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Authors: Barbara S. Stewart

BOOK: Tate
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She tugged at the shirt and I helped her, whipping it over my head and tossing it on the floor. She kissed my chest. I eased her back and slowly began undressing her, making sure to never lose eye contact. I didn’t want to break the spell.

“You are the strongest, most amazing woman I’ve ever met. Your trials are different than Mama’s. She had to learn late how to fend for herself, but you’ve been doing it your whole life. You had to…”

“Tate. Shut up.”

I looked at her closer, and the look in her eyes was like nothing I’d seen from her before. Desire. That’s what I saw. “Tell me what you want, Maisie. Tell me your desires, your fantasies, your…”

“I want
you
.” It was such a simple statement. The way she said it took me by surprise, but she wasn’t done. “I want to feel your love before you enter my body. I want you to want me like you’ve
never
wanted anything before. I want you to take me to the edge, and watch
you
fall more in love with
me
. Those are my desires. You are my fantasy.”

She ran her hands up my chest. The feel of her cool, delicate fingers touching me was incredible. I held my breath, waiting to see what she would do. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I lifted her off the floor into my arms. I gently placed her on the bed and moved beside her. Wrapping my arms around her, I rolled her to me so that her body rested on mine. Bringing her knees to my sides, she rose up and sat back so that she was looking down at me.

“Come back,” I said, reaching for her.

“No. Not yet. I want to look at you.” Her eyes smoldered with passion; or was it love so deep that the intensity and ardor burned like fire in them? I hoped it was all of that. I hoped that as she watched me she saw the same look in my eyes. Her fingers trailed soft touches here and there. I was about to explode.

I reached for her breasts; cupping them, I heard her pleasure. I saw her throw her head back and I sat up to kiss the neck that she offered me. Her hands tangled in my hair. We shared passionate kisses. Holding her like that, looking in her eyes, the connection between us was the most electrifying thing I’d ever experienced. Finally, lying back, I pulled her closer, wrapping my arms around her so that she rested on my chest.

“Maisie, you said you wanted to make me want you. You’ve done so much more than that. You own me. My body is yours. You said you wanted me to take you to the edge. We’re both there, I can feel it.” I rolled so that I was hovering above her.

She lifted her hips to welcome me. “Now, Tate.” Every movement she made brought me closer.

“Wait,” I said. “Look at me, Maisie.” When she looked in my eyes, my heart melted. She felt like a precious gift and I didn’t want to feel anything in the world but her.

“Do you feel those things you desire from us? Because I do. Do you feel my love? Do you know that I want you? I want you like nothing in my wildest dreams could have ever prepared me to feel.”

I saw the tears that threatened to slip from her eyes and kissed them away. “You said you wanted to feel all those things before I entered your body? Do you?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“I can’t fall any deeper in love with you, Maisie. I’m full of you. Every thought, every dream, every fantasy I have – you are there. I love you.”

“Make love to me.” She arched to meet me, to finally allow our bodies to become one. It became sensual, and I realized for the first time that she really was carefree. She was savoring, enjoying, and letting me know by her moans. Every movement made it harder for me not to just go crazy.

“I can’t hold back,” I whispered in her ear. With one more move, it became a frantic pace.

Finally satiated, I wrapped her in my arms, rolling so that Maisie rested on my chest.

“Oh my God, Tate,” she said in quick pants.

“Maisie,” I said. I pushed her damp hair back to see her beautiful face. I looked in her eyes, and then leaned forward to kiss her. Her kiss in return was different to me. We hadn’t shared
this
kiss before. It was warm. It was intense. It was exciting. It was love. We lay there a moment longer, just tangled in each other’s arms.

“Don’t move,” she whispered, when I started to roll away. She held me closer, tightening her body to hold me inside her. “I love the closeness of this. When I’ve said it before, I don’t know if I said it so that you really understand how deep the feeling is, Tate. I love you.”

“I told you, I have never felt anything like this, Maisie. I’ve never felt anything like you.”

The look on her face almost brought tears to my eyes. “You are my unique.”

“Good.”

She moved, and I could feel myself ready for her again. “You sure you want to be movin’ around like that?” I asked.

“Pretty sure,” she said with a devilish smile. But those eyes – the eyes of an angel – flashed back at me.

 

***

 

Fan Weekend would be about a gazillion meet and greets followed by performances - twelve hours of madness. Carlene would be in the space right beside mine. The Queen has pull.

