Taking Him (Lies We Tell) (26 page)

Shock crossed her face. “I what? Don’t be ridiculous. I never did—”

“You manipulated me. You lied to me. You did things to me I didn’t want. You abused me.”

Liz paled. But her red mouth still curved in a smile. “Abuse? Don’t be silly, darling. That’s not what happened at all and you know it. You wanted it just as much as I did. Haven’t you forgotten?”

“No. I haven’t forgotten. Just like I haven’t forgotten how I told you no. Or how you didn’t listen.”

She gave a funny, high, shrill little laugh. “It almost sounds like I forced you, Hunter. And we both know I didn’t do that. Oh no, you kept coming back for more.”

Once that would have made him crawl with inexplicable shame. But now he felt…Christ, he almost felt sorry for her. “Because I was sixteen, Liz. Because I was a kid who’d been manipulated into thinking he was in love. By a sad, desperate, thirty-eight-year-old woman.”

Fear flickered over her face. Then it was gone, replaced by contempt. “I wasn’t desperate, sweetheart. You were the one who was desperate.”

All the anger and shame had fallen away from him now. He could see the lines around her eyes, the powder that had settled into them. The age spots on her hands. The mascara that had started to flake away from her eyelashes. A stain of lipstick on her teeth.

She looked sad. And old. And frightened. Clinging to her youth any way she could.

“You were lonely,” he said softly. “Weren’t you?”

The contempt had vanished from her eyes, revealing her desperation. She took a little step forward. “You understand then? Your father never paid me much attention and you were so handsome.” She put her hand on his arm. Just lightly. “The way you looked at me made me feel beautiful.”

A part of him felt sorry for her. For her loneliness. But it was only a small part. Because there was no excuse for what she’d done to him. None at all.

“Loneliness doesn’t excuse your behaviour. If you’d wanted a lover, you should have found one your own age,” he said. “An adult. Not a child.”

Her fingers stroked him, a sensual movement. “Oh come on,” she murmured. “You weren’t a child. You were a man. You got hard, Hunter. I was there, remember?”

“Just because I was hard doesn’t mean I consented.” Because he knew the difference now. Ellie had shown him.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You wanted—”

“No,” he said interrupted forcefully. “I didn’t want what you did to me. I didn’t want your touches. I didn’t want your kisses. I didn’t want them then and I don’t want them now. I
never
wanted them. Understand? Never, ever. Now take your filthy hand off my arm.”

For a second the polished, beautiful mask slipped, her expression twisted with anger and fear. “So is that why you’re here, sweetheart?” she spat, her fingers dropping away. “To say your affecting little piece? Your little confession?”

He almost smiled. “Actually there’s just one other thing.”

“Oh?”

“Don’t you ever fucking touch me again.”

She laughed. Brittle. Sharp. “Is that it?”

Yeah, that was it. He smiled at her, then he turned around and went back down the garden path.

“Hunter.” Her voice was like cut glass. “Hunter, stop.”

But he didn’t.

Because he’d gotten what he’d come for. He did know what love was. And it wasn’t anything to do with the angry, bitter, lonely woman calling his name. Or the shame or the guilt or the dirty endless desire.

Love was what he’d come home to whenever he opened Ellie’s door. Love had been what he’d seen in her face whenever she looked at him. Had been the warmth in his heart whenever he’d held her in his arms.

That was love. And it made what he’d felt for Liz seem a shadow. A facsimile. The faintest, most blurred of copies.

No wonder he felt nothing when he looked at Liz. His heart wasn’t here.

Ellie had taken it with her when she left.

Chapter Fourteen

Ellie hated goodbyes. The check-in process had been great in that it had completely taken her mind off the fact that in fifteen minutes she was going to have to walk through the gates and leave behind the life she’d once had. Leave Vin. And Kara.

And Hunter.

