Tangled in a Web of Lies (14 page)

“Odin.” His name escapes my lips as I fall into a mental state of ecstasy.

“Louder! I wanna fucking hear you say it!” he demands, loosening his grip on my neck just enough. His fury drives me insane, setting fire to my nerves.

“Odin!” I scream, begging him not to stop, cumming so hard my body arches on my tip toes. Every muscle in my body flexes, filled with untamed heat.

“O…” My mind is so lost I can’t even make out his full name. I grip the pole in my hands as my body unleashes an orgasm so strong it makes my body violently convulse. Finally, I can’t take any more. My knees give in, and I slouch against the restraints on my wrists, trying to pull away from the vibrator.

He takes his hand off my throat, and pulls the pink bunny out of me. In one quick motion he takes my legs and wraps them around his waist. He thrusts into me, each long inch of him forcing deeper. He lets lose, driving into me hard and fast, like a wild beast. My back slams into the pole, my breasts heaving upward with each thrust of his hips. My insides still ripple with sensitivity that he fucks hard.

“You’re mine Rabbit. Mine to play with, mine to hurt, mine to fuck!” he hisses as he pumps himself into me.

“Yes.” I am his to use. I use my legs to pull him into me, digging my heels into the flesh of his backside. He groans loudly. Grabbing a fist full of hair he pulls my head back and exposes my neck. I scream as he sinks his teeth into me, biting me so hard he breaks the skin.

I let the sharp heels of my stilettos claw into his back. In retaliation his teeth bite down onto my neck, and he sucks the blood into his mouth. Finally I feel him cum, his cock throbbing inside of me.

He growls loudly, his voice muffled by my throat as he slams into me one last time, so hard that I gasp.

He kisses my neck softly, but the skin is broken and sore and I wince. His lips meet mine, and he loosens the belt around my wrists as his tongue dips in my mouth. I kick my heels off, my legs still tightly wrapped around his waist, and he carries me to his bed.

We lie, tangled together in his bed. I cup his face in my hand, pushing his choppy blond hair to the side. His blue eyes are soft again, gazing down at me passionately. He runs his thumb over my lip.

“I love you,” I say, staring into his eyes.

“I love you.” His words fill my heart with wild emotions. I pull his face down to mine, and kiss him hard.

The next morning, my body still feels like jelly when I pull myself out of bed. It’s still dark outside, but with an hour’s drive ahead of us, I get moving quickly. I pull my clothes on and head into the bathroom.  First glance in the mirror startles me. There is a thick red hand print on my throat, complimented by dark red teeth marks that are still forming scabs. Now is one of those times I wish I owned a turtle neck.

I leave my hair down, even though it’s a giant red curly mess, hoping to hide my neck a little. When I wash my hands in the sink the warm water bites at the red marks on my wrists.

Odin comes in behind me, and strolls past me in the mirror, making his way through the door into the actual bathroom.

I have to stay calm. I have the urge to pick at the scabs on my thighs, all this stress is getting to me. It’s like this whole ordeal has tweaked me in a way I don’t think I will ever come back from. I feel… unstable. I take a deep breath, reading myself for what I have to do next.

We take the truck to the clinic. We’re both tired after last night, and neither of us says much as we head toward Temecula. Odin holds my hand the entire way, and it really does settle my anxiety. I can do this.

Traffic is thick as usual, but eventually we arrive at Eureka Springs Women’s Center. Odin can sense how nervous I am and he takes my hand to his lips, and kisses my knuckles.

“I’m here, babe,” he reminds me one last time before we go inside.

He opens the doors for me, and I plop my purse down in a seat furthest from the check-in window, trying to keep him at a distance. I pull my wallet out, and make my way to the front desk to sign in.

I stand at the window and fill out all the paperwork in a hurry. The assistant behind the counter asks me if I have abstained from food and drinks for at least eight hours, and I nod. Then she tells me to have a seat.

Odin and I wait for about an hour together. He holds my hand in his lap, stoking his thumb over mine. I expect someone to call me into the back, but when a nurse comes out to greet us in the waiting room, my heart sinks into my chest.

“Miss Winter?” she asks, holding a hand out for me to shake. “We’re all ready for you to come back. Just to let you know the wait time on this procedure is about two to three hours, plus an hour in the recovery room which you’re free to come back and sit with her then,” she says to Odin. Inside I’m screaming at her to shut the hell up, and just take me back there.

Odin gives me one last hug. “I’ll be right here waiting for you babe. It’s gonna be okay,” he says holding me to him. I nod, then escape in a hurry as I follow the nurse back.