In the corner of the tent, Maisie sat with her sketchpad drawing while the fans made their way around for pictures and autographs. I didn’t know for sure, but I assumed she was working on wedding dress sketches. At times, the line of fans stretched as far as I could see. It was crazy. Sometimes Maisie would step up to take a picture or two, but avoided attention as much as possible. When young women came up and made a big fuss, I’d introduce her as my fiancée. She’d snicker and animatedly flash the ring. I loved it.

“What have you been sketching?” I asked when there was a quiet moment. She opened the sketchpad and showed me my own image. “I don’t suppose it’d be appropriate for me to say that’s beautiful, because it’s me, but Maisie, this is awesome.

“I sketch what I see,” she replied. “If you think it’s awesome, then awesome was what I saw.”

 

We had about forty-five minutes before I was due to sing at seven on Stage Two. Carlene joined us as we grabbed smoked sausage sandwiches and started walking that way. When we got there, I peeked out to see standing room only. I was following Bryson Manning, a new up and comer. His crowd remained, but a bigger crowd of my fans began moving in. I was doing six songs, and when I took the stage they went wild.

“Y’all know I’m gonna start this party with a song for Maisie. I’ve been playing with this one for a while. It’s one of the first rock songs I ever wanted to play. It’s edgy and sexy, and I’m gonna give it a country vibe. Jake and Marty are gonna help me on this one. Hit it, Jake!
Need You Tonight
by INXS!”

 

“Come over here
,”
I whispered and tried to coax Maisie closer, but she wouldn’t do it, and I laughed.

 

All you got is this moment


The twenty-first century’s yesterday


You can care all you want


Everybody does yeah that's okay

So slide over here


And give me a moment


Your moves are so raw


I've got to let you know


I've got to let you know


You're one of my kind

I need you tonight


‘Cause I'm not sleeping


There's something about you girl


That makes me sweat…

 

I saw Maisie standing with Carlene. She was dancing, and then a cameraman spotted her. The next thing I knew, she was dancing on the Jumbotron. I pointed for her to see. She laughed, but retreated into the shadows. I ended my set with
I’m A Guy
and the crowd sang along.

We said goodnight to Carlene. Maisie reached for my hand and we walked to the stage where Macon Bentley would be playing next. After his set was over we visited with him for a few minutes. When we left him, I told Maisie I was ready to go, and we made our way to my truck. “It’s been a long day. You ready to head to the house?”

“Home,” she corrected me, squeezing my hand.

While I drove she talked about the fans. “Goodness, Tate, there were so many people who came by to meet you – young, old, men, and women. I loved when the little girls would go crazy over you. They already know a special man when they meet one. The older people were so appreciative. They thanked you for your time and your gift.”

“And the young women?” I taunted.

“Better keep their hands off my man.” She tried to say it without laughing, but had no success.

“You gonna kick some hussy’s ass?”

“I think I could,” she snorted.

“Why?”

“Because I’m your girl.”

“Yes, you are. Don’t lie,” I said, squeezing her knee. “You had fun.”

“Until you had me dancing on the big screen thing!” she giggled.

“I had nothing to do with that. At. All. But I liked it,” I confessed. “I’m gonna have to take you dancing.”

“I’d like that.”

“Would you? Where’d my little turtle go?” I asked playfully.

She appeared deep in thought for a moment, and then she turned toward me. “She still hides, but finds that it’s getting easier to be out with you every day, leaving my shy shell behind.”

“I want you to, Maisie. You are my greatest joy, and I want to take you where I go. I want you with me.”

“I’m trying.”

“You know, I’ve made an observation recently. You aren’t a turtle at all. Turtles are a hard-shelled animal, and you don’t have a hard shell,” I said. “And I’ve only seen you as an animal on a couple of occasions.”

It only took a second to sink in before she punched my arm. “Oh my goodness!”

I laughed and continued. “You’re a wallflower. You’ve really only lived from the inside looking out, seeing others, but sharing none of yourself. Finally, you’re beginning to live.”

“I’ve been that wallflower my entire life. It was easier. Hiding in my closet to read, sitting behind the sewing machine – all of that was easier than what the rest of my life held. Thinking back now, I even hid with Blake. I hadn’t learned yet how to be in his life, so I hid in his shadow. I was so young.”