But no, if she started thinking about Hunter she would break. She would grab the nearest cab and go straight to his house and fling herself into his arms and tell him she’d stay. She’d give up everything for whatever he wanted to give her.

And that was something she couldn’t do no matter how much she wanted to.

She had her pride. And she had strength. A job she wanted to take. A life she needed to find. And okay, if he didn’t love her, she would cope. She wouldn’t break.

Vin stood near the departures area with his hands in the pockets of his jeans as she finished with the check-in and came for the final goodbye. The look on his face was grim, his jaw way too tight. Kara had come out of the shop she’d been browsing in as soon as Ellie appeared, grinning away. And given the grin it might have looked as if she was excited and pleased to see her off if not for the fact that her mascara had started to run.

“Don’t cry,” Ellie said to her thickly. “Don’t you dare freaking cry.”

“Are you kidding? I never cry.” Kara stepped up and wrapped her arms around her in a monster hug. “Go get ‘em, babe. You’re going to bring Tokyo to its freaking knees.”

Ellie choked back the tears, squeezing her friend tight. “You have to come visit, okay? Promise me?”

“Hey, just try keeping me away. I’m going to need an excuse for a manga field trip in a week or two, I just know it.” She released Ellie, taking a few steps back, one hand swiping under her glasses and getting melting mascara everywhere.

Ellie swallowed hard then turned to her brother. “You remember what you promised me?”

The expression on Vin’s face was taut with emotion. “Yeah,” he said in a rough-sounding voice. “I remember.”

“Good. Now gimme a hug.”

Her brother swept her up into an embrace that nearly cracked her in two. Ellie squeezed back. Hard as she could. “I’ll be okay, Vin,” she whispered in his ear. “I really will.”

Vin released her finally, looking down at her as he stepped back. “I know,” he said. “You’ve always been okay, haven’t you?”

Tears filled her eyes. “Thanks to you.”

He blinked at that and looked away. “Go on, get on that bloody plane.”

Yeah, she’d better, otherwise she was going to be a complete mess.

Bending, she picked up the backpack and jacket she was going to take with her. And as she did so, she couldn’t help looking toward the airport entrance, searching for the one person she knew wouldn’t be there and yet quite desperately wanted to be.

He hadn’t rung her. Hadn’t contacted her. Not even a text. And she couldn’t pretend that hadn’t hurt. Couldn’t pretend she hadn’t cried her eyes out in the ladies’ loo of the pub they’d all gone out to for farewell drinks the night before.

But maybe that was all for the best. A clean break and shit like that.

“Well,” she said with a jauntiness she didn’t feel. “I guess this is goodbye, guys.”

“Ring me when you get to Tokyo,” Vin said gruffly.

“And I want pics of you in the Harajuku district,” Kara added.

Ellie’s ability to speak had vanished. She just nodded. Smiled.

Then turned and went through the gates without looking back.

Hunter watched her leave from the safety of an airport shop. He’d wanted her to have this goodbye with Vin and Kara without him there distracting her. Though it was hard to see her choke back her tears. Hard to see her lift her chin, smile and walk away from her friend and brother, knowing how she must be hurting.

She had so much strength. So much determination. It made him doubt what he was doing a little because he was taking a risk here. A very big risk. But then he knew that’s what he had to do. Love was about risk, wasn’t it? And if he couldn’t take a risk for her, then he had no business being here in the first place.

Still, he hadn’t been unhappy to see her cast a surreptitious look toward the entrance as if looking for someone. Him, hopefully.

Across the departure hall, he saw Kara give Vin an odd, strangely loaded glance. Then she turned and walked away, Vin watching her, an impenetrable look on his face. Something was clearly going on there, but right now, he didn’t have the time to figure out what it was.

He had other things to do.

Like talking to Vin.

His hands tightened on the strap of his backpack as he walked slowly out of the shop. He didn’t immediately approach his friend, just stood there. And soon enough Vin spotted him. The guy stopped dead, a wary, hostile look on his face.

