Taking Chances (33 page)

“No.” He
snorted, shook his head and looked towards the other tables before back to me,
“I don't know how you never seemed to realize this, but I was madly in love
with you Harper.”

“I did know
that.” I said softly.

“I've never
loved anyone that way, I know it was early in our relationship, but I knew I
was going to marry you someday. I've dated plenty of girls, and held long
relationships with a few, but none that ever could be compared to you. That's
not something you just move on from, no matter how badly I want to.” He took a
deep breath as his face fell and stayed silent for a while, “I still can't see
my life with anyone but you. I still love you Harper, baby included.”

Why did he have
to say these things to me? This would be a bad conversation to have at any
time, but now, after what just happened with Chase, it's dangerous. If I didn't
put an end to this conversation now, I'd be running into Brandon's arms in just
a couple minutes. I can't give in to the white knight syndrome, not that a relationship
with him would ever be that. I love Brandon. But I hurt him to be with Chase,
and now Chase hurt me. I can't just go back to Brandon because Chase dismissed
me. I'd be like a ping pong ball, bouncing back and forth to whoever is most
convenient at that time.

“I love you
too. I hope to someday marry someone as amazing as you. You are going to make
someone extremely happy Brandon, and I'm sure I'll hate her because she got
you.” I smiled at him softly, “My reason for moving to San Diego was to get
away from my life and to find out who I am, and I haven't even given myself the
chance to do that. I met you just weeks after moving here and fell in love with
you instantly, I was afraid my feelings for you were so strong only because you
were my first kiss, first boyfriend, and first love...but we both know that's
not it. What we had, was something rare. I screwed that up and almost
immediately went into a relationship with Chase. I need to find out who I am
outside of a relationship, before I can ever attempt another one. And you need
to find someone who will treat you better than I did. You need to move on
Brandon.”

I got out of
the booth and pulled my purse straps onto my shoulder. Brandon stood too and
hesitantly brought me in for a long embrace. I tried to memorize the feel of
his warm arms around me, his muscled chest moving against my head with every
breath he took.

“In order to
start this, I need to stop running from everything and everyone. Can you please
take me home? I need to talk with Mom and Dad, and confront Chase. If he's even
there.”

Brandon's smile
was sad when he let me go and led me out of the restaurant. Other than a quick
call to Konrad to see if he could catch a ride with him after he dropped me
off, the ride to Mom's was silent. It wasn't completely uncomfortable, we were
both just too lost in our own thoughts to even try to have a conversation.
After pulling into the drive and getting out of the car, Brandon scrounged
around the back until he found my phone and handed it back to me. We were still
silent for the few moments we stood there glaring at Chase's truck before
heading towards the front door.

“Will you
promise me something Harper?”

“That really
depends on what it is.” I answered honestly.

His sexy smirk
was back for a second before his face grew serious, “If you guys move past
this, please don't go back to him just because he's the father.”

I looked deep
into his green eyes and hoped he saw the truth in my response, “I promise.”

“I'll wait out
here for Konrad, I don't think it would be a good idea for me to see Chase
right now.”

“Thank you for
everything Brandon, I'll see you later.” I hugged him and let him cup my face
for a few moments before walking in the door.

“Harper?!”
Bree's concerned voice reached me before I saw her round the corner and crush
herself to me, being careful not to touch my stomach, “I've been so worried
about you.”

“Wasn't Brandon
talking to you?”

“Yes, but
that's not the same.” She pulled away and I noticed her tear streaked face.

“I'm sorry
Bree, I really just needed time to myself for a while.”

“I understand.”

Konrad came up
behind her and kissed her on the cheek, then pulled me into a soft hug and
kissed the top of my head. “Is he outside?” I nodded, “I'll take him back then,
I'm sorry this is happening Kid.”

I lightly
laughed, “You know, since I'm having a baby, I'm not sure you can keep calling me
Kid. Besides you're only two months older than me.”

Bree and Konrad
both rolled their eyes at my failed attempt to lighten the mood. They kissed
quickly and she grabbed my hands as he walked out the door. “You ready, or do
you need more time? He won't bother you if you do.”

