Tananguard 02 - To Love a Lord (23 page)

Marcus looked to Don Murrieta. “I apologize, but I must return to the house.”

Murrieta looked to the stables and saw the figure walking toward the manor. He looked at Marcus. “Your son?”

Marcus nodded.

“I will keep Garret here with me. We will stay here by the kennels if anyone comes looking,” he said pointedly.

Marcus sighed in relief. “Thank you.” Then he hurried toward the house. Someone needed to be there when Connor discovered Josephine.

*

Connor sighed tiredly. He’d been in town, staying at the local inn waiting for Sophia to arrive. Garret had promised to send word, but why wait at home when he could wait where he could be the first to see her? But he hadn’t seen her, and he hadn’t heard any word of her. So he found himself back at Tananguard
, wondering what to do next.

He handed his horse’s reigns to the stable boy. “Here Fredric. Have at him.”
He walked to the house in frustration. How was he going to find her?

He entered the house to find several of the maids whispering eagerly. They took one look at him and dashed out of sight.

“Odd.” He shook his head then froze. Music filled the air. Someone was playing the pianoforte. Was Lilly finally feeling well enough to play again? She was the only one in this house who played. But during her pregnancy, playing gave her headaches and caused her stomach to sicken. She hadn’t played since.

Connor found himself mesmerized by the sound. He followed it to the parlor and just listened
from the hall, not bothering to even look inside the room. The music brought him peace. He leaned up against the wall and slid his back down it until he was sitting on the floor. The song was nothing new, but the sensations it brought were so familiar somehow. He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes to listen. It reminded him of a time long ago…

The music stopped followed by the sounds of weeping. Why was she—
*

Josephine couldn’t play any longer. It reminded her too much of the day she’d met Connor. Her heart cried out for him and the tears followed.
Would he be able to forgive her? Would his family? Would he be angry that she’d left without showing him the letter? She’d come back, but maybe it was too late.

“Josephine, what is the matter?” her aunt asked with concern.
Both she and Lilly had come to her side. Christina sat down next to her and placed an arm around her shoulder while Lilly stood to the side looking at her with as much concern as Christina.

It was Lilly’s look Josephine returned. “This was how we met,” she began. And then she told her everything.

Pure shock filled his being as she spoke. Connor listened to her voice, knowing she was finally within reach but not being able to move to her. He sat frozen on the floor, listening to her tell
their
story. His heart beat faster and harder as she grew closer to the betrayal. Rebecca Cunningham had told her about the bet, not Lucas, but the only way
she
could have learned of it was from Lucas.

And the plot thickens,
Connor thought.

Lucas, it all came back to him. Connor mourned for his friend and hated him at the same time.

“I should have trusted Connor. I should have waited for him to tell me of this bet, but instead I went to Lucas. He offered me a drink. I do not do well with alcohol, but I accepted it. I was very nervous and upset,” Sophia said, laughing bitterly.

Lucas had told Connor as much
. He had told Connor that both he and Sophia had gotten drunk. Lucas confessed he had always been attracted to her, but he knew his boundaries…sober. Drunk was another matter. She was in need of comfort, and Lucas was…Lucas was Lucas. He had never apologized for taking Sophia to his bed, but Connor didn’t believe Lucas really understood how deeply
he
loved her. Lucas understood friendship, though, and after some time, he began to realize he had ruined something in theirs.

It
was comforting hearing Sophia tell the story, hearing the pain and regret in her voice, knowing she hated what had happened and had stayed away purely out of shame and thinking he could never forgive her.

“
I don’t remember much that happened after I began to drink. I remember crying next to Lucas. Then the next thing I remember is falling out of bed, looking for a chamber pot to sicken in.” He could hear the tears in her voice. “I don’t remember anything that happened in between. It is no excuse, for I was compromised just the same. Lucas was in that bed…and…and we were both unclothed. Connor found us that way, me on the floor exposed and Lucas in the bed. It was horrible!” she sobbed. “How could he ever forgive me for such a thing? I could not even forgive myself. I was so ashamed. Then after learning he might still care for me, I ran to Spain…,” she trailed off.

“
Josephine, he does still care. I think he even understands why and how this all happened. He blames himself,” Lilly said tenderly.