Well, that was better than blind fury.

“You’re too late,” Vin said flatly. “She’s gone.”

“I know. I saw.”

“What do you mean you saw?”

“I watched you guys say goodbye to her from that shop over there.”

“You didn’t think you’d come and say goodbye yourself?” Vin’s blue gaze sparked with anger. “You selfish asshole. She was looking for you. Last night at the pub too. I wouldn’t have thought you’d let me get in the way of coming to say goodbye.”

“I didn’t.” Hunter met his friend’s gaze unflinching. “But I wanted you two to have your own goodbye without me around.”

Vin didn’t say anything. He looked away, hands in his pockets, shifting on his feet. Obviously uncomfortable. “So what are you doing here then?”

“I’m catching a plane.” Hunter left it a beat. “To Tokyo.”

The other man’s attention snapped back to him. “What?”

“You heard me. I’m going to Tokyo.” He took a breath. “I’m going after her, Vin.”

Vin became very still. “Why?” he demanded.

It felt raw and new, and the words were difficult to say because he’d never really said them to anyone else. But his friend deserved to know the truth. “Because I love her.”

“Jesus,” Vin muttered. “You sure as hell didn’t love her when you kicked her out of your house.”

“I didn’t kick her out. She left because she wanted more than I was able to give at the time.”

“What? And now you are?”

Hunter supposed he couldn’t blame Vin’s skepticism. “I went to see Liz,” he said after a moment. “I had to figure out what it was I felt for her. Face her, I guess.”

Vin’s blue eyes flickered. “God, Hunt.”

Hunter lifted a shoulder. “She doesn’t matter to me anymore. Seeing her made me realise that the only person who does is Ellie. So I booked a ticket yesterday. It’s one-way.”

“One-way? You’re not coming back?”

“Not unless it’s with her.”

His friend stared fiercely at him for one long minute and Hunter met his gaze, letting him see the truth. “I meant what I said you know,” Vin murmured. “If you hurt her again, I’ll kill you.”

Hunter stared back. “Same goes for you, buddy.”

A moment passed where neither of them said anything.

Then abruptly Vin let out a breath, his shoulders loosening. He scowled. “Shit. So what the hell am I supposed to do with the business?”

Ellie sat miserably in her seat, gripping onto the armrests as the plane lifted off the runway and into the air. She refused to look out the window. Didn’t want to see the ground disappearing. Her life being left behind. She’d been looking forward to leaving for so long, yet now she actually was, she didn’t want to go.

Stupid. She was stupid. She had to go. Had to get out and find a new life for herself away from her brother. Away from Hunter. And if that hurt, well, she’d just have to live with it.

As the plane began to level off and the unfasten seatbelt signs came on, Ellie reached for her e-reader, wanting to immerse herself in a book for a while, forget about things.

“Excuse me, Miss Fox?”

It took Ellie a moment to realise the stewardess was talking to her, not being used to being called Miss Fox.

“Uh, yeah, that’s me.”

The stewardess beamed at her. “You’ve been upgraded. If you’d like to follow me please, I’ll direct you to your new seat.”

“Upgraded?” Ellie repeated blankly.

“Yes. To First Class.”

Holy crap. First Class? “But…uh, I don’t have air miles or anything.”

“Oh no. Your seat has been paid for. Please follow me.”

Paid for? By whom? But there was no time for questions, the stewardess already starting to turn away. Scrambling around for her belongings, Ellie then followed the woman down to the middle of the plane and then up a short flight of stairs to the upper deck.

Jesus, a whole other deck.

Ellie tried not to stare, feeling suddenly very conspicuous in her narrow black jeans and biker boots. At least more conspicuous than normal. The chains on her belt jangled, making several business types cast frowns in her general direction.

Eventually the stewardess stopped and gestured Ellie toward a couple of seats. But it wasn’t till she approached that Ellie realised one was already occupied.