Tales of the Dying Earth (103 page)

The old man paused. "No danger there! If all were equally kind I should live the life of a magnate!"

'That is the usual concept. Still, we must do as best we can! What brings you out here among these lonely mountain crags?"

"Simply put, I would rather be here than out on the plain, where confusion reigns supreme. And yourself? From a distant land, so I perceive, from the rather awkward knot by which you tie your sash."

"Fashions differ," said Rhialto. "I am in fact a scholar, sent here to retrieve an important historical object."

The old man looked suspiciously sidewise at Rhialto. "Are you in earnest? I know of nothing within a hundred miles which answers that description—save perhaps the skeleton of my double-headed goat."

"I refer to a blue prism which was left in yonder cave for safekeeping, but which is not there now."

The old man made a negative sign. "My knowledge of prisms, historical or otherwise, is small. For a fact, I recall the cave before the twastics took up residence, when nothing could be seen but a crevice into the rocks."

"How long ago might this be?"

The old man pulled at his nose. "Let me calculate ... It was while Nedde still supplied my barley ... Garler had not yet taken his third wife. Still, he had already built his new barn. ... I would estimate a period of thirty-one years."

Rhialto gritted his teeth. "These twastics: what of them?"

"Most have returned to Canopus; the climate suits them better. Still, the two yonder are decent in their habits and settle their debts in good time, which is more than I can say of my own son-in-law, though to be sure I would not choose a twastic as spouse to my daughter. ... I hear them now; they are returning from a function at their social club."

A tinkling sound reached Rhialto's ears, as if from the vibration of many small bells. Up the valley road came a pair of twenty-legged creatures eight feet long and four feet high, with large round heads studded with stalks, knobs and tufts, fulfilling functions not immediately apparent. Their caudal segments rose and curled forward in an elegant spiral, and each boasted an iron gong dangling from the tip. Smaller bells and vibrilators hung in gala style from the elbows of each leg. The first wore a robe of dark green velvet; the second a similar robe of cherry-rose plush.

"Yonder go the twastics," said the old man. "As for the contents of the cavern, they can answer your questions better than I."

Rhialto watched the tinkling creatures askance. "All very well, but how should I address them?"

"They are easy in this regard; a simple 'Sir' or 'Your Honor' suffices."

Returning across the valley, Rhialto was able to intercept the twastics before they entered the cavern. He called out: "Sirs! May I put a question? I am here on an important historical mission!"

 

The twastic wearing the dark green robe responded in a somewhat sibilant voice, using sounds created by a rapid clicking of the mandibles. "This is not our customary time for business. If you wish to order any of our service gungeons, be advised that the minimum shipment is one gross."

' I am interested in another matter. You have inhabited this cavern for about thirty years, so I understand."

"You have been gossiping with Tiffet, who is more garrulous than he should be. Still, your figures are correct."

"When you first arrived, did you find a blue crystal placed in a niche above the entrance? I would appreciate candour in this regard."

"There is no reason why you should not have it. I myself discovered the blue crystal, and cast it away immediately. On Canopus, blue is considered an unfavorable colour."

Rhialto clapped a hand to his forehead. "And then: what next?"

"You must ask Tiffet. He found the trinket in the rubbish." The twastics entered the cavern and disappeared into the darkness.

Rhialto hastened back across the valley and managed to overtake Tiffet.

"Wait, sir!" called Rhialto. "Another historical question or two!"

Tiffet halted. "What now?"

"As you know, I have come far in search of an important blue prism. The twastics threw it from the cave and it seems that you rescued it from the rubbish heap. Where is it now? Produce it and I will make you a rich man."

Tiffet blinked and pulled at his nose. "A blue prism? True. I had quite forgotten it. Quite so! I took it from the rubbish heap and put it on my mantle-piece. Not a week later the taxers came from the King of all Kings, and they took the blue jewel in payment of my taxes and even rescinded the standard beating with staves, for which I was grateful."

"And the blue prism?"

"It was taken to the Royal Treasury at Vasques Tohor, or so I suppose. And now, sir, I must be on my way. Tonight we eat squash soup with cheese and I must be nimble if I am to get my share."

