Authors: Barbara McCauley
Tags: #Contemporary, #Romance, #Contemporary Romance
It can't be, it can't be...
She'd seen this in her nightmaresâJonathan up on the platform of the rig, his gaze locked with hers as he stepped to the edge. She'd open her mouth to scream, but no sound would come out....
She tried to scream now, but it was the same as her dreamâno sound came out. She squeezed her eyes shut and fell to her knees in the mud.
It wasn't him. It wasn't possible....
Rain soaked her clothes and hair. She opened her eyes again, but all she saw was blackness now.
“Annie!”
When someone grabbed her arms and pulled her up, she did scream.
“Annie, it's me, Jared.”
“Jared?” she said weakly, then swayed. He tightened his hold on her and hauled her into his arms. She started to shake.
“Jared, I thought you were... I thought that...” She wrapped her arms around him.
“I know,” he said against her ear. “I know. I'm sorry.”
He pulled her into her car and climbed in beside her. They were both soaking wet. Neither one of them spoke while he drove them back to his place. The rain and her teeth chattering were the only sounds.
“Do you have any clothes in the car?” he asked as he pulled in front of the trailer.
She nodded. “My bag is in the back seat.”
He reached around and grabbed it, then took her hand and led her inside. “Go ahead and get in the shower. I'll make us some coffee.”
She started to protest, but Jared took her face in his hands and forced her to look at him. Her face was pale, so pale it frightened him. “Do what I say, Annie Bailey, or I'll drag you in there myself.”
She smiled at him and a touch of color came back to her cheeks. Without thinking, he kissed the end of her wet nose, then released her.
When she came out a few minutes later, dressed in a pink blouse and jeans, he sat her on the couch, shoved a cup of coffee into her hands, then took a quick shower himself. By the time he came out, the color had returned completely to her face, and she was working on a second cup of coffee. Her damp hair curled around her cheeks.
He poured himself a cup and sat on the couch beside her.
They sat there for a long moment, listening to the rain.
“You okay now?” he finally asked.
She nodded. “Yes, I...” She turned her head away. “Oh, Jared, I feel like an idiot.”
“Don't.” He touched her shoulder. She'd stopped shaking, and he could feel the warmth of her skin through the cotton blouse she wore. “It was stupid of me to try and catch your attention like that.”
“What were you doing up there?”
“It was either sit around my place and get drunk or come down here and work. I was headed for the office when I noticed a pulley was loose. I'm sorry I scared you.”
She held her coffee cup in both hands. Steam rose from the black liquid and she stared at it. “It was raining that night, wasn't it?” she asked quietly.
His hand tightened on her shoulder. “Don't do this, Annie.”
She shook her head. “No. It's all right.” She looked up at him. “Jared, not talking about it doesn't mean it never happened. It did happen. There's nothing anyone can do to change that.”
He held her soft gaze, then released a slow breath. “Yes, it was raining.”
“Do you know what happened, I mean, what really happened?”
I lost my brother. My best friend. The only person who ever really knew me.
The ache in his chest swelled until Jared thought he might not be able to breathe.
“Thereâ” he swallowed back the thickness in his throat “âthere was a cable loose. I told him to wait.... We'd get it in the morning when we could see better and the rain stopped. He...he was anxious and went, anyway.”
Jared could hear the thunder, see the flash of lightning. But it was another storm, another time, not the one he'd just come out of.
“Slater and I followed Jonathan up the platform,” he said as if he were narrating a film moving through his head, “giving him a bad time about being green. He just laughed and said the only thing green about him was all the money he was going to make.”
Annie watched as Jared stared, unblinking, at the coffee in his hands. There was no emotion on his face. No expression.
But his eyes. God, his eyes. The torment she saw there ripped through her like a sword. Pain welled up inside her, and her own eyes filled with tears. She set down her coffee, then took Jared's cup out of his hands. His fingers were stiff and cold.
“I was still several feet away,” Jared went on, his voice empty, “when he reached for the cable and slipped. I...I couldn't stop him. I couldn't help him....”
He stared at her then, his eyes wide, and grabbed her by the shoulders. “A few feet. A few lousy miserable feet.”
She touched his face. He'd shaved after his shower and his skin was smooth under her fingertips. “I loved him, too,” she said softly.
