Authors: JC Calciano
Tags: #contemporary fiction, #contemporary gay romance, #contemporary romance, #gay fiction, #gay romantic comedy, #LBGT, #romance, #romantic comedy
Myles sat in his office, an 80's love song playing on the computer speakers. He hummed along loudly as he worked until the chirp of a text stopped him. It was from Brody. “BUSY LATER?”
Myles typed a reply, “CAN'T. SEEING HUNTER AGAIN.”
Diane entered Myles' office and pulled the plug from the speakers. There was blessed silence. She couldn't bear another bad 80's love song pouring through the wall to her office next door. Every time Myles fell in love, he'd blast Phil Collins, Lionel Richie, or Sade. It'd been a week of this crap and Myles humming along. She'd had enough. Besides, it was her turn to talk and she wanted to share some news.
“Why'd you do that?” Myles asked.
“Someone's been getting a lot of WWF smack-down-scream-all night- so-the-neighbors-bang- on-the-wall-style sex.”
“It shows?” said he asked coyly. He was slightly embarrassed. The old songs had apparently given him away.
“I'm talking about myself and my spicy Latin lover.”
He gave her a big smile. “You and Richard? Last night?”
“It was kind of like a spinning class. Hot and sweaty, but with handcuffs, a nightstick, and pepper spray.” She grinned.
“Pepper spray? Okay...” Myles didn't know what to make of her statement, joking or not.
“What about you and Hunter? Judging from your recent playlist of eighties love songs, I'd say it's going pretty well for you too.”
Myles noted that she was only too happy to share the news about her and Richard but obviously, craving gossip, as always, she also wanted to hear the details of Myles' love life. The perfect friendship balance.
Myles tapped his computer, and a screensaver of Hunter appeared. “Take a look; tell me what you think.” And there was Hunter, dressed in his vest and wife beater, a sexy grin on his face.
Very sexy,
Diane thought. Only two weeks and he'd changed his screen-saver to a selfie of himself with his new boy. Myles was again clearly in love. How over-the-top Myles was, she thought. She couldn't help but tease him a little bit about his new crush. “You, my friend, are just an easy-bake oven away from being a twelve-year-old girl, aren't you?”
Myles looked at the shot of him and Hunter and realized, only slightly chagrined, that she was right. But it was fine. He was in love and nothing was going to bother him.
It was a tradition in the police station for a more experienced officer to take the new recruits outs for a drink. Part welcoming; part hazingâbut all in fun. This time it had been Brody's turn. O'Malley's Pub was their go-to place. Any officer who enjoyed a drink had gotten at least a little tipsy there, if not full-on shit-faced drunk. Brody rolled in like the mayor with the younger officers in tow. One of him and six of them, but he was sure he could out drink all of them.
Brody ordered the first round of beers and shots. The ranking officer paid first. After that the recruits each paid for a round for everyone.
He spent the night regaling them with stories about the force. What to expect. What not to expect. He listed off all the local establishments that offered discounts to cops, as well as where to get the strongest coffee and the best donuts, and how to stay off the Captain's shit list, something he himself was not especially good at.
The next morning, hung over and feeling half sick, Brody entered the gym where Richard was working out on the bench press machine.
“You okay, partner?” he asked Brody.
“I went out with the new recruits last nightâto O'Malley's Pub. I'm not sure which are worse to get your drink on at, the gay bars or the Irish ones.” He rubbed his eyes with the tips of his fingers. There was a sledgehammer beating inside his head, and he felt completely hung over.
“I guess it depends on what you're looking for at the end of the rainbow,” Richard added.
“At this point I'd settle for a well-hung leprechaun,” Brody joked as he bent down, adjusted some weights, and began to lift them. His head was splitting and what he needed was a Bloody Mary, but that wasn't going to happen. Couldn't have any suspects smelling his breath.
“That's why I'm glad I'm dating again. I'm in bed by ten p.m.”
“If I ever go to sleep at ten, put a bullet in me.” Brody was determined to not be one of those guys in their mid thirties who are in bed before midnight no matter how early his morning shift was.
“I'm telling you, this past week has been great, and the sex with Diane is amazing. Which reminds me, I need some more pepper spray.”
Brody laughed. “I'm not going to ask. Besides, the visual of Diane having sex is really not something I want in my head for the rest of the day.”
“Really? Because I do.” Richard winked and flashed his pearly whites at Brody.
“It's been a couple of weeks for Myles too with this new guy he met online. I know because I'm patiently waiting for him to get dumped.” Brody grunted as he worked the weights. Actually, he didn't know how he felt about Myles' relationship with this new guy. They'd been together two weeks now, and Myles seemed really happy for the first time in a long time. He was glad for Myles in that the thing with Hunter had lasted at least beyond a first meeting. But could it continue? He hoped it would, he told himself. But if that were true, why was he feeling down? It didn't make sense. He should be happy for his friend.