“No, I need to
do this.”

We walked into
the living room, and I almost chickened out when I saw Chase sitting on the
couch. He lifted his head when he heard us come in and started to stand but
Robert held him down. His eyes were puffy and red, and his cheeks were still
wet. Robert tried to smile warmly at me, but it came out more of a grimace, and
Claire looked like a wreck. She wrapped her arms around me and began crying. It
took me a minute, but after recounting Bree's worry that I wouldn't come back,
I realized why everyone else was upset too. Mom and Dad thought I would leave
and take their grandchild with me.

I squeezed her
waist and whispered so only she could hear me, “I won't take your grandson away
from you Mom, promise.”

“Oh honey, I'm
glad for that, but that's not what I'm worried about. I'm hurting for you
Harper, I love you as if you were my own daughter.” She kissed my cheek, then
the three of them left, leaving Chase and I alone in the room.

“Baby –”

“Don't. Call.
Me. That.” I hissed through gritted teeth.

“Harper please,
I messed up.” A choked sob escaped and his tears started falling harder. “I
don't remember anything, you have to believe that I wouldn't do that to you.”

“Why her Chase?
The one person I hate! How could you do this to me? How could you do this to
our baby?!” I fell into a chair near me and kept my eyes on him.

“I didn't. I
mean I don't know, I don't remember anything! I was at the party and the next
thing I know I'm waking up to Breanna and Konrad screaming at me and Trish is
in my bed with me. But I swear I wouldn't touch her, I wouldn't touch anyone. I
love you!”

So the tramp
got back in his bed after we all left, completely distraught? Classy. “You
really expect me to believe this? You
know
how I feel about her Chase,
and then you invite her to a party I just happen to not be at? Everyone thinks
you came back to me last night, and yet she walks out of your room this morning
wearing your shirt and you were practically naked in the bed?”

“I didn't
invite her, she invited me over again and I told her no with the excuse of the
party. I didn't know she was going to show up.”

“Why did you
have to have the party as an excuse? Why can't I be excuse enough? You should
have told her a long time ago that she needed to stop, that you were in a
relationship and going to be a father and her flirting with you wasn't okay!
Instead, you let her continue to flirt with you and invite you over to her
place in the middle of the night. When I was around she would be hanging off
your arm, and you think I'm going to believe that you didn't sleep with her
when I
wasn't
around?”

“I thought she
was gay! But I wouldn't sleep with her baby you have to believe me!”

“You're still
sticking with that? That is exactly why I don't believe you, you can't even
tell me the truth when you know I've seen the pictures.”

His face fell,
and eyes grew wide, “What pictures?” He whispered horrified, when I didn't
answer he shot off the couch, his deep voice so loud I almost covered my ears,
“WHAT PICTURES HARPER!?”

“Come on Chase,
they were taken with
and
sent to me from your phone.”

He yanked his
phone out of his pocket and checked it for a minute, “I don't see anything.” He
mumbled.

I powered up my
phone and waited for it to stop chiming from the dozens of texts and voicemails
I'd received from Chase, Bree and Mom. When they were done I opened the texts
from Chase and scrolled through the ones he had sent me after waking up this
morning, until I got to the pictures. I held my phone out and waited for him to
come get it. He took it with a shaking hand and after a moment that felt like a
lifetime sucked in a sharp gasp.

“Oh God. No.
No, no I wouldn't.” His legs gave out and he hit the ground hard.

“Well, you
obviously did.” My voice was shaky, but I kept myself calm.

“I don't
remember this, I wouldn't do this to you! You know I love you!”

“Maybe you were
just that drunk.”

“I didn't drink
last night, I swear! Ask Bree!”

“Chase,” my
voice was low, almost soft, “just stop lying to me.”

“I'm not
lying!” He scooted closer to me and placed his hands on my thighs, “Please
believe me!”

I removed his
hands and took a deep breath, “Chase, if you still want to be in the baby's
life, I would love that. But I can't continue to be in this relationship, besides,
we both know it has been doomed from the beginning.”

