Taking Chances (7 page)

“You OK?” I asked.

“No,” he said, running his hands through his hair. He was slouched over the banister, not looking at anything in particular. I went out and stood next to him.

“You can’t go around punching people all the time, you know,” I said giving him a slight jab with my elbow.

“Yeah, I know,” he said seriously. I guessed I wasn’t lightening the mood any. Then he said, “But I can dream about it.” I laughed.

“I think I’ll dream about it too.” I patted his arm and went back in. He’d be fine. He was dealing with his own demons and trying not to show it, but they came out tonight. No matter how long he had known his marriage was over, now was the moment it had come to fruition. It would be hard on him too, just like me.

I went to bed and put out the lights but didn’t fall asleep until I heard that Harvey was on the sofa bed. Then I drifted off into dream after fitful dream. I tossed and turned and must have done so right off the bed because I woke up as my body hit the floor. I had fallen off the bed, and I moaned in a half asleep stupor. I heard Harvey calling my name, and he helped me up off the floor.

“Are you OK?” he asked.

“Um, yeah, yeah, I think so. I don’t even know how that happened,” I mumbled.

He sat on the edge of the bed next to me. The warmth of his legs seeped into my own legs, and I panicked.

“Go back to sleep,” I said. “I’m fine.” I hurried back under the covers, and Harvey shuffled back to his sofa bed. The clock next to my bed said 5:47 AM, and I couldn’t fall asleep again after that. Around seven, I gave up trying and went down to the beach to take a walk.

It was refreshing and soothing to stroll along the shoreline. I picked up the prettiest shells, watched a few crabs find their way to their sandy homes, and saw a man and woman walking as I did. She hung onto his arm and they were both smiling, obviously in their own romantic bubble. I was jealous— so jealous of her.

Up in the room, Harvey was in the shower, and I sat on the bed waiting for him to finish. When he walked out, again in his towel, I said, “Breakfast?” I focused my gaze above his neck.

He stopped for a moment, not expecting to see me, and then grinned. “Yes.”

We ate breakfast there at the restaurant, not caring if we ran into our spouses. Which we did. I was taking a bite of my omelet when I saw them walking in. I kicked Harvey and pointed to them. They hadn’t seen us yet, but we sat there watching them. Greg and Natalie sat down and said nothing to each other. They ordered their food without consulting each other or discussing their order. Not one word. When the food arrived, they ate in silence. By then our own food was cold. Greg got up, having finished his meal, and then he saw us. He walked over to the table, my body tensing up.

“Shit,” I said under my breath before he reached us.

“Hi,” Greg said, and then he put both hands up in front of him as a sign of non-confrontation. “I just wanted to tell you I’m on a flight home in a couple of hours, and I’m on my way out.” He was looking at me, and I could tell he too had not slept. He was sad, and I almost reached out to hug him at that moment. I felt a kick from Harvey, and I knew that I’d been on the brink. It would have led to us talking, maybe me giving Greg another chance. I hoped not.

“OK,” I said, “I guess you’ll be hearing from my lawyer.” He stared at me for a few seconds and then walked away, his shoulders down from their usual erect nature. I felt my eyes stinging then, and I went outside, forgetting Harvey and the rest of my breakfast. This was hard, and it wasn’t getting any easier. I’d feel this way until the divorce was finalized, but I couldn’t do that from St. Thomas.

I was out there for a while when Harvey came to find me.

“Natalie’s going home too,” he said. “She tried to apologize, but I told her that apologies mean nothing to me in this situation. We should have separated a while ago, and she agreed. She said the reason she hadn’t said anything before is because she thought we could fix it with a baby. Do you know how fucked up that is? I told her that, and she started crying. Take your tears elsewhere, I said, because you created this whole mess.”

“I don’t even recognize her anymore. I can’t believe how deceived we’ve been by them.”

“The good news is that they’re leaving. St. Thomas will be ours soon, and we won’t have to worry about running into them.”

“That’s true,” I said, trying to break out of the sadness threatening to overcome me again.

“That means we’re taking this vacation back. We had it, right? We were having fun, and then last night and this morning we got off track, but that’s it. They’re gone, and we can do this.” I loved his pep talk, and honestly, it was working— more so because he did that staring thing again, and I was watching his hazel eyes sparkle in the sun.

