Texas Tender (33 page)

Much to Idalou's relief, the guests laughed and their mood changed immediately.

“I'm sorry about this,” Will said to Mara. “I hope it doesn't ruin the party for you.”

Idalou hadn't even thought of Mara or how this might affect her. She had always thought Mara was a shallow girl who enjoyed having men compete for her attention, but she'd lost color and was staring at Will as though she didn't know what he'd said. She was holding on to her father's arm as if she never wanted to let go.

“Nonsense,” Jordan said. “What girl doesn't want boys to fight over her?”

“This fight was a little too serious,” Will said. “Why don't you let her mother take her inside for a little while?”

“She's fine,” Jordan insisted. “You've got your dancing shoes on, don't you, honey?”

Alma put her arm around her daughter's waist and turned her toward the house. Idalou had never liked Jordan, but now she added insensitivity to his sins. Alma hadn't gone far before she stopped and turned back.

“Would you like to join us, Idalou?”

Idalou was caught having to make an awkward decision with a dozen pairs of eyes staring at her. She wanted to go back to town, but she knew Will wouldn't like it and it would be rude to leave at such an awkward moment. She couldn't imagine what she would do when trapped inside for even a few minutes
with Mara and her mother. Alma had never liked her son's interest in Idalou or her daughter's interest in Carl, and Idalou thought Mara was too immature and shallow for Carl. And that didn't begin to touch on the things she'd said about Alma's husband. The other alternative would have been to stay and keep pretty much out of sight until Will came back for her, but Alma's invitation took that option off the table.

“Thanks,” she said. “I could use a few minutes of quiet.”

“Don't stay too long,” Jordan said. “The party won't be the same with the two prettiest girls missing.” Jordan sounded like he'd had a little too much to drink, himself.

The women walked back to the house without speaking. Alma closed the doors, which muted the noise of the band. “Can I get you something to drink?” she asked Idalou. “I'm going to fix some sassafras tea for Mara.”

“That would be fine,” Idalou said.

“I'm sorry Carl's fight spoiled your party,” Idalou said to Mara after her mother left.

“It's Van's fault,” Mara said listlessly. “He was picking on Carl all night. Every time I tried to talk to Van, he would start in on how poor Carl was or how he was such a rotten rancher, he couldn't keep track of his own stock or keep the ranch from being sold out from under him.”

“Van is jealous of Carl. He wants to marry you.”

“Van doesn't want to marry me.” Mara looked like she was on the verge of tears. “He just wants Daddy's ranch.”

Idalou was too sure that was true to argue. “Well, that won't matter if you're still in love with Will.”

“I'm not in love with Will.” Mara sighed and looked a little less like she would burst into tears. “I never
was. I was just infatuated because he's so handsome. I'm still in love with Carl, but he won't talk to me.”

“I'm sure he will once he's certain you're no longer confused about your feelings for him, but there's not much point in talking about marriage as long as your father refuses his permission.”

“Daddy won't force me to marry a man I don't like, and he's not going to keep me from marrying the man I love.” Mara's expression turned hard and determined. She looked so much like her father at that moment it startled Idalou.

Despite Mara's assertion, Idalou was certain Jordan and Alma would put up a fight before they would allow her to throw herself away on a penniless cowboy like Carl.

“Your parents may not stop you from marrying Carl, but you have to face the possibility that they'll refuse to support you. You've always lived in a nice house where everything was done for you. Carl has no house to take you to. We aren't even sole owners of the ranch any longer. Even after we rebuild, there won't be anyone but you to cook, wash, clean, and take care of the livestock.”

A spark of interest shone in Mara's eyes. “Does that mean you're going to marry the sheriff?”

Idalou hadn't expected that question. She opened her mouth to deny it, but realized she didn't want to deny it. She hadn't reached the point of believing she was in love with him, but she did know she'd never met a man she'd like to marry more than Will. Could she even say she wanted to marry him if she wasn't sure she was in love with him? “I like Will a lot, but we haven't gotten to the point of talking about marriage. We're still getting to know each other. You've known Carl almost all your life. I've known Will less than a month. Besides, things are a little awkward between us just now.”

“If you mean his paying off your loan, I'd say that was proof he loved you,” Mara said.

One of the joys of living in a small town was that everybody knew you and would help you if you were in trouble. The other side of the coin was that everybody knew all your business, even the parts you wished were private. “That's part of it.”

“He's so gorgeous. I don't see how you
cannot
be in love with him. Everybody knows he loves you.”

“He
likes
me. That's very different from love. Now tell me what you're going to do if you decide you're in love with Carl. You really hurt him when you became infatuated with Will.”

“I know,” Mara said, tears threatening again. “I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe I was so tired of being in love with Carl and my parents pushing me to marry Van that I turned to a man I thought everybody could like.” Mara said that with such emphasis that Idalou wondered if she was trying to convince herself. “Tonight I tried to tell Carl I love him, but he wouldn't listen.”

Idalou didn't know what advice to give to Mara. She knew Carl loved Mara, but Mara had hurt him badly. Just as she loved Will, but his attention to Junie Mae had hurt her badly.

She loved Will.

She'd never thought that before. Did she really love him, or was she just using the word because Mara used it? He'd shown his interest but had never said he loved her. Yet while she was waiting for him to say the words, she'd tumbled into love herself. How could she not have known? At least it explained her up-and-down emotions during the past few hours.

“You're not listening,” Mara complained.

“Sorry.”

“You've got to talk to Carl for me. You're his sister. He'll listen to you.”

“This is something you and Carl have to settle between yourselves,” Idalou said. “The less outside interference you have, the better.”

That was the trouble with her and Will. One thing or another always seemed to get in the way. She'd
been so distrustful, so distracted, so fearful, she hadn't been able to believe that anything this wonderful could be happening to her.

