Tempting Target: Heart of a SEAL (23 page)

Getting up and moving away from her body was difficult, but as he went to the bathroom to get something for her to clean up with and dispose of the condom, he made himself put on the strength he knew he had within him. Would his heart ever recover? He wasn’t sure, but he knew one thing…Emmy wasn’t going to turn into his mother because of him.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

The time was near. Emmy didn’t know that much about relationships, but she knew what she had with Matt was special. However, with every gesture, glance, touch, and taste, she could feel Matt pulling back. There was something particularly brutal in the air tonight because he didn’t even want to eat dinner before telling her to run. That ritual that he would pull out was something wonderful because it showed he knew she liked to be playful, and he knew she liked to be held down, told what to do, and fucked hard.

Whatever his plan was, she didn’t want to hear it while she was naked and sweaty. There wasn’t much she could do about the sweaty since he was in the bathroom, but damned if she couldn’t fix the naked.

She figured she could reheat the dinner and have a meal. There was no way she was going to be able to choke down any food, but she could prepare it for him. The plates were set and the glasses filled when he came to the kitchen, and she could almost see the grim reaper of relationships following him out.

“Emmy the time we’ve spent together has been awesome, but I’ve got my orders and I’m leaving in a few days.”

“Well, that’s a few more days we have to spend together,” Emmy said, as she turned around to fiddle with something on the counter. Looking at him trying to put her down gently was hell. She should have stopped him or told him he knew what this was all about, but a part of her hoped that he wouldn’t be able to get it out of his mouth. She heard paper rustling, and he walked closer to her.

“Here is a plane ticket to the Philippines and your itinerary. You leave tomorrow morning.”

She turned around to look at him and couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You could have told me; I would have made my own plans. I don’t need to be kicked out of here, Matt. I deserve to be treated better than that.”

“You’re right, of course, but there is no time to piddle about this and that. I’m going to be gone soon, and I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“We’ve talked a lot about our lives, and I’ve listened to every word you’ve said. You don’t want me to wait around for you and be bitter; you’re sorry for the things your mother has gone through; and you want to be able to help her out more. See, I listen, but you… not so much. There is really one thing I want people to do for me, and that is to let me make my own decisions. I’ve confessed my love for you, and I’ve never been upset that those words haven’t reached my ears from your mouth, but I’ve felt them. I’m not going to ask you to confirm what I’m saying because I think you’re making a point, but I am, too.”

In the middle of her speech, Matt leaned so his butt was against the countertop and his eyes were on the floor. That may not seem like much to the regular person, but Matt didn’t look down from anyone or anything…but here he was not looking at her.

“What are you saying that I didn’t hear?” He studied her face in the way she loved so much, and she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. There was no way she was going to let a pity party get in the way of what she had to say.

“I left my family because people wanted to protect me so much they didn’t realize that I knew how to do that myself. You planned out my whole trip because you didn’t think I was strong enough to let you go. I know you have a job to do, and I know you don’t want me to wait, but that’s my decision… not yours.”

They stared at each other, and she waited to see what he was going to say, but it didn’t look like he was going to say another word. He nodded his head, but she knew that—in his mind—it was over. She was done with this; she’d gather her things and get to a hotel. She’d gone from having a large amount of money available to her to having even more from her online accounting firm she’d created with her vast amount of spare time.

He grabbed her arm as she passed, and as much as she wanted to deny him, she couldn’t.

“What Matt? You had nothing to say while I was talking, and basically we’ve just had our goodbye fuck, so what else could you possibly want?”

“I know that you don’t like people making plans for you, and I should have thought about that before I made the plans for you. I did it for a few different reasons.”

“Like?” She wasn’t going to let him off easy with this one.

“I know that was where you were on your way to before you got side tracked with the storm and my health issues.” He pulled her to the couch and sat her on his lap.

“For someone who’s kicking me swiftly out the door, you sure are grabby.”

“I just found out today that I’m leaving in a few days, and that means I won’t be home much and I’ll deploy when they see fit. I don’t want to leave you here stranded.”

“Are you telling me you didn’t know I had my own money and didn’t need you to pay for my ticket? I’ve never asked you for anything, and yet there has always been food here for you to eat and your favorite beer has always been available.” She watched him look around his house like it was the first time he’d noticed all the things she did here, but he wasn’t deterred.

“Also, it’s not about me kicking you out swiftly. It was just easier if we did this quickly because it’s going to kill me to say goodbye to you. I’d hoped that if we did it like removing a Band-Aid it would be better for both of us.”

“So you were thinking of me when you decided that I needed to be gone tomorrow.”

“Yes.”

She gave him a quick kiss on his cheek and stood up. “Alright then, Matt. I’ll grant your wish. I’ll leave tomorrow, and I won’t make you say goodbye.”

He stood with her and the big strong SEAL looked like he’d been knocked back a peg. That wasn’t truly her plan, but she was happy that he was at least concerned about what was going on in her mind for a change.

She went to the room and quickly threw all her things in her suitcase before she called the cab.

“Where are you going tonight?” he asked when she’d come out of the room. She’d barred him from coming in because she knew he’d try to get her to stop her plans and let them stay one more night together.

