Blurred Expectations

by

Carrie Ann Ryan

http://www.carrieannryan.com/

Copyright Fated Desires Publishing, LLC

Carrie Ann Ryan

January 2013

Cover by Scott Carpenter

This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locals or organizations is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved. With the exception of quotes used in reviews, this book may not be reproduced or used in whole or in part by any means existing without written permission from the author.

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Hannah Jamenson has babies on the brain. It seems that her sisters-in-law are expanding their family in the blink of an eye, but Hannah feels left behind. Every time that little test reads negative a little part of her dies and she feels like her Healing powers are failing her. Her mates, Josh and Reed, are doing everything they can to help her deal with their trials and losses, but they too feel like there is nothing they can do.

Just when the lines of what they mean to each other go out of focus, an enemy from Josh's past is back to prove the things that go bump in the night are real and everything they had held dear is now in jeopardy. In order to fight back and find their way, they'll need to put everything on the line before they lose it all.

Author’s Note: This is a novella set between books 4 and 5 to give you a taste of Reed, Josh, and Hannah. It is best that you have already immersed yourselves in the Redwood Pack world, however even new readers will enjoy a glimpse of the Redwood’s favorite triad
.

This one goes out to Tonya and fingers. Yes, you know what that means hon. This one’s for you and your support!

Thank you so much readers for loving Josh, Hannah, and Reed’s story in Trinity Bound!! I love you guys for taking a chance on a menage! I knew these three still had another story in them, and here it is.

The solitary pink line mocked Hannah Jamenson as she sat on her bathroom floor, her free arm wrapped around her middle. She blinked away the tears that filled her eyes, though it was beyond pointless. They fell anyway, leaving salty lines down her cheeks. She’d have to clean her face
again
and put on makeup to cover the blotchiness. With practice, she was getting better at hiding the evidence of her tears. Her failure.

Another month, another failure.

She wasn’t pregnant.

Again.

Hannah looked down at the offending evidence of her inadequacy then threw it across the room. It hit the wall with a pang that didn’t ease the tremors within her. Anger coursed through her veins, and she cursed. Anger at the goddess for not blessing her with a baby of her own. Anger at the other Jamenson women who could have a baby with only a thought and, in her newest sister-in-law, Bay’s, case, an afterthought. Anger at herself for not being able to have a child and for disappointing her husbands,
her mates
.

Josh and Reed were the loves of her life, and every time that little plastic stick revealed there would be no baby, she felt as though she’d lost; that she wasn’t worthy. Though they never looked down on her for her failure, she could never be sure what they were thinking. Their mating bond didn’t allow that.

Hannah slowly unwound from her fetal position, stood and picked up the pregnancy test. She didn’t need to show this one to the guys; she hadn’t shown the previous two to them either. They would know the moment they looked at her. They always knew.

Reed and Josh knew her in every way possible. They knew her facial expressions, her body movements, her moods—everything. No, she didn’t need to show them the stick. They would know the moment she tried to put on her not-so-brave face and said it would be okay.

Because it wouldn’t. Not when she was one woman with two men. Of all the Jamenson woman—the wives and mates of the Jamenson brothers—she should have been the pregnant one. She had the best odds, but, apparently, math wasn’t in her favor. She wrapped up the stick and stuck it in the bottom of the trash. It wasn’t the best hiding place, but it really didn’t matter anymore.

Hannah turned to the sink and ran the tap. She scooped some water in her hands to wet her parched throat, and then washed her face again. She gripped the sides of the pedestal sink that Josh had installed for her the month prior and tried to compose herself.

So what if she wasn’t pregnant? That didn’t mean she wouldn’t
ever
get pregnant. She placed a shaky hand on her stomach and bit her lip. She wanted a baby more than anything, and the fact that the goddess hadn’t blessed her with one yet gnawed at her.

Right after their wedding, they’d thought they had a chance. When that chance was lost in a moment of pain and panic, Josh and Reed had held her and tried to console her, all the while feeling the incredible loss.

But, time had passed, and they were ready.

Why wasn’t it happening for them?

Hannah finger combed her chestnut corkscrew curls away from her face and let out a deep breath. Some days she just wanted to chop off the long locks that trailed to the middle of her back, but she knew Josh and Reed loved her hair long and wild.

Anything for her men.

God, she loved them. She’d met the both of them in one of the worst situations possible. She’d been kidnapped from her home and potions store, forced to watch the attackers kill her mother, and then she’d been stuffed in a dark basement and chained to the wall. She’d met Reed there and had fallen for him, even when they both were certain they would die. The Centrals had taken Reed from his home when he sacrificed himself to save his sister-in-law Willow. Though they had been chained just far enough apart that they couldn’t touch, Reed’s wolf had tried to take care of her, and the Healer within herself had wanted to do the same for him.