He did blame himself. If only he had been honest. If only
he had told Lucas the truth. If only…Connor placed his head in his hands and sighed bitterly. A hand came down on his shoulder, startling Connor. He looked up to find his father hovering over him. His face was pale as he, too, listened to Sophia’s story. He was alone, and Connor wondered how long he’d been standing there.

“But you see? There’s more.”

Sophia’s story shifted. She spoke of the day Lilly and Maggie had arrived in William’s camp.

“I slipped away with the men. I had to help save his sister. I was there at the end when Lucas exited the tunnel with her. So much happened at once. And then I shot him,” her voice rose in pitch as more tears came.

Connor stood abruptly. Sophia killed Lucas? The pain she must be feeling! No woman should suffer the shock of ending another’s life. He took a step toward the room’s entrance to go to her.

His father
’s hand held him in place. Connor looked at him in surprise and received a shake of the head, keeping Connor in his spot. His father wanted to hear the rest of the story.

“That shot ended his life, but before he died, he shoved this piece of paper into my hand.” There was a rustling sound, and Connor could only assume she was
pulling forth the object she’d spoken of. “It’s a letter addressed to Connor, but Lucas had given it to me. I opened it, and what I read…,” she trailed off obviously in pain.

What did the letter say
? What more could Lucas do to them that he hadn’t already done?

“
Lucas…he staged the entire thing.”

Connor grew numb
as he slumped heavily into the wall.

“
He never bedded me,” she said quietly. “I fell unconscious from too much drink. He didn’t touched me except to take me to his room and remove my clothes. This letter explains it all. It explains that he did it for Connor because I was not worthy of him,” she finished.

Was it true? Connor had to see that letter. Nothing mattered but that letter
! He broke from his father’s grasp and entered the room. She was at the pianoforte, staring at the keys with the letter in her hand as if she were offering it to Lilly. She didn’t notice him walking toward her.

“
I went to Spain because Lucas was right. Connor would ruin his name—your name—to be with me. I can’t tell you how many times I told him that, but he didn’t care. He was willing to give it all up for me, and I finally understand that now. But I don’t know how to make this right. I don’t know how to tell him—”

Sophia froze when she
finally saw him. Connor was breathing shallowly as he strode to her and ripped the letter from her hand. She flinched, but didn’t say anything. She just stared at him. He knew his father had followed him into the room, but Connor didn’t care. All that mattered was this damned letter. Four pairs of eyes stared at him as he read.

It was in Lucas’s handwriting, and Connor’s name was indeed on it.
He read the letter slowly at first. Then he read it again. Three times he read it, growing angrier by the moment. He was livid. He couldn’t breathe. He was so furious he couldn’t do anything except stand there and shake.

“Connor?” his father asked quietly.

Connor looked at him, eyes flaring wildly. They darted to each person in the room and finally rested on Sophia. She looked afraid and shamed, but why? She was innocent! She had suffered the most because of this, and Connor was to blame for it all! He was angry, and he hurt all over. He needed to yell or hit something. He had to get out of this room before he did something he would regret.

He crumpled the paper
, turned and stopped. He cocked his head slightly in her direction, feeling her presence pull at him. Could he really leave without her? Could he walk away as he once had and make her feel again she was not wanted? He turned back around and held his hand out to her.

“Come,” he said, eyes
burrowing into hers.

She glanced at the woman next to her then back to Connor. The woman moved from the bench whether Sophia wished her to or not.

Connor motioned Sophia with his hand. “Come,” he said again. “I would have words with you alone.”

She stood and came to him, placing her hand in his.
It felt…perfect. He slid his thumb over the scars, knowing it always made her uncomfortable when he did. But he loved her, every ounce of her, including those scars.

“Connor,” his father said. “I do not feel this is wise.
You’re not yourself. Someone should be with you.”

“I do not need a chaperone. She is my wife, and I will speak with her alone,” he growled.

“Your wife?” his father asked in astonishment. “You wed her?” He looked to Sophia for confirmation. “You married my son?” Connor was shocked to see hope in those eyes.

She flinched visibly as if stung, but she nodded in return.

“He did not mean it like that,” Connor said quietly. “He, like me, does not care that you are a commoner.”

“
No, of course not. Joseph Meredith was an honorable man. His daughter in my family would truly be welcome in all ways,” Marcus said. “I had thought you dishonored by my own son. This news that you were not, brings me great relief.”

She gasped. “Connor was very honorable. He never compromised me in any way,” she emphasized.

