Tell Me Something (The "Something" Series Book 1) (31 page)

He hung up and looked at me in concern. “Still sore?”

“A little, but sometimes I kind of get hot with the reminder of why.” I hadn’t meant to say that last part out loud and paused at the carnal look he gave me.

His eyes closed and he took a deep breath. “You do realize I have a raging hard-on right now and have another meeting in twelve minutes.”

Before he could open his eyes and figure out what I was up to, I hurried to his side of the desk and dropped to my knees in front of him. Freeing his cock from his suit, I saw he hadn’t exaggerated about being hard. This was one of my fantasies.

He muttered an oath and then hit some sort of switch that locked the doors. “God dammit, Haylee.”

I glanced up and slid my tongue up his seam. “You want me to stop?”

His eyes were raging with emotion, and he seemingly was at war with himself, but he shook his head.

This was all the coaxing I needed to continue. I swirled my tongue around the tip before grabbing his erection around his base with both hands and taking it deep into the back of my throat. I worked him hard and fast, increasing the tempo, aware that we only had a limited amount of time. I was pleased when he came after only a few minutes. Licking up every last drop, I saw that his eyes were still watching me.

“You didn’t have to,” he voiced softly.

“I never feel like I do. I wanted to, as this was kind of a fantasy for me, with you at your desk looking good in your suit, and me sucking you off behind it.”

I watched a shudder run through him and let go so that he could get things, ah, put away. I smiled, satisfied with the fact that I had taken one Joshua Singer by surprise, and he wasn’t yet recovered.

***

“So, you have two more schools to eliminate, and I have an email from Mark to show you,” Josh said as we enjoyed a barbeque dinner back at his house that evening.

He brought over his laptop, and I read out loud the email about the possible housing for Yale. “Building is being refurbished, and I may need to move apartments at some point, but the one-bedroom looks more than reasonable regarding price,” I remarked.

I went and got my laptop in order to update my spreadsheet. “All right, I will eliminate Columbia: housing is way too pricey for me to remain in New York.” I couldn’t gauge what he was thinking but I’d be damned if I made my decision regarding law school about him. “And as much as I loved Stanford for undergrad, I want something new. Now I’m down to Harvard and Yale.”

“Well, there you have it. And then there were two.”

“Actually, I already know my decision. I mean there is no contest on the housing prices. Yale it is.”

“Congratulations.” He crossed and leaned down to kiss me softly.

I emailed Mark to confirm the housing situation and my lease start date of August first. This would allow me enough time to get things moved in before starting classes at the end of that month. I just had to send in my commitment letter and I’d be starting my new life in no time. It wasn’t lost on me that instead of the excitement over starting a new chapter I felt sad I was going to leave the old one behind.

The next three months were a blur between trips all over the world. Josh and I spent nearly every night together, and it was getting harder to imagine not doing so. We didn’t discuss me leaving, but I knew it weighed on both of our minds. When we arrived back home in New York on a Wednesday mid-June, I knew it was time for me to give notice at work.

I was at my desk, and I had just typed up my official letter. I wondered how Josh was going to react and kept telling myself it didn’t matter.

Pulling myself from my thoughts, I glanced at Nigel and saw he was looking pale. He’d been fighting an illness all week. “Nigel, why don’t you go home? I can tell you’re not feeling well.”

“I may take you up on that. It’s only a cold, but with David’s last treatment three days ago and him being so weak, I want to be sure he doesn’t catch anything.”

“I completely understand, and I have this tomorrow, too, okay?”

“All right, my dear. I might have to take you up on that.”

“Get some rest, Nigel,” I said, watching him go and hoping he felt better soon.

Josh was currently on a conference call and didn’t look to have anything scheduled immediately after. I emailed a meeting request that was simply labeled ‘discussion’ and waited for his confirmation.

He accepted and then came out to the outer office during our appointed time looking amused. “Everything all right?”

Fighting my nerves, I stood up and grabbed my letter of resignation. “Yes, fine. I just need a few minutes with you. Nigel left early as he was feeling sick.”

“He sent me an email. I hope he can get some rest. Did you want to come into my office?”

“Uh, yes. Okay.” I swallowed hard, following him in and closing his door.

He took a seat on the edge of his desk, looking casual as he studied me. “You look nervous.”

“I probably shouldn’t have made this so formal. I mean we both knew it was coming, but I know for HR I need a date. Here.” I handed him my typed of letter of resignation detailing that my last day would be the twelfth of July, one month away.

He read it as he walked around to his chair and took a seat. “If you can email a copy to HR and CC me, they can get the ball moving,” he said thickly.

