Talania - a Trip Down Memory Lane... (19 page)

“They went to get you flowers, Sunshine,” Drake answers.

“Oh, well, that’s nice of them, but not necessary.”

“I think they were a little uncomfortable Sunshine,” Drake grunts.

Oh. Well, that is understandable so I shake my head in agreement.

We keep the conversation so light while were waiting for the results that I almost forget about them…almost.

When all three doctors walk in the door, I hear Evelyn gasp. I know by her reaction that this is not the kind of thing we want.

“Evelyn, do you want the room cleared out?” one of the doctors asks politely.

I suck in a breath, praying she at least lets me stay.

“No, all of them can stay unless they want to leave.” She looks around at our friends for their answers. They all shake their heads and stay firmly planted where they sit. She smiles at the show of support.

“I’m afraid it’s bad news Evelyn,” Dr. Zelanburg says apologetically as he walks over to Ev. He cradles her small, frail hands in his. Evelyn bites her lip as tears well up in her eyes. She shakes her head in understanding.

I am still trying to process the fact that its bad news and we haven’t even heard yet what it is specifically. I mentally try to brace myself for the worst possibility.

“It is in fact what we thought it would be— Acute Leukemia. It hit very rapidly. We will start Chemotherapy as soon as possible. I am going to stay in town Evelyn, so you can stay here with your family and friends. My partner is taking over my patients in Atlanta for a while so I can concentrate on getting you well again. I’m not going anywhere, do you understand?” As he delivers this damaging news, he uses one hand to rub small circles on Ev’s back. His touch seems to have a calming effect on her.

Leukemia. Leukemia. Leukemia. Leukemia. It is like a broken record in my head. I just can’t get past that thought. Then it hits me: I just got her back! I just got her back! I just got her back! I repeat this over and over in my head. I just got her back! It’s not until I feel a hand on the back of my neck that I realize I have been saying my thought out loud.

Drake tries to reassure me. “Sunshine is strong Trist. She’ll kick this cancer in the ass again.” He pats my back and pulls me into his arms.

In a panic, I pull away and start pacing the room as memories start flooding my brain in a rush.

“Tristan, you’re gonna fall!”

I look down at this beautiful girl. I am in love with her and too chicken shit to tell her. “Baby, I’m not gonna fall.” I shake the coconut tree to prove my point.

Her face lights up as I call her baby. Why am I so damn scared to tell her how I feel?

“You’re gonna fall handsome. You just wait and see,” she yells with her hands steady on the camera as she positions it.

“No, wait. I better just go ahead and record this because a picture might miss you being an idiot.”

I laugh and start shaking the tree again.

“You said you wanted a coconut, so I’m getting you a damned coconut Ev. When I promise you something, I don’t break it,” I yell in between shakes.

“Tristan—,” she warns.

Before I can tease her, the branch starts to snap, and before I can blink, I am free falling through the air. I hit the sand with a smack and Evelyn is screaming while I groan.

“I told you! Why do you have to scare the shit out of me? Huh? Do you get pleasure out of this Tristan? Do you like giving me a heart attack? I don’t ever want anything to happen to you, do you understand me? I can’t live with that Tristan, I just can’t!”

Through my groaning, I look her straight in the eyes and realize I did scare the shit out of her.

Even though I am only fifteen years old, because I am in love with her, I understand what she is saying now. We are in love and she is saying she can’t live without me. Why can’t we just tell each other what our love means?

“I’m sorry baby,” I say as I grin.

“You’re sorry?” she yells, dropping her camera to hang around her neck. She turns away from me, stomping off.

I drag myself up and chase after her. When I reach her, I wrap my arms tightly around her. The scent of her forces me to close my eyes for a minute. I open them and kiss the open spot on the back of her neck, causing her to shiver.

“I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful Ev, I promise,” I whisper into her ear.

“I can’t lose you Tristan,” she cries.

This feeling of upsetting her is like a boa constrictor wrapping tightly around my heart. I don’t like feeling this way. I just want to make her happy. I want her to know that she will never lose me as long as it is in my power to stay.

“I know baby, I know.”

As I climb back out of my memories, I realize that I am missing everything they are saying.

“First session is tomorrow Evelyn. We’re gonna keep you overnight, and then after your first treatment, you can go home,” Dr. Zelanburg finishes.

She nods and they walk out.

“What’s going on?” I croak through a throat made tight with restrained tears.

My infinity looks over at me with tears streaming down her face.

“We’re starting the sessions heavy. We have a head start, but it is a rapid case. The sessions will be grueling. I’ll be weak and I’ll lose my hair quickly.”

Who cares about her damn hair? I sure as shit don’t care about her losing her hair, so I tell her. “Evelyn, I don’t care about your hair.”

She shakes her head. “I do Tristan. I care about my damn hair. I just got it back,” she yells.

This makes me angry. Hair grows back. If it doesn’t, there are always wigs that we can get for her.

“Well, I just got YOU back, and I don’t give a shit if your hair falls out or not. All I care about is you staying alive. Do you understand that?”

She closes her eyes and that shows me that she’s about to lose it.

“I don’t care what you think Tristan. You get to keep your hair. All of you get to keep your damn hair. I get to suffer with cancer for the second time in four years. I was enjoying being cancer free and not having the tumors grow back. And all though it’s not a tumor, I still get to go through hell again. I lose my hair again. I get to spend the next upcoming weeks in chemotherapy. I get to spend my time throwing up, losing weight, and looking like I have an eating disorder. I get to spend my time sick and in an immense amount of pain!”

Does she think I won’t stick around? Does she think that I am going to allow her to go through this alone? I take a step back and take in a few breaths, trying to calm myself before I explode. “If you think I’m letting you go through this alone, you’re wrong. I’m not leaving your damn side!” I ground the words out through my closed lips.

She rolls to her side and I know she’s finished talking about it right now. I need to get out of here. I feel myself ready to blow. I need to blow off some steam, but more importantly, I need to call her father.

“I’ll be back,” I whisper, laying my hand on the back of her head and turn to walk out.

The words that my infinity speaks next take me almost physically to the floor.

“See? You’re already leaving,” she whispers as she cries.

I rush over to her and lean my forehead against hers.

“I’m just leaving the room to call your father. I am not actually leaving you baby. Please understand this.”

I feel tears falling from my eyes. I don’t want to lose it in here, but it looks like I might not have a choice.

“You’re not going to want me when I look like hell and have no hair Tristan. Trust me,” she whispers, closing her eyes.

You have got to be freaking kidding me. My poor girl thinks I care about what she is going to look like.

“I don’t care if you get to be ninety pounds and bald. You could break out in polka dots and grow warts on your face. I will still love you all the same. You’re my infinity baby,” I whisper.

Evelyn chokes up in laughter. “If you say so.” She gives me her special smile that lets me know I am her infinity too.

“I do say so. So, is it okay if I go call your father now, or do you need me to stay for a bit longer?”

Her beautiful chestnut eyes open back up. “You can go call my father now,” she whispers.

Thank God! “All right baby. I love you to infinity,” I whisper as my lips graze her tear-covered eyes.

I slowly lean up and walk backwards, and as I turn around, I hear the words that mend my heart.

“I love you too, my infinity,” she whispers back.