Terms of Service (16 page)

***

If she had watched in horror as Hannah cooked, Mrs. Meyers now watched in fascination as Hannah and her son cleaned up together.  She wouldn’t have guessed Gavin even knew how to clean up, but there he was, working alongside the woman he obviously felt very deeply for.  She studied them as she sipped her coffee.  Hannah was humming to herself, sometimes singing aloud, and then she would catch herself and giggle.  Gavin would smile affectionately at her and encourage her to continue.  It was very sweet even.  Mrs. Meyers smiled over the rim of her cup.  Too bad she lived so far away; she would give anything to see how this developed.

***

Minutes after Hannah had gone upstairs to read to the girls, Gavin had turned to his mother.  “Well,” he began rather sourly.  He was used to her constant criticisms.  No woman he’d ever had feelings for was good enough for him.  Hannah wasn’t well bred like the others.  She’d never been to preparatory school.  She had no experience with high society or the ways of his world.  She was fresh.  She might as well have walked off a farm she was so naïve and innocent.  He sighed and braced himself, ready to jump to her defense as needed.

“What?”  Mrs. Meyers said innocently, a smug smile on her face.

“Don’t play games with me, mother.” He leaned towards her.  “I know you must have formed some opinion of her already.  Out with it.”  He folded his arms over his chest.

Slowly setting her cup down on the saucer, Mrs. Meyers folded her hands in her lap and met his gaze with a grin.  “I like her,” she admitted.

“But,” Gavin prompted.

“No buts.”  She watched him for a reaction.  It was possible she had found a new form of torture.  She smiled widely.

“You aren’t upset she has kids?”    

“No,” she responded.

“What about her lack of breeding?”  He arched an eyebrow.

“She’s a person, dear, not a horse,” she chided.

Exasperated he threw his hands up.  “As if that has ever stopped you from saying it before!”  He glanced at the clock.  He knew if he wanted to hear Hannah read he couldn’t waste any more time arguing with his mother.  “We’ll talk,” he said as he left the room and jogged up the stairs.

Moments later, Gavin was standing shyly outside the door.  Zoe had come over and taken him by the hand.  Hesitantly he had entered the room, but he didn’t make it more than a step until he felt the usual constriction in his chest.  He tugged at the collar of his Carolina blue golf shirt.  He was ready to turn around and go back to his post in the hall when Hannah paused and caught his eye.

“Sit with me,” she said simply and patted the spot Zoe had just vacated.

“But that’s where Zoe was sitting.” He tried to protest.

“I’ll just sit on your lap,” Zoe offered, determined to do anything to make her mother resume reading.

Gavin glanced down at her, fidgeting.  Then he looked over at Rory and her obvious impatience.  Sighing, he knew he had no choice.  Slowly, he headed to the side of the bed.  It was torture.  He could feel beads of sweat break out on his forehead.  Hannah must have noticed since she was frowning at him.  The moment he forced himself to sit on the bed and sink into the pillows, Hannah adjusted herself so that she was leaned against his chest.

“There,” she said and smiled up at him.

For a moment, he was lost in her twinkling eyes.  A second later, he realized he could breathe easily with her close.  He exhaled and prepared to listen when Zoe climbed onto his lap.

Just like her mother, she settled herself and said, “There.”

“Back to our story,” Hannah said with a smile.  “What does the business man say?”

The girls wore serious looks on their faces as they said in unison, “I am concerned with matters of consequence.”

Gavin was instantly humbled.  He was a businessman.  Too often it felt like his life was one big matter of consequence after another, while in truth, none of it mattered to him.  He had thrown himself into the company because it was the family business.  It was what was expected of him.  He had thrown himself into getting married to India because once he completed college it was expected of him.  He had spent entirely too much of his life dealing with things he cared nothing about simply because it was expected of him.