He made a wild choking sound in his throat and closed his eyes. There was nothing she could say. There were no words. She'd dealt with her grief long ago, but Jared hadn't. He needed this, and there was no easy way.
Letting her heart lead her, she touched her lips lightly to his, then slid her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek against his chest. His arms were wooden as they came around her, but slowly, as they sat there, he began to relax. She listened to the steady thud of his heart.
And then she remembered.
She straightened. “Jared, I almost forgot. We got the permit. We're back in business.”
He stared at her blankly, as if he'd forgotten. Then he smiled slowly and pulled her close. She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled back. His hands were warm now as they circled her waist, and she was suddenly aware of the hard length of his body against hers. His heart began to pound harder, and she knew that he was every bit as aware of her as she was of him.
She started to move away, knowing that the second he realized what they were feeling he would push her away, but his arms tightened, holding her in place.
She was afraid to look at him, terrified of what she would see. Pity? Or another explanation of why he couldn't let himself touch her, or want her.
But when she lifted her gaze to his, what she saw thereâthe raw open need, the steel blue intensity in his eyesâmade her heart stop.
He touched her face with his fingertips, as if he was really touching her, really seeing her, for the first time.
“Annie,” he said raggedly, then covered her mouth with his.
I
t was madness. He knew that, but it made no difference. He was beyond thinking, beyond reason. The price he'd pay would be high, but even that realization couldn't stop him.
He pulled her closer, needing to feel her body against his. She was soft and warm in his arms, her lips incredibly sweet. Desire, stronger than he'd ever felt, hotter than he'd ever imagined, pounded in his veins and through his body.
He'd meant to be gentle. He wanted to be, but his control shattered when she parted her lips and welcomed him. All the wanting and the needing washed over him, and he tightened his hold, grinding his mouth against hers again and again, murmuring her name.
Her arms circled his shoulders and a small sound of need in Annie's throat sent his senses spinning. She was so small against him, so soft and vulnerable. He wanted her so badly he worried he might hurt her. The thought terrified him and he started to pull away, but she clung to him, deepening the kiss as she tugged him closer, meeting every thrust of his tongue with her own.
He was lost to her, and yet, at the same time, it was as if he was found. As if, for the first time in his life, he was where he belonged.
She tasted like an exotic wine, so rich that one sip made him drunk, so rare that he knew he'd never find it again. The moan that came from deep in his throat was not one of desire, but of torment, knowing that this could never be enough, but that it would have to be.
Her hands began to move over him, and he ceased to think at all. He allowed himself to feel, to cherish every touch, every taste, every sound. She
was
his. If only for this moment, she was.
Annie could hardly breathe. No man had ever made her feel this way before. She felt a desperation that shocked her, a need to consume and be consumed she'd never experienced. A need she was sure could never be fulfilled, but still insistedâno,
demanded
âfulfillment nonetheless. She felt the energy coiled inside Jared, felt his muscles tighten and bunch as she moved her hands down his arms and over his chest. The strength she knew he possessed excited her all the more. She squirmed against him, thinking she would never be close enough.
In one fluid movement he pulled her beneath him, and she sank into the soft cushions of the couch, his body stretched over hers. He dragged his hot lips over her cheek and jaw, then down her neck, setting her skin on fire. He moved lower, cupping her breasts in his hands, sliding his mouth over the fullness, kissing her through the cloth separating them.
With a gasp, she buried her fingers in his damp hair, frustrated at the barriers between them. Gently he bit through the fabric of her blouse, closing his mouth over her nipple and sucking. Pain and pleasure rocketed through her, and she arched upward, catching her lower lip between her teeth as she cried out.
“Jared,” she said hoarsely, “please...please...”
Her plea was like lighter fluid on an already burning fire. Jared pulled her blouse upward, baring her stomach. He thought of hot satin as he moved downward over the smooth white valley. Her fingers moved over his head and through his hair as he nuzzled her small perfect belly button, dipping his tongue in and out so he might taste her there.
Annie caught her breath at the exquisite sensation of pleasure pulsating through her. Her hands clutched at him, tightening into fists. She couldn't bear it. She couldn't. He unsnapped the top button of her jeans, then shifted his attention upward again. He pushed her blouse higher, sliding his hands underneath to cup her breasts again. His lips moved over the thin silk covering her nipples, and she squirmed, desperately wanting to be free of the constraints of clothing.