“But how can I get him to believe me?” Mara asked.

It was the same question Idalou needed to ask herself. Will had said everything but the words, and she'd continued to keep her distance from him, to shield her heart. Even when she'd finally opened up, she'd run at the first hint of heartache. Junie Mae.

“You've got to make up your mind about what you want and stick with it,” Idalou said. “If it's Carl, you have to accept that your parents aren't going to be happy. It may come to the point that you have to make a choice between them and Carl. Remember, even if we find the bull and can pay off the debt, Carl has no home to take you to. Loving Carl may be the hardest thing you'll ever do.”

Loving Will should have been the easiest thing Idalou had ever done, but her fear and distrust had made it nearly impossible. She had to make up her mind what she was willing to do, what she was willing to sacrifice, to love Will. It looked like the first thing she had to do was give up the ranch, but the Double-L was Carl's only inheritance. She would have to talk to him when he got out of jail. She couldn't abandon her brother, not even for love.

Much to her surprise, Idalou didn't feel an overwhelming sense of loss when she looked at what used to be her home. A couple of hard rains had washed away the mud. Already, fresh shoots of grass had sprouted in what had once been the barren area around the ranch buildings. Except for the corral and the house's foundations, nearly every sign of their ranch would be gone by next summer. She should
have been devastated. Instead she felt that a burden had been lifted from her shoulders.

Immediately she was nearly crushed by guilt. She didn't understand how she could feel so uninvolved. For years the ranch had been at the center of nearly every thought. This was Carl's inheritance, yet now it was just an annoyance that clung to her despite her indifference.

“I thought about this place the whole time I was in jail,” Carl said.

Will hadn't been in his office when Emmett let Carl and Van out of jail. He'd been called to investigate some rustling on one of the small ranches west of Dunmore.

“I know it looks rather hopeless now,” Idalou said, “but it's not that bad. We still have the land and the cows.”

“But now Will owns a big chunk of both.”

She tried not to think of that because it made it harder to admit to Carl that she was in love with Will. “I'm sure he won't press us to pay him back.”

“You mean he won't press
me.
He wants to marry you.”

After the fight and Carl's night in jail, the trip back into town had not been a good time to discuss personal issues. Idalou understood why Will had jailed both Van and Carl, but she was still angry. Van had instigated both fights, not Carl.

“Will and Junie Mae are leaving in a week.”

Carl looked surprised. “When did he tell you that?”

“Last night. He had just gotten a letter from his parents saying Junie Mae could stay with them.”

“Are you still worried that it's his baby?”

“No.”

Carl leveled a searching glance at her. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, but I don't like his leaving with Junie Mae.”

“Then go with him.”

“He hasn't asked me.”

“Only because you won't give him a chance.”

“I was going to give him a chance last night, but your fight put an end to that.” Carl's pugnacity vanished. “I don't mean to blame you,” she said. “It's my fault for being so stubborn.”

Carl waved away her apology. “I don't see much point in trying to rebuild.”

“Why not?” It was easy to see he was depressed, but she hadn't expected anything like this.

“You're going to marry Will. If he doesn't ask you before he leaves, he'll come back. I'm not going to marry Mara, so I won't need a ranch house.”

“She still loves you. She told me so last night. Don't you still love her?”

“It doesn't make any difference unless she makes up her mind to defy her father.”

He dismounted and kicked a rock, sending it rolling toward the stream. They'd been sitting astride their horses in what had been the area between the house and the bunkhouse, but the sun was growing hot so they moved to the shade of the cottonwoods that anchored the bank of the creek. The empty space felt strange, unfamiliar.

“I don't need a house to watch the herd,” Carl continued. “We don't need a bunkhouse, because we don't have any hands. Come fall, I think we ought to sell the herd and put the land up for auction.”

The suddenness and unexpectedness of this about-face was a shock to Idalou. She had finally accepted that she'd be relieved to be rid of the burden of the ranch, but Carl was a born cowman and he loved the
Double-L. “You can't do that. You won't have a home.”

It didn't look like home anymore. It didn't even feel like it. All that was left of their house was the rocks that had been used for the foundation. Even the housing for the well had disappeared, leaving behind a hole filled with foul water.

“I'm thinking about moving away. With my experience, I ought to be able to find a job. Maybe I'll see if I can work for Will's dad.”

“This is my home, too. What do you expect me to do?”

“Marry Will.”

“That still doesn't mean you have to give up the ranch. You'll hate working for somebody else.”

“Not as much as I'll hate seeing Mara married to Van. Do you think I could stay here after that?”

No, not any more than she could stay here if Will married Junie Mae. “Think about it before you make up your mind. The ranch is your future. I don't want you to give it up for any reason except that you don't want to be a rancher anymore.”

“That's all I've ever wanted to be.”

“Then don't think about selling. We'll work out something.”

“Damn that bull!” Carl exclaimed. “Where in hell can it have been hiding all this time?”

“I think it's gone. Somebody stole it, or wolves got it.”

“I'm going to keep looking. Will says he thinks it's still here.”

It irritated her that everybody in town, right down to her own brother, accepted every word out of Will's mouth as gospel. The man wasn't infallible. “Will can't know any more about the whereabouts of that bull than you or I.”

“Van told me he thought I ought to look in some of the canyons off the river.”

“It's a waste of time. A calf couldn't stay alive on the little graze in one of those canyons, much less a bull.”

“What else have I got to do with my time?”

Idalou felt sorry for Carl, but she didn't know what to tell him. She couldn't make up her mind about Will. He seemed more concerned about Junie Mae than about her. She couldn't trust her heart to a man who didn't put her before everyone else.