Authors: Barbara McCauley
Tags: #Contemporary, #Romance, #Contemporary Romance
He moved between her legs then and spread them. Once again their eyes met and held as he lowered himself. She opened her body, her heart and her soul, and pulled him tightly to her, arching her body to meet every strong thrust. The crescendo rose and built, lifting them higher and closer. Her fingers dug into his shoulders, and she cried out his name as her release burst forth in a kaleidoscope of intense sensation. He groaned, then surged hard and deep as his own climax shuddered through him.
S
he lay on her side, one arm draped over the edge of the bed. Jared lay behind her, his arm circling her waist possessively. Their breathing had calmed, and the night settled over them like a satin blanket.
With a sigh, she nestled back, closer to the heat of Jared's body. He kissed her shoulder, and she smiled at the thrill that rippled through her.
“May I ask why you happened to be so, uh, prepared, Mr. Stone?” she asked teasingly.
“Wellâ” he nipped at the nape of her neck “âwe can thank Jessica for that. She included them in the emergency bag she made up for me. I seem to recall she referred to them as ânecessities.'”
“
Jessica
bought them for youâbecause of me?” Annie groaned and buried her face in the pillow. “How can I ever face her again?”
Jared chuckled, and she felt the rush of air against her neck. “She's a big girl, Annie. No doubt she suspected something was up between us andâ”
They both burst out laughing at his choice of words. Jessica more than suspected, Annie thought, recalling her lunch with his sister. Jared didn't need to know that, though.
Turning to face him, she pressed her mouth to his jaw, and his beard bristled her lips. The sensation sent a shiver through her. “Well, then, I suppose I'll just have to thank her.”
“Annie,” he said quietly, and she already decided she didn't like the tone, “you never told me. Do you know yet about...”
She shook her head. “It'll be a few more days.”
They were silent then, neither one of them certain what to say. She didn't tell him that she'd bought a home-pregnancy test, but hadn't had the courage to use it. She'd wanted to wait until she got back to Dallas, where she could deal with the results, whatever they were, by herself. She didn't want Jared to be with her because of any responsibility he might feel toward her, but because he loved her and could finally put the past behind them.
At least they'd overcome one of those obstacles, she thought with a smile. He
did
love her, though getting him to admit it had been like cutting a tree down with a pocket knife. Letting go of the past for Jared was going to be doubly hard.
And as much as she wasn't ready to face the issue at this moment, it wasn't going to get any easier by putting it off.
“Jared,” she said gently, “we have to talk about it.”
She felt his body tense beside hers. “About what?”
“About what Slater told me.”
He sat up and reached across her to turn on the light. For one terrible moment she thought he was going to leave. Instead, he propped his elbows on his knees and raked his hands through his hair.
“Do you remember the first day Jonathan brought you to Stone Creek?”
She pulled the sheet around her and sat up, brushing his shoulder with hers. “You were on the rig, tightening one of the drill pipes, I think.”
He nodded. “Did you ever wonder why he brought you to the rig first, instead of the house?”
Now that she thought about it, Jonathan
had
driven right past Stone Creek Ranch and gone to the rig. “I never thought about it.”
“He brought you here first because he wanted you to meet me before the rest of the family. Not because he needed my approval, but because he wanted to know I liked you.”
He gave a dry laugh and curled his hands tightly in his hair. “I liked you all right. The minute you stepped out of that car and smiled at me, I felt as if I'd been poleaxed.”
His words stunned her. She closed her eyes, trying to remember something about that day. “You barely looked at me,” she said softly. “You were busy working and said you were too dirty to shake my hand.”
“It was my mind that was dirty.” He shook his head in disgust. “My own brother, my twin, brings his fiancée to meet me, and I'm having fantasies about her the moment we meet. It made me sick to my stomach.”
Annie sighed heavily. “Jared, it doesn't matter now. And Jonathan never knew.”
He turned toward her and took her by the shoulders. “
I
knew, Annie. I should have stopped it right then and there. Pushed every thought of you out of my mind.”
Her chest ached at the torment she heard in his voice. “You would have, Jared. If Jonathan had lived, you would have.”