“Annie,” he whispered, his voice ragged and strained, “you're so sweet, so incredibly sweet.”
He reached behind her and she arched upward as he unsnapped her bra and pushed it away. He met the welcoming tip of her nipple with his tongue, and when he closed his mouth over the hardened peak he felt her entire body tense, heard her sharp intake of breath. He moved over her, giving equal attention to the soft mounds he'd cupped in his hands, reveling in the pleasure he gave her.
Her pleasure heightened his own, and an urgency began to fill him. He moved downward again, with his mouth and his hands, finding her zipper and tugging it down. The soft rasp mingled with the sound of the rain and their breathing. He wanted to taste her, to know every inch of her, and his lips followed as he slid the jeans down her hips and thighs, pulling her underwear with them. She surged upward as his lips moved over her, and he whispered to her, calming her, wanting so desperately to love her.
Annie's world was out of control. She was spinning somewhere, lost, in a place where pain and pleasure were one. Jared's hands slid over her hips and the texture of his rough palms on her skin sent shivers coursing through her. His fingers skimmed over her inner thighs and she dug her hands into his shoulders, twisting the fabric of his T-shirt in her fists. He made love to her as no man ever had before, stroking and touching, moving over her with a rhythm so profound she thought she might scream.
“Jared...please...I want you.” She knew she was begging now. She didn't care.
He stood and pulled off his T-shirt. She watched him undress, and his dark heated gaze never left her as he stepped out of his jeans and underwear and tossed them aside.
Her heart slammed in her chest as he stared down at her. He was a beautiful man, solid muscle and long lean limbs. His arousal should have frightened her, but it only increased her desire. She reached out to him and he took her hand, moving over her as he kissed each finger and ran his tongue along the inside of her palm. She trembled, sure that if he didn't hurry she was going to die.
His lips moved over her body again, over her shoulder and sensuously over her breasts as he removed the last of her clothing. She slid her hands over his chest and hips. He sucked in a breath when she touched his inner thigh, then moaned when her fingers circled him. He was velvet over steel, and the raw power held her in awe.
He moved between her knees and spread her legs to make room for him. The storm outside increased; lightning and thunder shook the walls, rain pounded the roof. Neither one of them noticed or cared. The storm inside was the only one to be reckoned with, the only one that mattered.
“Look at me, Annie,” he said, his voice heavy. “You have to look at me.”
Through a mist of passion she lifted her gaze to his. His eyes were dark and fierce, piercing, and she couldn't have looked away if she'd wanted to. Her hands gripped the cushions beneath her and she curled her fingers tightly around the soft fabric. A flash of lightning illuminated the room, bathing their bodies in silver.
Jared entered her slowly as lightning flashed again, and he felt as if he were being torn from the darkness into a brilliant light. He had never known such intense pleasure, would never have even thought it possible. Her body was a tight velvet glove, and she wrapped her long sleek legs around him, drawing him closer. She arched upward, bringing them closer still, brushing her hardened nipples against his chest.
He began to move, slowly at first, nearly withdrawing, then easing himself in again. Annie clutched his arms, calling his name as she lifted her hips.
“Jared...Jared...please...hurry...”
His name on her lips was all he needed to lose the last thread of control. He took hold of her hips and buried himself deeply in her, moving with an urgency that had built to a fever pitch. Sweat beaded his brow, and they set a rhythm as wild as the beating of their hearts and as old as time.
Annie felt the tension build in her, higher and tighter, hotter, until it became so unbearable she began to shudder. She cried out as the first wave exploded through her, opening her eyes wide with a sharp gasp as the second one followed in its wake. She sobbed his name, digging her nails into his arms. His muscles flexed and he thrust wildly, until his own climax ripped through him.
It was impossible to say how much time passed. Their breathing had long since slowed, and the fine sheen of sweat on their bodies had cooled. Even the storm outside had calmed. Still locked in each other's arms, they listened to the soft rhythm of the rain.
Annie ran her fingers idly through Jared's dark hair. She didn't think herself capable of lifting more than her hand at the moment. She felt as if she were drifting like a child's balloon carried slowly on the breeze. When she sighed, he turned his head and kissed her neck.
“I'm too heavy,” he said, and started to move away.
“No.” She pulled him back. “You're perfect.”
Rising up on his elbows, he stared down at her and smiled. “I was thinking the same thing about you.”