Rhialto once more went to sit on the stone fence and watched as Tiffet hobbled briskly around the mountain. Reaching into his pouch, Rhialto brought out the walnut shell from which stepped Osherl, now, by reason of some obscure whim, wearing a fox's mask.

The pink mouth spoke: "Well then, Rhialto! You are ready to return with the Perciplex?"

 

Rhialto thought to perceive a subtly mocking flavor to the question. He said coldly: "May I ask the source of your amusement?"

"It is nothing, Rhialto; I am naturally light-hearted."

'Try as I may, I find nothing amusing in this present situation, and in fact I wish to speak with Sarsem."

"As you wish."

Sarsem appeared across the road, still using the guise of an epicene youth clad in lavender scales. "Rhialto, you wish to confer with me?"

"I am displeased with your work," said Rhialto. "You missed the target date by something over thirty years."

"Only thirty years in five aeons? Such accuracy is far better than adequate."

"Not for my purposes. The Perciplex is not in the cave. Certain merchandisers from Canopus threw it aside. You were required to guard the Perciplex and it is now lost."

Sarsem thought a moment, then said: "I failed in my duty. No more need be said."

"Except this: by reason of your failure, you now must help me find the Perciplex."

Sarsem became argumentative. "Rhialto, you are illogical! I failed in my duty, true. Still, there is no linkage between this idea and the unrelated concept of my attempting to find the missing article. I hope you perceive your mistake, which is of a fundamental nature."

"The linkage is indirect, but real. By failing in your duty, you have incurred a severe penalty. This penalty may be partially expiated by your help in recovering the prism."

Sarsem reflected a moment then said: "I am unconvinced; somewhere I smell sophistry at work. For instance, who will apply the penalty? You are five aeons gone and no longer even real."

"Ildefonse is my stout ally; he will protect my interests."

Sarsem gave that curious croak which, among creatures of his ilk, indicated amusement. "Rhialto, your innocence is droll. Have you not recognized that Ildefonse is the leader of the cabal against you?"

"Not so!" declared Rhialto. "You refer to an occasion when he jocularly availed himself of my IOUN stones."

Sarsem looked at Osherl. "What is the truth of this?"

Osherl considered. "As of now, Ildefonse breathes fire against Hache-Moncour."

Sarsem scratched his violet nose with a silver fingernail. "Ah well, on the slight chance that Rhialto is correct, I would not have him accusing me of falsity. Rhialto, take this pleurmalion; it will show a blue spot in the sky directly above the Perciplex. Remember, in case of any inquiry—for instance, from Hache-Moncour-it came through Osherl, and not through me. Am I clear on this?"

"Certainly. Hache-Moncour has filled your mind with foolishness. If you decide to share his destiny in the hope of gaining indenture points, you will have the Wiih to deal with."

Sarsem gave a small squeak of consternation, then cried out with somewhat hollow bravado: "You have over-spoken yourself! Trouble me no further; I am bored with the Perciplex; the present version will serve until the sun goes out. As for you, Ildefonse will never notice when you fail to return. Already Hache-Moncour eclipses him in power."

"And when in fact I return with the Perciplex, what then of Hache-Moncour?"

Sarsem chuckled. "Rhialto, have I not made myself clear? Find the Perciplex as you like, glory in your achievement, then settle yourself to enjoy the radiance of the 16th Aeon, even though you will never revenge yourself against your enemies."

"What of Osherl?" asked Rhialto idly. "Will he not take me back to Boumergarth?"

"Ask him yourself."

"Well, Osherl? Are you too defiant and treasonable?"

"Rhialto, I believe that you will enjoy your life in this halcyon aeon. And so that you may start your new life free of fretful oddments and petty details, you may now finalize my indenture."

Rhialto smiled that aloof, almost sinister, smile which so often had annoyed his adversaries. From his wallet darted a black- and red-striped object like a long thin snake. "Chug!" screamed Sarsem in horror. The chug wound itself around Osherl, darted its head into one of the fox-ears, emerged from the other and tied itself in a knot across Osherl's head. Osherl was then dragged to a nearby tree and suspended by the rope through the ears to dangle three feet off the ground.

