Tell Me You Love Me (19 page)

Phil looked behind her to where the entertainment center was set up. “Seven twenty-four.”

“Oh, shit! I’m supposed to be at work.” She’d never missed a day’s work without calling in. “I’ve got to get out of here.’’

But as she started to hustle off, the floor swayed beneath her and her head pounded something awful. Phil was on his feet in a flash, gathering her in his arms.

“Easy,” he said.

“I don’t feel so good.’’

“You’re in no shape to go anywhere.”

“But my job—’’

“Call them. Tell them you’re sick.’’

Wendy managed a weak nod. “You’re right. I can’t go in like this.’’

“You can have my bed all day if you need it.’’

“Why don’t you join me?” she asked. Realizing how he would construe her words, Wendy quickly added, “The sofa’s too small for you. I
feel guilty for keeping you from getting a good night’s sleep.’’

Phil met her eyes, then glanced away. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.’’

And with those words, Wendy felt like the world’s biggest loser. She’d been chasing a dream with Phil, a dream based on her own foolish notions. The man was her friend, nothing else.

If she didn’t desperately need sleep to cure her awful headache, she would run from his apartment and not look back.

Instead, she tried to play it cool. “I only meant that we could share the bed so you wouldn’t be uncomfortable. But you’re right. That’s a bad idea. However, I insist you take the bed and I take the sofa. It’s only fair.’’

“No. You go on back to the bed,” Phil told her, his tone insistent.

Wendy didn’t want to argue. She wanted to disappear into a black hole. “All right. If you insist. But first, can I use your phone?’’

“Absolutely. There’s one in the bedroom.’’

Wendy nodded briefly, then practically ran back to the bedroom. Inside the room, she closed the door behind her, then rested her body against it. She inhaled a series of jerky breaths, none of which made her feel any better.

She was a fool. She would call work and tell them she couldn’t make it in today, get some sleep, then get the hell out of here.

And forget about Phil once and for all.

Tyanna wrapped a terry-cloth robe around her body as she hurried to the door. She had hoped whoever it was would go away, but the frantic knocking hadn’t stopped.

She frowned when she looked through the peephole and saw Wendy. Opening the door in a rush, she said, “Wendy, what’s wrong?’’

“I feel like a big idiot,” Wendy replied glumly. “I—” Her eyes darted beyond Tyanna’s shoulder, and she promptly shut her mouth.

Tyanna turned and looked behind her to see Sheldon standing there. She turned back to Wendy. “Wendy, you don’t look good at all. Come in.’’

“No. I didn’t mean to bother you. I just wanted to drop this off.” She dug a video out of her purse and passed it to Tyanna. “Since I’m not going to see you at work today.’’

“If you two need to talk…” Sheldon said.

“No.” Wendy waved off the suggestion. “I’m fine, really. Hi, Sheldon. Bye, Sheldon.” She forced a smile, then pivoted on her heel and disappeared down the hall.

“Wendy.” Tyanna stepped into the hallway, watching as Wendy darted to the stairs. Wendy clearly wasn’t going to stop. To Sheldon she said, “I wonder what the heck that was about.’’

“You want to go after her?’’

Tyanna shook her head. “I’ll never catch her. I’ll just call her on her cell, find out why she’s not at work. I hope she’s okay.’’

“You want to watch the video?” Sheldon asked.

“Oh. Yeah.” Tyanna closed the door. “May as well.’’

She walked to her bedroom, and Sheldon followed her. There she turned on the TV, put the cassette into her VCR, and hit
PLAY
. Then she joined Sheldon on the bed to watch it.

The music and credits started, and Sheldon clapped, embarrassing her. And when she saw her image the first time, she giggled. She looked different on videotape—at least different from what she’d expected. It took a moment to get used to, but once she did, she almost forgot that she was watching herself and Wendy, that’s how absorbed in the video she got. The background looked amazing. All the cuts from one angle to another were smooth. The video was, as Wendy had said, totally professional. Her friend was right. It was ready to be marketed.

“That looks pretty damn great,” Sheldon announced.

Tyanna turned to him, a smile dancing on her lips. “It does, doesn’t it?’’

“Hell, yeah. You’re gonna knock this Ronnie guy’s socks off.’’

Squealing, Tyanna threw her arms around Sheldon and hugged him. “Oh, Sheldon. If he likes it, this will be a dream come true.’’

Sheldon planted a soft kiss on her lips. “Congratulations, sweetheart.”

“Well, he still has to review it.’’

“And he’ll no doubt love it.’’