“OK!” I said clapping my hands, getting into the spirit. “What are we doing? Skydiving? Bungee jumping?” Obviously, I wouldn’t do either, but I was trying to prepare myself for whatever was coming.

He lifted an eyebrow and gave me a half smile. “I was thinking more like chilling on a party boat or something.” I laughed and nodded.

S
oon we were
on a catamaran with a bunch of other people heading to a reef to go snorkeling. It was a tad more adventurous than “chilling”, especially since I was nervous of what was hiding in the deep ocean. I’m sure Harvey could tell because he kept asking if I was OK when I started putting on the life vest. Like I said before, I was a fraidy-cat for most things, but I was proud of what I did with the zip line.
Doing a bit of snorkeling shouldn’t be a big deal
, I told myself. I told this to Harvey, who reassured me it would be great fun. People went into the water, jumping off the side or going down the ladder off the back of the boat.

Harvey and I decided we’d jump, which we did, and I plunged myself into an underwater world of colorful fish and coral. It was a world tinged blue, and it was enchanting. Harvey took my hand, and we both kicked towards the reef to get a closer view. We even saw a small shark that surprisingly didn’t send me screaming back to the boat. The thing that did it was a jellyfish I saw just a hair too late, then my head was above water, and I was freaking out. I wasn’t even sure if I’d touched it, but it had been right next to me. I swam back to the boat as fast as I could and reached the ladder. When I climbed out there was a burning sensation on my left outer thigh. Then I noticed a growing welt. It was about two inches long and it hurt like hell. Harvey was right behind me, and I climbed up the entire way taking off the fins, mask, and the vest.

“Damn,” he said, bending to look at the sting up close.

“Oh, it hurts,” I said in a whiny voice.

“Am I gonna have to pee on it?” he asked, worried. “I will if it’s that bad.” I considered his offer but was about to refuse when one of the tour operators came over with a spray bottle.

“Use this, it will help with the stinging,” the tour guide said. I’d never been so grateful to a perfect stranger. The liquid didn’t take it away, but it made it more bearable.

“I can still pee on it if you want,” Harvey said, this time looking much more amenable to it since he knew it was not a real possibility anymore.

“I think I’ll take one of those instead,” I said pointing to fruity cocktails that were being passed out. He promptly retrieved one for each of us, and I drank it fast through the colorful straw, hoping the alcohol numbed me from the pain. The first one did little, but the second one hit the spot.

“I think the spray just takes time to work,” I said to Harvey. We were standing at the front of the catamaran under the shade.

“Mhmm. I’d say the rum is doing the job,” he said tapping my cup. Just then the music started, and the party part of the excursion began. The tour guide got on a microphone and started the fun by playing a few coordinated dances, teaching those of us that weren’t familiar with the moves. While I remembered most of them, I was surprised to see that Harvey knew more than me, and he was good. Very good. He moved his hips so well he could have been doing the instructing, and I loved watching him. Then we were doing the limbo, and I’d forgotten my jellyfish sting. There was a woman jumping up and down, yelling every time the music hit the refrain, and dancing like a wild woman around the entire boat. Every time she came by us, Harvey and I danced with her, but I don’t think we ever matched her energy. We noticed her husband was sitting, sipping on his drink, and enjoying the show.

“I wonder how often he has to watch her be the life of the party, while he watches,” I said.

“I guess opposites attract,” he said, throwing back the rest of his drink. Harvey and I had been dancing as part of the group, with everyone spread out, but then salsa music started playing, and couples formed. While I hadn’t danced much salsa, I knew the basic moves, and I grabbed Harvey’s arms to show him the little bit my mom had taught me. He followed along well, and we were watching the others that were more experienced, trying to copy their moves. We did a few turns, sometimes getting tangled in each other’s arms and laughing until we tried again. I was having such a good time I forgot where I was, why I was there, and what had happened this past week.

The dancing continued, and the alcohol was doing its thing for real now. It was in my head, and I wanted to dance sexy— so I did. My hips were moving, and they were in Harvey’s hands. I was dancing with my body touching his from head to toe. We swayed together, the music guiding our every step and gyration. I doubted I’d ever danced so sensually in all of my life.