“Oh, yeah.” Richard gave him a strange look. “That's the kind of healthy, positive support a best friend deserves.”
The exercise and the booze were making Brody sweat. “Hey. I'm just standing by like I always do⦔ He lowered the weight to the floor. “â¦to pick up the pieces when his heart gets broken again.”
“Admit it. You miss him.”
Brody stood and faced him. “You don't know what you're talking about.” He ran an arm across his dripping forehead. He swore he could still smell last night's vodka coming out of his pores. Okay, maybe Richard was right. Maybe he did miss him⦠a little. Who was he kidding? He missed him a lot. It just wasn't the same when they didn't get together anymore. Brody never thought he'd admit it, but he was lonely. He couldn't remember the last time he'd missed anyone.
“If you say so, but I do know this... if he were my friend and I missed him, I'd pick up a few beers, some Chinese take-out and stop by his house after work to see him.”
“Well, you're not me and I don't need your advice.” Who did Richard think he was? Brody's mother? He didn't need Richard's advice. It was stupid thing to say, and he was determined to ignore it.
***
Myles was just putting the finishing touches on a perfectly set dinner table. Every dish and every piece of silverware were in place, as were the linen napkins and a silver candelabra. Everything was perfect and soon Hunter would arrive. There was a knock at the door.
“Come in!” The door opened and Brody entered carrying a bag of Chinese food and a six-pack of beer just as Richard had prescribed.
“Brody!” Myles seemed really surprised.
Body wondered why, as he set down the food. “I thought it would be nice if I surprised you with dinner.”
“That's so good of you, but I already have plans for tonight.”
Brody suddenly noticed the set table for the first time. Beautiful and elegant. Complete with candles and all. It was warming and inviting. Myles' home was the home that he always dreamt that one day he'd have. Oh, man, he'd really screwed up. He was embarrassed that he had assumed Myles would be free. He decided to deflect his disappointment with humor. “I see. Having Liberace over for dinner tonight?” Though he tried to joke about it, he felt dumb, embarrassed. He never should have taken Richard's advice. How was he so out of the loop that he hadn't heard about Myles planning a big evening?
“It's the first time Hunter is coming here. I wanted to do something special.” Myles looked a little bummed that Brody wasn't part of the plans for the evening. How awesome of Brody to surprise him with Chinese food. Part of Myles was excited to entertain Hunter this evening, and a quiet part of him would rather it be Brody.
Well, that was that, Brody thought. “Maybe you and I can do something another day then?” In addition to the embarrassment he felt a tinge of regret. What the hell was this? The loner. The guy who didn't need anyone else. Yeah, right. It was a little bit disturbing to find out he had emotions like everyone else. He certainly wasn't going to give in to them. He'd quickly lock them away and ignore them.
“You know you're welcome to stay and join us.” It sounded awkward but it was a sincere invitation from Myles.
“Don't be ridiculous. I don't do threesomes,” Brody fired back.
“Since when?”
They both laughed as Myles glanced at the table. “Too much isn't it?”
“No.” Brody looked into Myles' eyes. “It's excessive and over-the-top, but it's you. That's what I think is so nice about it. Other guys may find it terrifying, but I think it's wonderful.” And he did because Myles tried so hard to please. And that was a good thing. Except Brody wished he didn't try so hard that he set himself up for a fall.
“You like that about me?”
“That you're psycho? Of course. It makes me look normal.” Brody paused for a moment. “Look, finish getting ready. We'll get together tomorrow, okay?”
“Happy hour?”
Brody smiled. “Sure.” He looked across the table at Myles in his apron and with an oven mitt in hand. The perfect husband to someone who was smart enough to realize what a great guy he really was.
***
Well that was a dumb waste of time and effort,
Brody thought as he exited Myles' apartment and sat in his car with his Chinese food in hand.
What the hell,
Brody thought. He might as well make use of some of the food he'd bought. He had nowhere to go and the food was fresh and hot now. Might as well eat it here, he told himself. He opened a container of Kung Pao chicken, pulled a plastic fork from the bag it came in and began to eat. He really shouldn't have shown up at Myles' place unannounced. He should have known Myles and the new guy â⦠what was his name? Hunter. Yeah sure, it was â would be getting together for one of Myles' fabulous dinners sooner or later.
He glanced up at Myles' apartment, pulled out his cell and launched the Grindr app. The image of a man who said his name was Stone appeared on the screen. Yeah, about as likely a name as Hunter. What did he care? He'd probably never see the guy again anyhow. Brody was lonely and wanted someone to be with. This guy fit the bill and lived close by.