Tyanna’s eyes were filled with happiness as she looked into Sheldon’s. “I’m so excited. This is what I’ve wanted for a long, long time. If we can really do this, I may finally have a career that I love. My father should finally be happy.’’

“I’m proud of you,” Sheldon told her. But he suddenly felt a weird sensation, like his stomach was falling. If this fitness guru loved the video, Tyanna might move away. He wasn’t quite ready to deal with that possibility.

“Ronnie Vaughn is such a success. To have a fitness video released under his name…This could not only be a dream come true, but also a financial success.’’

“I’m sure it will be.’’

She gave him an odd look. “You okay?’’

“Sure.” What was he supposed to say to her? Don’t go to L.A.? He had no right to stand between her and her dreams.

Extending a hand, Sheldon trailed a finger softly down the length of her spine from the top of her neck to the small of her back. She moaned softly and arched into him. A simple movement, but with Tyanna, even simple was seductive.

“I know what you’re trying to do,” she practically purred.

“No sex, remember?”

“Well, that was earlier….”

Sheldon kissed the tip of her nose. “Nope. You said you wanted to see if there was more to our
relationship than the physical, so at least for the rest of the day it’s hands off.’’

“Oh.” She sounded disappointed.

Sheldon got off the bed. “I’ve got to head home, anyway. Check on my mother. Deliver another application to the Broward County Sheriff’s headquarters and then, off to work.’’

“You’ve got a full day.’’

“Yep. But I should be at the gym later tonight.’’

Tyanna stood to join him. She slipped her arms around his neck. “You want to get a shower?’’

“I’ll get one when I get home.’’

“All right….”

Sheldon kissed Tyanna’s forehead, then lightly brushed his lips over hers. “I…I’ll miss you today.’’

Tyanna stroked his cheek. “I’ll miss you, too.’’

I love you.

Three simple words. Were they really so hard to say? Sheldon had wanted to, he really had, but even as they were on the tip of his tongue, he’d opted for the safe “I’ll miss you” instead.

What was it that held him back?

He knew what—the memory of his father. Dear old Dad, who said those words all the time, whenever he wanted something.

All his life, Sheldon had tried to believe he wasn’t like his father, but maybe they were more alike than he wanted to admit—because it was Tyanna’s talk of possibly moving away that had inspired him to tell her he loved her. Did he want to say the words in order to make her stay, or did he really love her?

He didn’t want to lose her.

But he didn’t want to hold her back either, especially not with three words that could easily make a prisoner of her like they had of his mother—a mother who needed him around right now.

Sheldon sighed as he drove. He was probably being too hard on himself. He knew his mother wouldn’t agree with his errant thoughts, and maybe his mother was right. Because telling Tyanna that he loved her wouldn’t be about controlling her or keeping her around. It would be because that’s what he felt in his heart.

He would never try to control her. If she wanted to move to Los Angeles to pursue her dream, he wouldn’t stand in her way—no matter how much he would miss her. The way he felt about her, he wanted her around always—but he also wanted what would make her happy.

If that didn’t include him…

The thought made him sad, even as the realization hit him that this was what love was all about. For so long, he hadn’t been sure what love was. But now he knew that love was wanting what was best for the other person, no matter what you wanted for yourself.

“You’re nothing like your old man,” he said, smiling at the words. “Nothing like him at all.’’

Sheldon saw the plume of smoke long before he turned the corner onto his street. But when he realized that the fire was burning at the end of the crescent, where his mother’s house was, his pulse started to race.

Fire trucks lined the street and firefighters were out en masse, hoses spewing water at the fire.

As he drove closer, a uniformed officer ran
toward his car, arms waving, imploring him to stop.

Sheldon did, then wound down his window.

“You can’t go any farther,” the cop told him.

“But I live on this street.’’

“Sorry. You’re gonna have to park around the corner until the fire’s out and the firefighters are gone.’’

Sheldon heard the man, but he wasn’t paying much attention. He was looking beyond all the commotion to the heart of the flames. His eyes narrowed on the house that was a blazing inferno.

And his heart nearly split in two.

He jammed the car into park, jumped out of the car and started to run. He heard, “Sir!” behind him, but he didn’t stop.

By the time he’d forced himself through the crowd of neighborhood residents to the front of his mother’s house, he felt arms around him, trying to hold him back. He struggled to get free.

“Sir, you can’t go in there.’’

“My mother,” Sheldon rasped.

He pulled an arm free and tried to lunge forward, but the arms around him tightened their grasp on him.

“Sir, there is no way you can go into that house!’’

“My mother. Do you know if she’s in there?” he practically shouted. There was no reason she shouldn’t be.