“I believe that you’re shy, but you’ve been laying low, taking the rest of life in. I’m ready for you to step away from your wall and bloom.”

“What kind of flower, Tate?” she asked.

“Those delicate white carnations that I brought you - understated with a soft fragrance. White, because your heart is pure.”

“You’ve been thinking about that for a while,” she sighed.

“No, really, it just came to me,” I said, as my phone rang. I looked and answered it. “Hey, it’s Tate.”

“Can you meet me at my office?” Daniel Costas asked.

“It’s almost midnight…” I started.

“It’s important.”

“We’ll be right there.” I turned to Maisie. “Something’s up. Daniel wants us at his office.”

Maisie reached for my hand, and I felt hers tremble.

 

We entered the building and found Daniel waiting in the lobby. He didn’t look at me, his eyes resting on Maisie with a look of concern.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Someone broke into your house. The place is trashed…”

Before he finished, Maisie dropped to the floor in a crumpled heap, crying. “No more! Why?” she wailed. I picked her up like a rag doll and sat down with her in my arms as she wailed the word ‘why’, over and over.

“The police officer on the scene called me after they arrived. I’d given them a heads up and they’ve been keeping an eye out, just in case. I’m glad I did. He stated that the neighbors had been out and came home to find the front door standing wide open, the front window smashed. Doesn’t look like much is missing, but we don’t know. It appears the intruder was looking for something specific.”

Maisie was still sobbing. I wasn’t really sure what to do. “Should we go there so that Maisie can see what’s missing? Or do we wait, or what?” I asked, feeling as devastated as Maisie.

“The crime scene crew is there dusting for fingerprints and taking pictures. They said you should come tomorrow. Take her to your place, Tate. Try to get some rest.”

 

By the time we reached my townhouse, an exhausted Maisie laid on the bed. She had swollen, puffy eyes, and a red nose from crying so hard.  Sadie joined her.

“Thank goodness she was here,” she said, and started to cry again.

I climbed on the bed beside her and pulled her into my arms. As she cried, I was going through my own questions of why.

 

 

Chapter Ten

 

Tate

 

The phone ringing woke me at 7:32 the next morning. Maisie was still sound asleep. I sat up on the edge of the bed. “Hey,” I said when I saw it was Daniel, and scrubbed my hands over my face in an attempt to wake up.

“They’re done, I had a board put over the window and the locks on the doors changed. I’ll meet you there when you’re ready so that I can let you in.”

“She’ll never sleep there again,” I commented. “Anything obvious?”

“Paperwork strewn everywhere, but it doesn’t look like anything like electronics are missing. Maisie will have to give us an inventory.”

I looked and she was still asleep. “How about after lunch? She’ll want a shower and some time to wrap her head around this.”

“Make it one. I’ll see you there.”

As I hung up, Maisie rolled toward me. “Daniel?” she asked, and I nodded.

“We’ll meet him there at one. I need to call Carlene and Dion just so they don’t hear about it from somewhere else.”

 

At one that afternoon, we pulled into the driveway. As soon as Maisie saw the board that covered the window she started to cry again. I walked around to her side of the truck and opened the door. Taking her hand, we met Daniel at the garage and went in through the kitchen door.

His description had been accurate – the place was trashed. Drawers and cabinets were left open some were broken; the doors left dangling on their hinges. Paperwork that she’d had on the counter was all over the floor. But that paled in comparison to what we found as we turned the corner into the dining and living room area.

Maisie picked up a broken glass dish. “This was Granny’s,” she mumbled, tears streaking her cheeks. In a daze, she picked things up and tried to put them back. I started toward her to help.

Daniel put his hand on my arm to stop me. “Let her go a minute. She needs to see what may be missing.” She walked to the desk that sat between the two rooms. Her slow drift through the maze of papers on the floor, the look on her face, and the tears that continued to stream down her cheeks broke my heart. A drawer had been cast to the floor. She turned the chair upright and sat down. Slowly, she began picking up pieces of paper and sorting. She made an attempt to return the drawer to its place in the desk, but her sobs seemed to inhibit the completion and she put it back on the floor. At last, she turned to look over her shoulder to Daniel. “I don’t see the folder with my personal papers.” Her voice was almost inaudible.

“What was in there, Maisie?” he asked.

“My birth certificate, passport, insurance documents,” she hesitated. “Blake’s death certificate.”

“What kind of insurance documents, Maisie?” Daniel asked.

