Tell Me Something (The "Something" Series Book 1) (37 page)

“You have to marry me, Haylee,” Josh whispered in the quiet. It was Thursday night, and we’d just enjoyed Thanksgiving day with his mother and brother in Josh’s childhood home in Virginia.

“I’m not out of my first trimester yet, Josh,” I replied.

“Are you having second thoughts about us? About me? I know I’m not easy to be with, but I love you so much it hurts.”

I rose up and looked into his eyes. My strong, powerful man still had his own insecurities he was working through. And I was responsible for some of them. “Do you know why I love you, Josh?”

Shaking his head, he looked apprehensive. I realized he really didn’t know.

“I admired your fairness when you made sure I got paid for my first modeling shoot. You made me feel beautiful when I kept catching your eyes on me that day. It still gives me a rush when your eyes watch me across a room or walk towards you.”

Caressing my back, he kissed me sweetly.

“I loved that you wanted to get In-N-Out burger with me on our first unofficial date.”

“Jesus, if you think that was our first date, I think I’m the worst boyfriend ever,” he admonished.

Giggling, I continued, “Well, I thought it was wonderful, but I digress. I love when you called Mark in the middle of the night because you couldn’t wait another minute to touch me. I love that you gave up smoking for me. I love that you agreed to do couples counseling and that you trust me.” I took his hand and kissed his palm. “You make me feel important and that I matter.”

He let out a breath. “You are so fucking important, Haylee, that I don’t even have the words to express it. The best feeling in the world is knowing that you mean something to someone. You need to know how much you mean to me. And for all the reasons you love me for, I love you for so many more. In my whole life, I’ve never met anyone like you, and think I knew it from the moment I met you. I couldn’t figure out why I was drawn to you. Why every time our eyes met, I felt a jolt, almost like I was destined to be with you. God knows you deserve better, but I’m a selfish man when it comes to you, baby.”

“You’re not selfish, Josh. We’ve come so far in the last couple of weeks. Just let me get through this first trimester before we start talking about the future. And before you think I’m putting you off, just know that I feel like I can breathe again. I can finally say I
need
you without it feeling like a character flaw.”

He ran his hand down my hips and over my stomach. “I need you too, Haylee.”

***

The weeks leading up to Christmas went by quickly. Feeling less nauseous by the day and more energetic, I was already gaining back some of the weight I’d lost and feeling healthier.

Josh hadn’t brought up marriage again, which I assumed was because he was waiting on the second trimester and agreed we needed some assurances of the baby’s health before taking that next step.

Dr. Mac had told me that it was natural to have the first trimester be a milestone at which many expectant parents felt relief, but with my additional concerns, it was especially pivotal for me. He’d challenged me to think about how I was going to feel once I was past the thirteen weeks, though. Would I find another reason or obstacle to keep me from believing in the future as a family? Or could I do away with my tendency to put limitations on things as a habit of protecting myself?

While walking back from class on a Friday afternoon just ten days before Christmas, I sent Josh a text to find out which train he was going to be on as I expected him that evening. When I stepped into my apartment, I was at a loss for words. The entire living room was covered in roses and candles. There were rose petals on the ground, with dozens of them in pink, white, and red on every surface. Small tea lights gave a glow and soft music played in the background. I put my backpack down at the door and simply stared.

“Josh?” I called out.

He came out of my bedroom dressed in a tuxedo.

My heart pounded at the sight of him. “What’s going on?”

Smiling, he took my hand, and led me into the center of the room. Then to my absolute amazement, he dropped to one knee. “Haylee Lynn Holloway, I’m an ass for not realizing sooner that I didn’t do this properly. I was so caught up in what we needed to get done before the baby came that I neglected to actually propose to you. This shouldn’t be an item on a to-do list. You are the most important thing in my life, and I don’t want to spend one day without you in it. I love you, I trust you, and although I know I will continue to need to ask for your forgiveness down the road when I screw things up, you make it easy to admit when I’m sorry. Will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

“But the first tri—” I started to protest, only to have him cut me off.