Josh had been a human Finder, someone who could close their eyes and Find anyone in the world once he saw their face. He had only heard her and Reed’s names and had been able to find them. Though their mating may have been taboo to some, their triad was strong and held more magic than most—the trinity bond. They had broken the demon, Caym’s, connection to his hell and secured some peace for the Redwoods, at least for a little while.

But, there was no peace in her heart. Not when she couldn’t get pregnant.

“Goddess, I sound like a whiny brat.” She left the bedroom and walked to the kitchen, her body a bundle of nerves. “So what if I can’t get pregnant right now? It will happen. I’m healthy; Reed and Josh are healthy. I just need to believe in it.”

She poured herself a glass of orange juice and gulped. The sweet tang coated her tongue, giving her just enough sugar to perk right back up. She leaned against the counter and looked at the home they were slowly making their own. Though Reed had had a wonderful, artist-eclectic home before she and Josh had moved in, it was nice to see the blending of their lives. She had added the splashes of color and then life with a variety of plants. Josh had added comfier furniture and hand-built units. He’d even sanded down the corners and made them beautiful
and
childproof.

That ache settled in her stomach again, and she shook her head. No, she had to stop thinking about that. She needed to move on and keep trying. Even though it ate away a little at her each time, she needed to be strong.

Easier said than done.

Hannah finished the last of her orange juice then cleaned her glass. Just as she was about to get her coat to leave the house, the hair on her arms stood up, and she froze. Something was off, but what? She used her powers that connected her to the earth and reached out to see if anyone was on their property. She could feel the trees, the grass, and other natural things, but nothing out of the ordinary.

Maybe she’d been imagining it.

She rubbed her arms and looked out the window just to be sure. In the past, Caym had been able to come onto their land without hesitation. They’d lost some of their Pack mates through the invasions and it had torn at the Pack as a whole. Hannah still didn’t feel completely safe, though ever since Adam’s new mate, Bay, had done a blood bond with Edward and Kade, the wards should have been strong enough against Caym. No one outside of the Redwoods was supposed to be able to breach the wards, but Hannah never left that up to Fate. Their enemies had proven, over and over again, that where there was a will, there was a way.

She caught the time on the hall clock and winced. Damn, she was running late. She quickly locked up the house and made her way over to Bay and Adam’s home. She’d promised Bay that she’d come over to help the other woman out with Micah, the newest edition to the ever-expanding Jamenson clan. She failed to tamp down that little bit of jealousy over Bay’s new baby. At some point, there was just too much of it for Hannah to bury it all.

“Hannah, you’re here,” Bay said as she opened the door, her red curls falling around her face in disarray. Though Hannah had soft curves that her men said were sexy and sweet, Bay’s curves were all sex. No wonder Adam had wanted her the moment he saw her—and not just because of their mating instinct. Well, at least his body had wanted her from the start, but that was a different story. With the rest of the Jamenson women being slender, Hannah liked the fact that Bay was similar to her.

Even a witch with two mates sometimes needed a boost in self-confidence. Especially with how things were going lately.

No, she had to stop thinking about that. All it was doing was making her more depressed.

She pasted on a smile and hugged Bay as she entered her home. “Hi, hon. Sorry I’m late. I got distracted.”

Bay looked her over and gave a sad smile. Damn, she couldn’t hide anything from this family. They all knew.

Luckily, Bay didn’t say anything and led Hannah to the living room. Hannah loved the way Bay had slowly added photos to the walls of the house, something that had been lacking in Adam’s home before he’d met Bay. There was also a small photo of Anna, Adam’s first mate, framed on the mantel. Hannah didn’t know if she could have lived with that, but it had been Bay’s decision to remember the other woman in Adam’s life, something that just showed how much Adam and Bay needed and loved each other.

“I’m glad you’re here though,” Bay said as she sat down, her hands wringing together in nervousness.

“What’s wrong?” Hannah asked as she took a cookie from the plate on the table. It crumbled in her mouth in buttery goodness, and Hannah moaned. “Willow’s?”

Bay laughed. “Of course it’s hers. You know I can’t bake. Thank God Jasper married a woman who can because between you, Mel, and me, we’re a bit scary.”

“Hey, all of us can bake, just not to the artistic degree Willow can. Plus, why should we when Willow bakes so oh-my-goddess good?”

“True,” Bay said as she bit into her cookie.

“But, what’s wrong, Bay?”

“What?” The other woman shook her head. “Oh, sorry. I’m just worried about Adam.”

Hannah held the other woman’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “He’ll be okay.”

“I know. I
know
. It’s just that he’s having a tough time with his new prosthesis, and I’m afraid he’s doing too much too soon.”

Adam had lost his leg in the most recent battle with Caym. Though werewolves were fast healers, they couldn’t regrow limbs.