“Just the house and car. The settlement papers from the crash are in a safe deposit box.”

Finally, I couldn’t take it any longer. I went over and replaced the drawer and then followed behind her, making an effort to help her pick up and put things where she thought they belonged. She didn’t say a word for a long time. She’d run her fingers through the residual fingerprint powder and I’d see the tears start once more.

“We’ll get someone to come in, sweetheart.” She just looked at me with sad eyes, and turned to go to the bedroom. The drawers were emptied and clothing littered the floor. The mattress was flipped as though the intruder thought something may have been hidden there, and her closet was a mess of empty shoe boxes and shoes scattered all over the floor.

“I don’t find anything missing. All this chaos and just those papers. Why, Tate? Why would they want those things?”

“I don’t know, baby.”

After she’d made her way around the house, Daniel left, but said he’d be back in a couple of hours. We took a while to try to put things back in order, but she couldn’t stop crying, so I called Daniel and took her away.

 

***

 

We didn’t have to wonder for long. The next morning, pictures from the accident scene and details of Blake’s death appeared on the front page of the National Ledger. That, added to the break in, threw Maisie over the edge. She wouldn’t get out of bed.

The following day, Nashville Celebrity News released more photos, more horrific than the ones from the day before. Maisie’s sweet face was a mess – blotchy, with puffy, swollen eyes from crying. I couldn’t get her out of bed and she wouldn’t eat. I called Carlene.

Carlene had tried to talk to her at the beginning of this nightmare, but Maisie would have no part of it. “Carlene, I’m at my wit’s end. I can’t get through to her. She won’t get up and she’s still not eating.”

“She was like this when Blake died,” Carlene explained. “She’s just hurting so deeply. I’ll be there in an hour.”

 

When she arrived, we talked a minute before I showed her to the bedroom. I watched as she sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Maisie’s hair. “Hey, little one.”

Maisie turned to face her. “Why?”

“I don’t know, sugah, but Tate’s working real hard to find out,” she replied in a motherly voice, leaning over to wrap Maisie in her arms.

“I feel so helpless,” Maisie mumbled.

“I can’t imagine how you feel. This was such a personal intrusion and…”

“I’m trapped,” she interrupted, the tears coming in a flood once more.

“Trapped?” Carlene asked. She looked my way, cocking her head for me to join them.

“Trapped?” I repeated as I crawled on the bed beside her. “Tell me what you mean.”

“I don’t have the courage or the energy to move from this spot,” she said in a tiny voice.

“Yes you will. You can,” I said firmly. “We’ll figure this out. I’m telling you, Maisie, I won’t stop until we do.”

“Tate,” she said, and turned to face me. “I don’t think I can. I’m afraid for one more thing to happen – one more story. The pictures from the accident gutted me. Something so private, so personal. I’d never seen them before. I can’t take it anymore.”

We just sat there. Silence loomed over the room like a wet blanket, heavy and stifling. Finally, I had a thought. “If you won’t get up, then I’ll stay right here in this bed with you.” I lay down beside her and pulled her close. “You don’t get up, I don’t get up. That’s how we roll. Joined at the hip, two peas in a pod, peas and carrots, all that shit.”

“Me too,” Carlene said. She climbed on the bed, scrunching the three of us together as she wrapped her arms around Maisie. “I ain’t leavin’ this spot.”

We all laid there a minute until finally, Carlene announced, “Until I have to pee.”

That’s when Maisie lost it. I couldn’t tell if she was crying or if she’d just lost her mind. She curled against me, her body shook, and she huh-huh-huh’d trying to catch her breath. I eased her back. “Look at me.” She lifted her head and I saw that she was laughing.

Carlene leaned up, draping her body over Maisie’s shoulder to see her face. What a picture of the three of us must have been.

“Your bladder’s only the size of a button. Get off me. I can’t breathe.” She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and tried to sit up.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I just don’t think I can take one more thing. I keep thinking there’s an end to this.
It has to stop soon
, I keep telling myself. But it doesn’t.”

She lay there a minute longer and finally pushed me away and rose from the bed, leaving Carlene and me both lying there. “I need a shower.”

After she was gone, Carlene asked, “What’s Daniel saying?”

“That someone is just out to hurt her. He thinks that it’s someone who thinks I’ll get tired of it and lose interest.”

“Lose interest in Maisie?” Carlene asked, and I nodded. “Will you?”