Like any appointment, they start by taking my height and weight, and then a doctor comes in to explain everything to me. It’s hard to pay attention. Inside my heart is racing, my mind is anxiously trying not to think about any of this as I go forward with the motions. I can tell the Doctor senses something is amiss, I feel her skeptical eyes on me. But I assure her I am ready for this, and have no second thoughts. After an ultrasound where I don’t so much as look at the screen, I follow her into the operating room. Things get blurry with the anesthesia. There is no going back from here.

Devil’s Cut

Doctor Hadley draws the nurse’s attention to the cuts on Lila’s thighs.

“Looks like this one has been dealing with some issues,” she notes, shaking her head.

“Probably a good thing she’s not going through with the pregnancy,” says the nurse. Dr. Hadley nods her head to agree. Lila is asleep on the table, and the sight of her physical state raises concern among the medical staff.

“These are most likely self inflicted,” says the doctor, running her finger over the thick scabs on Lila’s thighs. “But the marks on her neck and her wrists aren’t. Either she’s suffering some kind of abuse or...”

“Or she’s into some really kinky stuff,” the nurse finishes Dr. Hadley’s sentence.

“Did she come here alone?” Dr. Hadley asks the nurse who met Lila in the waiting room.

“No there’s a gentleman waiting for her. They kissed, he seemed supportive, but that doesn’t mean anything.”

Dr. Hadley is a great doctor, who takes her job helping women very seriously. She always goes above and beyond the call of duty to provide not only good medical care, but assure the mental well being of her patients. Cases like Lila aren’t uncommon. Women who are obviously battling mental illness, choosing to abort, is a noble yet difficult choice.

Dr. Hadley wheels Lila into the recovery room, and waits patiently for the anesthesia to wear off, asking the nurse to hold off on inviting Odin back into the recovery area.

Before asking any questions, Dr. Hadley tries to put Lila’s mind at ease, telling her that the operation went as planned with no complications. Then she gives her all the information about after care, and prescribes her some antibiotics to prevent any infection.

“As a doctor, I want to know that I sent you home as healthy and safe as possible. The man you came with, is he your boyfriend?” Dr. Hadley notices Lila’s facial expression shift, into what looks like worry.

“Yes,” Lila responds hesitantly.

“Did he do this to you?” Dr. Hadley asks, putting the tip of her pen on Lila’s wrist. “And that?” She gestures at her neck. 

“I know what you’re thinking. It’s not like that. Odin is a great guy. He’s supportive, and he would never hurt me. We like to get a little rough sometimes, but it’s all in good fun. Trust me. I was in a very abusive marriage for way too long. Odin helped me get out of it, and I would never go back.”

Dr. Hadley believes Lila.

“What about the cuts on your legs?” It isn’t necessarily her right to ask, but she wants to know that Lila is safe to release. A lot of women can become suicidal following an abortion.

“I went through some shit with my divorce. It was ugly, but it’s in the past. It’s all up from here.” Lila’s smile is sincere.

“Okay. I’ll let the nurse bring your boyfriend back to wait with you. We can release you in about 45 minutes.” Dr. Hadley smiles at Lila one last time, before walking out of the recovery room.

“Go ahead and bring the boyfriend back, make sure you give him some support counseling, just to be safe,” Dr. Hadley tells the nurse.

The nurse makes her way into the waiting room, where Odin is still seated next to the exit.

“For Delilah?”

His face perks up when he hears her name. “Yes,” he says, standing abruptly.

“Everything went just fine, she’s in recovery now. I can take you back there in just a minute, but first if you’ll have a seat, the doctor’s asked me to go over a couple things with you.”

Odin takes his seat next to the nurse. The waiting room is mostly empty, and no one can hear her except for him.

“We noticed some marks on her body that raised a little concern with her doctor. I’m sure you’re aware of the cuts on her legs.”

Odin nods, acknowledging the nurses concern. He’d noticed the fresh cuts on Lila’s legs when they’d gotten back together, but he didn’t want to force her to talk about it. It was hard on both of them being apart. He had done the same thing, and he was appreciative that Lila hadn’t mentioned it. It wasn’t something he was comfortable talking about.

“I just wanted to give you a word of advice about being supportive. Giving up a baby is a very difficult decision to make for any woman. Things like self harm and suicide after having an abortion aren’t uncommon. Since Delilah is already showing signs of distress, it’s really important to keep an eye on her. Make sure she’s mentally stable.”

Odin’s face gets pale.
Giving up a baby?
Is that what she just did?
Suddenly a million disturbing light bulbs go off in his head. No wonder she’s been acting so strange. It all makes sense, the break up, the crying, and the void between them. She was hiding a baby from him. His baby!