The sun was setting, and the mood had changed. There were several couples dancing still, but others were sitting and watching the sunset off the side of the boat. I pulled away from Harvey and fanned my face, hoping it wasn’t as red as it felt.

“I think I need water,” I said. He cleared his throat and walked towards the bar to bring me some. I drank as much as I could so I wouldn’t have to say anything.

“Look at that,” Harvey said, breaking the ice. I followed him to the railing where we watched a colorful sunset. Just when I was going to gush about how much it’s meant for him to be here with me, the captain got on the microphone to thank us for joining him and the crew today. I looked back the other way and sure enough, we were a few hundred feet away from the dock. Harvey gathered our things, and I picked up my hair in a disaster of a bun to help him carry our towels and my bag.

Harvey drove us back to the hotel, and my drunken self was hoping he was sober enough to get us there. He was. I was the lightweight that was falling over herself after two drinks. When we parked the car, Harvey announced he was going for a walk, if I wanted to shower first. I agreed and made my way up to our room. This was getting to be a sticky situation, I thought to myself as I waited for the elevator. I shouldn’t have danced like that with him. It might have given him the wrong idea. Or maybe the right idea.
No, Audrey!
Stop it
.

My skin was on fire. I didn’t even bother looking at myself in the mirror before I got in the shower, but I did afterward, and boy was I red. The bathroom was fogged up, and I walked out to the full-length mirror by the bed and stared at the red marks outlining where I had worn the bikini. I’d need aloe and lots of it. Just as I was getting into the bathroom again, I heard the door open. Phew, that was close. I tried to imagine what I would have done had Harvey caught me in my birthday suit staring at myself in the mirror. The thought made my skin heat up more, and I jumped in the shower again for a quick, cool rinse.

“Are you hungry?” He called out when I turned the shower off.

“Yes!” I said, finally paying attention to my grumbling stomach. I dried myself off and put on clothes.

“Hey, that looks nice,” he said as I stepped out. I was wearing a flowery tank top and a nice pair of white shorts.

“Thanks,” I said as I slipped on a pair of tall khaki wedges. I might have blushed, but with my new “tan” no one would notice.

“Let me get cleaned up, and then I’ll take you to this place the concierge told me about. I think you’ll like it,” he said with that wink again. Off he went to the shower, again not taking any clothes with him to change into.

I hurriedly applied some makeup and put mousse in my curls. I stared at a perfume bottle in my makeup bag. It had been a Christmas present from Greg because he loved how I smelled in it. I sighed and dabbed it on. Then I heard something new. Harvey was singing in the shower. And not well, I might add. He was singing a song I didn’t recognize with lyrics about a rodeo or something like that. I giggled to myself and sat on the bed, waiting for him to finish.

I suddenly realized that I didn’t have a migraine! Alcohol hadn’t beat me today. I considered trying my luck and having wine with dinner.

Out came Harvey in his towel. I tried to pretend I was occupied with something on my phone, but as soon as he walked away I watched as the too-low towel barely hung on his hips. I caught myself licking my lips and stood up. Then I paced the room, chastising myself.
Audrey, what has gotten into you? Never have you had such thoughts, not even for your husband. It’s inappropriate, and it’s wrong. What would your mother say? What would Greg say?
Not that I cared what Greg said, right?

Harvey came out looking like he’d stepped out of a travel magazine. He had a dark blue shirt with light blue flowery print on it, khaki shorts, and what I call boat shoes.

“Can you tell I’m on vacation?” He asked stretching out his arms and turning around so I could get a good look.

“Definitely,” I laughed, “but you pull it off.”
I’m sure he could pull off anything.

A short later we were walking into a loud restaurant/bar decorated with all sorts of neon signs, surfboards, and liquor bottles. And when I say loud, I mean we couldn’t even talk. People were standing next to high tops, dancing as they ate. Some went out to the dance floor to break it down and then returned to their food in intervals. The DJ was trying to hype up the crowd and bring out people to dance, and they obeyed, dancing to a mix of Top 40 while shot girls walked around.

“This is what you thought I’d like?” I asked, getting close enough for Harvey to hear me, which was a struggle since he was a good 8 inches taller.

