Tempus (13 page)

Jennifer, the server, become suddenly animated, “You mean the new guy that just moved here?  I heard him talking to your dad,” she looked at me.  “Ohmigod, he is the most gorgeous guy I have
ever seen
!  He had the most beautiful eyes!”

Steve frowned, but she continued to talk to me and Julie, coming around to stand between us; her voice had gone up three octaves.  “He has the blackest hair, and the bluest eyes, and the whitest teeth, and the most beautiful smile!”  She leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, “And the
cutest
butt.”

We three girls giggled.  Steve cleared his throat.  Jennifer straightened up then, looking at Steve apologetically.  “I’m sorry, what can I get for you to drink?”  She took our drink order and gave us three menus.  As she left to get our drinks she stopped, looked at Julie and me.  “Gabriel.  Like the
Archangel
.”  She sighed and turned away.  We all burst out laughing again, even Steve.

Jennifer was nice, but not necessarily someone I would put trust in when it came to an accurate description of ‘gorgeous.’  She also thought her
boyfriend
was gorgeous.  He had red, unruly hair, his face was more freckle than not, he was past the ‘big-boned’ side of chubby, and he had a huge gap between his front teeth.  His name was Wallace.  Everyone called him either Wooly Wally because of his buffalo-ish red hair, or Wally Walrus because of his teeth.  That’s the only reason I could remember his name.

That’s also why I cringed.  What was this Gabriel guy going to look like?  I would not like working around someone who looked like Wally, or worse.  At least I wouldn’t have to do it often, so that gave me comfort.  Jennifer brought our drinks right back, and I watched Steve take a sip of his coke, watched his lips around the straw.  Those were some nice lips.  Very nice.

I looked up, and Steve was watching me watch him.  I blushed.  I was so embarrassed, but he just reached over under the table and took my hand.  Jennifer interrupted the brief interlude with “So what can I get for you?”

I hadn’t even looked at the menu.  Julie ordered a salad, so I did the same, I wasn’t that hungry.  Steve ordered a double chili cheeseburger and fries.

My eyes had somehow ended up looking at Steve's lips again.  They smiled at me.  Julie groaned.  “Kiss already, would you!  I won’t look.”  She turned her back, sipping her coke.

Steve leaned over and gave me a soft, sweet kiss.  It made the back of my neck all tingly, and my breathing deeper.  I decided I could get used to it,
definitely
.  He didn’t stay so long it became gross in public, but long enough I knew he would have liked it to last longer.  I would have too.

“You can look now.”  Steve said, a touch of a husky laugh in his voice.

Julie turned and batted her eyes at us, sipping her coke noisily, with her cheeks sucked all the way in.  It made her forehead, eyes and nose look too big, like a Roswell alien, and I suddenly laughed so hard I snorted.  They joined in, Julie shooting coke through her nose, and choking for a moment, which only served to make us all laugh harder.  My sides began to ache.

I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I enjoyed myself so much.  I was glad that Julie and Steve got along well, most of the time we were inseparable. 
Points
for getting along with Julie.  My list crossed my mind for the first time since I left my house.  The list.  The erased words.

I hadn’t realized I stopped laughing and started frowning until Steve poked my knee and asked me what was wrong.  It took me a second to make something up.  “I was just thinking how great this was, but when school starts—I mean when we’re all back in school—we probably won’t get to do this much.”

Steve scooted his chair against mine and put his arm around me.  “I tell you what; we’ll do this every day until school starts if it will make you happy, kiddo.”

I smacked him on his chest, hard, and he guffawed.  “Not funny!”  I said, but he looked so tickled I couldn’t be mad.  I knew it was a joke.

“I’m sorry.  I’m just playin’ with ya.”  He grinned, and there was something so boyish and innocent in it.

“I know.  You’re still a turd, though.”  I said, sticking out my tongue.

“You’ll get me in trouble doing things like that.”  His eyes took on a different look.  “Suck it in before
you
get in trouble.” I wasn’t sure how serious he was, so I did, but I wrinkled my nose at him and he smiled again.

I had never been much of a flirt, but it seems I was doing it a little, unintentional as it may be.  Maybe not
completely
unintentional, but not entirely on purpose either.  I wondered what would happen if it
was
intentional.  Maybe I shouldn’t do it in front of Julie, though.  Nope, I wouldn’t, but I wanted to.

After the food came and we had eaten, Steve insisted on paying, but promised to let us pay for our own if we did it again tomorrow.  He also left the tip.  It seemed automatic for him to do so—I would have to give him points for that, too.  The list tried to pop into my head, so I grabbed Steve’s hand before he had a chance to grab mine.  I could tell by his reaction, he was both surprised and pleased.  

It was a comfortable, slow stroll back to the store, a little talking, a little laughing, and a few comical stories.  Steve and I had held hands, walking against each other the entire way.  As we crossed the street, we separated slightly, not staying quite so close together.  There was still a little bit of weirdness thinking about my dad seeing us
together
. 

When we got to the door, Julie grinned at us and went inside.  We stopped outside, and Steve pulled me back away from the windows view.  He gave me one long, deep kiss, followed by a couple of small ones.  Maybe there weren’t fireworks, but there was undeniably
something
more than average happening.  I could say with complete honesty that Steve was the best kisser I had ever kissed, in real life at least.

I let him hold my hand as we went into the store.  My dad was coming from the back, Julie babbling away behind him.  I couldn’t tell if she had been trying to buy us more time by occupying Dad, or if she was truly being that talkative.  I decided on the former when she smoothly found a way to finish and stop.  Steve and I halted by the front counter.

Dad noticed our linked hands, and raised one eyebrow, shaking his head nearly imperceptibly.  He didn’t say anything, though.  He placed a few new items on a shelf, rearranging the things already there.  As he turned around, he asked, “So where are you and Julie headed next?”

