Taking Chances (14 page)

“So do you really like your job? Do you ever wish you could be doing something different?” Clair asked.

“I like it. I never really thought about that line of work, but then again, I never really thought much about any career, once everything happened with my grandparents and Mia.”

“I can understand that. I never thought about a specific career either. Of course, I always hoped to be rich one day, but who doesn’t?” Clair giggled.

The effects of the alcohol were showing. She wasn’t drunk, but the alcohol seemed to be loosening her up, flushing her cheeks red, and making her more carefree than usual.

“I guess I’ll be diving into my line of work even deeper soon.  Stu’s planning a business trip for me to attend with him in about a week. He said he wants me to learn more about the business side of things. I think it will be interesting.”

“A trip? How long will you be gone?” She sat up straighter, visibly concerned.

He tucked a stray hair behind her ear.
“Only a few days. And I’m sure Roz will keep you company since Stu will be gone too.”

Clair released his hand and picked up her glass, tipping it back. She squeezed her eyes shut as she downed half its contents
in a few gulps. Looking to her lap, Clair continued to twist the fabric of her skirt between her fingers and Alex realized this was something she did when she was worried or nervous. He put his hand over hers and she looked up.

“It’s only for a few days, okay?” he reassured her again.

“I know. It’s just, I only know you and Roz here… and… it would really suck if you left and didn’t come back. You’ll come tell me goodbye before you leave, won’t you?”

He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. “I’m not leaving, except for a few days. And I wouldn’t dream of leaving without seeing you first.”

Clair leaned her head against the back of the couch and crossed her legs. With her eyes closed, she said, “I’m just going to have to trust you on that.”

Alex watched her, wondering what happened in her past to make her so insecure and unable to trust anyone. His eyes roamed her body. She doesn’t even know how beautiful she really is, he thought, or how every single guy watched her as they walked through the club. How the hell did I get so lucky to have her in my life?   Her skin glowed against the red material
beneath her. The skirt she wore cut across her thigh, revealing what he only imagined to be silky smooth skin if he touched it.

The candle’s flame flickered from the glass sphere on the table;
its light illuminating her face. Her hair fell across her shoulders and around her neck. She sighed and licked her lips as he moistened his own, seemingly preparing for a kiss. He wanted to kiss her, to draw her lips into his mouth and taste the sweetness of her lip gloss. Running tiny circles across the top of her hand, he leaned to whisper in her ear. But before he could say her name, she spoke.

“Everything is perfect; this place, this booth, the piano music… you,” she said opening her eyes. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

Alex took Clair’s hand in his, “It’s not perfect yet. We still have to dance.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Alex

“Dance?
Oh no, I don’t think so. If you value your feet at all, you’ll want to skip that activity. Trust me, I’m not a good dancer, and I don’t want to look like an idiot.” Clair pulled her hand away from his, refusing to get up.

Alex laughed and grabbed both of her hands, tugging her to her feet. “C’mon, you’ll be fine. Just look at the other people out there,” he said pointing to the dance floor. Each couple swayed to the rhythmic melody of the soft piano music.

“Oh I don’t know, Alex. I don’t want all those people staring at me.”

“Alright then, how about a compromise?
We won’t go out there, but you dance with me here?” He stepped closer, holding her waist. Clair rested her hands on his shoulders, conceding to his request.

“Okay, but really, this may not be a good idea, I feel a little dizzy already.”

“Ahh and that is why we don’t drink martinis in big gulps.”

“I guess so. Lesson learned.”

“Just close your eyes and concentrate on the rhythm of the music.” He held her around the waist, gliding her to the beat. He barely moved his feet, careful not to throw Clair’s equilibrium off. They danced until the song ended and another began. She wrapped her hands around his neck and seemed to become more comfortable, moving more easily with the music.  Alex brushed the hair away from her neck, letting it fall behind her back. He leaned into her, brushing his lips over her ear when he spoke.

“I thought you said you couldn’t dance?”

She still didn’t open her eyes, but smiled at his comment. “It’s true, I can’t dance, but you’re very inspiring. Did your grandma teach you?”

“Yes. She made me dance with her all the time while my grandpa played the piano. Then there were those countless times I watched them dance together. I hated watching them when I was younger. I’d go to my room when that old-time music came on. But as I got older, I actually liked to watch. They’d be in their own little world. They loved each other so much, and it showed when they danced together.”

“They sound so sweet. I would have loved to meet them, hear their stories.”

“They would have loved you.” Alex laughed, “
and your ears would have bled with all the stories they would have told you. I’ve always hoped to have what they had someday. To have that kind of bond, that kind of connection with someone you love. I don’t think there’s anything better than spending the rest of your life like that.”

Clair looked up at him and smiled.  “You’ve got time. You’ll find that person someday. You’re too good of a person not to.”

