Tex (Burnout) (11 page)

“It’s fine,” she said. “I kind of figured out that part at least. But yeah, their...worldview...I guess you’d call it?...is a little different than other people’s. Because they’ve seen so much and done so much.”

Abby cringed. “Jimmy has a prosthetic leg and I didn’t know.”

“IED,” Sarah confirmed. “It killed almost half their unit. Four of the nine men. Chris has scars on his side from the shrapnel. The ones that lived, Chris, Hawk, Tex, Doc, and Easy decided to settle down together. Since Chris and Hawk are both from here, I guess this seemed like a logical place. They’re hard men, Abby. They’ve gone through a lot together. But they’re good men, too. The best men.

“I can’t tell you if you and Tex are right for each other. Only the two of you can figure that out. But I can tell you without a doubt that he’d never hurt you. In fact, he’d die to protect you. Right now. Even though you don’t really know each other all that well. Any one of those men would give his life if it meant saving yours. That’s what they do, Abby. They just...ride black Harleys instead of white horses.”

CHAPTER EIGHT

Abby pulled her car up to Mark’s house and parked it. She stared at the house. It was a normal ranch style, one floor but large with an attached garage. The neighboring houses were spaced fairly far away, or maybe she thought that because she lived in a condo. She sat for a few moments, considering. She knew Mark. He wasn’t a stranger. She’d had dinner with him on her living room floor. He’d helped her take the Camaro apart.

She wasn’t going to come, though, until she came. In the shower. After a lackluster orgasm by her own hand, she’d kept going, rubbing her clit furiously and fingering herself until she finally gave in and pinched her nipple. She’d come a second time, screaming. Mrs. Fassnacht next door complained and Abby said the shower had suddenly lost hot water.

Passionate. Mark called her that. Could she be? She’d never been before. She liked missionary sex and knew it hadn’t been Brian or Paul’s favorite, at all. She lacked the ability to explain what about it turned her on. But Mark had known. Had known that she wanted men to stop asking so many damn questions and just take her already.

She got out of the car and slowly walked to the door. She was wearing heels, a skirt, and a blue silk blouse. She hadn’t known what Mark would want. She went to knock, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. She wasn’t this woman. Mark had known things about her. That much was true. But she wasn’t what he was looking for, surely. She turned to go and took two steps when she heard the front door open. She stopped, but couldn’t turn around.

Within seconds Mark was behind her, hands on her shoulders. “Just have dinner with me, Abby,” he said. “We’ll talk. That’s all.”

“That’s all?” she asked.

“If that’s all you want, yes.”

Abby took a deep breath and decided she may as well put all her cards on the table. “I called a friend. A friend from college. She knows where I am. Your address. If I don’t call her back by midnight...” She left the rest unspoken, not wanting to give voice to her fears.

She felt his hands squeeze her shoulders. “That was a good thing, Abby. The smart thing. Just dinner. Come inside.”

She turned and looked up at him. He leaned down and brushed his lips lightly against hers. “It’ll be okay,” he whispered. “I promise.” He led her back to the house.

She smiled when she saw the kitchen island crowded with takeout boxes. “I thought you cooked.”

He grinned. “I do, but I figured you needed something familiar. Comfort food.” He handed her a box of Shrimp Fried Rice and some chopsticks. “Let’s sit on the couch.”

Abby tucked her legs up under herself and plucked out a shrimp. “So, how does this work?”

Mark twirled some noodles. “Well, there are rules.”

She nodded. “I figured. You have rules and I obey them. Like a prisoner or-”

He stopped her. “We both have rules.”

She glanced at him. “I get to have rules?”

“Yes. As many as you want. They’re called limits. Sometimes limits are soft. Like things you may not be comfortable with right now, but you might try later. Sometimes limits are hard. Things you’ll never, ever do.”

“I don’t want to be whipped,” she said suddenly.

“Then I won’t whip you.”

“Can...I mean...do you do that? Like with a bullwhip?”

He shrugged. “I know how. I don’t care for it. Like I said, I’m not into causing women that much pain.”

“What
are
you into?” she asked.

“A lot of things.”

She smirked. “That’s cryptic.”

He grinned. “This is about you. Not about me. For right now we’re going focus on you and you alone. We’ll get to me later.”

“What if what you want freaks me out?”

“Then we don’t do it,” he replied matter of factly.

“Well, then what do you get out of it?” she asked.

“You. Any way you’ll let me have you.”

Abby was startled. “But you could have any woman-”

“But I want
you
. Plus, I’d rather play here, at my house, instead of at the club.”

Abby’s eyes widened. “You go to a club? Here in town? What if people recognize you?”

Mark shook his head. “It’s in Sioux Falls. Usually once or twice a month.”

Her eyes widened. “And people...watch you? Watch you do what we did?”

“Yes. That and more.”

Her mouth dropped open. “I could never do that.”

“I’m not asking you to go there with me.”

She considered this. “What are you asking me to do?”

He considered
that
. “Tell me one of your fantasies.”

She let out a harsh breath. “That’s...kind of private, don’t you think?”

He gave her a look. “Abby, we’re negotiating kinky sex. It doesn’t get more private than that.”