“Right, okay.” I didn’t know what I’d been expecting, but this wasn’t it. I bit my lip, trying to fight my tears, not knowing why I wasn’t relieved that he was processing this like any boss would.

“Was that all you wanted to discuss?” he asked, looking at me.

I shuffled on my feet. “Uh, well I’m planning on going to Australia after my last day and would vacate your apartment when I get back. I should be completely moved out by August first.”

“That’s fine, take your time. Do you need help with the move? Are you going to ship out some more things from California?”

We were being very civilized about this, but instead of feeling pleased, I felt sad. “I’m going to stop off on my way to Australia to find out what I want to ship out. I’d like to bring out some items to furnish my apartment. Not the antique stuff, but the couch, bed, et cetera.” God, I was rambling on with details that he wouldn’t care about.

“I will pay for the move.”

I waved him off. “No, I mean you’ve been generous enough and—”

“It wasn’t a question,” he interjected, agitation flashing in his eyes.

“Okay.” I blew out a breath and opted not to fight about this. “Thank you.”

“So that’s it?”

I couldn’t help but feel like that was a loaded question. One which I was going to avoid. “Yeah, unless you can think of anything else.”

“Nope, I mean you seem to have everything all set. You know if you wanted to give notice sooner, you can. You don’t have to give a whole month.”

“I, um—Did you want me to leave sooner?” Now it was my turn with the loaded question.

“I was only suggesting doing so if it’s easier for you. I know you’re anxious to get onto your new life.” His voice betrayed some emotion.

I softened. “Josh, this isn’t easy for me.”

He stood up and walked over to his window, refusing to meet my eyes. “Really? Because it sure seems like it is.”

I wrestled with what to say. “We both knew this day was going to come.” I fought the tears, not knowing how he was feeling. I didn’t even have a finger on the pulse of my own emotions.

“You’re right. Uh, if that’s it, I’ll let you email HR. I need to make a few phone calls before heading out to my next appointment.”

He shifted back into work mode and realized the best way to avoid breaking down was to do the same. “Of course. I’ll leave you to it.”

By the time I’d scanned my letter and made it to my desk, the tears were coming down. I knew I was doing the right thing. If it hurt like hell now, it would only devastate me in the future. Especially if I counted on him to always be part of that future.

“Haylee, I—”

I jumped at the sound of Josh’s voice and realized he had opened his door and was staring at me. I held up a hand as he moved towards me. “Don’t make it harder,” I whispered, meeting his eyes.

“I don’t think that’s possible,” he replied quietly, pulling me up from my chair and enveloping me in a hug.

He stroked my hair, and we stood like for a few minutes until I could get a handle on my emotions.

“What if I take a look at the train schedule? I mean I could take my plane up to see you, too, but Mark has always said the train is faster. We could do every other weekend. Maybe you could come to New York sometimes, too. I know you need to study, but you’d have breaks and—”

I pulled back, completely shocked. “What are you saying?” My heart was beating double-time and I felt the panic before he even said it.

“I’m saying I’m not ready to end things, Haylee. I mean, I could give you a hundred reasons why you don’t need law school, but I know you’re set on it. The bottom line is New Haven isn’t that far away.”

“But we put it out there from the beginning that this was short term. We want different things, Josh.” As much as ending things hurt, prolonging the inevitable would be worse.

He looked frustrated. “Tell me, then. If you’re so sad at the thought of it ending, why don’t you want to continue?”

I swallowed hard, feeling like I was being put on the spot. “Josh, we’ve never even been out on an actual date. You don’t want people to know about us and you’ve never let me meet your family. Colby was the exception because he found out, but you don’t always share what is going on in your life. Not to mention there’s the dating other people thing. And I’ve accepted all of that, even when it hasn’t been easy, given that our relationship was only temporary.”

He sighed. “For the record, I haven’t gone out with anyone since New Year’s Eve. But I think I get what you’re saying.”

“You do?” I asked carefully.

“Yeah, I think so. You want more than just an extension of our time together.”

I sighed in relief that maybe he did get it. “And I fully understand that you aren’t in a place where you can do that, Josh. I’ve never tried to change you. I respect the fact that we both want different things long term.”

He simply looked at me as I rushed on.

“And I really would like to enjoy our last month together. Maybe we could go somewhere for a weekend?” I suggested. A last few precious days with him would give me a chance to gather as many memories as possible.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He looked torn as the phone rang.

I picked up the call, gave a greeting and then put it on hold. “It’s Mark for you.”

“Okay, I’ll, um, see you later tonight, all right?”

I nodded, feeling relief that we were back to the original plan. Emotionally I could prepare for the end if I knew when that would be.

