Thawing A Duke's Heart (Faces of Love Series #1) (5 page)

* * *

T
hanks to Elisabeth
and Dunlop’s courtship, I had pacified my mother for the last three weeks. She was completely mollified that Dunlop had only eyes for my dear friend when she learned that I would be accompanying a Duke instead of a Marquess. It had been irritating at first, but then it kept her from nagging me. I may have stretched the truth a bit here and there to make it seem like the Duke and I were also courting, but it was worth the lie to get her off my back.

I was sitting with Julia, drinking tea in the drawing room and aimlessly flipping through a novel I had read several times, when Mother burst into the room. Her saffron silk gown was fluttered around her in her haste.

“You will never guess the exciting news I bring with me,” she sang as she waved a correspondence in her hand.

I set aside my novel and Julia set aside her embroidery. When Mother was in an excited fit as she was now, it was best just to let her get it out before anything could resume as normal. Once Mother realized that she had our full attention though, she proceeded to sit and take some tea and crumpets before starting. She loved having all attention waiting on her. I did my best not to roll my eyes.

“Well,” she finally started after finishing her first pastry. “I had been working to have the Dunlops over for a family dinner since the ball. I was hoping to give you an opportunity with Lord Dunlop. See, it would have been easy, since he is staying with the Cadwell’s, to invite them over and extend the invitation to Lord Dunlop. Things didn’t work out as expected, though quite better, if you ask me. More than I could have ever expected of you. So instead I have secured a family dinner with Duke Gaffton.”

I sat upright in shock. Gaffton had no idea that I had been feeding my mother lies about us to pacify her, or he would be horrified to be invited for a family dinner with us. Not to mention the fact that it would be completely inappropriate for him to come to our house alone without us officially courting or engaged, and having no other reasonable connection to the family.

“Mother, I don’t know if that is a good idea,” I started. Before I could continue though, she held up her hand to shush me. Apparently, I was going to have to hear the whole of her scheming.

“Now of course I couldn’t just invite him for an intimate family dinner. Your father’s health wouldn’t allow for a reasonable large party dinner, not to mention all of the best nights for such activities have already been taken by other ladies of the ton.” She waved her hand as if the fact that a dinner party would push us into the poor house was of no concern. “So instead I have been waiting for the perfect opportunity. You see, the Duke is not staying with the Cadwells as Lord Dunlop is. I couldn’t just merely extend the invitation as I had hoped with Dunlop. Instead, I had to wait for the perfect night. A night when I could invite the Cadwells and the Duke.”

Mother sat back in satisfaction, as if any of this was making sense to either of us. Julia and I exchanged confused looks, wondering if the other had caught something one might have missed.

Mother huffed in disappointment when we didn’t understand how she could have managed to invited the Duke to a family dinner at our house. “You see, I have been going over there almost daily and visiting with Lady Cadwell. I have been biding my time for the right opportunity. It has finally come! While there, I heard Lord Dunlop speak of an engagement he has tomorrow night. I waited until the Duke was present and mentioned to Lady Cadwell that we would love to have them for dinner that particular night. Of course, not wanting to be rude,” Mother said with a little bit too much self-satisfaction. “I also invited Lord Dunlop and Duke Gaffton. Of course Lord Dunlop had to decline and the Duke had no choice but to accept.”

Mother wiped her hands like she had just completed manual work. I crumpled down into my chair.
A whole dinner with the Duke of Gaffton and my family
? It was going to be a disaster. My mother would of course blab and dote on all the things she thought were happening between us. I couldn’t decide what would be worse, the humiliation of Gaffton calling me out on my lies or Mother’s incurring wrath that would no doubt follow. There was no way I would be able to get Gaffton to play along. He was not only an upright gentleman who would never dream of deception, but he was also a self-proclaimed lifelong bachelor. He would never play along with courting me to satisfy my family. As of yet, it was a purely happenstance dinner, and no one would be aware of the beguiling my mother went to in order to make it so, and I had to think of a way to make it stay that way. I debated what was the lesser of two evils, to tell my mother I had stretched the truth of the purpose of all our outings, or to ask Gaffton to fake a courtship for one night.

Luckily, Mother announced that she must hurry along to begin tomorrow’s preparations, but more realistically, she was going to tell the whole story to anyone and everyone willing to listen. I had a sinking feeling that I was already doomed.

