That Wedding (51 page)

"You're lucky. You and Danny have a good relationship."

"He cried today, about the baby. I've never seen Danny cry. And I've been giving him a hard time. I just feel so, I can't even explain it, like I'm not even in control of my own body. Like I have this alien thing growing in me, changing my body, and kicking me. It's kinda freaky, but at the same time, it's so incredibly amazing. I've been sick and crabby and probably not very nice to him."

"He's worried about being a good dad, but he really loves you, and he really loves the baby."

"Yeah, I know. I'm incredibly lucky. We decided that we really can't understand what each other is going though and to just focus on the baby."

"Good. You know Danny's going to be an amazing father."

"That's one of the reasons I wanted to marry him so bad. He's so much fun, so full of life and love. And speaking of that, when are you two gonna have kids?"

"Not for a very long time."

"You're going to be amazing parents too. And Danny's right, having our kids grow up together would be so cool. You know, you're more like my sister than my real sister."

"Really? You have no idea what that means to me. You know, because it's just me." Tears start leaking out of my eyes again. What is wrong with me? Why can't I push the tears back anymore?

Lori grabs my hand quick and puts my palm across her belly. "Feel that?"

"Oh my God! The baby kicks hard! Lori, that's so freaking weird! Does it feel like that all the time?"

"It is kicking a lot now. I was telling Nick about it, and he keeps teasing Danny. Telling him the baby is gonna be a kicker and not a quarterback. That's why he's all
look the baby looks like it's throwing a pass
. Wouldn't it have been hilarious if the baby would've looked like it was kicking?"

"Nick's a loser. He was so funny in Vegas. He was giving me crap about being kinda drunk, but he was dancing with me."

"He only dances when he's drunk!"

Then I tell her about the spider from hell, Wayne's reaction and rescue, and Phillip strolling in for sex. And I maybe confide a little about how freaking amazing sex with Phillip is.

"I remember the first time you introduced me to Phillip. I think it's funny that we didn't get to be good friends until junior year."

"Well, that's cuz you never seemed like you wanted to have any fun."

"And it seemed like all you wanted to do was have fun. Do you remember when I asked you to introduce me to Phillip? We all thought he was so cute, but I'd never met him before."

"I don't remember that."

"We were dressed as slutty secretaries, and the guys were all in suits. Phillip looked good."

"Phillip always looks handsome in a suit."

"You were like,
Come on, I'll introduce you. He's my best friend and my roommate
. I'll never forget it. He and Blake were literally surrounded by girls. You sauntered over, walked through the girls. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed you on the cheek. The girls all gave you the dirtiest looks." She laughs. "Then you told him his tie was all fucked up."

"Oh, I do remember that. Phillip could never tie a tie. I always did it for him. And they were probably surrounding Blake. You know that's how he got his nickname, right? His Royal Hotness? Blakeness?"

She laughs. "I didn't know that. That's funny. Blake is a cutie. So anyway, you undid Phillip's tie and retied it. Then you stood back and looked at him. I swear, I knew then you loved him."

"You were always too smart for your own good."

"You introduced us then totally checked him out. Like stood back, looked him up and down. You told him he looked too uptight, stole his tie, and put it on you. He grabbed the end of the tie and pulled you in close to him. I really thought he was going to kiss you. Instead, he whispered in your ear. I always wondered what he said."

I laugh. "He told me I could tie him up later at home, and that my skirt was so short it was almost a crime."

"He always flirt with you like that?"

"I always kinda thought he was just playing around, but yeah, he did."

"Then we got drunk together."

"I didn't get drunk. You did though. I think I created a monster."

"You did teach me how to party."

"I think you always knew how to party. You were just afraid to let loose."

"That's true. We had a lot of fun. You wanna know what surprised me the most about you?"

"Sure."

"You kinda had a reputation as a party girl. And you knew so many guys. I thought you were slutty. I was surprised once I got to know you how good you were. Like you made out with a lot of guys, I just assumed you did more."

"I'm not a good girl, Lori."

"Jade, you didn't have sex until college."

I roll my eyes at her. "I knew lots of guys cuz of Phillip and Danny, and I just wanted to wait until I was in love. That didn't really work out so well."

"Like I said, closet good girl. Well, until Bradley."

"Yes, Bradley the bartender. He was supposed to be my first one night stand. But then it was so much fun, it turned into a bunch of one night stands."

"What about Danny?"

"What do you mean?"

"In Vegas, they were talking about you and Danny making out. It sounded like it was often. Was it? I always thought prom night was the last time you kissed."

"No, we kissed in college some. It wasn't a big deal."

"You never told me that."

"Because it didn't matter. Danny and I were friends. Sometimes we'd get drunk together and kiss. Usually after a loss. I think it was like comforting to him or something."

"So was it just kissing?"

"Pretty much."

"Just tell me, please."

"Why? It doesn't matter anymore. If I wanted Danny for myself, I would've never set the two of you up. When we kissed, he had yet to find love, and I'd found it but didn't know what to do with it. It didn't mean anything. It was just for fun. Like most things were with me and Danny. We just always had fun together."

"Danny says you always got into trouble together. I think you did more than kiss."

"Fine. We did more than kiss. There was even a time when he attacked me on the couch. It was like spur of the moment. I thought we were finally going to."

"What stopped you?"

"Phillip came home. It was pretty funny. Danny and I looked at each other, jumped up, and ran into our rooms. We never kissed after that."

"When was that?"