***

On a Friday afternoon a week after giving notice, I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers in the office. Josh was in a meeting across town, and Nigel had the day off. Smiling, I read the card and felt my heart flutter.

“Please join me this evening for the Opera. I will pick you up at your place at 7pm. –J”

He was asking me out on a date. I hugged the card to me and took a deep breath. The last week had been a little awkward, but he’d still climbed in bed with me each evening. We were enjoying the time we had left, and this was an indication he wanted to make the best of it. I may not believe in long term happiness, but I loved the moments in time where it was easy to forget that.

I dressed in my black Givenchy gown as it was made for a night at the Opera. After touching up my makeup and hair, I was ready by seven o’clock. My pulse leaped with the sound of the knock.

I opened my door to see Josh standing there in a full tuxedo. The effect was panties-dropping-worthy for sure. “You look really good.”

He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, I could see the flash of desire. “That damn
fuck-me look
you have, Haylee, is going to be the death of me.”

I couldn’t help but grin. “It’s really your fault for filling out a tux the way you do.”

“Well, you are ravishing, and I’m really glad you wore that dress. I especially like the slit,” he commented, bending down and parting it to reveal my full leg and garters. He hissed through his teeth. “I knew doing that would be a mistake. Come on, let’s go before I blow this date as it’s just getting started.”

I grabbed my clutch and took his offered arm down to the waiting car. Instead of grabbing my pinky in the backseat, he moved me close and put his arm around me.

As far as dates went, I was already sure this was the best one I’d been on.

The opera was beautiful, and Josh’s seats, of course, were the best in the house. Afterwards, the car took us a few blocks away to a restaurant, a swanky place that seemed to be humming on a Friday night. It was evident he was pulling out all of the stops when we were escorted to a private table in the back.

Once we were seated, Josh took my hand over the small intimate table for two. “I’m not hiding you. I just wanted privacy for us,” he explained.

“I understand either way.”

He frowned and appeared to want to say more, but we were interrupted by the waitress.

She took our orders and poured the bottle of wine.

He toasted and looked at me thoughtfully. “To new beginnings.”

I smiled, clinking my glass with his. “New beginnings.”

“I should have done this sooner with you, Haylee.”

Biting my lip, I searched for the right words. “I think it means more anyhow; that you would do this for me before I leave. Thank you.”

His eyes flashed something, and then it was gone. We enjoyed a lovely meal and some more wine before making our way back to the apartment.

“I’d like to take that dress off of you myself, if you don’t mind,” he said quietly.

We had just come off the elevator to our floor, and I had thought I’d go change before going over to his place.

“Okay,” I agreed, feeling the heady combination from the romantic evening and the wine.

He took my hand and led me into his apartment, closing the door behind me. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispered, raking his eyes over me from head to toe.

“You make me feel that way,” I replied.

He peeled my dress off slowly with kisses along the way.

Finally, I stood naked in the middle of his living room trembling with desire. “You’re overdressed,” I admonished.

He grinned. “We’re going to play a game.”

“Just so long as that game includes you touching me soon.” I stepped into him, cupping his arousal through his pants and enjoying the look on his face as I did so.

“Oh, it does. Come on.” He swept me up into his arms and carried me to his bed. Setting me down gently, he walked into his closet. Reappearing with a silk robe tie, he smiled at me. “We are going to play around-the-world and revisit our trips together. Let’s start with Cancun, the first time, where I believe you were tied up.”

I nodded, licking my lips. “Do we have to go in order, or could we skip around?”

He crossed over to me as I held out my wrists. “What did you have in mind?” He secured my hands together and then loosened his bow tie.

I was filled with anticipation from the bed as he stood just to the side, kicking off his shoes. “I’d like to do Cancun and then maybe Charlotte.”

His eyes flashed with recognition of our venture there, and a shudder ran through him. “Tell me what you said in Vegas that first night, Haylee. I need to hear it again.”

My breath left me in a whoosh, and I searched his eyes. He was finally ready to hear it again in our final weeks together. “I love you, Josh.”

He closed his eyes as if soaking up my words. When he opened them, he crossed over and cupped my face with both hands. “I love you too, Haylee.”

And then, suddenly, his breath was at my cleft. “Jesus, Josh—” I’d hardly had a chance to absorb his words. My mind bounced between relieved that he felt the same as I did, to sad that it would just make it harder to leave in a couple of weeks. Part of me wondered if my looming departure made it easier for Josh to be honest with his feelings. Almost like he had nothing to lose in telling me now. As I felt my orgasm build all thoughts were replaced with a burning need to just feel him.