“I don’t give a God damn about the first trimester.” He stopped and winced. “God, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I would be devastated if you miscarried, but I still want to marry you, Haylee. Our future happiness isn’t only dependent on the first thirteen weeks because no matter what happens, we’re in this together. And it’s okay for you to be frightened about what’s to come. I’m scared, too. We’ll still go see Dr. Mac, and we’ll work through things as they come, but I want to do it together.”

He took my hand and I could feel his shaking. With his other hand, he reached inside his jacket pocket and brought out a box.

When he opened it, I gasped. It was the same stunning vintage diamond engagement ring from the Cosmo shoot.

“I want to see you in your mother’s dress standing across from me saying your vows, and I want this ring on your finger.”

I was speechless.

In a moment of clarity, I realized the lengths Josh had gone to in order to show his love and commitment to me. Whether it was one day, one year or a lifetime, I knew I needed to grab onto happiness with both hands. There would never be guarantees in life, but for the first time, my hope for the future outweighed my fear of having it taken away. “Yes,” I whispered.

“Yes?” he confirmed in a choked-up voice. If ever I questioned his love for me, watching my powerful man with moisture in his eyes when I accepted his marriage proposal sealed the deal.

“Absolutely, yes.” The tears of happiness streamed down my face.

“Thank God.” And just like that, he was raining kisses over my face and then on my mouth. He slipped the ring on my finger and gave me a beaming smile.

I could only look at it with awe. “It’s gorgeous, Josh.”

“It needs to be because so are you, my love.”

“This is amazing.” I gazed around the room and breathed in the scent of the roses.

“I wanted it all to be perfect.”

“You are perfection, especially in that tux.”

“You’re getting that look on your face.” He had a knowing smile.

Ah, the infamous fuck-me-look.
“Mm, the apartment won’t burn down if we leave the candles lit for a while longer, will it?”

“No, they’re small tea lights. Mark actually helped me.”

The picture of the two of them setting up this romantic scene made me laugh. Maybe there were advantages to having Josh own the building.

I made short work of ridding him of clothes and found he was equally as frantic to shed me of mine. Pure happiness overwhelmed me when he lowered me to the floor of rose petals. “This is wildly romantic,” I remarked, savoring the feel of his hands on my sensitive breasts.

“I’m glad you think so because I can’t even wait the time it would take to get you into the bedroom. Your breasts are getting heavier. Are they more responsive, I wonder?”

Jesus, I about came as his mouth feasted on one.

“I’d say so,” he observed, switching to the other one.

Moaning, I arched towards him and felt his hand make its way to my tender folds.

“Ah, you’re more sensitive everywhere, aren’t you?”

“God, I think so. I’ve been really hot thinking about you all week. I think the second trimester is coming on.”

“I think I feel more than that coming,” he murmured, sucking hard on my nipple and bringing me quickly to climax with his magic fingers on my clit.

“Holy crap, I think the orgasms are even better.” Feeling his lips trail kisses up my neck, I gasped again in pleasure.

He ravaged my mouth, plundering it with his tongue and tugging on my bottom lip with his teeth. “I love kissing your sweet mouth,” he mused, parting my legs and easing inside of me slowly as we both savored the feeling. “You’ll tell me if I hurt you?”

“You won’t.” I was frustrated when he moved slowly and carefully. I didn’t want slow and gentle like it had been over the last couple of weeks while my stomach hadn’t been feeling up to par. Right now I was beyond turned on and needed for him to recognize it. Wrapping my legs tightly around him, I rocked my hips, thrusting up and forcing him deeper inside of me. “Fuck me, Josh.”

His shocked expression made me smile as did the lust that shaded his features.

“You never cease to surprise me, soon-to-be Mrs. Singer,” he chuckled.

Giggling, I clenched around his hard erection, enjoying his grunt of pleasure as I knew flexing made him lose control.

“Haylee,” he moaned. Gripping my ass, he lifted my hips up to meet his thrusts, taking me over the edge and following shortly after.

