That Was Then... (20 page)

I look at her e-mail again. “It does seem like a real cry for help.”

“Well, it looks like you can’t call her. Why don’t you e-mail her back and see how she feels about coming out for a visit. She may say to forget it.”

“Yeah. I guess that wouldn’t surprise me much.”

“Tell her we’ll buy her a ticket,” he says as he turns on his computer.

“Thanks, Dad!” I hug him, then go back to my room and immediately e-mail her.

Today was a long day I went to the Paradiso right after school and worked until closing. And, okay, it’s a fun place to work. But by the time I got home, I was exhausted. Even so, I decided to check e-mail. I’ve been checking regularly, desperately hoping to hear back from Maya. I’ve been worried that no news might be bad news. And finally, tonight, there is an e-mail!

My dad was awake when I got home, but I’m not so sure now. I tiptoe past his bedroom and see a slat of light beneath the door. I tap lightly. “Dad?”

“Come in.”

I see him sitting up in bed, with a reading light on. He’s got a mystery propped up in front of him. Such a cozy scene.

“I hate to disturb you.”

“You’re not disturbing me, Kim. What is it?”

So I tell him about Maya, spilling her story in one great long run-on sentence.

“Oh dear.” He sits up straighter

“Do you know what to do? I mean, to handle this? Do we have to let anyone know or anything?”

He frowns. “I’m not sure. But I can find out in the morning. Do you think she’ll be okay for the night?”

“I think so. She just sounds extremely scared.”

“Well, I’ll be on it first thing in the morning, Kim. Don’t worry. We’ll figure this out.”

“Thanks, Dad. I hope it’s not a mistake.”

He smiles. “All we can do is what we think is best.”

“Let God take care of the rest?”

“You sound like your mother, Kim.”

“Good.”

“Good night,” he says. “Don’t let worries about Maya keep you awake, sweetheart.”

“I’m going to pray my worries away, Dad.”

He nods. “Yep, just like your mom.”

Dad, true to his word, figured out a way to safely and legally get Maya out here. She arrived this afternoon and, to our surprise and relief, acted like a completely different person. Okay, she’s pretty gloomy. But at least she’s not picking fights with anyone. Not yet anyway.

“Part of the agreement,” my dad informed her on the way home from the airport, “is to get you enrolled in school.” He cleared his throat. “Will that be a problem for you, Maya?”

“No.”

“Kim has offered to take you with her tomorrow. She’ll show you what to do and who to talk to.”

“Okay.”

“Even though the year’s mostly over,” I said, “if you decide to stay here longer, like next year, well, it would be good to get started this year.”

“Next year?” Her dark brows arched now.

“Oh, we don’t really know about that,” my dad said
quickly. “I think this will be a one-day-at-a-time sort of thing.”

“Oh…” Maya seemed to relax a bit. And I decided I better not push things with this girl.

We showed Maya her room, the same one that Nat used last year. And she seemed to think it would be okay.

“You didn’t bring much,” I mentioned when I realized she only had two bags.

“I travel light.”

“Well, if you need anything…I mean, if you forgot something, just ask.”

“Thanks.”

I noticed the dark circles beneath her eyes now. “You look tired, Maya. Feel free to rest or whatever.”

“I am tired. I haven’t really slept too well, you know, lately.”

I nodded. “I understand.”

So she slept most of the afternoon. But I stuck around the house just in case she woke up and wanted to talk. Then we ordered pizza for dinner, eating it in front of the TV since there was an action movie Dad wanted to see. But it seemed a good way to just chill with Maya. Let her adjust to us.

Then before she went to bed, she thanked me again. “I really don’t know where I’d be…” she sighed, “if you guys hadn’t helped me. I do appreciate it.”

I wanted to hug her, but I sensed that would be stepping over some invisible line. “I’m glad you came,” I
said instead. “I’d like to get to know you better.” Then I told her what time we’d be leaving for school, and I could tell she was a little shocked. But she didn’t say anything negative. It gives me hope.

Okay, I can’t say this has been the easiest week of my life. But I guess it could’ve gone worse. On the upside, Maya has decided she likes some of my friends. Particularly Marissa. It figures. And Maya likes the Paradiso. I think she also likes Chloe, Allie, and Laura who are here for a few days for a brief break from their tour. Maybe it’s because, like her dad, they are musicians. But Maya didn’t want me to tell anyone who her dad is. Not that too many of my friends would know or care, but some would.

“Why not?” I asked her.

“I don’t want people to like me because of my dad.”

I nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“If someone doesn’t like me, I want to know up front. I don’t want them pretending, you know.”

Now the downside of this first week with Maya is just Maya. Although I’m sure she’s trying to be nice, she has this very edgy side to her. Since she’s a vegan, she gets down on anyone who eats meat or any animal byproduct, even milk or cheese. She and Nat got into it over this yesterday. Although, I have to give Nat credit, she’s being a lot more patient than she might’ve been a
year ago. Mostly she was just trying to make Maya look at the bigger picture.