Marcus sighed in relief.
“Then it means I have raised him properly.”

Connor cringed within. He did not deserve
either compliment. The Game alone spoke against his upbringing. And he did compromise Sophia simply by placing her within The Game. He should never have agreed to that stupid bet. It was too late to change that now, but he could ask forgiveness.

“Excuse us, please,”
Connor said to his father. Without waiting for an answer, he pulled Sophia from the room with him.

He didn’t know where he was going, but
he needed to get away from his father and from the accusing looks of the women. Sophia didn’t speak as he pulled her through the house. She didn’t ask questions. She didn’t complain. She simply followed his lead.

He didn’t pay attention to where he was guiding her either. His mind was ablaze with too many thoughts, thoughts of her, of their past together,
and of their son. He had a son!

Finally, he found the two of them in a room tog
ether alone. He shut the door behind him and sighed as he tried to think of what to say. Where did he begin? He turned around and panicked when he realized which room he had steered her to. It was his bed chamber, and he’d just shut the door. He swallowed. “Uh…perhaps a different room,” he suggested.

“No, this is fine,” she said innocently.

Didn’t she realize where they were? Didn’t she know how much he still desired her? Apparently, neither did he, but his subconscious did and that was how they had ended up here. He took a deep breath and released it slowly.

She was standing bravely
, staring up at him with…hope in her eyes. He took in the sight of her. She was beautiful, so beautiful.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

She shook her head. “Don’t, Connor. Don’t blame yourself. There are too many hands involved to blame yourself.”

“And who do you blame?” he asked.

She laughed, but it was a bitter laugh. “I’ve blamed many people, including myself, but I never blamed you.”

“Nor I you. You were innocent in all of this,” he said passionately.

“If it were only that simple,” she said quietly. She took a deep breath and surprised him with her next words. “I came here for a reason, Connor. I…,” she paused, trembling visibly. She looked away from him and stared at the floor. “I came to beg forgiveness and ask if there is any future for you and me. I still love you.” She braved meeting his searching gaze and said fervently, “I love you.”

In two steps he was reaching for her pulling her to him to cover her mouth with his.
Those words were everything he had dreamed of hearing since she left him five years ago. “My love,” he whispered between kisses. “There is always a place by my side for you. I never stopped loving you.”

She inhaled sharply with those words as if tears were forming. “Connor, oh Connor.” She kissed him with such
hunger; he felt her passion boiling into his. He took her to his bed, thinking only of the aching need within his soul and knowing only she could quench it. And she did not resist. It reminded him of the first time they were together. How eager she was then, and how eager she was now. Emotions drove them, emotions spurred by years of separation and torment. But they loved each other through all of it, and it drove their passion as they made love.

Afterward, Connor held her in his arms, holding her as if he were afraid to let go.
She was laying on him, her head resting on his chest. She placed her hands under her chin and looked at him. He smiled at her, leaning forward to kiss her forehead.

“I never thought I would be whole again,” he said.

“I make you whole?”

“Yes. I’ve been half a man since you disappeared five years ago,” he admitted.

“I’m sorry,” she said tenderly. “I’m sorry for all of it.”

“And I forgive you though there’s nothing to forgive. But for peace of mind, I must tell you one thing. I forgave you the moment you saw Lucas in the bed. I could see it in your face. Yo
u were more surprised to see him there than I was to see you in his room.” He sighed quietly. “I knew at that moment you were innocent, but I was so angry. It took me ten days to overcome my pride and ask forgiveness.”

“You would have asked me for forgiveness?” she asked in pained astonishment. “But why? I placed myself in that situation, and I was foolish enough to drink.”

“But you didn’t know what he was going to do. He was a gentleman of society. You should have been able to trust him,” Connor said defensively.

“He was Lucas, and I knew he had a shady reputation with women. I was not blind to it as other women, but I needed answers and I thought he was the only one who would give them to me. I…I was afraid to ask you. I was afraid of the truth. I was afraid to hear you say
I was simply a means to an end,” she replied quietly.

“You were always more to me than a simple bet. I only accepted it to keep Lucas from questioning my motives. He would have discouraged my attachment to you, and I was very attached from the beginning.”

He caressed her face and leaned in to kiss her lips. “Sophia?” he asked.

She flinched with the name, and he realized she’d given it up. He had always yearned to call her by her given name, and now he finally could.