***

Our breathing finally returned to normal as we lay there in the romantic glow of the room with my head on his sculpted chest and our legs wrapped in each other. “Tell me your answer again,” he asked, kissing my temple.

“Yes, I will marry you, Joshua Robert Singer.”

He leaned back and quirked a brow.

“Did you really think I was going to marry a man whose middle name I didn’t know?”

“Baby, I wouldn’t have cared so long as the answer was yes,” he laughed.

“It’s a yes.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, he nuzzled my neck. “We need to talk wedding plans. I know you have a whole binder and things planned out, but in the interest of time—”

Kissing his neck, I made up my mind. I was ready to make my own decisions about my future instead of thinking about what my parents would have wanted. “All I care about is that I get to wear my mother’s dress with my amazing shoes and stand across from you.”

Smiling, he hugged me tight. “Really? You don’t mind if I take over and we get married, say, New Year’s Eve?”

“That’s only a little over two weeks away, Josh.”

“Yes, it is, which means we need to get going on the logistics. First things first, where do you want to get married?”

“What do you think about that beach house in Tortola, if it’s available? We could maybe do tents outside? Or if house isn’t vacant, just anywhere on a beach.”

His face lit up, and I could tell he was pleased with the idea. Kissing me deeply, he glided his fingertips down the side of my face. He stood up, looking around for his pants and then grinned down at me, holding out his hand. “I love that idea. I will see if it’s open, and we can start on the guest list. I know it’s short notice, but considering it’ll be one hell of a New Year’s Eve party, hopefully most people can come last minute. It’ll only be a small group, anyhow. I’ll have Maria start on travel logistics, and I should have a list of questions for you by morning. For now, let me start calling people so that they have a chance to change their plans.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “You truly don’t mind planning the wedding?”

He helped me up and hugged me tightly. “As long as you don’t feel like you’re settling. As much as I want you to be my wife as soon as possible, I don’t want you to be disappointed. If you desire the grand wedding that you and your mom intended, we could do it after the baby comes. It would give us a year to plan.”

I thought a moment before replying. “We can talk to Dr. Mac about it tonight during our session, but I planned my wedding before I was in love and before I knew what mattered most. My mom would understand that a wedding of my dreams is only the one with the man of my dreams. I need to do what feels right to me.”

His eyes closed, savoring my words. “God, I love you. Now come on, get dressed before I take you to Vegas because I’m too distracted to plan anything.”

I giggled. “Tell me something, Josh.”

He put his hands on both sides of my face looking serious. “You’re my second chance at happiness, Haylee. One I never thought I’d deserve but that I will never take for granted.” He kissed me sweetly. “Tell me something, Haylee.”

My smile was just one indication of how happy he made me. “I’m still scared, Josh. But now I realize what terrifies me the most is imagining a future without you. Everything else we can face together.”

As I watched my gorgeous bride come down the aisle, I fought the overwhelming emotion that clogged my vision. Haylee looked exquisite in her mother’s wedding dress. Absolutely the epitome of beautiful, inside and out. I was the luckiest man on the planet. I couldn’t take my eyes off her and shared her small smile as her father’s former business partner gave her away. She had insisted on keeping it simple, without a bridal party, for which I was relieved.

We were surrounded by our friends and family in Tortola. All the family. Yes, the best had been Haylee’s reaction to her relatives making the trek from Australia.

We had told everyone about the baby individually over the last week since we were officially out of the first trimester. All of the tests had revealed a normal pregnancy. Although there was still some anxiety over this little life I’d be responsible for, I was ecstatic to become a father.

Haylee loved me in a way that I’d never felt before. She wanted me for who I was instead of anything I could give her. She’d taught me what it was to love unconditionally, and, although we were still working on our trust issues with Dr. Mac, I felt confident that we’d conquered the biggest hurdles.

After the ceremony and during dinner, I pressed a kiss to her cheek and stood with the microphone so that everyone could see me. Most of the faces were the same we’d seen at her going-away party last July but now included family, and I felt a sense of déjà vu. The only difference with this party was that I’d put a ring on Haylee’s finger, and she wasn’t going anywhere. We were in this life together.