“Mother?” Julia asked. “What is the paper you waved around in your hand?”

“Oh, this. Well, the Duke hadn’t given me an answer right at that moment. He said that he would need to check with some scheduling. I just received his written response to attend. He is such a well brought up gentleman, isn’t he?

He will make a fine son in law,” she said whimsically.

“Mother!” I chimed in, shocked. “No such intentions have been spoken…”

“Oh yes, yes. I know,” she said with a loving pat on my lap. “But from what you have said, and his insistence on seeing you almost every day, it is quite clear, my dear.”

How could I tell her that his insistence was on chaperoning Dunlop and I was only there at the wish of Elisabeth?
I opened my mouth to say something, to clear the air of all my wrongdoings, but no words came out. Mother gave me another loving pat and turned to hurry out again.

What was I to do? Like a premonition, I could already see the disaster of a dinner that tomorrow night would bring.
However, I had one more day
, I thought determinedly. I could find a way to fix this by then. I was sure of it.

“For someone about to have an intimate meal with one’s beau, you seem awfully troubled,” Julia said after Mother had fully cleared the room. No matter how hard I tried to hide any feelings, Julia was always able to see into my innermost thoughts.

“He is not my beau,” I retorted sullenly.

“Of course he is! All those drives in Hyde Park, walks in the gardens, he even dances with you at balls.”

It was true that Duke Gaffton had often asked me to dance at various events over the last few weeks. I also hadn’t been blind to the fact that he never asked other ladies to dance. The reality of the reason had been much simpler and nothing to do with romance or courtship. Any time that the four of us had been together and Dunlop and Elisabeth had gone off to dance, the Duke had asked me. It was merely him being a gentleman and not wanting to desert me.

“Julia, I haven’t been completely truthful with all of you. Most of those things I have just said because I wanted Mother to stop pressuring me.”

“You mean you haven’t been going out with the Duke?”

“Well, no, I mean yes,” I huffed a long sigh. This was going to be harder than I expected. I had always told Julia everything. I had just been so busy these last few weeks, giving Elisabeth every opportunity to find moments with Dunlop, that I now saw that I had neglected our closeness. “Let me just start from the beginning.”

Twenty minutes later, I had finished laying out the whole of my tale. How the Duke was, yes, a very reasonable and kindly gentleman, but he also could be infuriating and maddening. More importantly though, that he in truth had no romantic interest in me. He didn’t believe in love or romance at all.

Julia sat silently and patiently as I told my whole story. “That doesn't explain why he danced with you, or insisted on taking you home after your mishap at the park. I think he likes you more than you or maybe even he knows.”

“I think you are just trying to see something where there is nothing to be seen. Even worse, you know Mother. She will be going on and on about him being my beau in front of the Cadwells and the Duke himself. I am terrified. How he will respond to that? What if he thinks I was trying to deceive him? It was never my intention. He is probably the last man on the entire earth I would be willing to marry, let alone attempt an elaborate plan to ensnare him in marriage. But he may think that is what I have done.”

“Well, if you don't care for him, as you say you don’t, then why do you even care what he thinks?”

I pondered this for a moment.
Should I really care? Why did it twist fierce knots in my stomach?
I couldn’t bear the thought that Gaffton may think me one of those frivolous girls that spend all their time tricking men for their title and riches.

“I don’t care,” I tried to say with as much conviction as possible. One look into Julia’s blue eyes told me she wasn’t buying it. “I mean I do, but not because of what you think. Yes, he has become a friend of sorts. I don't want him to think I tricked him or trapped him. Plus, it will all just be embarrassing,” I added when I could tell that Julia didn’t believe a word I said.

I lay in bed that night, staring at my ceiling, wondering over it.
Why did I care? Was my attachment to Gaffton more than I had originally thought?
Yes, the man drove me batty when he was serious and unfeeling. Nevertheless, he wasn’t like that all the time. There were times when he laughed, when he smiled and showed me a warmer loving side. I thought of him calling out my name that day in the park as I was helplessly pulled by Clarisse. It sent knots of a different kind tangling into my stomach.
What was this feeling I had for him?

