Taming Lo: A You and I Novel (18 page)

“
Dax.”
I breathe, as his hand reaches out and guides my body backwards until
I am resting flat on my back on the counter.

“
Shhhh.”
He trails his fingers lightly across my bare torso, causing my skin
to prickle beneath his touch. Positioning himself at my entrance, I
hear him take a ragged inhale before pushing his way inside.

He buries himself deep and then stills for a moment,
allowing my body the chance to adjust to his size. “Dax.”
I plead, urging him forward. I didn't realize how badly I had missed
the feeling of him inside of me until just now.

Feeling his hardness, how completely he fills me, has me
clawing helplessly as he plunges deep inside of me over and over
again. I arch my back off of the cool counter top, giving me the
mobility to push downward and meet him thrust for thrust.

He grips my hips tightly and increases his speed,
pounding into me so forcefully that my body bounces against his with
little control over its own movements. I feel my second orgasm start
to unfold. I feel it build in my lower belly causing me to tense
below Dax, unable to fight the pleasure working its way deep inside
of me and threatening to spill over.

“
Give
it to me baby. Don't hold back.” He growls, sensing how close I
am. “Let me feel you pulse around my hard dick.” His
dirty mouth immediately sends my control spiraling and I explode
around him on a cry so loud, it echos around us.

I feel him grow impossibly hard inside of me as my walls
quake around him. I see the tension in his shoulders grow as his own
orgasm takes hold. I watch his mouth drop open and hear a deep groan
of pleasure escape his lips as his release finally spills into me.

Within seconds, he stills inside of me, collapsing
forward to rest his head on my chest. Reaching out, I lazily run my
hands through his messy brown locks, loving the way his pounding
heart feels against my stomach.

He lays there for a long moment before finally looking
up at me. Giving me a very satisfied smile, he pulls out of me and
pushes up, grabbing my hand to take me up with him as he does.

“
You
are incredible.” He purrs against my lips before gently teasing
them with his own.

“
I
could say the same about you.” I smile against his mouth,
pulling back to get a glimpse of those amazing hazel eyes of his.

“
I've
missed this.” He says, tucking my hair over my shoulder and
trailing his hand lightly along my jaw, his thumb skirting gently
across my bottom lip.

“
Me
too.” I admit, having not realized just how much.

“
I
need you to promise me something.” He says, pulling back to
meet my gaze.

“
What's
that?” I ask, scrunching my forehead in curiosity.

“
Promise
me that you will never keep this from me again.” He says,
grinding his hips forward, his still hard erection pressing firmly
against my folds.

“
Never.”
I promise, feeling my body reignite with the promise of feeling him
hard inside of me again.

“
I'm
going to hold you to that.” He smiles, leaning forward to trail
his tongue lightly across my lips, silently asking for access.

“
Good.”
I manage to get out before he takes my mouth firmly with his, kissing
me so passionately, I swear I can feel it all the way to my toes. By
the time he pulls back again, my breathing is coming in labored
spurts and my heart feels like it is ready to pound out of my chest.

“
Lo.”
He speaks against my mouth, his eyes burning deeply into mine as he
pulls back slightly.

“
Dax.”
I say his name after several seconds of silence pass by, feeling
suddenly uneasy under his glare. He hesitates for a moment longer
before finally speaking.

“
I
love you.” His soft words wash over me, the magnitude of his
statement taking several long moments to sink in.

Chapter
Twenty-Seven

Dax

“
I love you.”
I repeat again, fearing she didn't hear me the first time.

I watch the realization of my words sink in, watch her
eyes as they widen and the confusion take over her entire face.

“
What?”
She questions, her voice barely above a whisper.

“
You heard me.”
I repeat, forcing her to meet my eyes.

“
You love me?”
She phrases the question like the notion is completely foreign to
her.

I wish it didn't gut me that she finds me loving her so
hard to believe but it does. Is it because she doesn't believe that I
could actually love her or is it that she feels nothing for me which
is why she is having a hard time processing that I feel something for
her? Either way, neither scenario sits well with me.

“
I do.” I
say, reaching out to cup her face in my hands. “I didn't plan
to fall for you. Hell, I didn't even think it was possible to feel
this way again. But that's what you do to me. You make me feel things
I never thought I would feel again. You make me want things I never
dreamed I'd want. You have completely wrecked me in the best way
possible.”

“
Say something.”
I add on, seeing the inner battle going on behind her eyes, the shock
and confusion clouding her beautiful face. She opens her mouth to
speak but then hesitates, immediately closing it again.

“
You can't love
me.” She finally says after several long moments of silence.

“
I can and I
do.” I reassure her. “I have broken every single one of
my rules for you. Not because I wanted to fuck you, because I wanted
to
be
with
you.”

“
No. You don't
understand. You
can't
love
me. You
can't
.”
Her eyes glaze over and I take a small step back, suddenly fearful
that I made a huge mistake telling her this.