The wind leaves his lungs, like he’s just been kicked in the stomach. He stares at the nurse speechless.

“You look a little nervous, are you ready to follow me back?” The nurse drags him out of his thoughts. He follows the nurse back to the recovery room feeling like an empty shell. Lila is dressed, and waiting to leave. She’s smiling, like she’s happy. Happy to abort his baby. The thought stabs at him, like a knife in his heart. He could have supported her decision to abort, but the lies, that’s what fucks with his head the most. She’s been lying to him.

The nurse leaves them alone, to get her discharge papers. He’s silent, his brain is still trying to wrap around this new information.

Here isn’t the place to talk about it. He tries to act like everything is fine, taking her hand while they wait for the nurse to come back. He stares into her eyes, how could she lie to him? How could she lay in his bed, and give herself to him so freely, knowing she was holding this huge secret?

Anger fills his heart, but he keeps his emotions tucked away until they are safely on their way home. He takes her by the pharmacy, and waits in the truck while she goes inside to fill her prescription. He contemplates how to go about confronting her. Will she still try to lie about it? What will her excuse be? Is she afraid to have his children, afraid they’ll be as fucked up as him? Maybe she just doesn’t love him, and doesn’t want to be attached to him for the next 18 years. Was she ever going to tell him?

Odin slams his fist against the steering wheel, hurt and frustrated. How could he be so stupid? Falling in love with her was a mistake. If she kept his baby a secret, who knows what else she’s hiding. He grips his hand around the wheel and tries to calm down, but his nerves get the better of him.

She slowly climbs back into the truck. Without even looking at her, he pulls back onto the road and drives toward her house. It’s quiet as a million thoughts rush through his head. She doesn’t seem to notice. Her eyes gaze passively out the window, her hand draped over her stomach where a baby was this morning. He had no idea.

Finally he pulls up to her apartment.

“Aren’t you coming?” she asks surprised when he doesn’t turn off the engine. Part of him just wants to run away from the pain in his heart. But until she admits it, he’ll never be able to get passed it.

He turns the truck off and follows Lila into her condo. Once inside, he lingers in the door way quietly. There’s a lump in his throat, trying to find the words to say to her.

“Everything okay?” she asks nervously. Finally, he can see the truth behind her eyes.

“No,” he says, trying to stay calm. “I know what you did.”

“What are you talking about?” Her shaky voice gives her away.

“Don’t fucking lie to me Lila,” he warns. “Tell me why!” He tries to control his temper, but he can feel the anger inside him burning out of control. He waits for some magic answer but she’s quiet. Face to face with the truth, he comes unglued.

“God Damn it! What the fuck?” he screams. “Were you ever going to tell me you were pregnant?”

She opens her mouth, but the words don’t come out. He lunges toward her, and she immediately recoils, backing herself against the wall. She’s terrified when he continues moving closer.

“Answer me!” he demands, raising his voice in her face. She flinches, afraid he’s going to hurt her.

“Don’t you think I fucking deserve to know?” he shouts. He has her cornered against the wall. Trapped like a helpless little rabbit. She’s not getting out of this. Her eyes well up with tears, and her body trembles in fear but he doesn’t let up. He has the urge to grab her by the throat and choke the truth out of her, but that would mean he’s no better than her ex husband, or his old man.

She shakes her head, but she doesn’t say a word. It drives him mad that she won’t even talk to him.

“Fuck!” he growls, slamming his hands on the wall on either side of her face.

Lila shrieks. “I’m sorry.” She barely manages as tears spill from her fear struck eyes.

She tries to cover her face with her hands, hiding her shame. He grabs her wrists, pulling her hands away and forcing her to look at him.

“Stop!” she screams, trying to fight him off. But she’s no match for him.

“Tell me why!” he demands, holding her wrists against the wall.

She’s all tears, sobbing uncontrollably, shaking in her skin.

“I didn’t have a choice,” she cries. “Please, Odin. Don’t hurt me.”

Didn’t have a choice? Of course she had a choice, unless…

He doesn’t think the pain of betrayal can get worse until he grabs her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye. She flinches the moment he touches her. He never wanted her to fear him. But as he braces himself for a truth he might not be able to handle, her feelings are irrelevant.

“Was it mine?” he can barely form the words. He doesn’t want to believe she’d ever cheat. But she stares into his eyes desperate and helpless, and doesn’t answer. Tears flood her eyes, and they’re all the answer he needs.

Rage ignites inside of him. He sends his fist through the wall right next to her face. She screams, covering her face and turning away from him. He lets her go, before he does something he regrets.