Someone grabbed him from behind and jerked
him around. A pair of blue eyes pierced his. “We can’t let you go in there. You go in there, you die.’’

The words were like a stab in the heart. “But my mother…”

“Sir, we’re doing the best we can. I know it’s hard, but I must ask you to remain with these officers while I find out who they might have brought out.’’

“Alive?” He wailed, tears running down his face. Two pairs of arms held him back while he struggled in anguish.

The blue eyes shifted uneasily. And Sheldon knew. Oh God, he knew.

“Ma!” He tried again to free himself, but the officers continued to grip his upper body in an unbreakable grasp.

Sheldon wrenched his head around to see over his shoulder, taking in the devastating view of the raging flames. If his mother was in there…

Overwhelmed, Sheldon leaned against the blue-eyed man’s shoulder and began to sob.

It seemed his heart didn’t beat at all as he sat and watched the firefighters battle the blaze. Merely an hour later, his mother’s house was completely destroyed.

But he didn’t care about that. Well, he cared, but that’s not what mattered most. Material things, for the most part, could be replaced. But he could never replace his mother.

No one had seen her, and Sheldon was doing
everything in his power to remain hopeful. Until the last ember died and a thorough search of the house had been done, he wasn’t going anywhere.

Neighbors crowded the streets, everyone watching the action. Mrs. Lundy, their neighbor to the right, had offered him solace in her home, but Sheldon had declined. The only place he wanted to be was directly across the street, observing everything.

Feeling a gentle hand on his shoulder, Sheldon looked up. It was Brenda, another neighbor. “Any word?” she asked.

Speech was too much to manage right now, considering the lump of fear lodged in his throat, so Sheldon shook his head.

“Can I get you anything?”

Again, he shook his head. Then he turned his gaze back to the house.

He heard soft footfalls and knew Brenda was walking away. It’s not that he meant to be rude, but he wanted to be alone with his thoughts right now.

If his mother was dead…

An official investigation of the fire would follow, but Sheldon didn’t need to hear any report to tell him this was arson.

His mother was careful. She never left a kettle on a hot stove, never left a candle burning too long. There was no way anything she did had caused this fire.

Someone had torched the house.

The same person who had attacked Tyanna in the parking lot of Jaguar Fitness. The same person who had called his mother’s house leaving a warning for him.

Right now, Sheldon wanted to shoot himself. He never should have come back to town. By doing so, he had done the very thing he had never wanted to do: put those he loved at risk.

He had been sure that the threat to his life had died with Dino, but that had been a grave error in judgment. He had failed to consider the network of Dino’s associates, people who still held a grudge even though Dino had been killed.

And on the drive from Tyanna’s he had convinced himself that he was nothing like his father, but he was wrong. He’d come back to town for his mother and for Tyanna—selfishly. If he truly cared about their safety, he would have stayed away. Doing so would deny himself his heart’s desire, but at least his mother and Tyanna would be safe.

That was the most important thing.

Sheldon’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car skidding to a stop. He jerked his head up to see the passenger door of a Ford Focus fly open.

His mother emerged, running toward the house.

Sheldon’s heart actually soared in that moment, a feeling of relief so sweet it made him feel he could actually fly.

In a flash he was on his feet, charging across the street to his mother. “Ma! Ma!’’

She whipped her head in his direction, and he saw on her face the same expression of horror he knew he’d worn the moment he had realized it was their house on fire.

He ran to her and swept her into his arms. “Oh, Ma. I was so worried about you!’’

“Sheldon, what in God’s name—?’’

“I don’t know. I came home and found the house on fire. No one could tell me if you were in there….” He gripped her tighter. “God, I was so scared….”

His mother pulled back and looked up at him. “I was at a church meeting. You weren’t in there when this started?’’

“No.”

“Oh, thank the Lord.” She glanced at the house, then back at him. Her face crumbled. “My house. Sheldon, it’s gone. Everything…”

“I know.” Sheldon ran a hand over her hair. “I know, Ma. And it’s not going to be easy to rebuild. But at least we still have each other. At the end of the day, that’s all that matters.’’

She didn’t respond, simply hugged him tighter and began to cry.

“How did this happen?” she sobbed. “Why?’’

“I don’t know, Ma.” He couldn’t tell her what he suspected, that the fire had been meant for him. Whichever of Dino’s goon friends had set it, they didn’t care who they hurt. They were simply out for blood—anyone’s blood.

“But don’t you worry about that now,” he went on. “Let the firemen do their work, investigate the cause of the fire. Then we’ll worry about it. For now, we have to decide where we want to go. Mrs. Lundy has offered to take us in.’’

His mother nodded, but she had a distant look in her eyes.

