That Wedding (43 page)

I put on a coat and walk to their suite. As Danny said, there are three other girls dressed similarly to me. The problem is, they look WAY better than me. They have big boobs, great curvy hips, and sexy lush red lips. I remembered to put on some tinted lipgloss, but then I drank most of the screwdriver. My lips are probably orange and pulpy.

I wipe the corners of them, just in case.

When the four of us girls walk in, it's going to be like that game they used to have on TV when I was little. There was some song,
Which one of these things don't belong
?

That, would be me.

"So you're the bride, huh? It's pretty cool you're doing this," one of the dancers says.

"You think so? I was just thinking it could backfire. Like if he likes me, but doesn't know it's me, he's in trouble. If he doesn't think I'm sexy like you guys are, he's in trouble. If he likes one of you, he's in trouble. I don't think this is a good idea."

"Come on, he'll love it. When the time's right, just tell him. Or take off your mask. He'll be shocked, but he'll love it."

"What am I even supposed to do? I'm not that good of a dancer."

"Just go straight to him, shimmy in front of him a little, then do a lap dance."

I mentally thank Lori for buying the stripper's workout. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have a clue.

We go into the suite. The boys are trying to act cool. Well, except for Joey and Dillon, who are chanting, "Take it off."

I move in front of Phillip. He's so adorable, and well, I'm in a mask. I might as well have some fun with him. I sit on his lap, straddling him. Run my hands through his hair the way I always do. He has a grin on his face, but he's not touching me. He sorta has his hands limply down by his side. I grind into his lap, then get up, and decide to dance in front of him.

I do what is probably the stupidest circle twirl thing ever seen. Why didn't my mom make me take dance lessons? Why did she let me play soccer? Didn't she know every girl needs to know how to dance at some point in their lives?

When I turn back around to face Phillip, his eyes roll down my body. I hear Nick from behind me yell, "Come on, Mac, show her what ya got!"

Phillip squints his eyes at me, flashes a big grin, gives Nick a thumbs up, then pulls me onto his lap. Then he puts his hands firmly across my ass and pulls me in even closer!

I swear, I'm going to kill him.

The boys think it's awesome. Neil hoots, "Way to go, Mac!"

Joey goes, "Aw, yeah, baby!"

I'm super conflicted. Part of me wants to rip this mask off and scream at Phillip and all his stupid friends,
You assholes!
The other part of me wants to stay in character just to see how far he'll take this. I choose the later, wrap my arms around his neck, and nuzzle my boobs into his face.

I figure that'll be a good test. Surely, he'll pull his face away!

But he doesn't! He tightens his grip on my ass and starts kissing and licking my cleavage!!

Nick screams out, "THAT'S what I'm talking about!"

OH MY GOD! That's it!!!

I'm going to KILL him, and then I'm gonna break up with him.

He licks up the side of my neck with his tongue. The guys are going crazy, cheering him on. When his tongue touches my ear, I'm about to blow.

He whispers, "That's a pretty sexy tattoo you have there, miss."

Shit.

The little angel wings I have tattooed on my hip. He and Danny have matching ones on their ankles.

I forgot about that. It's clearly visible.

He continues. "You know, this is my bachelor party."

I try to answer in a different voice. "I heard."

"I'm supposed to have like random sex with hot girls at my bachelor party. So I was thinking....."

"I don't think it's your brain that's thinking."

"Wanna go to my room?"

I smile at him. I love this boy, and I'm more than willing to play along. "Lead the way, baby." I start to get up, but then I stop. "Um, you do know that I charge five hundred dollars for that?"

Phillip holds out his hands. "I don't have any cash."

I get off his lap and lean my boobs down into his face. "Oh, that's really too bad. There's these shoes I want, but my boyfriend gets mad at me when I buy shoes, so this is how I earn my shoe money."

He studies my masked face then slowly runs his eyes down my body. "Don't move."

He strides over to Danny, says a few words to him, and Danny gets his wallet out. I hear Danny mutter, "Hell, that's a bargain compared to last night."

Philip comes back with a handful of ones and five crisp hundred dollar bills. I reach out to grab the money, but he pulls it back fast. "Oh, not so fast. You have to earn it first."

As the boys cheer, I take his hand, follow him into his room, and earn myself a new pair of shoes.

Danny and I are the first ones down at the bar. He's struggling with buyer's remorse.

"Jay, should I feel guilty?"

"Hell no," I tell him. "Hey, can we go see it?"

"Yeah, if you'll tell me why I shouldn't feel guilty on the way."

As we walk down the brightly decorated hall, I say, "Danny, it's okay to buy yourself just one thing as a reward for all your hard work. Now if you start buying a whole fleet of
whips
, I'm gonna have to whip you with my XXX wedding favors."

Danny laughs heartily.

I wrap my arm around his shoulder, which causes me to get jealous looks from all the women walking by. "Danny, you've worked your ass off for years to get to this point. You really should enjoy it a little. Speaking of enjoying it." I reach into my purse, grab the five hundred dollars Phillip paid me, and hand it to him. "Here's your money back."

He laughs at me. "You probably don't have a fallback career as a stripper. I'm just saying."

"Shut up!!"