“I know. Someday, I suppose.” What if I told you I’ve already found her? Would you think I’m crazy? he thought. Clair rubbed the base of his neck as she ran her fingers in and out of his hair. The soothing effect made him close his eyes, but he opened them again when Clair stopped dancing.

“Alex. I’ve been waiting for you to kiss me since I woke up. How much longer are you going to make me wait?” 

Her bold comment stopped him in his tracks. His hands moved from her waist to her hips as he pulled her close against him. “The way I want to kiss you right now might attract some attention, so I’ve been restraining myself.”

Clair turned away, separating the tieback cords around each side of the curtains to unfurl into a black velvet wall that surrounded them. They were in their own private room now, no one to peep in and see what they were doing. Only the soft rhythmic sound of the piano leaked through the curtain.

“Does that help any?”

“No,” he said simply, “I’m afraid that didn’t help at all.”

“Why not?” she asked, confused.

Alex combed his fingers through her hair. He inhaled, speaking in a hushed tone, “Your hair is soft.” His hands slid across her shoulders, pushing her cardigan down both arms,
letting it drop to the floor before skimming his hand back up her arm. “Your skin is soft too,” he whispered as he tenderly kissed across her shoulder until he reached her neck. “And you smell,” he mumbled as he inhaled deeply, “you smell like lavender, so sweet.” Alex weaved his hand in her hair, cupping the back of her head, tilting it slightly. He placed small kisses on her neck and he could feel the rise and fall of her chest as it pressed against his. Whispering against her ear, he said, “You are so beautiful.”

Clair leaned back to look him in the eyes. “You still haven’t kissed me yet.”

He reached up; pulling the clip from her hair, watching as it cascaded down and around her face. “I’m still restraining myself.”

“Don’t,” she breathed into his mouth.

He couldn’t hold back any longer, he needed to feel her against him, touch her skin, taste her lips. Leaning in, he kissed her softly; lightly drawing her bottom lip into his mouth. Her lips tasted sweet to his tongue and he teased the edge of it. He cupped the side of her neck with his hand gently, sliding his hand up and down the length of it. She parted her mouth and he slipped his tongue in, slowly flicking it back and forth, exploring. She opened wider, taking his tongue deeper into her mouth and moaned. Her hands slipped up his chest, wrapping around the back of his neck. Clair shifted her left leg between his and pressed up against his body. He could feel his arousal grow, straining against the front of his pants.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her tighter against his leg, which she had wrapped her leg around. As he continued to kiss her, he moved his hand up the side of her thigh and under her skirt. He felt her panties and traced his finger along the seam, around her leg until his hand cupped her bottom. Clair gasped, moving her hands down his chest, gripping his shirt in her hands and using it to get as close to him as she could. Her skin felt smooth beneath his palm and he wanted to explore her further. Lifting her off her feet, he carried her to the couch and sat down with her on his lap. She straddled his waist, her knees pressed into the cushion on each side of his hips.

Holding his neck between her soft hands, she kissed him slowly and deeply until the intensity of their kiss grew and Alex wanted to feel her skin again. He slipped his hands under the front of her shirt, lightly tracing his fingers across her stomach as it tightened with his touch. She gasped when he reached further up, cupping his hands over her breast. Clair leaned forward, kissing his neck up to his ear before pulling his lobe into her mouth and sucking on it. Alex lifted her shirt up over her head and his eyes roamed her body. The black bra she wore was molded to her breasts, lifting them up to create just the right amount of cleavage for him to run his fingers between. “You’re gorgeous,” he whispered, leaning forward to slide his hands up her back. He grabbed at her hair, tilting her head back to kiss the crevice of her neck. Tenderly, Alex ran his tongue down the length of her throat until his lips found the swells of her breast. Her chest moved up and down rapidly with each breath she took.

He wanted to feel her skin against his. In one quick movement, Alex lifted Clair from his lap and laid her on the couch. He leaned over her, one palm on either side of her head and she reached for the hem of his shirt. Pulling it up, Clair slid her palms up his chest. He pulled his shirt off and threw it to the floor, lowering his chest on top of hers. Her skin was hot beneath
him. When her fingers skimmed up the side of his stomach, he had to catch his breath. She wrapped one leg around his hip, pushing her hips against the hard knot in his pants. Holding the back of her thigh, he instinctively moved his arousal back and forth against her. She kissed him hard, bringing her hands around his shoulders, drawing him harder against her. The sensation Clair created in his body was overwhelming. He had never felt this turned on by a woman before and he had to grip the edge of the cushion to stay in control of himself. Alex didn’t want to stop; he wanted to make love to her right there. Not here, not in this place. She deserves so much more, he thought.

