Terra (9 page)

Terra wasn’t sure she liked being referred to as ‘irrelevant’ but she was glad Lbbp knew his animals. Lbbp gave a proud little smile. -
And people say scientists are useless in a crisis,
he said happily.

-
Is it time to go home?
asked Terra, hoping that it was.

-
It is indeed. You’re back at the Lyceum in the morning. Better get an early night.
And besides, Lbbp had noticed that something had eaten the slice of configuration 9 he’d left lying around and he wasn’t keen to find out what.

Lbbp and Terra arrived back at the apartment building just as the sun was setting and the moons were coming out. The main room window shutter slid open; Terra was about to step inside when she was startled by the sight of Bsht sitting on the bench seat. She didn’t look happy at all. -
And were have you been all day?
This was addressed to Lbbp, who was hovering behind Terra. For a moment Terra thought he was actually hiding behind her.

-
What? Oh, out . . . We’ve been, you know, out,
said Lbbp innocently as he floated into the room.
I didn’t know you had a key to . . .

-
I’ve been trying to get hold of you since this morning,
interrupted Bsht.
Your friends at the Life Science Hub said you were working at home.

-
Home? No, no, field trip, that’s . . . that’s what I told them, field trip. They probably weren’t listening. You know what us scientists are like. Can I get you anything? Bowl of gssh?

Terra listened in silence, trying not to find Lbbp’s discomfort amusing. It wasn’t easy.

-
The sort of field trip where you don’t answer your comm? The sort of field trip where you don’t even take your comm?
asked Bsht, noticing Lbbp’s little personal communicator lying on the glass table.

Lbbp sighed. -
What’s the matter, Bsht?

Bsht couldn’t be bothered interrogating Lbbp about where he’d been all day. It wasn’t important anyway. What was important was what she’d come to tell him.

-
Everybody’s been recalled to the Preceptorate. It’s the FaZoon. The FaZoon are coming back.

T
he FaZoon are, as far as anyone can tell, the oldest civilisation in existence.

Their home world is – or rather, was – the legendary planet of Gagra-Sem-Gagra, which orbited a giant red star called Thoomm at the exact centre of the universe. This star had been one of the very first stars to form, coalescing in the immediate aftermath of The Expansion. On this ancient planet, the FaZoon had arisen nearly eleven billion orbits ago, and had survived in one form or another ever since. Their culture, their knowledge, their very beings had been developing and advancing almost as long as the universe itself had existed. When Thoomm had exploded (taking the legendary planet Gagra-Sem-Gagra with it) over a billion orbits ago, the FaZoon had taken to the stars, and had wandered the galaxies ever since, occasionally contacting younger and less advanced species (that is to say, all of them) and bestowing their gifts of knowledge. It was, in other words, a big deal when the FaZoon came to visit.

They roamed the skies in starships consisting of almost pure energy, becoming matter only when it, well, mattered. These starships were detectable by Fnrr’s astroscopes at some distance, and so when a FaZoon vessel was spotted on an inbound trajectory, as had happened while Lbbp and Terra were enjoying snacks and avoiding znks at Rfk, all work would be suspended in favour of preparing for their arrival.

On one previous visit, the FaZoon had left information giving Fnrr’s physicians the means to cure zg-zl, a fatal illness. On another, the FaZoon had taught Fnrrn scientists how to cause atomic fusion in a bowl of ndt juice. There were some who wondered why, if the FaZoon were so benevolent, they didn’t just share all their knowledge in one visit and have done with it, but they were careful not to wonder this while the FaZoon were actually on the planet. Rumour had it that the FaZoon were so telepathically sensitive that all thoughts were known to them.

Fnrrns knew they had to watch what they were thinking during FaZoon visitations.

Curiously, although the FaZoon were believed to be highly telepathic themselves, they would not allow any telepathic communication technology to be used in their presence. Fnrrns, when communicating with alien species, would commonly employ psychic translation devices – this certainly sped things up, even if it did lead to moments of diplomatic tension (when the devices would translate what someone really wanted to say rather than what they actually said) but the FaZoon refused to allow anyone to know their thoughts. They possessed knowledge which no other species was yet wise enough to be trusted with, they said. As such, all communication with the FaZoon had to be done the old-fashioned way, by speaking their language. The FaZoon had been kind enough, on an early visit, to leave behind a phrase book.