"I guess you're right though. The only thing I've spent money on was the house. Speaking of that, did Lori tell you the house next door to us is getting ready to go on the market?"

"No, she didn't."

"I think you and Phillip should buy it."

"It'd be fun to be neighbors again."

We get to the Ferrari dealership. The place is like Disneyland for boys with cash. Danny walks in and is greeted like the superstar he is. He and the sales guy lead me to an incredibly sleek and gorgeous bright red car.

"Wow, Danny. I wouldn't need to get tipsy to buy this car. Can I have one too?"

Danny laughs as he opens the door and lets me slide behind the wheel.

"You look good in it. You should buy one for yourself."

"I can't talk Phillip into spending money on a house. He'd have a cow if I brought home a freaking Ferrari! Plus,
I'm not an NFL quarterback
."

"Jay, when it comes down to it, it's your money. You can spend it however you want."

Sitting behind the wheel of this car, I feel like I could have anything I want.

"Phillip said to me,
I have a good job, I don't need a handout from my wife to buy a house
. And I'm not sure what to do. He won't listen to me about it. It's like a closed subject. Every time I bring it up, he gets pissy with me, and Phillip is never pissy with me. That's your job." I give him a smirk. "Plus ultimately, I have to get your dad to agree. Why in the hell did you tell me to put the money back in my trust? I wouldn't have to go through stupid couple's counseling."

"Because my dad was afraid we'd blow it on a car like this." He studies me and the car. "You look hot in this car. You should do what you want."

"I'm not buying a car like this, but anytime you want me to drive this for you, you let me know."

I stick my hand out and do my best rap star imitation. "I'm in my whip. I'm in my ride." I laugh. "You know, I totally should've been a rap star."

Danny laughs, crosses his arms in front of his chest, and does a rap star pose. "Dude, me too."

"We're gonna need to buy you some gold chains or something first. You're a little too clean-cut looking."

"I think you're trying to distract me. Back to the subject at hand. Do you know how cool it would be for our kids to be neighbors and for us to be able to hang out like our parents always did? In fact, speaking of that, you need to hurry up and get pregnant."

"No way."

"We want you pregnant soon."

"You sound like Phillip's mom. I wanna be able to drink on my honeymoon."

Danny takes my hand and helps me out of the car. "Go off the pill now, and maybe you can kill two birds with one stone. You can go on your babymoon and your honeymoon at the same time. Which would save Phillip money, so he can buy the house next door. You'll love it, Jay! They just finished remodeling it, and the kitchen is so cool. The basement looks like a sports bar. It's awesome."

Danny throws his arm across my shoulders and leads me over to a matching fly yellow Ferrari. "We wouldn't have to match exactly."

The sales guy, who's been following us around, says to me, "This car looks like you."

I'm not sure if looking like a fast expensive car is a compliment or not, so I ignore him. "A babymoon is the silliest thing I've ever heard. What are you celebrating? That your baby isn't there yet? The soon-to-be death of your romantic and sex lives? I want some time to enjoy it being just Phillip and me. Like you and Lori did. You had romance."

"We still have romance."

"Danny, I've dated Phillip for three months. That's it. I wanna date him for a while. I want it to be just the two us of."

"Having a baby is romantic."

"It doesn't seem like it. Seems stressful, and once the baby is born, it's a lot of hard work."

"So how long does Phillip wanna wait?"

"I don't know. We really haven't talked about it, but I'm sure he wants to wait too."

"Come on. Just think, our kids growing up together, playing football together." He gives me a big smirk. "Your daughter begging my son to teach her how to kiss."

"I did not beg you. I wanted a simple two-minute demonstration. I didn't expect you were gonna have to teach me for hours."

I hear the sales guy chuckle.

"You know me, I just wanted you to be perfect."

"And besides, you're a year older than me, so I have some time."

"You need to start trying now."

"My luck, I'd get pregnant and would be puking through my wedding."

"Fine. After the honeymoon. You have a goal now. Visualize yourself being fertile, fruitful."

"Danny, jeeze. Yuck."

Danny looks at the sales guy and says, "This car is really tight. She'll take it." Then he grins at me. "Just think, Jay, when you're trying to get pregnant, you have to do a lot of trying."

"Danny, okay. Enough. If it's supposed to happen, it will." I look at the sales guy. "I will NOT be taking it. We need to get back to the bar."

"Fine," Danny pouts.

"You know, you kinda pout when you don't get your way."

"I do with you."

"Why?"

"Cuz it usually works. Shall I give you my grin too?"

I smack his shoulder, which doesn't affect him in the least. Danny gives the sales guy a high five on the way out.

"We need to get Phillip over this nonsense and make him buy the house."

"I don't think it'll work. He thinks he wears the pants."

"Tell him you insist. You know, it's funny that the girl who's been giving me shit about not rewarding myself can't take her own advice."

"Danny, this is different. I didn't earn this money. I didn't work for it. I got it because my parents died. I'm afraid if I spend it, it's like I'm glad they're dead."

"You're so dumb, and your parents would be so disappointed. They wanted to take care of you if something happened. That's why they were well-insured. They wanted to be able to give you something if they weren't here to give it to you themselves. So why was it okay to spend it on college, but it's not okay to spend it on a house?"