It certainly couldn't be love. That was impossible. I barely liked him most of the time, how could I have possible formed such a deep emotion for him? Not to mention the fact that he had plainly declared that he would not marry. He had no belief in love. How could I desire someone who took for naught something that I had held on to and treasured for so long?

* * *

A
fter a long and sleepless night
, I had determined that the best I could do was to go to Elisabeth in the morning and glean some help from her. I was sorely disappointed the next day to find Dunlop already in the drawing room with Elisabeth when I arrived at her parents’ home. It was still fairly early in the morning for company, and I was still wearing my white cotton morning dress with small rose embroidery. I had never expected anyone else to be calling on Elisabeth at such an unsociable hour.

I did my best to smooth out the cotton fabric as I sat across from them. They were sitting next to each other on a small green loveseat. I was getting the feeling that I had made a terrible mistake coming, and that I had intruded on something that was about to happen between them.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you. I hadn’t realized that you already had a guest,” I said nervously. I was so troubled and lacking in sleep that it was easy to see I was making things uncomfortable.

“Mary, there is obviously something troubling you. You don't look like you slept a wink last night. Please, tell me. You know I will help in any way I can,” Elisabeth said with concern etched on her brow.

“Well, I did come here for some advice, but,” I eyed Dunlop. “It’s about my mother. A dinner she has planned for tonight.”

Elisabeth waved Dunlop off. “Don’t worry about Geoffrey. I have told him everything.”

“Geoffrey?” I asked inquisitively, looking between the two of them.

Elisabeth blushed and cleared her throat at the slip. “I mean Lord Dunlop.”

It was easy to see that they were both red with embarrassment that she had slipped something so intimate to me. “Wait, what do you mean he knows everything?” I said, realizing what she had just said.

“Well, I know all about the dinner tonight with my uncle, aunt and Gaffton,” Dunlop replied. “Your mother must have been going to great lengths to make that happen. I also know how you and Elisabeth have hatched your little plan to keep Gaffton distracted and your mother mollified.”

I sat there shocked at the liberties that Elisabeth had taken with my private affairs. “Elisabeth, how could you?”

“I’m sorry, Mary. I can’t keep it all from him now. You see," she said in excitement. She looked to Dunlop for confirmation before finishing her sentence. He gave her a nod of encouragement. “We are going to be married.”

It was easy to see that she was overjoyed to tell me. My sudden hurt and anger melted into pure happiness. “You are?" I said, clasping my hands over my mouth in shock and excitement. “Oh my goodness! Congratulations! When did this happen?” I asked as I reached across the small table holding our tea to take Elisabeth’s hand.

“Just this morning. Geoffrey spoke to my father earlier this morning, and he had just come in to tell me we had his blessing when you arrived.”

“Elisabeth, I am so sorry. I came in here with my woe and misery and ruined this happy moment for you two.”

“Nonsense. We will have the rest of our lives for happiness. You, on the other hand,” Elisabeth stifled a little giggle. “May not live through the night when your mother finds out that you haven’t in fact been courting the Duke.”

I flopped back in my chair in a very unladylike manner. “What am I to do? I don't know what scares me more. When my mother finds out I made it all up, she will be furious. It will be worse than before. And Gaffton,” I sighed in exasperation. “He’ll think I tried to trick him. He will hate me, maybe even scorn me in front of everyone.”

“He wouldn’t do that,” Dunlop assured me.

“I know,” I said. “But he would think I tried to trick him. All his talk of frivolous women who waste their lives chasing men, and how love is nothing more than an illusion we use to trick another into bettering ourselves.” I put my head in my hands.

I didn’t know why I cared so much. An entire night of tossing and turning hadn’t answered that question for me. I did care, though. I cared if he hated me, if he thought I had tried to do him wrong. It would eat away at me. I was sure it would be worse than the rest of my life stuck next to a disapproving mother.

“I know that Gaffton can, at times, seem cold and distant. But he is not that way. You know this,” Dunlop tried to encourage me.

“I don’t know, he does seem very unfeeling at times,” Elisabeth chimed in. She grabbed Dunlop’s hand. “I know you are a good person and that you only see the good in others. The Duke is your friend. I think those two things combined only allow you to see the small good in him and blinds you from his bitterness.”