Or rather, a phrase stone tablet.

Lbbp certainly had his reservations about the FaZoon. As far as he could tell, all the really important history-changing discoveries had been made by Fnrrn scientists working entirely without the assistance of almost infinitely wise and ancient alien benefactors. It annoyed him that sometimes people who hadn’t read up on their scientific history would credit the FaZoon with discoveries like the light-bending camouflage technology which powered the invisibility shield on his little spaceship (invented by scientists in the nation of Dskt, just across the sea from Mlml) or interstellar travel (invented right here in Mlml, refined from Tnk’s original gravity-nullifying techniques). And yes, what was the point of rationing out these great nuggets of scientific advancement? It seemed to Lbbp like the FaZoon were trying to keep the Fnrrns feeling indebted, obligated, needy. The FaZoon had never asked for anything in return, but Lbbp felt sure that such a day would eventually come.

Right now, Lbbp was just annoyed that what he’d hoped would be a relaxing evening had been ruined. He and Terra were sitting in the Leisure Hub of the Lyceum, a sort of auditorium, watching a presentation on the big visualiser they’d installed in there. It was a potted history of interactions between the FaZoon and Mlml, which all the staff and pupils had been required to watch. Lbbp had seen it many times before (he knew certain sections word for word, he was irritated to discover) but there was much that was new to Terra.

-
Have they ever been to Rrth?
she whispered.

-
What?
Lbbp whispered back.

-
The FaZoon; have they ever visited Rrth?

-
No. No one has, not officially anyway. There’s been a lot of secret trips to Rrth over the orbits – as you know – but nobody’s made formal contact with the Ymns. They’re not considered to be ready for it.

-
I thought you said you’d seen Ymn histories about alien invasions of Rrth?

-
Yes, lots. They seem to get invaded quite a bit, but, oddly, they’ve never been invaded by a species anyone’s ever heard of. It’s like they’re in a different universe to the rest of us.

Terra’s nose wrinkled. -
That’s a bit odd, isn’t it?

Lbbp shrugged. -
Space is big. There are certainly hundreds of civilisations out there that we haven’t seen yet. Rrth does seem to attract the nasty ones, though.

-
But the Ymns survived all these invasions?

-
So far. These aliens, the ones no one’s ever actually met except the Ymns, they’re never very competent or organised. Whenever they decide to wipe the Ymns out, rather than just blast the planet from space, they go down to the surface and start trying to wipe them out one at a time. What sort of plan is that? It’d take ages. It always gives the Ymns time to figure out a way to beat them.

-
And the Ymns have always found a way?

-
Well, sometimes they just get lucky, like the aliens all catch some horrid Rrth disease and drop dead. Funny thing is, that seems to have happened at least twice. You’d think they’d learn.

The presentation came to an end. Preceptor Shm, who had been sitting in a chair next to the visualiser, stood up and addressed the room, sounding even more tired than usual.

-
As you know, the FaZoon always send their envoys to whichever nation is in the most total darkness at the moment of their arrival.

It was believed that the FaZoon were highly sensitive to light, and preferred to interact by night. Lbbp reckoned it was simply that the FaZoon, luminescent beings of almost pure energy, knew that they looked more impressive in the dark. Being impressive seemed quite important to the FaZoon.

-
On this occasion,
Shm went on,
that nation will be Mlml. They’re coming here.

A ripple of excitement. A faintly audible groan from Lbbp.

-
It therefore falls to me to assign a delegation to meet with the FaZoon. I will deliberate upon this and announce my selection in two days’ time. That is all.

Preceptor Shm turned and left without another word. -
That’s it? That’s it?
said Lbbp angrily.
He drags us all the way in here to show us an old info-gram and tell us he’s got nothing to tell us yet?

-
Everybody else seems quite excited,
said Terra quietly.

-
I know,
snarled Lbbp, stomping towards the exit.
Pathetic, isn’t it?