“No. I’d walk away from the business first. She means that much to me.”

“I knew that’d be your reply. So what do we do now?” Carlene asked.

“Wait. I’m not real good at that, Carlene, but Daniel keeps telling me to sit tight.”

***

 

Maisie

 

I swear I’m trying to deal with all of this. I’m trying to hold my head high and move forward, but it’s like I get my nose just above the water line and lightning strikes. I have a great fear that Tate will get tired of it all, but he keeps telling me we’ll figure it out. My persistent cowboy has become my knight in shining armor.

He went in to town today while I was at the shop with Dion. When he came back to get me, and we were in the truck, he pulled his phone out and fiddled with it a minute.

“Listen to this,” he told me.

“What is it?”

“Daniel bootlegged a copy of this. Just listen,” he replied.

 

He’s supposed to love me

That’s how it should be

We just never had a chance

For it to be

Him and me

She came along – changed it all

I dreamed he’d be my all

Then, Cinderella came along

And he took her to the ball

 

I paused the song. “Oh my…” Quietly, I reflected on the voice and the words. It was Ami. “Is she referring to you taking me to Disney?”

“Daniel thinks so. We can’t let on to anyone. Daniel said the person that gave him the copy, a studio insider who doesn’t much care for Ami, told him he’d overheard her tell that Audra tried to set her and me up, but that I’d been stolen away from her by a ‘nobody’ - someone not in the business, but everyone is talking. I wanted you to hear before the story got too big. Brushfire, you know?”

“But Audra did try to set you up.”

“I told you before that I had no interest. Your friend is not my type.”

“She’s not my friend. She’s a well-paying customer. I’ve kissed her ass to keep her business - that’s all. Do you think she read more into that night you went out…?”

“I don’t know what the hell she thought. I showed no interest in her at all. I told everyone that asked that we were there because we shared a label. I said I was new in town and Audra thought it be good for us to go together. Maisie, I showed Ami no interest at all,” he said, getting flustered.

“That’s the problem. If this truly is about us, it’s because Ami doesn’t do disinterest well.” She paused a moment, then added, “But I can’t believe she could be the one behind this.”

“You’ve had the thought in your head though. Am I right?”

I started the song again. She went on to sing about chance encounters that were swept away with Cinderella’s broom, and being the one the shoe should have fit.

“I know she wanted to set you up as a couple, Audra, I mean. You never really went out, right?”

“Just the GRAMMY event,” he said, and I looked at him. “That’s all, I swear!”

“It doesn’t matter,” I began.

“Do you think something happened between us? Because it didn’t. I didn’t sleep with her, Maisie,” he interrupted me, “didn’t hold her hand, and I dang sure didn’t kiss her.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“I mean it. Nothing. I told you that before you and I ever even started seeing each other.”

We stopped at a stoplight and he turned in the seat to look at me.

“I know. I love you, Tate.”

“Daniel is doing a full-blown investigation into her.”

“This will be interesting.”

 

***

 

Tate

 

Daniel and I talked daily, but it seemed as though there was nothing concrete enough to pin Ami down to anything.

“It’s pissing me off, so I know Maisie is over it. Something! Find something, Daniel!” I shouted, when we spoke.

“We’re not done digging,” he kept telling me.

“We’ve been digging too long!”

 

This leg of the tour was single shows. No opening act, just me – big, but a little lower key. As we prepared to hit the road, Audra was on a tear about ‘the negative press’ and the fact that Maisie was going with me. “Hot new rising country star dragging poor defenseless girlfriend along on tour,” she growled and rambled on. She’d been ranting for about ten minutes. “This is a publicity nightmare…”

I laid the itinerary that I’d been looking at aside. “You’re ‘bout to piss me off, Audra,” I calmly interrupted her. Inside I wanted to rip her frigging head off. I thought a minute and added: “We can fix this whole thing right now.”

“What?” she asked, in a sharp voice.

“Your rant about Maisie going along. I can end this conversation with two words.”

“What? You’re going to fire me?” she said sarcastically.

“I’m thinkin’ about it,” I replied. “Shut up about Maisie. I mean it. You’re not swaying my decision. I want her with me, and with all that’s happened, I’m not leaving her alone. My choice. My decision. Final word. Got it?”

“You really give me no choice,” she barked back. “But you’re number one on the charts and you really don’t need…”

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