and Richard grabbed their tacos and sat on the hood of their cruiser, both in full uniform. Another day on the job as LA's finest.

“I can't believe you make me eat here,” Richard complained, not that it stopped him from shoving the food into his mouth.

Brody rolled his eyes. Richard didn't like to try new things, and food trucks weren't excluded. “Are you kidding? Everyone knows the best food in LA comes from food trucks.”

“Yeah, so does e coli.” He took another bite and then turned toward his partner. “I'm Mexican. I know how this is made!”

Brody chuckled. “Admit it; it's delicious, and this is my new favorite spot, so you're just going to have to deal with it.” Brody reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a plastic egg. “Hey, Myles and I went toy shopping last night. I got you something. It's a sex toy.”

Richard took it and looked it over. “If this goes where I think it does, you and I are about to have a problem, partner.”

Brody laughed. “It doesn't. It's a sleeve you use to cover your junk when you jerk off. Just trust me on this. You'll like it. It feels amazing—better than the real thing.”

Richard looked at him as to say, “Really? Better than the real thing?”

Brody knew he was probably thinking about boundaries and how Brody ignored them. Well, Brody was honest about it. Not everyone could handle this sort of thing, but Richard could. This was one of the things that made him choose Brody as a partner years earlier.

Brody could read his expression like a third grade textbook. He and Richard were great partners and friends. There wasn't anything that Brody didn't know about Richard and vice versa. Two men who had been partners on the force as long as they were and who spent whatever free time they both had together were inevitably going to form a bond–almost as strong as the bond Brody had with Myles.

He responded to Richard's look, “Of course not as good as the real thing, but definitely a close second and certainly better than your hand!”

Richard just shook his head.

“I took Myles shopping to try to cheer him up. He just broke up with his newest boyfriend. I bought him a bunch of toys and thought I'd pick you up a little something too,” Brody said.

“Myles broke up with another one? I feel so bad for that guy.”

“Me too, Myles is a bit much.”

“No. I meant Myles.”

Brody was surprised. “You feel bad for Myles? Don't! If you want to pity someone, try me. Myles and I made a deal ten years ago that if we were single by the time we're thirty-five, we'd be a couple! What am I going to do?”

Richard laughed. “That's ridiculous. Myles is a successful, smart lawyer. He can do so much better than you!”

“Right. I… What?”

Richard got a cheap shot in at Brody, who was surprised yet pleased at Richard's cleverness. Brody's sense of humor definitely was rubbing off on him.

“Besides, I don't know what you're complaining about. I think it's a great idea. You'd be lucky to be with someone like Myles.”

The surprise turned to shock. Was Richard kidding? For someone who was supposed to know him well, Brody was amazed at how wrong he was. Well, just chalk it up to his being hetero. What did straight guys know about gay men anyhow? Richard was way off in the weeds on this one! “Absolutely not. That's the last thing in the world I need! Myles turns thirty-five in a month. That means we have thirty days to find him a new boyfriend so I'm off the hook!”

“Not us, my friend. Just you. I'm not getting involved in this.”

“What?”

“Dum, dum, de dum,” Richard sang. “Here comes the bride.”

“That's not funny!”

Richard couldn't stop laughing. “Are you sure… because I think it's hysterical!”

***

Brody and Richard drove along Santa Monica Boulevard. When time permitted, Brody loved to drive cut through WeHo. Not just for the sake of checking out the guys walking along the street but to drive Richard a little nuts as well. It was the little things in life that meant so much sometimes.

“Now that is one cute little boy there in shorts and flip flops,” Brody said with a grin.

“Why do you always do this to me? Just once I'd love to check out the ladies on Melrose shopping for short skirts and tight t-shirts,” Richard moaned.

“Learn to enjoy the best of both worlds.”

“I'd rather enjoy a nice ass in tight jeans.”

“We have those too.”

“A girl's ass, please.”

Brody laughed. “All right, I've probably tortured you enough for one day. You can't blame me for trying.”

Richard shook his head. He knew Brody's routine all too well.

“I'll cut down to Melrose so you can…”

Richard interrupted and got serious, “Hold on second.”

Brody could hear it in his partner's voice. Something wasn't quite right.

“Over there,” he pointed at two suspicious looking men wearing long coats on a summer's day walking into a convenience store. One of the man's wrists had a pair of handcuffs hanging from it.

“I see ‘em,” Brody replied.

He quickly pulled the squad car to the curb. The two of them hopped out and cautiously moved to the side of the store. Brody carefully peaked in the window. He could see the clerk staring uncomfortably at the two men. They were doing all the talking as the clerk listened–his eyes wide. The clerk, a man in his early sixties, pointed nervously towards the back of the store. One of the men indicated “move” with his head. They followed the clerk towards the back but not before glancing at the front door to make sure the coast was clear.

“It looks like we have a 211,” Brody said.

“I'll call it in,” Richard replied. He clicked on his walkie-talkie mike clipped to his shirt. “Dispatch, this is 98. We have a 211 in progress at Franklin's Hardware. Request back up.”

“This is Dispatch, 98. Back up on the way.”

Brody looked at Richard. They nodded. No time to wait for back-up.

Guns drawn, they entered the hardware store slowly and quietly; then the bell above the door tinkled loudly. The two cringed. They couldn't believe their luck.

Brody indicated with his head,
got to go now!

They spread out and started systematically moving through the store, each time peaking down the next aisle cautiously. Brody spotted the three men talking at the back. The man with the handcuffed wrist was gesturing wildly. The clerk was still wide-eyed.

“I need this off my wrist right now,” blurted the man with the handcuffs. He turned to his partner in crime, “What if I'm seen?”

His accomplice talked quickly, “We're going to need money.”

“I understand. I just don't want anyone to get hurt,” the clerk nervously replied.

“Freeze!” shouted Brody. “Hands up and where we can see them. Right now.”

The three men turned to find Brody and Richard pointing their guns at them.

The second of the two men let out a yelp and fell backwards hitting a large stack of paint cans knockin
g them to the floor.
As he flopped about,
Brody and Richard
could see his trench coat had come open. He was wearing
nothing but
shoes and black leather underwear, which had a policeman's badge, stitched into the crotch area. Brody and Richard stared at the men for a second and then lowered their guns.