-
I’m quite excited,
said Terra inaudibly as she followed him.

One of the first decisions Preceptor Shm made with regard to the imminent arrival of the FaZoon was to organise the younger Lyceum students into a welcoming committee. They would recite a greeting to the FaZoon envoys (in the FaZoon language, of course) before the official delegates were introduced.

So it was that the next day, Bsht found herself standing in front of a lectorium full of students making some extremely peculiar noises.

-
I know it’s not easy, but take your time over it.

-
It hurts!
protested a young boy named Yshn.
It hurts my throat!

Terra thought Yshn was being a bit melodramatic. It was just a lot of words in a different language, that was all. She listened to the guide reading that Bsht played over the lectorium sound system and repeated it. ‘
Kaa sem lo maa FaZoon. Kaa sem jay maa FaZoon.
’ It was easy.

Looking around the room, she could see that while Yshn had been the only one to complain so far, he obviously wasn’t the only one experiencing some discomfort. The pupils’ Fnrrn speech mechanisms, accustomed only to making the clipped, clickety sounds of their own language, had to strain to produce the open, flowing sounds of the FaZoon words. Terra’s Ymn voice box was finding it much easier.

After three or four recitations, the rest of the pupils began to cough and gasp. Terra found that hers was now the only voice to be heard. She kept going.

-
Kaa sem lo maa FaZoon. Kaa sem jay maa FaZoon. Kaa sem lo maa FaZoon. Kaa sem jay maa FaZoon.
She paused. Everyone was looking at her.
What?

-
Have you learned FaZoon before?
asked Bsht.

-
I’d never even heard of the FaZoon before yesterday,
explained Terra.

-
You’d never even heard about them?
said Fthfth incredulously. Terra shrugged.

-
They just never came up in conversation. Sorry.

-
So why are you so good at that then?
enquired Pktk with a hint of suspicion in his voice.

-
I’m not that good at it . . .

-
It’s just that when you do it it actually sounds like the recording,
said Fthfth.
Say FaZoon . . .
In Fthfth’s voice it came out as
F’znnn.

-
Faa-Zoon . . .
said Terra.

-
Weird,
muttered Pktk.

-
It would appear,
said Bsht,
that Ymns have something of an advantage where speaking FaZoon is concerned.

-
There you go,
said Fthfth,
you’re finally the best at something.

-
Fancy a game of dfsh later?
said Terra with a smile, reminding Fthfth of what was literally the only other thing Terra had ever been better at than her.

-
I think this should be brought to the attention of the Preceptor,
said Bsht.

Terra wasn’t sure whether to be pleased or terrified. After a moment’s consideration, she decided to settle on both.

-
Preceptor, I’m not sure this is appropriate. She’s only eight orbits old.
Lbbp was pacing anxiously round Shm’s reading room.

Terra was too busy being in awe of her surroundings to pay attention to Lbbp. She was in the Preceptor’s reading room; the sanctum of sanctums, the privatest of the privates, the personal study of the very head of the whole Preceptorate. To see the inside of the Preceptor’s reading room you generally either had to be in blood-curdling trouble, or actually be the Preceptor.

-
It’s a responsibility, I know, but it’s also an honour. And you’ve said yourself,
went on Shm in a low whisper,
that sometimes you worry about her feeling . . . excluded.

-
I’m not sure making her address an alien delegation in front of the whole city is the best way of making her feel included,
replied Lbbp in a similarly low whisper.
It’s just going to point out to everybody how different she is, as if they needed reminding of it.

Terra was dimly aware that Shm and Lbbp had started whispering, which meant they were talking about her and didn’t want her listening. That was fine with Terra; she was perfectly content not to listen. She was happily gazing at the scrolls and tablets adorning Shm’s shelves. Was that . . .? It was! A first edition of Tnk’s thesis! She couldn’t wait to see the look on Fthfth’s face when she told her.

-
Terra . . .
Shm addressed her directly. Better start paying attention.

-
Yes, Preceptor?

-
You are aware of the importance of maintaining good relations with the FaZoon?

-
Yes, Preceptor.