Rhialto turned to Sarsem: "Eventually I will deal with Osherl as he deserves. Meanwhile, he will assist me to his best abilities. Osherl, am I right in this? Or shall we take further steps?"

Osherl's fox-mask licked its chops nervously. "Rhialto, this is a poor response to my light-hearted badinage, and unworthy threats now hang in the air."

"I never make threats," said Rhialto. "In all candour, I am dumbfounded by Sarsem's recklessness. He totally misjudges the wrath of Ildefonse and myself. His treachery will cost him an awful price. That is not a threat; it is a statement of certainty."

Sarsem, smiling a glazed and insincere smile, faded from sight.

Osherl kicked and thrashed his legs to set himself swinging. He cried out: "Your allegations have been too much for poor Sarsem. It would have been far more graceful if—"

"Silence!" Rhialto took up the pleurmalion. "I am interested only in the Perciplex!" He searched around the sky through the tube, but the surrounding mountain-sides blocked most of the view.

Rhialto affected his boots with the Spell of Lightsome Striding, which allowed him to walk through the air, high or low, at his pleasure. Osherl looked on with growing disquiet. At last he called out: ' 'What of me? How long must I dangle here for birds to roost upon?"

Rhialto feigned surprise. "I had already forgotten you. ... I will say this. It is not pleasant to be betrayed by one's associates."

"Naturally not!" cried Osherl with enthusiasm. "How could you so mistake my little joke?"

"Very well, Osherl, I accept your explanation. Perhaps you can be of some slight assistance, after all, such as facilitating our return to Boumergarth."

"Naturally! It goes without saying!"

"Then we will resume as before." The chug dropped Osherl to the ground and returned to Rhialto's wallet. Osherl grimaced, but without further words returned to the walnut shell.

Rhialto jumped into the air; climbing to a height of twenty feet, he set off down the valley on long stately bounds, and Fader's Waft was left behind.

The valley opened upon a plain of far distances, distinguished principally by clouds of dust and smoke lowering over the northern horizon. Closer at hand, where the hills first began to swell up from the plain, Rhialto saw a number of small farmsteads each with its small white silo, round white barn, and orchard of globular blue trees. A mile or so to the west, a village of round pink houses enjoyed the shade of a hundred tall parasol palms. Details of the landscape beyond were blurs of delicate colour, until, at the horizon, curtains of dust and smoke rose ominously high.

Rhialto alighted upon a ledge of rock and bringing out the pleurmalion scrutinized the sky. To his gratification, he discovered a dark blue spot on the sapphire vault of the northern sky, in the general direction of the smoke and dust.

Rhialto replaced the tube in his pouch, and now, a hundred yards down the slope, he noticed three young girls picking berries from a 

thicket. They wore black vests over striped blouses, black pantaloons tied at the knee with black ribbons, black stockings and black shoes tied with white puffs at the ankles. Their faces were round; straight black hair was cut square across their foreheads. Rhialto thought them not ill-favored, somewhat in the manner of odd little dolls.

Rhialto approached at a dignified pace, and halted at a distance of ten yards. Always disposed to create a favorable impression before members of the female sex, so long as they were of an age and degree of vitality to notice, Rhialto leaned an arm against a stump, disposed his cloak so that it hung in a casual yet dramatic style.

The girls, preoccupied with their chatter, failed to notice his presence. Rhialto spoke in melodious tones: "Young creatures, allow me to intrude upon your attention, at least for a moment. I am surprised to find so much fresh young beauty wasted upon work so dull, and among brambles so sharp."

The girls looked up slack-jawed, then uttered small squeaks of terror, and stood paralyzed, too frightened to run.

Rhialto frowned. "Why do you tremble? Do I seem such a monster of evil?"

One of the girls managed to quaver: "Sir Ghoul, your ugliness is inspiring! Pray give us our lives so that we may appall others with the tale!"

Rhialto spoke coldly. "I am neither ghoul nor demon, and your horror is not at all flattering."

The girl was emboldened to ask: "In that case, what manner of strange thing might you be?"