She smiled back, wondering why she'd never noticed the small scar under his right eyebrow or the slight bump at the bridge of his nose. She rose upward and kissed both spots, then lightly brushed her lips across his.
“I wonder if we're both thinking the same thing now,” she whispered.
He laughed softly, and the response from his body was her answer. She wrapped her arms around his neck, dragging his mouth to hers. His kiss was long and hot, seductive, and the flame ignited once again.
No woman had ever made him burn like this, Jared realized through the haze of pleasure. No woman had ever made him want more than he could have.
Why does it have to be Annie?
he thought with despair.
It can't be Annie.
But it was, and the time was past changing that fact. He refused to allow himself to think about tomorrow. It was difficult to think at all with Annie's hands skimming over his body like a silk scarf.
He raised himself over her, watching her face as he slid into her again. She held his gaze, her eyes deep pools of desire, her lips parted softly. As he moved deeper she gasped and arched her back. Her skin was flushed, her nipples hard.
And when her soft cries turned frantic and his own control shattered, the madness overtook them again.
* * *
The sun hadn't fully appeared over the distant mountains when Annie awoke the next morning. The rain had stopped and outside the open bedroom window, a blue jay squawked an irritable greeting. A soft breeze filtered through the wooden window blinds, carrying the scent of rain-dampened earth and fresh air.
She lay on her side, her back pressed against Jared's chest. The heat radiating off his body was like a furnace, and there had been no need for covers. In fact, the covers seemed to have disappeared off the bed completely, though she couldn't quite recall when that had happened.
Remembering her lack of inhibition with Jared, she felt her cheeks flush. They'd gone to bed, but hadn't fallen asleep until the wee hours of the morning, and even then the spirit had certainly been willing, though their bodies had not.
He slept peacefully now, with one arm looped tightly over her waist, and she turned carefully so she could face him. He breathed deeply, and she watched the rise and fall of his broad chest with open admiration. She smiled, noting his chest was only one of several attributes she admired.
Annie rose slowly, not wanting to wake him. She needed a few minutes alone before she faced him. She was too vulnerable right now, and she wanted to fortify her defenses. As she slipped quietly from under his arm, he stirred and his brow furrowed, but he didn't wake.
A chambray shirt hung over a chair beside the nightstand and she reached for it and tugged it on. Glancing back at him before she left the room, she found it took every ounce of willpower not to climb back into bed and wake him the way she truly wanted to. With her lips and her hands. With the words that she'd somehow managed not to speak last night.
I love you, Jared Stone.
They were dangerous words right now. She knew he wouldn't believe her. Lord knew, she could hardly believe it herself. But Jared was filled with too much guilt. He wasn't ready to allow himself the happiness she knew he deserved.
Last night there'd been a crack in that facade he'd built. But today she knew he'd rebuild it. She shook her head and silently left the bedroom. The man was too damn stubborn for his own good.
Jared awoke slowly. His arms felt heavy, his legs incapable of movement. A profound and complete satisfaction settled through his body. He'd either died or been drugged.
He moved a finger, then a toe. He was alive, all right. So he must be dreaming, then. That was what last night had been. A dream. Reluctantly he opened his eyes, knowing the dream would be over the second he did.
The bed was empty, and a disappointment so intense pulsed through his body he slammed his eyes shut again. But the scent was there. Her scent. Feminine and seductive. It
was
Annie. And she had been here.
He opened his eyes again and sat up, running a hand through his hair as he glanced around the room. There was no sign of her, but still he felt her, felt her vibrant energy shimmering as clearly as if she was lying beside him.
He wanted her here, right here. With him. Now.
He smelled the coffee then and knew she was in the kitchen.
Panic gripped him. What would he say? What
could
he say?
Gee, thanks, Annie. It was swell.
He tugged on a pair of jeans, cursing himself the entire time. He'd cut off his right arm before he'd hurt Annie, and now look what he'd done. The sound of eggs frying and the smell of bacon assaulted him, and as he made his way to the kitchen, he also realized he was starving.
She was bent over, peering into the refrigerator. His heart slammed in his chest at the sight of her. She was wearing one of his shirts, and it skimmed the top of her thighs; her long legs were bare. She couldn't have been sexier if she'd had on a skimpy negligee.
His body responded instantly, and he groaned inwardly. How the hell was he going to get through this if he couldn't even look at her without getting hard?