Taking Chances (26 page)

Roz nearly broke down crying again, but held herself together, giving Clair a tight squeeze. "You are not allowed to make me cry today, Stu already managed to do that. But thank you so much. It really means a lot to hear you say that." Roz
looked at her watch, "Oh crap, I was supposed to leave ten minutes ago."

"Where are you going?" Clair asked.

"Oh, I've got someone dropping something off at the house and I'm supposed to meet them there."

Clair glanced at Alex and frowned before looking back at Roz. "Can I ride with you? I want to lie down for a while. I don't feel too good."

"I can take you," Alex said.

"No," Clair said, perhaps a little too firm. "I mean, there's no need for you to leave if Roz is going that way anyway. Plus, there are a lot of business people here. You should mingle; you never know what connections you can use in Pittsburgh." Clair looked back at Roz, "Let me just go tell my father I'm leaving. I'll meet you outside." Clair turned and walked away.

Alex opened his mouth to call her back but decided against it. He had no doubt she wasn't feeling well, it was obvious from what she said earlier and how she looked. But he also knew she was upset about him going back to Pittsburgh and that she was trying not to show it. He would see her later tonight and they could talk about it more. Alex knew somehow, he was going to find a way to work things out.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Clair

Since the engagement party, her father and Alex had been busy getting everything in order for Pittsburgh. Clair hadn
’t seen much of Alex and the time they did spend together seemed to be in the company of others. She missed their alone time but still wasn’t ready to have the conversation they needed to have whenever they were alone. Accepting extra shifts and working late every night possible were good reasons to avoid "the talk".

When she left the party the previous week, Clair had time to reflect on what her future would be like if Alex decided to go to Pittsburgh. If he stayed, he would be giving up an incredible opportunity to work with her father, and she felt like one day he would regret the decision of staying and grow resentful of her.
She wouldn't be able to stand herself if she let him make that choice.

If he decided to go, which she knew, deep down, was the right thing to do, she'd have to let him. Seeing him only on the weekends or every other week or month wouldn't be any kind of way to have a relationship. It wouldn't be fair for either of them to spend half their life waiting to see the other. No. Letting him go would be the hardest decision she'd ever have to make, but deep down, she knew it was the right choice for him.

The day had flown by. It had been their busiest day all week and Clair had been there since early that morning. The longer the day stretched, the worse she felt. The nausea wouldn't go away and even though she knew she needed to eat, she just didn't have any appetite.

Roz popped her head through the front diner door and asked, “Hey, can you get two Cokes and take them to table six for me? I’ve got to help Alex with something out here.”

Oh crap! Alex is here? When did he get here? Clair was nervous about seeing him, her anxiety level peaking at the thought of him being right outside the door. He had to know by now she was avoiding him and her stomach dropped, knowing he was just outside.

“Yeah, sure,” Clair said as she walked out from the kitchen to fill the drinks. Dizziness washed over her and she gripped the counter to steady herself. Shaking off the feeling, Clair grabbed two cups and filled them. When she started across the room, Alex caught her eye and smiled. At first, he seemed blurry and far away. Then the room started to spin and suddenly, she couldn’t hold herself up anymore. It felt as if time had slowed and the cups fell slowly from her hands as she slumped to the floor. A cool wetness seeped through her shirt, and she could see the empty cups lying on the floor beside her, before she succumbed to the blackness around her.

She heard her name and felt someone rubbing her cheek. When Clair opened her eyes, she saw Alex and Roz leaning over her; but what impressed her most was the complete silence around her. The diner had come to a standstill.

Alex brushed the hair from her eyes, “Are you all right? Did you hurt anything?”

She shook her head no. She could remember falling, but not hitting the floor.

“Clair, what happened? Did you slip?” Roz asked.

“No, I saw it happen,” Alex said. “Her eyes closed, and then she swayed back and forth, before she fell.”

“Shit,” Clair said, under her breath. “Help me up, I’ll be fine.”

“No, I’m taking you to doctor.” Roz stated.

“I’ll be fine. I probably just need to eat something, that’s why I got lightheaded. I’m fine, really, I am.”

“I’m taking you to the doctor Clair, don’t argue with me,” Roz insisted. “You’ve been sick for a couple weeks now. Something’s not right and it’s about time we go find out what it is.”