Of course, hadn’t this thing with Hannah started because he was doing what was expected of him on some level?  He brightened.  Not really.  This…this had begun because he was shunning what was expected of him.  He had found a way around what his mother wanted and discovered a way to make himself happy in the process.  What had begun for all the wrong reasons was now flourishing for all the right ones.

He snuggled into the pillows a little more and smiled down at the girls and Hannah.  Maybe they could be a family.  Maybe he could have what was always expected of him on his terms.  For the first time in a long time, he was happy and he understood what truly mattered in life.

Soon enough, the reading was done, the girls were in bed, and Hannah had joined him and was reading contentedly while he studied some of the files lying on his desk.  Shortly after nine, there was a brisk knock on the door before it was opened.  They both jumped slightly at the intrusion.

Mrs. Meyers glanced back and forth between the two. She smiled.  “Well, I’m turning in for the night.  Sleep well, you two.  See you in the morning,” she ended in a pleasant sing- song voice.  Then she turned on her heels and exited the room, shutting the door behind her.

Gavin was shocked.  His mother had almost seemed happy, which was utterly uncharacteristic of her.  “Hm.”  He began tapping his pen while he contemplated his mother’s actions.

Hannah sat up in the chair and dropped her legs to the floor.  “Not to interrupt,” she said slowly.  “I know you’re deep in thought.”  She gestured to his pen to support her statement.  “But I was wondering where you are sleeping while your mother is here.”  She watched him for a reaction.

He grabbed his head in his hands.  “Dammit,” he growled.  Then he stood and walked over toward the fireplace where he began pacing.  

“Didn’t give that much thought, chief?” Hannah joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Obviously not,” he snapped.

“Hey,” she chided, “don’t take your anger out on me.”  She crossed her arms and stood in what could only be described as her scolding mommy posture.

Shoulders drooping in defeat, Gavin sighed.  “You’re right, of course.”  He shrugged.

Quick to forgive, Hannah graced him with an understanding smile before continuing the conversation.  “Well, where do you normally sleep?”  

“In the girls’ room,” he answered weakly.

“Okay,” she said slowly.  “So, do you want the girls to bunk with me so you can sleep there?”

“No,” he answered weakly.  “I may have let mother believe we’re…together.”  He cautiously watched for a reaction.  

“Okay,” she said again, still waiting for a solution.

“So, she would expect me to be upstairs sharing a room with you,” he said quietly.

Hannah stiffened.  “Really.”

Gavin frowned.  “I’m just as upset over this as you are,” he complained.

“Well, what do you have to be upset over?  I’m the one who has to suddenly share her bed with her employer!”  Hannah snapped and placed her hands on her hips.

“I can’t sleep in that room.  I hate being in that room.  I have panic attacks at the mere thought of entering that room.  And now…I’ve sentenced myself to a weekend of hard time…
in that room
.”  He turned and faced the fire, unwilling to see her reaction to all he had admitted.

Hannah crept over to him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and laid her head on his back.  Gavin relaxed slightly at her touch.  “What is it about that room?” she asked gently.  “Was that ever your room?”  

“Yes,” he responded weakly.

“Okay.  Are there just bad memories from your marriage?”  

“It’s more than that,” he said in a low voice.  

“Tell me,” Hannah urged.  “You know I’ll understand.  You know I won’t judge you or laugh at you or make you feel badly in any way.  Trust me, Gavin,” she said, giving him an extra squeeze.  “Trust me like I trust you.”

He knew her intent was to instill strength, but it only made him feel worse.  He wasn’t worthy of her trust.  She was living with him under false pretenses, which was why he was going to suffer for the next three nights in that room.  He at least owed her an explanation.

Turning slowly, Gavin held her upper arms so she knew he still needed her touch.  Once he had maneuvered to face her, he stared deeply in her eyes, studying what he saw there.  The acceptance she offered nearly shattered him.  Taking a deep breath, he spoke.  “That was where my marriage ended.  That’s where I found my wife in bed with my sister doing…unimaginable things.”  He watched for a reaction.  “Say something,” he said weakly.