“If you really love animals,” Nat said on the way home from school yesterday, “I’d think you’d be worried about all the cows, pigs, chickens, and whatever that are being raised around the country.”

“I am worried. That’s why I’m vegan.”

“But think about it,” Nat continued. “What if everyone suddenly became a vegan?”

“That’d be great.”

“But what would happen to all the farm animals?”

“They’d be happy.”

“No.” Nat shook her head. “They’d be dead.”

Maya didn’t say anything. But I got it.

“That’s right,” I chimed in. “There would be no need for them anymore. And what farmer is going to pay good money to feed and care for animals that have no value?”

“Yep,” said Nat. “It’s all about the bottom line. All those animals would probably be killed instantly. It would be a great big cow, pig, and chicken holocaust.”

“Talk about sad.” I shook my head.

Okay, Maya looked like she was fuming. And I did feel a little bad, like we were ganging up on her. But we were just being honest.

“I can understand how you feel,” I finally said, the guilt getting to me. “I actually became a vegetarian once.”

“Once?”

“Well, it didn’t last more than a couple of weeks,” I admitted. “But I’d seen a TV news show about how beef is processed.” I made a face. “Eeeuw! It was so gross. And I felt so sorry for the cattle being slaughtered that I totally quit eating meat.”

“Why’d you go back to it?”

“I’m not sure… I guess I wasn’t convinced that my not eating it would do any good.”

“Well, maybe it does me some good,” Maya said.

“I can respect that,” I told her.

“Me too,” said Nat.

Of course, then Nat got into it with Maya again today. This time over leather. Nat had gotten a new purse that Maya pointed out was made of “dead cow.” Oh well.

Okay, I guess I know how it feels to be a mother. Sort of. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before in my diary that Maya is a very beautiful girl. She’s biracial and very exotic looking. She has these intense brown eyes, bronze skin, and soft, dark curly hair that goes past her shoulders. And even though she’s an earth muffin who practically lives in overalls, tie-dye, and Birkenstocks, she’s managed to catch the eyes of a few males at our school.

It figures that Spencer would be one of them. Now, I will give Spencer this much credit—I think he has quit using drugs. But he still drinks and smokes and picks on Christians. Although, for as much as he picks on Christians, he doesn’t mind hanging with them. Our theory is that he’s a Christian wannabe, but too afraid to lose his bad boy image. Anyway, Cesar and Jake refuse
to give up on their old buddy, and I gotta admit that I think it’s kind of cool.

But when Spencer invited Maya to prom? Well, I had to wonder what was up with that. Fortunately, Maya turned him down. She said she thought prom sounded juvenile. But then Spencer agreed, saying he only asked because she was new at school and he thought it was something she’d be into. And everything would’ve been just fine, but then Spencer asked her to go out with him. And she agreed!

Okay, my first instinct was to put my foot down. To tell her that she couldn’t go out with a guy like that. Then I had to realize how ridiculous that would sound and how it would probably just make her want to go out with him even more. So I actually prayed about the whole thing. And here’s what I did. I decided to just be honest, to warn her, and to let her know I cared about her.

“You’ll obviously make up your own mind about this,” I said finally, after I’d shared my concerns. “And I have to admit that Spencer has changed some, but he does have a drug past, and I know how you feel about that.”

She nodded, as if taking this in. “Well, you could be right. But since I told him I’d go out, I guess it can’t hurt. And if it makes you feel any better, I’ve been in some pretty rough situations in the past. I know how to take care of myself. So you don’t need to worry.”

And somehow I believed her. Just the same, I told
Dad what was up before I went to bed tonight. And he just laughed.

“I know you really care about her,” he told me. “But as long as Maya abides by our simple rules, which she appears to be doing, we can’t really dictate to her who she can or cannot date. Can we?”

“No. I just wanted to let you know.”

He hugged me. “You’re going to be a good mom someday, Kim.”

“Just not with Maya?”

“I think it’s a little too late for that. Maya needs a good, wise friend more than a teenage ‘mom’ right now.”

“I think you’re right.”

“And if anyone needs to play the parent card,” he winked, “I guess it should be me.”

And I guess he’s right. Besides, it takes the pressure off me. And like Maya insinuated, if anyone can take care of herself, she can.

Today is the anniversary of Mom’s death. I didn’t tell anyone, but it’s like I could feel the memory of it hovering around me all day. I suspect my dad thought about this too. But neither of us mentioned it. I think I was afraid that if I said something, it would just make him feel worse. Maybe he was thinking the same about me.

The good news is that I do feel better than I felt last year at this time. I guess these things really do get better with time. Even so, it still hurts.

Finally, I pulled out the letter she wrote me shortly before her death. I’m afraid I’m going to wear it out since I read it so much during those first few months. But it had been a while, and I decided that it was appropriate to read it on the anniversary of her death. And even though it made me cry, they were good tears. And it was good to be reminded of her—I never want to forget her.