“Fine, whatever you say,” Clair said, annoyed. She didn’t like others worrying over her, but if this made Roz feel better, she’d go.

“I’ll go too,” Alex said.

“There’s no need, Alex. If it’s something serious, I’ll call you. It’s probably nothing more than a cold or something and she just needs some rest, something I know she’s not getting enough
of lately.” She looked back at Clair, “I’m taking you off the schedule for the rest of the week.”

“But you can’t—” Clair started.

“Yes, I can, and I will.” She grabbed her arm, “Alex, help me get her to my car.”

Passing out in the diner had made her weaker than she thought it would, and she had to lean against Alex to keep from falling down. He helped Clair get into the passenger seat and buckled the seatbelt around her.

He knelt down beside her, looking her over. The worry creases stretched across his forehead and Clair brushed her hand over his cheek to comfort him.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” he asked.

“I’ll be fine. You’ll just be bored waiting in the lobby anyway. Would you mind calling… my dad… and letting him know?”

“Okay, baby, I will. Call me as soon as you can.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead. Before shutting the door, he looked over at Roz. “You let me know as soon as you hear
something. If you’re not going to let me come, at least don’t keep me waiting,” he demanded.

“I will, I promise. Don’t worry,
hon, I’m sure it’s just exhaustion or a cold. We’ll be back shortly, okay?”

He nodded to Roz and looked back at Clair. He looked like he wanted to say something to her, but instead only said, “I’ll see you soon,” before he shut the door.

Clair had to fill out a ridiculous amount of paperwork. The entire time she tried to convince Roz she didn’t need to be there, blaming her fainting on being stressed and working a lot. 

“Roz, I don’t have the money for this. Can we please just leave?”

“Forget about the money, that’s not what’s important right now.”

Clair sighed and handed the paperwork back to the receptionist at the front desk.

“You can go on back and have a seat in the bench outside room two,” the woman directed her.

Clair motioned for Roz to follow her. It had been years since she had been to the doctor. She had never liked going and there was no way she was going into the back by herself.

After a few minutes of waiting, a nurse walked up to them and said, “Ms. Davidson?”

“That’s me.”

“I need you to come with me, please,” the nurse instructed.

They walked down a short hall, stopping at a door. She directed Clair to leave a urine sample in the bathroom and place it by the sink when she finished. Handing her a small plastic cup, she turned to walk away.

“Whoa, wait a minute. Why do I have to do this?” she asked. “Can’t they just give me some antibiotics to get rid of this cold?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just routine. We have to run tests before we prescribe any medications. When you’re done, come back here and we’ll take you to the lab for blood work.”

All this for a freaking cold, Clair thought. She walked into the bathroom and filled her cup as requested, setting it next to the sink. She wasn’t dumb; she knew what they were testing
for. As if I could possibly be pregnant, Clair thought as she walked to the door to leave. Her hand stilled on the doorknob and she shook her head. No, no, no. It can’t be. We used protection every time. We were always careful. Clair gasped as she remembered the morning Alex left for Pittsburgh the first time. She wanted him; told him she didn’t want to wait two weeks. If she were pregnant, it was her fault for rushing it. They were both caught in the moment, neither stopping long enough to realize the consequences of their actions. Nervous beads of sweat broke out across her forehead and she walked over to the sink. She stared at her reflection in the mirror above it, somehow knowing she didn’t need a test for confirmation… She was pregnant. The fatigue, the nausea, the cravings, or lack thereof. Clair felt like a fool for not realizing it sooner. The knock on the door caused her to jump and when she opened it, Roz was waiting for her.

“Is everything okay? You’ve been in there awhile.”

Clair nodded, “Yes, I’m fine.” She felt a sob bubbling up inside her and she bit down on her lip, trying to force it back down. But nothing could stop the tears. She shook her head violently back and forth and reached for Roz.

“I’ve messed up,” she sobbed. “It’s
all my fault. I should have known what was happening to me.” Clair looked down at the floor, her vision blurred with tears. “What am I going to do?”

Roz pulled her into her arms, holding her tight. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. You don’t know for sure, do you?”