If that wasn’t a hint that it was time to go, it sounded like one.  I knew Steve needed to get back to work, and Dad was probably a little uncomfortable with the whole ‘me-and-Steve’ thing.  I could understand that,
completely
.

“We’re going back to Julies.  I don’t know what we’re going to do, probably stay there, or go to the park a while.”  I answered. 

“We’re definitely going to the park!”  Julie declared.

“Maybe I’ll get to see you a little while later, before you go out.”  He looked at Steve as he said the last part.

“Sure, Dad.”  I went and gave him a big hug.  “I love you.”

Dad hugged me back, “I love you too, sweetheart.”

He turned briskly and retreated to the back room.  Steve walked up behind me and put his arms around my waist, leaning down to my ear.  “I’ll pick you up at six thirty, if that’s okay.”

“That’s perfect.”  I replied.

He turned me, gave me a quick kiss, and pushed me toward the door.  To Julie he said, “Better get her out of here before I get fired.”

She grabbed me by the elbow and ushered me through the door.  I threw one last look over my shoulder before the door closed, and Steve blew me a kiss.  I caught it.

When we got to the corner, Julie pulled me around the edge of the building.  “That was totally
crazy
!”

“What was?  What did I do?”

“No,
you
didn’t do anything.  Well, maybe you did, but you weren’t doing anything wrong.  God, the way he looked at you.”  She sighed.  “He has never, ever,
ever
looked at anyone like that.  I’m telling you, I
know
.  He’s not crazy about you; he is totally in
love
with you!”

“What?”  We weren’t even technically dating, yet.

“Okay, look, I never said anything before now because of, well; you know what I’m trying to say, right?”  She stopped and looked at me close.  “You really
never
noticed?”

“Um, I’m not sure.  It depends what you mean, I think.  I don’t know.  Okay,
what
?”  I thought I knew, but I wasn’t saying.

We started walking toward her house, and she ‘filled me in.’  She told me that she had noticed a long time ago, subtle, and not so subtle things.  As she talked, I began to realize how much I had
missed
.  Conversations she had had with Steve, with me right in the room, working away.  I had been more effective than I thought at blocking him out.  It was scary.  Could a person
do
something like that, have life go on around them and not even notice?  Evidently
I
could.

Much may be done in those little shreds and patches of time which every day produces,

and which most men throw away.

—Charles Caleb Colton

By the time we reached her front porch, my eyes were opened to a lot of things.  Some things seemed impossible, I was sure she was remembering wrong.  Other things, however, once she said them, I had the faintest recollection.  Like when you’re trying to remember something and you know for a fact the memory is there, but you can’t quite get it back.  It’s like shadows in your mind, clearly there, but no substance.

“We’re home, Auntie!”  Julie shouted as we walked in the door.

“In the kitchen.”  She called.

We went back to Julies' room and she grabbed her camera.  I didn’t have mine with me, but I didn’t mind.  She promised to take any shots I wanted.  Julie liked to paint, too, and we habitually took our cameras
everywhere
.  We snapped shots of all the nouns--people, places, and things.  Most of the time the digital pictures just sat on our computers, something nice to look at now and then, but others—others inspired
art
.

Unexpectedly, Julie darted to her computer and punched the power button.  As the hard drive whirred to life and the screen flickered, she said, “I have something to show you.”

I walked over to the computer and waited.  After it booted, she went to her photos folder.  Inside the folder were other folders, listed by years.  She clicked the one named ‘2010.’  That folder had others listed by month.  She clicked on ‘June -2010.’  There were yet other folders, listed by dates.  My computer should be so organized!

She clicked on the one marked for my birthday, ‘6-22-10.’  It had two folders inside, one named ‘Jessie’s Birthday’ and one named ‘Steve.’  She turned in her chair to face me.  “Remember all those photos I took at your birthday party?”  I nodded.  “I didn’t send them all to you.  You’ll see why.”

She double clicked the folder named ‘Steve.’  When the photos popped up, she double-clicked the first one to open the photo browser, and then slid out of her seat so I could sit down.  I looked closely at the first one.  Steve was standing on my right, a little behind me, looking at my face, and smiling.  I was looking at a gift on the table.  I clicked the forward button.

The next one showed Steve sitting at the table with the others.  I was blowing out my candles.  He was obviously looking at my mouth, and it wasn’t amusement on his face.  I had seen that look, in the truck, when he said he wanted to kiss me.  I clicked the next one.

Steve was behind my chair, and I was holding up the necklace Dad had given me.  He was looking down at the back of my head, his hands on the chair, his fingers nearly touching my shoulders.  He had a contemplative expression.  I clicked the next, the next, and the next.

Each photo, Steve was there, watching me.  There were a
lot
of photos.  I sat there in silence, wondering once again how I could have missed so completely something so
obvious
.  I remembered Steve being there, but that was all I remembered about his presence.  I suddenly wondered, did my dad know?

“I guess I can send them to you now, right?”  She asked.

“Yeah.”  I was still too surprised to say more than that.

“I’ll send them tonight; let’s go before we lose the best light!”  She was whirling toward the door, not waiting to see if I was following.  As I stood, I took one last glance at the computer screen, and then followed her out the door.

Luckily, the park wasn’t far from her house.  Julie was snapping away as we walked.  She had five hundred pictures of the azalea bush we passed, what would six more hurt?  We reached the end of the block, crossed the street, walked another block, and entered the park.

It was an old park, full of knarred and twisted trees.  Julie switched her camera to macro and got some close-ups of the bark.  Near the back of the park, I noticed a small stand of trees.  It wasn’t that I noticed them for the first time; I had photographed them many times, and walked around them more times than that.