Now Dunlop let out a long sigh. “Perhaps it is time I told you girls why Gaffton is the way he is.” He took another deep breath. “He would kill me if he knew I told you this. This must stay in our strict confidence.”

He waited for both of us to node in agreement.

“When we were lads, it was arranged for Gaffton to marry the daughter of a family friend. They both had known about the arrangement practically since infancy. I knew her well too. She was a beautiful, intelligent young lady. We were good friends, the three of us. As we got older, it was clear that Gaffton’s feelings were more than just friends. It seemed only natural, after all, since they were to be wed. We were all eighteen when Abigail had her first season out. It was really just for formalities. Gaffton and Abigail’s parents were planning the wedding for the end of that season. Gaffton was head over heels in love with her by then. It was almost like a spell placed on him. She seemed to care for him too. They seemed as if they would end up happily ever after, just like in those children’s’ stories.” Dunlop trailed off.

He took a sip of his tea before continuing. “Halfway through the season, Abigail went missing. It was a week before they found her. She had run off with a young penniless lord. When Gaffton confronted her, she told him that she loved this man. That she had only agreed to marry Gaffton because of her parents’ encouragements and Gaffton’s inheritance. She met this other man and loved him dearly. She was sorry, told him that he would always be a dear friend to her, but nothing more. She said couldn’t go through with a lifetime without love.” Dunlop made a point to say the last in my direction.

“What did Gaffton do?” I asked.

Dunlop shrugged. “He loved her. For that reason, he gave her his well wishes. Her happiness was more important to him. He lived the next two years heartbroken, but knowing he had done the right thing in letting her go. He thought she was with the one love of her heart and that would bring him enough solace in his grief.” Dunlop said this last part forebodingly.

“But after two years, it was rumored that she was having an affair with another man, a man of means. Apparently, she had grown tired of being penniless. Soon, she was found to be with child from this other man. The last I heard of Abigail was that she was discreetly put away and the child given to relations. It was the last nail in the coffin around Gaffton’s heart. He had given her up for true love. Love that had only proven to be false. He has sealed himself tight since then. So you see, I may only see the good in people and ignore the bad, but I know why he is the way he is. His overbearing manner toward me, or Elisabeth these last few months, have only been because he is a good friend. He doesn’t want me to end up like he did.”

I was astonished by all that Dunlop had told me. I tried to picture Gaffton on those few occasions that he was happy, smiling, laughing. I didn’t know if I could picture a world where Gaffton was like this all the time. I didn’t know who this Abigail was, but for some reason, even the thought of her name sent spikes of rage up and down my body. If she had seen what I had seen in those small glimpses of happiness in him, and seen it all the time, how could she have possibly turned away from him?

I was confusingly filled with rage that the Duke had given her his love so freely and that she had thrown it to the swine so unwisely. I couldn’t blame someone for feeling a duty to their heart. Nevertheless, if I had learned anything from all my searches into love, it was that love is nothing without commitment.

“Here’s what I’ll do,” Dunlop said after giving us a moment to soak it all in. “I will go and talk with Gaffton this afternoon. It will ease the blow a bit if I tell him first. I can’t say that he will play along, but at least with time to mull it over, he won’t out you in front of everyone. At least I can spare you from one wrath.”

“But how could I face him again?” I asked, looking between the two of them.

“Elisabeth and I are engaged now,” Dunlop replied. “I doubt he will continue to find the need to chaperone us.

Which means you needn’t see him again.”

“If you don’t want to,” Elisabeth chimed in.

“Of course I don't want to,” I countered defensively. “I can’t say that it was all horrid, but it certainly wasn’t all good. I understand him better now, but that doesn't change the fact that he is now an unfeeling man who doesn’t believe in love. Why would I ever want to see someone like that again if I don't have to?

Neither Dunlop nor Elisabeth answered. I could tell they didn’t believe me. They probably shared Julia’s ridiculous fantasies that I had feelings for him. As I walked back to my own house, I told myself repeatedly that it just wasn't the case.

If nothing else, Dunlop’s revelations had only confirmed to me that I could never love a man like him. Sure, his hardship had been through no fault of his own, but the results had formed a man who was incapable of opening himself up ever again. That was the last person in the world I could possibly have feelings for, and even if I did, which I didn’t, he had made it quite clear that he would never have such feelings again, especially for a hopeless romantic like me.