“I’m going to a hotel. Since my flight is so early in the morning, I want to be close to the airport.” She knew she was being ridiculous because the island was small enough that this wasn’t necessary, but there were some calls she wanted to make, and she didn’t think she could make them here.

He nodded, and she knew that he was probably knew that she needed to feel like she owned this a little more—even though it was a quicker end to what they had. It wasn’t like Matt had changed his mind about her waiting for him.

She moved to the door and the utter surprise on his face made her want to stay, but if he didn’t ask, she wouldn’t do it. He came to the door and picked up her suitcase.

“I’m going to walk you down to the cab, which I know you called.”

She could only nod and watch him bend down and get her suitcase. “Wait one second.” Matt ran into the room and was there for a few seconds before he returned with her suitcase still in hand.

They made it downstairs quickly, and if she didn’t get into the cab right at this very second, she was going to break down in tears and beg him to come back to her, but she knew that was his worst nightmare, so she kept her back straight and her head up as she watched the cabbie and Matt put her luggage in the trunk.

He gave the cabbie money and then came back to see her before she could sit down in the back of the cab.

“I’m not one to get all emotional out in public or in private, but I wanted to say thank you.”

That wasn’t what she was thinking she was going to hear. “For what?”

“For making me smile more, for sitting with me when my family hadn’t made it yet, for changing your plans, for loving me… for just being you. I don’t know what my future holds, but I wish you nothing but the best. I hope when you think of me a smile crosses your mouth and you heat up just a little bit.” He smiled at her, and his bright blue eyes sparkled like he liked the thought of that.

“I hope the same thing for you.” She reached up, kissed him, and slid into the seat. When the cabbie pulled off, she looked back, waved, and saw him put his hand up to wave back.

This shouldn’t have hurt so much. It was a simple affair that was supposed to teach her a bit about herself. She knew that he had been planning something, but so was she. Would it work? She wasn’t sure since the person she had to talk to could go either way when it came to her, but she’d try.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

7 months later1

It had been a hard few months, but he was finally going home. There were so many times that Matt wanted to pick up his cell and call Emmy, but that was before he’d been taken as a prisoner of war. It hadn’t been for long, thank god, but for two months of his life he’d been treated like the lowest piece of shit and beaten within an inch of his life. While he was there, he figured out that Emmy was a gift that was given to him to help him during that period of time.

During the fifty-nine days he’d been held captive, he’d thought about her every day. He’d thought of her before that, but when he was in there, he thought of her smile, her laugh, and the way she always tried to make everything positive. He’d talked to physiatrists and counselors to make sure his mind was alright before he was released to the civilian population, and all he could think about was Emmy. Since he no longer had her phone number and he didn’t have enough information to contact her, he hoped that she found his dog tags that he’d dropped into her bag at the last minute.

He hadn’t seen his childhood home in the last few years, as his mother liked to come to where he was or close to it so she could see the world. His key still fit into the lock, and he pushed open the door, hoping that she didn’t have a surprise party waiting for him. The house was quiet, and there was a note and a plate of food on the counter.

Well, he didn’t want a big showing for his return, but one person there would have been nice. He dropped his bag near the door and sat down at the table feeling mentally and physically exhausted. He was a civilian now, and he hoped that he could start feeling like it, because now he just felt old and alone.

He was stupid to push Emmy away like he had, but he didn’t feel like he’d had a choice. She’d left for the Philippines as planned because she wasn’t at any hotel nor was she in the airport… he’d checked. It wasn’t like he was going to cover any different information, but he just wanted to say something. He regretted not telling her he loved her, but at the time, his reasons for not telling her were solid.

“Would you like me to warm up your food for you?” a soft voice that sounded familiar said, and he remembered that his mother had taken up a border to help with the bills and rent. It was rude to not introduce himself, but he supposed that she knew who he was since she wasn’t freaking out with a man just walking in the house.

“That’s alright. I think I just I’ll head up to bed.” He looked over to see the shapely woman taking the plate and putting it in the microwave anyway. “Is my mother home?”

“She’s out at bowling tonight, but she’ll be home shortly.” The woman was moving around the kitchen, and her sweet smell was as arousing as it was familiar. Getting hot for a woman in the same house your mother took her morning coffee and talked to her friend Glenda in was not cool at all, but he didn’t seem to be able to stop it.

There was something about her that was making him horny as hell, but that couldn’t be right. It was like the lights had been turned off when Emmy left…. Or rather when he had to go on a mission and pushed her away. There had been opportunities for him to do something sexual, but he just wasn’t interested.

The woman seemed to be flirting with him, and that was turning on so very many buttons. When he’d talked to his mother and she told him about her roommate, she was always so happy to talk about her. The funny thing was he’d suggested a roommate for her long ago and nearly got his ear chewed off, so either his mother needed additional money, which was hard to believe, or she had a soft spot for this woman in some way.

She slid the plate across the table, and he looked up to thank her, but no words left his mouth. Emmy stood there looking like everything he’d ever wanted in his life, and he didn’t know if the mental instability that the doctors had been throwing around were true, or if she were really standing right in front of him.