“It’s our divorce party!” he said, and I laughed, giving him a high five. Now I got it. It was going to be that kind of night.
Well, bring it on.

I did a bit of dancing while we ate food at the high tops, but I danced by myself this time. I rolled the dice and had a drink, and soon enough we were both dancing to Rihanna and Pitbull with the rest of the crowd. It was all energy and physical stamina, and I loved sweating it out. We were keeping it a foot apart at all times, and I had a feeling that maybe Harvey was also uncomfortable with how close we’d been dancing earlier in the day. When the shot girls passed by, Harvey ordered us two each. We grabbed one in each hand, clinked them, and yelled, “Cheers!”

We were nowhere near the rowdiest at this place. I was flabbergasted at the type of dancing people around us were doing. My concern about dancing too close with Harvey would have sounded silly to those people, who were pretty much having sex in all different positions (with their clothes on). I gave Harvey several appalled looks with wide eyes. He also looked shocked, though I think he was more pretending for my sake.

It was in the early hours of the morning when we gave up— after drinking with strangers, watching two guys fight over a girl, dancing on stage in a contest (which we were shamefully eliminated from right away), and yes, even dancing a little close. It was only for seconds at a time, and I would pull away almost immediately, but the important thing is that we were both having fun. We were forgetting the rest of the world and our cheating spouses. As I stumbled outside, Harvey helped prop me up with one arm, while waving for a taxi with the other.

We were inside the taxi, and I looked over at him, glad to see that last night’s anger and frustration had disappeared. When he looked at me, I quickly gazed outside, watching the town fade away to darkness. I turned my head back to him and realized he hadn’t stopped watching me. It was strange— otherworldly, almost— but I couldn’t look away, and neither did he.

Similar to the other day, we locked eyes, and the seconds stretched out beyond what was socially acceptable. My drunken state was not helping, and I was in a heightened state of recklessness. I felt giddy, alive, and on fire as I drank in his stare. Neither one of us moved an inch, but in my mind I already had his hands all over me, ripping at the button of my shorts, and touching me through my increasingly wet panties. I was praying he couldn’t read my mind— what a shock he would have gotten.

I turned my face away, feeling ashamed, and rested my head back, closing my eyes. “Everything is spinning,” I said, trying to break the spell. He shifted in his seat and handed me a bottle of water. I took it and sipped from it, if only to give me something to do besides linger in the awkwardness of the earlier moments.

He must have an inkling of an attraction for me— that much was clear in his stare, how his eyes bored into mine earlier. Clearly, it was a mixture of alcohol, rebound/revenge, and his celibacy from months past. The thought of using someone else purely for sex seemed like a wonderful idea whenever I looked at Harvey, but it would never turn out well for our newfound friendship, which I valued above everything else at the moment.

As I tried to focus what little brain power I had left on making it to the room, my phone vibrated in my purse. It was my mother calling me, which was strange since she knew it would be long distance charges. I picked up, worried and wondering what had happened.

“Mom, what’s wrong?” I said as a greeting.

“Sweetie, hi. I don’t mean to upset you. He’s fine right now, but your father had a heart attack this morning.” I froze in the middle of the hallway, holding my arm out to prop myself up against the wall.

“He’s stable now according to the doctors, but they had him in emergency surgery right after it happened,” she said and then continued to give me medical jargon and anatomy lessons over the phone. I said nothing for a good long while as she spoke in a soft tone, explaining what they’d been through in the past few hours.

“Mom, you should have called me sooner,” I said.

“I tried, sweetie, but it just went to voicemail, which I left you several. I left a message at the hotel too,” she said in that same eerily calm voice. There must not have been cellular service at the club.

“I’m going to book a flight to go there as soon as possible.” I was sobered up, and I had to continue to be so to deal with changing airline tickets and finding my way to the airport.

“He’s been sleeping most of the day, but I know he’d like to see you,” was her response. I wiped a tear away and said goodbye.

Harvey was already in the room, packing stuff. “Harvey, you don’t have to leave, too,” I said, grabbing my suitcase.

“Well, what’s the point of me staying here by myself if I’m just going to be dwelling on bad things… plus worrying about you.”

I don’t think I’d ever felt so touched. “But, you’re not coming to Harper Fields are you?” I asked, referring to our hometown.