“No.” He shook his head. “Even all these years made no difference. I couldn't control what I felt for you then, just as I can't now. If Jonathan had lived, I'd still want you. I'd still love you.”
It was strange how those words brought such joy and such sorrow at the same time. She'd wanted desperately to hear them, but seeing the misery they gave Jared only tightened the ache in her chest. How was she going to make him understand he'd done nothing wrong? That there were some things that went beyond control, some things that a person was powerless to prevent?
“We both loved Jonathan. Neither one of us would have ever hurt him. He knew that.” She reached up and gently touched Jared's cheek. “But Jonathan loved us, too. I don't believe for one second that he wouldn't want us to be together now.”
As if in pain, Jared closed his eyes. “I have this dream,” he said hoarsely. “It's the same one over and over. I'm with you, like this, and Jonathan walks in. He accuses me of betraying him. Of stealing you from him. Then he wants to know why I didn't save him, why I didn't stop him from falling.” Jared opened his eyes and Annie saw the anguish there. “I wake up then, in a sweat asking myself the same question.”
She was crying now, and though he stiffened when she circled his waist with her arms, he didn't pull away. “That's not Jonathan,” she said through the thickness in her throat. “That's you. You couldn't have stopped Jonathan, or you would have. I know it, Jonathan knows it, and in your heart, you know it, too. You would have traded places with him up there on that rig, and still would, if it were possible.”
She lifted her face and looked at him. “But it's not possible, Jared.
It's not possible.
”
He stared at her, but she had no idea if he really heard her. “I think I see him sometimes,” he said distantly. “The back of his head in a crowd. Or through the window of the Cactus Flat café, sitting at a table, reading a paper.”
His shoulders sagged as he let out a long breath. “Once, early in the morning, I even thought I saw him up on the rig. He was smiling. Then he just disappeared, and I knew I'd been imagining it, seeing what I wanted to see.”
“Maybe not, Jared,” Annie whispered. “Maybe that was his way of saying goodbye to you.”
She felt him tremble, then wrap his arms around her and pull her close. She held him tightly, terrified that this was Jared's way of saying goodbye to her.
She refused to think about that now. Whether she left or she stayed, at least they'd been honest with other. He knew she loved him, and she knew he loved her.
But if that would be enough for Jared to let go of the past, she still didn't know.
* * *
As they neared the target zone of 12,360 feet, the tension on the rig was stretched taut. Every crew member knew how critical the final feet of drilling were, and as the time approached, a silence closed around the site. The men's faces were somber, and there was none of the usual conversation or joking that lightened the otherwise tedious hard work. Even Slater, who was always calm, seemed anxious as he stood to the side with Ken, Annie's supervisor, and explained the operation.
The drill man called out a depth of 12,340 feet.
Jared had felt pressure on every rig he'd worked on, but nothing as oppressive as this. He knew that every man here was pulling for him; they wanted to hit oil almost as badly as he did. They'd been a good crew, a loyal crew, even sticking around through the permit fiasco. He wanted to give them a bonus, but unless they hit pay dirt todayâwithin the next half hourâthey'd all be standing in the unemployment line together.
And with no way to pay back the mortgage he'd taken out on the land, he'd lose his parcel of Stone Creek completely.
One month ago, that thought had been inconceivable. Nowâhe glanced at Annieâhe knew that wasn't the worst thing that could happen.
He watched her as she knelt in the wet slushy dirt, her clothes covered with mud as she pulled up core samples from the drilling pipes and examined them. Between the seismics and the meticulous mapping, they knew almost to the foot where the trap might be. If they hit oil, the samples would clearly show the slimy black gold. There'd be no dramatic burst or gush of oil as depicted in the movies, just a simple inspection of the dirt being brought up. If they didn't hit it, it was Annie's responsibility as Arloco's geologist to shut the operation down.
There'd be no reason to proceed beyond what was mapped. Arloco wouldn't approve it, and it would be Annie's head if she went more than ten feet beyond what was authorized.
12,350 feet.