“
Lo?”
I question, watching her slide from the counter as she gathers her
clothing. Covering herself from my view, I try not to show what a
punch to the stomach that feels like. I don't understand why suddenly
she feels the need to hide her body from me.

Grabbing my pants from the floor, I quickly slip them
on, not wanting to have this conversation with my cock hanging out.
Lo stands there for a long moment in silence before finally speaking.

“
You
should leave Dax.” She says, beginning to put her clothing on,
her back to me the entire time.

“
What?”
I question, wishing she would just turn around and look at me. Maybe
if I could see her face, look into her eyes, maybe then I would know
if she really wants me to leave or if it's just the fear pushing me
away.

I
knew she would be scared by my confession. She has made it very clear
from the beginning where she stands on
feelings
and
relationships
.
But I never expected her to respond so coldly. Shock I expected. Fear
I expected. But I was not prepared for the fact that she may not feel
the same way about me.

Fuck. I was so sure that she did that I didn't even stop
to consider that maybe she really doesn't. Maybe I have just been
seeing what I want to see. But as soon as she turns and her tear
filled blue eyes find mine, I know that is not it at all.

Chapter
Twenty-Eight

Lo

“
I need you to
leave Dax.” I say, hating the way my chin quivers when I speak.

His eyes go from hard to soft in a matter of seconds and
I know that he can see through the barrier I have suddenly put up
between us.

“
I know you're
scared.” He starts, but I don't give him time to finish.

“
Scared?”
I question. “You have no idea what I am.” I say, fighting
back the well of tears behind my eyes.

I will not cry. I will not cry.

“
You
don't know because you don't know me... Not really.” I tack on.

“
I
do know you Lo.” He says, taking a step towards me. “I
know you better than you care to admit.”

“
You
don't know anything.” I take a step backwards, not wanting him
to come any closer to me.

If he touches me, I don't know if I will be able to hold
my shit together. I just need him to leave. I can't think when he's
standing in front of me, looking at me the way he's looking at me
right now.

“
I
know that you're terrified right now.” He says, making no
attempt to move towards me.

I try to ignore the rise and fall of his chest and the
tension in his broad shoulders as he stands shirtless in front of me.
It's hard enough to resist him clothed. Add on the rippling muscles
and his mouth watering inked skin and not rushing into his arms is
like denying myself a glass of water after two days in the hot
desert.

Absolute total fucking torture.

“
I
know that something happened to you. Something that you are still
holding onto. Something that is preventing you from letting yourself
be happy.” He continues, when I make no attempt to respond.

I'm too busy trying to keep my breathing calm and
preventing the tears from spilling down my face, that I can't find it
in me to form a coherent sentence. I am afraid if I open my mouth, my
entire facade will crumble and I can't let that happen.

“
Let
me in Lo. Let me help you. Let me love you.” He says, his
bright eyes holding my gaze, causing me to squirm under the heat of
his stare.

“
I
can't.” I finally manage to get out, though my words are weak
and barely audible. “I'm sorry Dax. I don't feel the same. This
is just a hook up. A good time. I told you that going in. I broke my
rule because I thought you were capable of handling the type of
relationship I could give you. I see now how wrong I was.” I
say, feeling the emotion thick in my throat.

“
I
don't believe that.” He says, his voice remaining soft.

“
What
don't you believe exactly Dax?” I ask, growing increasingly
frustrated with each minute that passes. Why can't he just let this
go? Why does he have to push this?

“
You
love me too Lo. I know you do. I can see it right now. I can see how
hard you are fighting against this. You want this just as badly as I
do.” He says, his confidence not wavering even the slightest.

“
You're
wrong.” I stutter, not sure what else I can do to convince him
that don't want this.

The truth is, I love Dax. I have known that fact for
quite some time now. But that doesn't change anything. I can't travel
down this road again. The moment I admit that I feel the same, that I
give into this, is the moment my guard disappears. The moment that I
become completely vulnerable to him. The moment I open myself up to
be hurt again.

I know that Dax isn't Ricky. I know that history is not
going to repeat itself in the same fashion. But that doesn't mean
that Dax won't hurt me in other ways. What happens if I tell him what
he wants to hear? What happens if I admit that my feelings match his?
We ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after? Please. Life
isn't like the story books.

Life is messy and
complicated and full of heartache.

“
I'm
sorry Dax. I don't love you.” I say, breaking the long moment
of silence hanging between us.

“
That's
bullshit and you know it.” He says, his voice rising slightly.
“Why don't you tell me the truth for once? What happened to
you? What are so afraid of?”

“
You
need to leave.” My voice shakes as I point towards my door.

“
Fuck
that.” He shakes his head, taking another step towards me and
then another, until he's standing directly in front of me, his hands
clamping down firmly around my biceps. “I'm not going anywhere
until you tell me the truth.”

“
I
don't know what you want......” I start, but Dax cuts in before
I can finish my sentence.