“How did you know?” Clair mumbled against Roz’s shirt.

Roz rubbed her back, “Don’t you know by now? I usually know these things. Now come on, let’s go see what the doctor has to say.”

Clair managed to hold herself together while she talked with Dr. Moore. She was in a state of shock through most of the conversation and Clair was thankful Roz had been with her to do most the talking. All Clair could manage was a “yes” or “no” to specific questions Roz couldn’t answer.

Dr. Moore confirmed her fears. Since Clair was certain it happened about four weeks ago, the doctor guessed her due date to be around March. On their way out, they made another appointment to come back in about a month for an ultrasound, which by that time would confirm the due date by the measurement of the baby.

Roz and Clair sat silently in the car, before Roz spoke. “Clair, you’re going to get through this, you and Alex both. I’ll be there with you when you tell him if you want, but I just know he’s going to be so happy. And your dad—”

Clair burst out crying and shook her head. “No, I can’t tell him. He’ll hate me forever. It was my fault, and I will be the one who ruins his life, just like Mia. I won’t do it!”

Roz turned in her seat to face her, “He won’t hate you... he loves you. I actually think he’ll be excited to hear this. I mean, I’m sure he’ll be scared at first, but who isn’t when they find out this kind of news?
Especially when it’s unexpected. And why on earth do you think it’s your fault? The last I heard, it takes two people to make a baby.”

“I know that. I rushed things, and we just got out of control. I shouldn’t have teased him. Ugh…don’t make me go into detail about this. I’m sure you can guess what happened.”

Roz chuckled despite the seriousness of the situation. “I understand what you’re getting at, but no matter what you think, it’s not your fault. You didn’t make him have sex with you, Clair. Sometimes our emotions get in the way of our ability to make clear decisions and this was one of them. But I don’t think you should regret it. Everything happens for a reason. Don’t you think he has a right to know?”

“I don’t know. I mean yes, of course he does deserve to know, but I don’t know how he’ll take it. I don’t want this to affect his reason for staying, when he’s supposed to be leaving for Pittsburgh in a week. I will not hold this as leverage against him, making him think he has no choice but to stay here with me; it’s not fair to him. Please don’t say anything to him about this. I’ll tell him, but I have to find the right time and now isn’t it.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t agree with you,” Roz sighed. “But it’s your choice and because of that, I won’t say anything. Just don’t give me a reason to have to tell him, okay?”

“I’ll tell him soon.”

“Okay. Let’s get you home to rest. I’ll call Alex when we get there and let him know everything’s fine and you just need some rest.”

Clair nodded and dried her eyes, resting her head against the seat. Once they pulled into their driveway, she immediately
saw Alex’s Jeep. He was sitting in a chair on the front porch, waiting.

“Crap! What am I going to say to him?” Clair asked in a panic.

Alex bolted off the porch, practically running toward the car. When Clair opened the door and got out, he pulled her into his arms, exhaling as if he were relieved to see she was all right.

He pulled her back to look at her face, worry in his eyes. “Tell me what they said? Is everything okay?”

Clair pushed her way out of his arms and walked toward the house. “It was nothing. Really, I’m fine. Just a little scare, that’s all.” What else was she going to say? She knew she was lying but she didn’t want to talk about it right now. She didn’t feel like dealing with his barrage of questions. When she kept walking, Clair heard Roz talking to him behind her.

“She fainted from having low blood-sugar. Sometimes our blood gets like that when we are—”

“Roz!” Clair snapped. She corrected her tone and attempted to cover up what she thought Roz was about to tell him. “Don’t scare him. It was just low because I’m not eating regularly like I should, and it made me faint.” Technically, she wasn’t lying. That was what the doctor said.

Clair walked through the door and Roz huffed as she walked past her, “That’s what I was going to say. You need to do what the doctor suggested and get some rest and I need to get back to the diner. I’ll be home later to check on you.” She looked at Alex, “You get five minutes, then off you go… She needs to rest.”

Alex’s shoulders slumped as he sighed, “Yes, ma’am.”

When Roz left, Alex walked over to Clair, keeping a small distance between them. It was as if he were scared to touch her. She took his hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. “I’m sorry for being short with you, I didn’t mean it. I’m just tired and still a little woozy.”