“No it hasn't!”

“I can't trust
you Chase. Especially after this.”

“Harper. We.
Are not. Breaking up.” He gripped my hands in his, his whole body shaking. “I
was going to propose to you after graduation tomorrow!”

I recoiled at
the thought of him asking me to marry him while he'd been cheating on me. “We
need to.” I continued, “You obviously still want to live your old life, and I
need to not have to worry about what you're doing when I'm not with you.”

“I don't want
my old life! I don't want anything without you! You are my everything Harper.
You and our baby are my everything.” His head fell into my lap while his body
was overtaken by sobs.

I sat there
silently and ran my fingers through his shaggy blond hair until he calmed down
and looked back up into my face, “Maybe sometime later, after you've had a
chance to think about what you really want, we can give us a shot again.”

“Princess
please,
please
don't do this. I can't lose you.”

“You don't have
to,” I whispered, “we can remain friends, you can be at all the appointments
and I will continue to live here if that's what you want. But Chase, you have
just shattered my heart, over what will probably only be one night with Trish.
Because of that, I can't be yours right now. I can't be the naïve girlfriend at
home with a baby, while you're off with other women.”

“I won't be, I
only want you.”

I sat there a
moment, concentrating on deep breaths in and out, “It's going to take a lot for
me to believe you again Chase, but I'm willing to give you the opportunity to
earn my trust again. We're going to have to start over as friends though.”

“I don't want
to be your friend Harper!”

“It's that or
nothing Chase.” I tried to keep my tone composed for the both of us.

“Baby I'm so
sorry. I promise I wouldn't have done that to you, I don't remember anything
from last night.”

“I told you,
I'll give you a chance if you want it. But I need a few days before we can try
to be friends. I really – I'm hurting Chase, I feel like you just confirmed
every fear I've ever had of being in a relationship with you. And I'm still not
sure how to begin to deal with this.”

He kissed me
firmly, and cupped my face, “I will get to the bottom of whatever happened. I
love you Harper, more than you could ever imagine.” He brought his mouth to
mine again, and I let our lips move against each other for a few moments. I
couldn’t help it, I didn’t know if or when we would have this again.

Chase's phone
rang, snapping us out of the moment. He started to press ignore, but did a
double take and answered, “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?! DO YOU HAVE ANY
IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!” He stormed off into the kitchen, face bright red from
anger, “No! You just ruined my life, do you understand that?! Don't fucking
apologize to me! Harper is the only person you should be apologizing to, but
understand that if you
ever
contact her, or me for that matter, again, I
will make the rest of your life a living hell!” He ended the call and threw his
iPhone against the wall, shattering the case and sending pieces towards me. “Oh
God, Harper. I'm sorry!”

I shrunk into
the chair when he came near me, he still looked like he was about to kill
someone. When he saw my movements, his face fell, his anger quickly fading.

“I have to go,
before I mess this up more.” He brushed his knuckles along my jaw, “I'm sorry
for everything. I can't say that enough Harper, I'm so, so sorry. Please don't
end us though, I will earn your trust again somehow, just don't do this.”

“Don't make
this harder for either of us, you know how I feel. Let's give it a few days,
and we'll see if we can start again as friends. No matter what happens to us
Chase, I want you in his life.”

“I love you
Princess.” With tears falling freely from his eyes, he kissed me quickly and
walked out the door.

I
didn't realize
it was over and people were gathered around us until Bree pulled me up so I was
now standing. We looked at each other, not knowing what to say, not knowing
what to do. Mom was gripping both of our hands like a lifeline while Dad was
standing behind her, holding her upper arms tight enough to support her. Some
of their extended family came up and we all broke apart to accept hugs from
them. I didn't know who most of them were, though they all knew me. There
wasn't a dry eye in the church anyway, but when they looked down, or placed a
hand on my stomach, new rounds of hysterics would burst out of them. It seemed
too much to bear to everyone that I was holding the only piece left of him in
this world. Chase.