Alex lifted his chest off Clair’s. “We have to stop,” he panted.

Clair relaxed beneath him, wrapping her fingers around the back of his neck. She closed her eyes, nodding in agreement. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to get carried away... again. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Her voice quivered and tears ran out the corner of her eyes, disappearing into her hair.

“Oh baby, don’t…” he wiped the tears from her face. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Believe me, I didn’t want to
stop. But we both know where this is going and I don’t want that moment to be here, of all places. You deserve better.”

Clair shook her head, “I’ve just never… felt like this before. I don’t act like this. I don’t have make-out sessions and push my limits with men I don’t really know. But with you, it’s different. You bring out a whole new side of me. I feel like we’ve known each other for years and it feels natural. With you, I don’t want to stop.” Clair closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry; I’m just overwhelmed right now.” 

Alex had hoped that Clair had feelings for him like he did her, but hearing her confession made him speechless. The same feelings she described were his own. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he soothed, caressing her cheek with his thumb. “Everything you just described right now? I feel the same way. I just didn’t know if it was something you wanted to hear, especially since you didn’t want to label our relationship.”

Clair opened her eyes, looking directly into his. “Sorry. You’re right. I don’t want to label our relationship, but that doesn’t mean I can’t feel strongly about it… you. It just seems like when you make things official, they fall apart.”

Alex smiled and kissed her briefly before sitting up. “Okay, if that’s how you feel, we won’t do labels. It’s not going to change how I feel about you anyway.” He held out his hand and pulled her up and she grabbed it. “It’s getting late and we have a good drive ahead of us. Let’s get you home.”

After his date with Clair, Alex spent the three more days going over blueprints and reviewing contracts. It was everything he could do to concentrate on his work and not her. After their date at Red Velvet, he couldn’t get it out of his mind. The way they kissed, the softness of her skin, and her words replayed over and over again in his mind.

Most days, Alex enjoyed helping the guys frame the houses, but not lately. He couldn’t concentrate on anything besides Clair and the impending business trip, so he decided to stay in his office with Stu. He was liable to shoot someone with the nail gun, the way his attention kept wandering. Stu wasn’t any help keeping him focused on work either. He kept teasing him whenever he caught Alex daydreaming.

Late that afternoon, Alex sat at Stu’s desk going over the details for their trip. He kept staring off into space, tuning Stu out. The tapping on the desk in front of him pulled Alex from his thoughts. When he looked down at the noise, he saw Stu pull his hand away and smile at him.

“Oh huh?
What’d you say?” Alex asked.

“You know you got the sickness, right?” Stu said.

Alex looked at him confused. “I got the what? I feel fine. What are you talking about?”

“You’ve got it bad. You’re a poor little love-sick puppy for that girl.”

Alex opened his mouth to object to Stu’s statement but shut it. There was no denying it. It was the truth. He laid his forehead on the tabletop. “Stu, I think I’m going to go crazy thinking about her. I can’t think of anything else, no matter what I do to try to occupy my time.”

Stu chuckled and patted Alex on the back. “
Ahh yes, that’s what young love does to us.”

Alex sat up. “Oh hold on, I never said I was in love. Sure, I really care for her but love… I don’t think so. We haven’t even been seeing each that long. It’s a little too soon to be throwing
the ‘L’ word around, don’t you think?”

Stu crossed his arms across his chest and leaned back in his chair. “Hey, you don’t have to try and convince me. I can already see it, Roz and me both,” he said, matter-of-factly. “You have to figure that out on your own. And you know what? What does time have to do with anything? When two people have that kind of connection and you both can relate and help each other, like I know you both do now… who the hell cares about how long you’ve been dating? I say, when you know, you know.”

Alex nodded and looked out the window. He ran Stu’s words back through his head again. They did have that connection, and when he was with Clair, it just felt right. As if she were the missing piece to his broken life. “You’re right… time doesn’t make a difference. That is one thing I’m sure about. I was with Mia for a long time before I realized I was in love with her. Even though I knew everything about her, I still feel like I know Clair better. I can’t explain it. I mean, there are plenty of things I don’t know. What problems she had with her parents, what made her so guarded about accepting commitment… And even though I really want this relationship to work, I can’t help but think she’s going to change her mind and run, no matter how much I may love her.”

“I understand what you’re saying,” Stu nodded in agreement. “But there is one thing you need to remember. Clair is not Mia. They don’t share the same problems and just because Mia couldn’t see a good thing when it was staring her in the face… for how long… a couple years? It doesn’t mean Clair is going to be the same way. If what you’ve told me about her is true, then I think she’ll come around and open up to you more. If it’s painful to her, then you just have to give it time. And it could take a lifetime to really get to know someone. Do we ever really know everything about the people we love? No, I think that takes time, trust and respect.”