“I’d like to say a few words to my lovely bride.” I waited as the chatter died down. “To know you, Haylee, is to love you, and I will spend the rest of my days showing you how very much I do. You are my rock, and I have every intention of being yours, forever and always. I will adore you until my last breath.”

She gave me a watery smile and stood, hugging me tightly.

Taking a moment, I kissed her sweet lips. “Now then, I would like to share a first dance with my bride.” I smiled at her shocked expression. My friends had much the same look on their faces. I was not a man who danced. Not at a prom, not at a club, and not with my first wife. Not ever. But for Haylee, well, I’d do a naked jig on the table if it meant she’d look at me the way she was right now.

The music started, and I watched the recognition on her face as the song, “Thinking Out Loud,” by Ed Sheeran started.

“How did you know?” she whispered.

Taking her out on the dance floor, I answered, “I took a peek at the wedding binder you made with your mom. Matter of fact, if you look at the wedding centerpieces and the cake, they’re also from that binder.” Every detail was important for making this special for my wife.

She tipped her face towards mine and kissed me sweetly. “You’ve made this the very best day for us, from the song to this necklace.” She fingered the beautiful diamond piece around her neck.

I’d had it delivered to her as her wedding gift while she’d gotten ready earlier. It wasn’t the same one from the model shoot, but Catherine had helped me pick it out as something unique for today.

“I plan on seeing you in nothing but that later tonight.” I could picture it already and needed to stop before I became hard on the dance floor.

“I like that idea. And maybe after everyone leaves the day after tomorrow, we can enjoy the steam shower.”

God, the way she looked at me, like she could never get enough, was a powerful thing. “I love you.” Even though we were on the dance floor, I felt like it was only the two of us.

“I love you, too. So tell me something, Mr. Singer.”

Smiling, I knew this game would never get old with her. “Hmm, something you don’t know. Let’s see. Do you think we’ll ever run out of things we don’t know about each other?”

“I certainly hope not. I like this game,” she smiled.

“All right, I will tell you something. How about the fact that I bought this house?”

She about stumbled over my feet. “What?”

“It holds special memories of our first trip here, not to mention now our wedding day. And of course, there is that steam shower.”

Tears were swimming in her eyes, and I felt the punch in the gut with her smile purely for me.

“I think you’ve given me the world, Josh.”

“Tell me something, Mrs. Singer.” God, I loved the sound of that and the fact she had wanted to change her name to mine. It was possessive as hell, but having her take my name made me feel good about soon becoming the Singer Family of three.

“Oh, I’ll tell you something. Come here.”

I bent down so that she could whisper in my ear.

“We’re having a girl.”

I was stunned. “Wait. What?”

“Did you not hear me?” she asked, clearly amused.

Repeating her, I whispered, “We’re having a girl? You found out with the blood test?”

“I knew you wanted to know, and I figured I would surprise you with it. I mean, what do you get as a wedding gift for a man who has everything?”

Emotion pulled at my throat. Putting my arms around her, I lifted her up and twirled her around in celebration. Everyone must have liked that since they clapped, and it dawned on me that, in fact, everyone was still watching us. To hell with them, I thought, kissing her soundly. The room erupted and I loved the sound of her giggle.

“You already gave me you, which was the best gift. But this is pretty amazing, too. God, a girl. My mom is going to flip.” When the song ended, it was tempting to pick up my bride and carry her upstairs where it could be only the two of us.

“I know what you’re thinking, and we’re only a couple hours away from it. Then you have me for a lifetime. And maybe you should tell your mom about her granddaughter when you ask her for a dance,” she suggested, knowing how much it would mean to my mother.

“I’ll go ask her for a dance because for you I’m always hard pressed to say no.”

She laughed. “You’re going to have a daddy’s little girl soon enough, so you’d best get used to that.”

I grinned. “I look forward to spoiling you both.”