He didn't care who it really was, just another nameless guy. It was just a quick “blow and go” for Brody. He quickly took a few more bites of his food and washed it down with a beer.
Let's do this,
he thought to himself as he started the car and headed into the night.
Shortly afterward, Brody pulled up outside Stone's apartment. The door opened to reveal a slender, attractive man dressed in a vintage CBGB tee shirt and black skinny jeans. “Hey, I'm Stone.”
“Brody. Nice to meet you.”
“Come in. Can I get you a beer?”
“Sure. Looks like you've done this before.”
“Maybe once or twice.” He smirked, indicating that they both knew that they had done this many times before. He closed the door as Brody stepped inside.
***
Myles finished setting up the liquor bottles as he put the finishing touches on everything. He looked at the clock on the wall. It was seven on the dot. He took off his apron, hung it on a hook in the kitchen, and walked to the bathroom where he turned on the shower. He hoped things turned out okay. As usual, he'd done his best. But there was always that nagging little doubt. Had he forgotten anything?
“Shit!” he said aloud. “I forgot the ice.” He'd draw a quick bath and then call Hunter and ask him to bring some with him.
***
Brody appraised the other man and liked what he saw. “So how do you want to do this?”
“Quickly. I've got dinner in an hour.”
“I'm okay with being an appetizer.”
The man smiled and pulled off his shirt revealing a lean sculpted body with just the right amount of chest hair .
“Just so you know,” Brody told him, “you may be late for dessert.”
“Fine by me.”
Brody shed his own shirt, and the two of them kissed and headed quickly to the bedroom where they fell into bed ready for a quick hot fuck. Then the man's phone rang.
“Ignore it,” he said. “It's probably just my date tonight. He's obsessive compulsive.”
“How annoying.”
“Right!” he agreed, as they reached for each other and the phone continued to ring.
“I can't,” Brody said not wanting to be annoyed by an overbearing date determined to talk to the guy he's about to have sex with. “Just get it.”
“I'll send it to voice-mail.” He pulled the phone from his pocked and pressed a button, but not before Brody thought he saw Myles' picture on the phone's caller ID.
Oh, shit,
he thought. This
was not
possible. “Please tell me your name's not Hunter.”
“Of course, it isn't.”
“Good. Whew.” He lay back.
“Hunter's a hook-up name⦠like Stone.”
Brody quickly sat up.
Damn it,
he thought. Out of all the guys on Grindr! What the hell were the odds of this? “Oh, fuck me.” This couldn't be happening. Of all the men in L.A. Shit!
“Sure,” Hunter answered, “If you want me to top.”
“No. I mean as in: âGod damn it'.” Brody felt a tightness in his throat. How could this happen?
“What's the problem?”
“That's my best friend! Damn! I really wanted you to turn out to be a good guy.”
“I am a good guy.” He paused, considering. “Well, maybe not marriage material.”
“I gotta go.” Frantic, he jumped from the bed and strode to the living room, followed by Hunter. Quickly, he pulled on his clothes trying to process what had just happened and how he'd explain it to Myles.
At the front door Hunter grabbed his arm. Brody was hot and Hunter was horny. Why was he freaking out? Hunter wanted to play around a bit and they still had plenty of time.
“Chill out. This is no big deal.”
Now Brody was really pissed. This guy was leading Myles on and didn't even care about him. Damn it. “Actually it is. Myles is going to freak out when he hears that I almost slept with his boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend? We're not boyfriends. Myles is a nice guy and a decent lay, but that's about where it ends.”
“Don't make me knock you out.” It had been a long time since Brody had been this angry. Brody's fears had just been actualized. Myles had fallen for a guy who didn't give a shit about him and was about to break his heart again.
“Hey. You're in my house, remember?” he warned, starting to get angry.
“Listen! This is the way it's going to happen. You go have dinner tonight with Myles and don't say a word about this. It never happened.” Brody was in damage control mode. If nothing else, he'd try to contain the damage that this would cause.
“You know what? Why don't you get out? I'm serious. Now.”
“I'm not done here.” Broody seethed.
“Actually, yes you are. And if you don't go, I'll call the cops.”
Body laughed in his face while taking an aggressive stance. “I
am
a cop.”
“Well if that's the case, then I'll call Myles and tell him that I just hooked up with his best friend... the cop.”
Brody let out a long breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He could clearly see that this was escalating into a no-win situation for him. If it was going to get settled, it would have to be through diplomacy. This guy was unfortunately holding all the cards and Brody knew that he could be the big loser in this situation.
“Okay. Relax. I'll go, but you have to agree not to be an asshole to Myles. Be cool, have dinner with him tonight and don't say a word about this, okay? I'm asking nicely.” He figured Hunter's listening to him was about as certain as a foot of snow in L.A. but he had to try to settle this amicably.