“Matt? Say something.” She stood there looking like the angel he thought she was, but her eyes held an anxiety that only came when you weren’t sure if you were going to be rejected or not. That was certainly not the case when it came to her, but he could see how it would seem that way.

“Are you really here?” He put his hand to her face and stroked her cheek.

“That’s the first thing you can ask?” She laughed and snuggled up to his hand. “Yes, I’m really here.”

“When, why, how…?” The questions just kept coming, and he didn’t know how to stop them but decided to just shut his mouth so she could tell him the answers to some of the questions.

“Well, I called your mother from the hotel and asked if she knew of an apartment I could rent near her. She asked why, and I told her that you didn’t want me to wait for you because you’d seen what waiting had done to her, but I was going to wait anyway. I hoped that she’d let me wait near her so that I’d have more information about you. When I got here, she said that I could start off here and then maybe we could look for an apartment later if it didn’t work out.”

“You’ve been here with my mother the whole time I was away?” he asked, amazed that his mother could keep a secret for so long. “Why didn’t she tell me that you were here?”

“She said you never asked. There were times I’d hear her talk about her roommate and what we were doing, but you didn’t seem that interested.” She looked like that knowledge hurt, and he could understand that, but she looked like she needed a bit more information about where his mind was at the time of those calls.

“I wasn’t, but that was because I didn’t know it was you. I thought she was trying to set me up with someone and I didn’t really want to hear much about her. If she would have said your name, we could have been chatting for a good while now.”

“The why is that I started this trip to learn about myself, and I did that. I learned that I was strong and capable of making my own decision, and the first one I made was that I wanted a real relationship with you, but I knew that you didn’t want me to wait. That wasn’t your decision, but I let you have your time without me, hoping you would spend your time thinking about me.” The smile on her face told him she thought she was pretty witty, and he’d have to agree.

“It’s been hard the last few months.”

“I’d heard. When you’d gotten captured, we didn’t know anything about it, and the only time they told us about it was when it was over.” She put her hand on his face and watched him try to figure all this out. “We were denied access to come and see you, but your mother sent you packages and I added to them.”

“Yes, I got them, but I wanted you.” He told her, looking like he still couldn’t believe she was in front of his eyes.

“I’ve been here waiting for my prince to arrive, or at least ask about me.”

He drew his fingers down her cheek, and when he got to her neck, he saw the dog chain that had his name, age, and social security number on it.

“You wear this?” he asked her solemnly.

“Ever since I saw that you put it in my luggage, I haven’t been without it.” She must have noticed that he wasn’t going to eat anything. “If you’re still tired, I’m sure your mother wouldn’t mind if you didn’t see her until tomorrow.” She stood there, wringing her hands, and he didn’t think he’d seen behavior like that since he first met her. Was she nervous, self-conscious, weirded out by his new appearance?

“I stick by my earlier words that say that I’m not really hungry and would like to lay down, but I want to add another few words to go with that.” He studied her and could almost taste her skin from where he stood, but he was tired of his imagination.

“What could that be?” She said as she watched him get a glass from the cupboard and getting a cup of coffee.

With a smile on his face and in his heart, he couldn’t believe his good fortune of having this woman with him. She’d have to convince him to let her go, and it would have to be a strong argument or he’d have to feel that she was done. Her being in his childhood home and living with his mother was a good sign that she wanted to try for something serious.

“I love you, Emmy.”

Her eyes got wide, and she started blinking really quickly. He’d always been slightly unsettled by her tears, but these were going to be happy ones. It was something he’d never said to another woman, but when he was locked away from civilization and thinking of his regrets, he didn’t have many but that one loomed over him like a black cloud. He knew that he’d get the opportunity to fix that error, but he had no idea it would be this soon.

“I love you too, Matt.” She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him all over his face.

“I’ve wanted to say that for a good long while, but that wasn’t the word I thought of when I first figured out you were in the home of my childhood.”

“It wasn’t?” She looked puzzled, and he could barely contain his pleasure over how his life had turned out.

“No, it was before that. Where are you sleeping?” The house was only so big, and it only had two bedrooms. Would his mother have made her sleep on the couch, or had she bought a cot?

“I’m sleeping in your bed. I hope you don’t mind. Your mother said you wouldn’t have a problem with it.”

He set her down and away from him because after all he’d been through in the last few months, his body had been shut down. However, now it felt like he was on fire, and his nerves were just waking up after a long slumber.

“You look upset, Matt. Are you angry?”

“Angry? Why? Because you’re in my bed? Emmy that’s the best place in the world for you. I’m not mad about that at all. I think you have confused my angry face with my lust-filled face. Just thinking about you rubbing around in my sheets and resting your head on my pillow has me so hard I can barely see.” He told her honestly.

“Alright,” she said trying to give him a smile. “Then, what was the word that came to mind when you saw me then?”

“Run.”

Emmy took off in a fit of giggles, and this time she had a little more room to move, and she’d better move quickly because he was ready, hungry, and now happy for the future that looked so bright he was going to need suntan lotion.

THE END