Sheldon turned her in his arms, leading her slowly toward their neighbor’s place. “Come on, Ma. Let’s go inside and have a seat.’’

Hours later, Sheldon was hunched in a phone booth, listening to the ringing on the other end of the line. After what seemed like forever, someone picked up at Jaguar Fitness.

“Tyanna Calhoun, please.’’

“I believe she’s with a client right now.’’

“Tell her it’s urgent.’’

“Who’s calling?’’

“This is her boyfriend, Sheldon Ford.’’

Her boyfriend
…The words had come naturally, rolling off his tongue. And they suddenly made it all the more difficult to give her the news.

If he told her about the fire, she would freak. She would worry about him, and she didn’t need that right now. Not when she was excited about her fitness video and the prospects that lay ahead.

Damn. How could he tell her about the fire? He knew what she would say, that he wasn’t trusting her with what was going on in his life, but this wasn’t about trust. This was about protecting her.

“Sheldon?”

Her soft voice startled him. He could hear a smile in her tone, and his heart cracked. “Hi,” he said.

“What is it?” she asked, picking up on his mood. “What’s wrong?’’

“Um…nothing.’’

“Sheldon…”

“Ever since I left your place, I’ve been thinking,” he managed to croak.

“About me?” she asked happily.

“Yeah, you could say that.” He paused. “I was thinking about the fitness video and your plan to move to Los Angeles.’’

“I didn’t say I
was
moving.’’

“But you said you wanted to. The business is better there.’’

“That’s a while off,” Tyanna told him. “And who knows what Wendy and I will do?’’

“Well, I think you should go.’’

There was a pause. “You mean, move there?’’

“Yeah. This is your dream. And I don’t want to stand in your way. Not that I would, considering you told me you didn’t see a future for us anyway.’’

“Hold up, Sheldon. What on earth are you talking about?’’

“Your future.’’

“Just ten hours or so ago, you mentioned wanting a future with me.’’

“I was premature in saying that.’’

The silence nearly tore him up. He knew
Tyanna was confused and hurting, but this was the best thing. He had no other choice if he wanted to keep her safe. And who knew how long this threat to his life would exist, or if he’d escape alive this time? It wasn’t fair to plan a future with her. Not under these circumstances. And as far as he was concerned, Los Angeles was one of the safest places she could be right now.

“What’s going on, Sheldon? The truth.’’

“I already told you.’’

“I think you’ve told me a load of bull.’’

“All I want is for you to go for your dream one hundred and fifty percent. And if that means heading to L.A. to deliver the video to Ronnie Vaughn personally, that’s what you should do.’’

“What aren’t you telling me?” Her voice was softer now, tinged with sadness.

“I’m gonna be busy getting my career started up. You’re gonna be busy with yours. And I think…that’s just the way it has to be.’’

Before Tyanna could say another word, Sheldon hung up. Some would call it the coward’s way out, but the way he figured it, he didn’t have a choice.

He hadn’t protected Dwight, and now his brother was dead. Today he’d come damn close to losing his mother. He wasn’t going to sit around and watch as someone else he loved was hurt.

With any luck, he could see this situation resolved once and for all. But in the meantime,
Tyanna would be upset with him for pushing her away. This was for her own good—but she didn’t understand and never would. He held no illusions that when this was resolved, he could ask her to take him back again without getting a slap in the face.

Sheldon gritted his teeth as he stepped out of the phone booth. Knowing what he had to do didn’t make the situation any easier. Pushing Tyanna away hurt him more than it had the first time. It hurt enough that he felt he was losing a piece of himself.

But he’d be damned if he put his wants and needs before what was best for her. He wasn’t going to be like his father.

He was going to protect Tyanna and his mother, no matter the cost.

For the rest of her evening at work, Tyanna did her best to fight her foul mood. Many times, she found herself on the verge of tears, but she’d be damned if she let them fall.

She had no clue what was going on, but she didn’t believe a word Sheldon had said to her about giving her space to pursue her career. That was a load of hogwash if she ever heard it, but that knowledge didn’t make things any easier.

Something was going on. But what?

As she sat at her desk picking at a fruit salad, she realized that it didn’t matter. What mattered
was that she had asked Sheldon—practically begged him—not to shut her out, no matter how bad any given situation might be. She thought she’d gotten through to him, but clearly she hadn’t.

Even now, he still didn’t trust her. And if he didn’t trust her, they could never have a future, regardless of how much she loved him.

And to think that just today, she had thought that he had been on the verge of telling her that he loved her.
What a freakin’ joke.
Whatever his issues were, she just hadn’t been able to crack the shell around his heart.