“Yeah, but, I have to...tell you things?”

“Yes,” he said firmly without hesitation. “You have to tell me everything.”

“Why?”

The corner of his mouth twitched up. “Otherwise how do I know if I’m doing it right? That’s one of my rules. You tell me everything. So, tell me something. Something easy. The tamest thing you can think of that you’ve never done.”

She bit her bottom lip as something popped into her head. “We can’t do it.”

He grinned. “You have to let me know what it is first, honey.”

“No. I mean, it’s too late.”

“Too late for what?”

She cleared her throat and squared her shoulders. “Meeting in a bar and...not telling each other our names.”

He nodded. “Sex with a stranger. It’s common. Especially for women.”

“Why?” she asked. “Why is it common?”

“No judgment. You won’t see him again, so who cares what you do?”

Abby blushed as she thought about the many, many times she’d thought about that scenario. She’d go to the bathroom, and come out and he’d be waiting. He’d push her back inside and rip off her panties. No one would know. It was safe because there were people outside the door. But it was also naughty because there were people outside the door.

But in her fantasy she was never in danger. She never got punched or choked or hurt. “I don’t fantasize about men hitting me,” she said firmly.

“Good because I would never hit you, Abby. And if you wanted that, we would be incompatible.”

“I don’t know much about this,” she admitted. “I don’t know where to start.”

“Okay. We’ll start with the basics. Oral? With a condom, of course.”

Abby’s eyebrows furrowed.

“What?” he asked.

“I’ve never done it with a condom. But then they were always my boyfriends, so...”

Christ. She was negotiating safe, kinky sex with a guy who was not her boyfriend. Could you have safe, kinky sex? Wasn’t that a contradiction in terms? She glazed over the not-her- boyfriend part, choosing not to dwell.

“Anyway,” he said, “it should be off the table, since I can’t do it for you.”

“You can’t?” She had to admit that hearing him say it out loud was a little disappointing.

He glanced at her. “I don’t know you that well, Abby, and we can’t exchange fluids without a medical exam.”

“Oh,” she said, feeling stupid. “Right. Exactly. So, there’s sex. But we already did that. So, I think we’re in the clear. We should just eat the rest of this and I’ll go home and-”

“No,” he said firmly and she immediately quieted. “There’s more to sex than just sex. Have you ever let a man tie you up?”

“No,” she said a little too loudly. “I said no chains.”

Mark smiled. “Abby you have a very narrow view of BDSM. Stop picturing crying women and torture. Did you cry when we had sex?”

“No,” she admitted.

“Did I torture you?”

“No.”

“Okay, so stop letting your imagination run away with you.”

“But I don’t know what to imagine!” she told him. “I’ve never done it.”

“We’ll start with bondage,” he informed. “Something light and easy.”

“What if I don’t like it?”

“Then you have a safeword.”

“A what?”

“A safeword. A word that you say to stop everything. If you get upset or too scared or something’s bothering you, you say the safeword and we stop. For us, your safeword will be ‘cantelope’.”

She stared at him. “Cantelope,” she repeated.

He nodded. “It’s a strange word, out of context. Couldn’t be mistaken for anything else. You say it, I stop.”

Abby continued to look at Mark. She set the container of Shrimp Fried Rice down on the table. “Mark.”

He looked at her, eyebrows raised.

“That’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard in my life!” she nearly shouted. “A word?
A safe word
? What the fuck about it is safe, Mark? It’s a word! Is it a magic fucking word? Do the chains suddenly fall off and I get whisked away to my own bedroom on a magic, fucking carpet? What the fuck is safe about a
word
?!”

Mark stared at her for so long she sank back into the couch. “What?” she asked finally. “I’m just supposed to accept that?”

His face broke out into a smile. “No. You’re not. You’re the first woman to ever understand what a stupid concept that can be. I’m proud of you for calling me out about it.”

He was so far from offended at Abby’s outburst that she couldn’t help but laugh.

“But you know me, Abby. We’re friends. And you set up your safe call. I won’t tiptoe around the elephant in the room and not admit that once you’re tied up, I could hurt you for quite a while before your friend knows there’s a problem. I know it’s something you’ve at least considered, or you wouldn’t have called her in the first place.”

He put a hand on her knee. “This is the scary part, Abby. The part where you have to decide whether to trust me or not. But you do know me. You’ve been alone with me a few times. Your weirdo radar never went off and nothing bad happened to you.”

She frowned. “I’m scared.”

“I know. But the question is can you trust me enough to set it aside? I’ll talk you through everything. I’ll explain it all as we go. I’ll show you what I’m going to do and you’ll still have time to decide.”

Abby looked away and chewed her lip. “You’ll show me first?” she clarified.

“Yes.”

Abby wondered what she was so upset about. He was an ex-army ranger and much stronger and larger than she was. If he wanted to hurt her tonight, he could easily have already done it. “Okay,” she said finally. “Show me.”

Mark squeezed her knee and led her into the bedroom. It wasn’t particularly scary at all. The walls were blue and the bed was large with a wrought iron headboard. The comforter was dark gray. There were no whips, or chains that she could see. No rack, no iron maiden. This made her feel a lot better. It looked like a normal bedroom.