"Fall of my junior year. And I'm glad we didn't. Danny means a lot to me. I think sleeping with him would've been like crossing
Sleep with Danny Diamond
off my bucket list. Like every girl I knew wanted to sleep with him. My competitiveness sort of made me want to too."

"I didn't want to sleep with him."

"You were lying to yourself."

She giggles.

"Speaking of that," I say. "I think I might be lying to myself about Phillip."

She looks concerned. "Why would you say that?"

"I told you, we're failing couple's counseling."

"I thought you didn't care about couple's counseling."

"On the surface, I'm not taking it seriously, but I'm there. I'm listening, and I'm trying hard not to because I'm hearing stuff I don't wanna hear. What I'm hearing is that our marriage is going to be a failure."

"Oh, Jade, don't be silly."

I was gonna argue with her, but I remember something else I've been wanting to tell her. "Oh, I have something else to tell you! I almost forgot! I had another weird dream the other night."

"Tell me about it." Her face brightens. She loves reveling in my misery, I think.

"I'm still worried that with all these dreams that someone is trying to tell me something, or maybe I'm trying to tell myself, I'm not sure."

"Stop being so dramatic, Jade, and tell me about it."

"I'm not dramatic! That's like twice in the last few days someone has accused me of it. And I don't like it!!!"

"Fine. You're not being dramatic. Tell me!!!"

"Okay, so it's my wedding ceremony. It's gorgeous. There are candles lit on top of every pew, on every surface. I walk down the aisle in a beautiful Balenciaga gown. I have a gorgeous long flowing veil."

Lori interrupts me. "How do you know who Balenciaga is? Do they make wedding dresses?"

"I'm not sure,
Sex in the City
, maybe?"

"I know, I was telling you about that Balenciaga motorcycle bag that Mark Conway's wife got like the only one in Kansas City and how it cost like two thousand dollars."

She likes to think our conversations are so poignant that they're affecting my dreams.

"What's that got to do with the dress?"

"Nothing really, go on."

"So I go up to the altar. Phillip and I say our vows, and when the minister says,
You may kiss the bride
, Phillip pulls the veil over my head. That's when I FREAK! I can't do it! I can't go through with it! So I run down the aisle with my veil flying behind me. Of course, with all the candles, it catches fire, but I don't know that it's blazing behind me until people start screaming in horror."

"Oh, how awful," she says, but then she laughs.

"You're laughing at my dream?"

"Just a little, go on. You are entertaining, I will admit."

"So it's awful. I'm on fire, well, my veil is anyway. But luckily, when I get toward the back of the church, I see the back rows are filled with firemen."

"Firemen? What are firemen doing at your wedding?"

"I'm not sure. Did I tell you about Mrs. Mac's facebook status about the hot fireman working on the fire hydrant on their street? And how her, Mrs. D, and two other neighbors were pretending to sit outside and talk, just so they could drool over him?"

"No, you didn't! They both friend requested me, but I ignored them."

"You did?! Ohmigawd, you should totally add them. They're hilarious and sharing wayyy too much information. I laugh every day. It's cheap entertainment. So anyway, I left work, went out to join them, and it turns out the hot fireman was Ryan, this guy I dated freshman year. He was a senior, and the first boy I ever French kissed. Well, technically, I guess that was Danny, but that was more of a tutorial thing."

"Danny taught you how to French kiss?! Why have I never heard about this before?"

"It was dumb. I was super nervous about kissing Ryan because this other guy like shoved his tongue down my throat once, and it was awful. I didn't wanna be awful, so I begged Danny to tell me how to do it right. It's just one of those things you kinda have to do, so he took pity on me and showed me. Anyway, so I go over there, get out of my car, and he calls out my name. I told him about the ladies watching and asked him to pretend to get hot and take off his shirt. So he did, even though it was like fifty degrees out."

"Oh, that's hilarious."

"What's even better is when he was shirtless, they took pictures with him. They posted the pics on their facebook!"

"No way! Show me your phone."

I pull up the photos and show her. She laughs a full belly hard laugh. It's good to see her happy. I was so worried earlier.

"So, I either invited the firemen to the wedding, or I had to invite them because of all the candles. Like maybe some fire code. Kinda like when they supervise fireworks shows."

"Oh, that sounds reasonable. Okay, so then what?"

"This totally hot, buff fireman runs up to me."

"Is he in his fireman's outfit?"

"They all are, but they aren't wearing shirts. Just like their jackets, pants, and those hard red hats with the yellow tape on them. And their jackets are open, so you can see their sexy abs."

"Nice. So was it that Ryan guy?"

"Let me finish. So this sexy ass fireman runs up to me, tackles me, and rolls me."

"Rolls you? Why doesn't he just take the veil off?"

"Stop, drop, and roll? Don't you know anything? And stop interrupting. This is serious."

"Okay, sorry."

"So he puts out my veil fire. And after rolling me, he ends up laying on top of me. He grins this gorgeous smile at me and starts kissing me. At my wedding!! And this fireman is so freaking hot! I want him, like right there. And for a minute, I think we're gonna have sex right there in the aisle at my wedding, with everyone watching! But all of a sudden, he pulls me up off the ground, and we run, hand in hand together, outside the church. We grab the bars on the back of the fire truck as it pulls away."

"So you left your wedding with a fireman? I see two problems with this. One, you'd already said your vows, so you were legally married to Phillip, and –"

"Let me finish."

"Okay, but...."

"The fireman was Phillip."