***

Hannah sighed.  Her heart ached for him.  She knew what it was like to lose someone to another.  It explained the condition of the room and why he slept downstairs.  He didn‘t want to be closer to his study. It was about being farther away from his painful past.  “I figured it was something like that,” she said honestly.  “I had hoped it wasn’t, because I know how much that hurts.”  He held her closer, pulled her head tight to his chest.  “I guess we have more in common than I thought,” she murmured.

Emotionally drained, Hannah let out a sigh.  “Well, I’m exhausted,” she noted.  She stretched some to emphasize her point.  “Are you coming?”  She watched him for a reaction.  She wanted to make going to bed together seem as natural as apple pie, but feared that she was doing a poor job of it.

Staring at her in surprise he asked, “So, I’m staying with you?”  

She could tell just by looking at him he had mixed feelings about the situation.  As close as they had been the previous evening while he held her all night on the patio, she knew in less neutral territory, an actual bedroom, they would both be nervous.  “Yeah, you’re staying with me.”

Hannah walked toward the door.  “I just want to take a bath first, okay?”  She watched as he nodded numbly.  “I’ll be ready for bed in say…forty-five minutes.  Does that work for you?”

He wore a confused look on his face.  “So, you want me to come up in forty-five minutes?”

Walking back to the sofa, Hannah sat down and patted the seat beside her.  Slowly, Gavin sat in his usual spot.  “Is this the kind of marriage you had?”  She wondered.  “Did you two never go to bed at the same time so you could talk about your day or just snuggle before bed?”  

He stared at her.  “Did you?”  He frowned.  For some reason, he hated to think of her sharing the kind of intimacy she described with anyone other than him.  The moment she posed the question, he could imagine them doing everything she suggested…and more.

Chuckling, Hannah admitted.  “Nope.  I went to bed alone every night.”  She frowned.  “Come to think of it, there were lots of mornings that I woke up alone as well.”  She sighed.  “I just asked because that’s the kind of relationship I want some day.”  She shrugged.  “I guess it seems silly to you, but remember how you asked me about wanting to be close to someone?”  He nodded.  “I think about being close to somebody all the time.  I never had that.  It’s what I yearn for.”

“You yearn, huh?”  He smirked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yup, I yearn.  Only I want strings.  Lots and lots of strings.  I want to be good and attached.”  She nodded and smiled playfully then hopped up from the couch.  “So, I’m going to go have a nice relaxing soak in the tub.  See you soon?”

***

Gavin gave her a genuine smile.  He could give her the intimacy she craved.  Hell, he’d gladly give her the strings she desired.  No,
yearned
for.  First, he had to make it through the bedroom door.

He had hoped maybe having the truth out in the open would help him work through the issue he had with even being in the room.  It didn’t.  When Hannah emerged from the bathroom a while later, she found Gavin standing in the doorway looking frustrated and ashamed.

She studied him for a moment, while toweling her hair dry.  She had the robe he bought her cinched around her waist.  He was intrigued with the idea that she might be naked underneath.

“You’ll have to come in to find out,” she teased.

Startled, and feeling like he was caught, Gavin straightened.  “I don’t know what you mean,” he stuttered.

Chuckling, Hannah offered him a dazzling smile.  “Of course you do.”  She turned and brought the towel back to the bathroom.  A moment later she walked out and said, “I saw you staring at the bathrobe.  It doesn’t take a genius to figure out you’re wondering what I’m wearing underneath it.”  She crossed her arms over her chest.  “Am I wrong?”  She arched her eyebrow in a challenge.

Sighing, Gavin admitted, “You’re not wrong.”  He shrugged helplessly.

“So, are you going to come find out?”  She stood on one side of the bed, far from his reach.  

“I don’t know if I can,” he said quietly.  “It’s been different with the girls here, but when it’s just the two of us, it dredges up reminders of the past…”  His voice trailed off.