Because there was nothing else he could do at this point, and because he knew she was too busy to notice, he allowed himself the luxury of watching her. There wasn't much to see actually. A blanket of mud enclosed her long sleek body, a hard hat covered her silky blond hair, and the goggles she wore hid most of her face. And still, she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.
God, how he wanted her. He wanted to watch those lips curve into a smile that could brighten the darkest room; he wanted to hear that soft sexy voice that could bring a man to his knees or cut him to ribbons. Most of all, he wanted her here, with him. In his bed, in his life.
He wanted too much.
His stomach twisted as he forced himself to look away from her. He didn't want to think about how wonderful it had felt to go to sleep, and wake up, with her in his arms. Not now, not when she'd be leaving in a few hours. He'd never make it through the day if he tortured himself that way.
Their conversation this morning had been more like that of polite strangers than lovers. They'd dressed quietly, and when she'd stood at the front door, her hand on the knob, and softly said goodbye, he'd heard the finality in her voice. It had taken every ounce of willpower he possessed not to drag her back.
But he couldn't. No matter how much he loved her, Jonathan would always be there between them. Annie deserved better than that. She deserved a man who would love her without reserve, without guilt. And that man wasn't him.
“Jared!”
He turned at the sound of his name, then swore silently as he watched Myrna and her father walk toward him.
Not now.
Of all the times he didn't want to deal with his stepmother, this certainly had to be at the top of the list.
“We thought we'd stop by and see how it's going.”
Convenient timing, Jared thought sourly. If Annie didn't find oil in the next few minutes, Myrna would be the first to know he'd failed. Vultures moved in fast. No doubt she already had a check written to buy his part of Stone Creek.
There was also no doubt he'd tell her what she could do with that check.
“I hear today is the day.” Carlton extended his hand to Jared. “Just wanted to wish you good luck.”
“Thanks.” Jared shook the man's hand and noted how pale he was. Carlton Hewitt had always been a tenacious corporate man who was known for his aggressive business dealings. It seemed strange to see the man finally beginning to show his age.
“Why don't you go help yourself to something cold to drink in the fridge?” Jared offered, gesturing toward the office. If he couldn't get rid of them, at least he wouldn't have to look at them.
“Thanks, son.” Carlton slapped Jared's back. “Don't mind if we do.”
Frowning, Jared watched Myrna and her father disappear into the office, then turned his attention back to the rig.
12,360 feet.
Now or never. They'd go ten feet beyond the target zone, then stop.
For the next few minutes, he went through the motions of checking on the equipment and talking to the men, but with each sweep of the second hand on his watch, he felt the band around his chest pull tighter and tighter.
12,370 feet.
He watched as Annie slowly straightened. She stood there for a long moment, staring at the sample in her hand, then removed her hat and goggles and looked up at Jared.
Jaw set, he walked over to her.
Her gaze held his, then she shook her head.
He knew he should feel something. Anger. Frustration. Disappointment. But the fact was, he felt nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
“Jaredâ”
He raised a hand and cut her off, then turned toward Slater. “Shut the drills down.”
Slater glanced at Annie, his dark eyes narrowed. She nodded slowly.
Slater whistled to the drill man and sliced a hand through the air. The engines slowed, stopped, then the compressor was shut down, too.
The sound of quiet was deafening. No one spoke. No one moved.
Jared drew air into a chest that felt hollow and faced the crew. Their expressions were grave as they watched him. “I want to thank you all for working for me. I'm sorry it was a bust, but I appreciate your hanging in there with me when it got sticky. You've been a good crew.”
Glenn, who'd been standing next to Annie, took his hat off and stepped forward. “What are you going to do now, boss?”
It was the same question on Annie's mind. The mud covering her body suddenly felt like lead, and she couldn't have moved her feet if she'd tried. There was nothing more she could do, nothing anyone could do, and the realization that it was over pierced her heart.
What
are
you going to do, Jared?
she asked silently.
Jared's eyes met hers for the briefest of moments, then flicked away. “There's a call out for a rig in Venezuela. Anyone interested in a little foreign travel, let me know. In the meantime, you can settle up your pay with Slater.”