Take Your Time (Fate and Circumstance #2) (30 page)

Sarah

I couldn’t breathe properly until Bentley stepped out of the way, letting me through the front door. But it didn’t do anything to calm my jittery hands or rapid pulse. Getting inside the house was the first step, now I just had to convince him to let me stay.

The sound of the deadbolt clicking behind me caught my attention and caused me to jump slightly, giving away my uneasiness. I wanted him to see me as the stronger person I’d become in his absence, and didn’t want him mistaking my nervousness. So I straightened my spine, holding the handle to my duffel bag tightly in my grasp, and waited in the dark foyer for him to make the next move.

When he moved around me, his clean scent swarmed my senses and offered a slight comfort to my overly sensitized nerves. But only for the briefest of seconds, because then he began to walk away, not even checking over his shoulder to see if I’d follow him.

My feet moved, shuffling in my flip-flops as I matched his steps. I couldn’t see much in the darkness, but the moon shining through his large windows cast a glow on his back, giving me at least something to follow.

But then he turned down a hallway, leaving me with nothing but sounds to go on. After a few feet, the jiggling of a door handle forced me to stop abruptly, and then the click of a switch sounded a split second before light flooded the dim hallway. I stood in front of a spacious bathroom decorated in white and black, and watched with curiosity as he silently moved around the room. Bentley pulled a folded towel out of a closet and set it on the edge of the sink. He didn’t say a single word or even check to see where I was.

Without meeting my gaze, he squeezed through the space left between my body and the doorjamb and walked out. “You can stay in this room,” he said with zero emotion in his tone as he pushed open a door directly across the hall from where I stood. “The sheets are clean and there’s an extra blanket in the closet if you need it. Soaps and shampoo are beneath the sink in the bathroom. Use whatever you need.” He kept his eyes downcast as he spoke quietly, his words directed at his bare feet.

He turned and started to walk away, and my pulse spiked at the thought of him leaving me alone in the stillness of the hallway. “Wait.” I grabbed his arm, his body heat practically searing my skin. “Where are you going?”

His eyes finally met mine, but his cold expression burned my soul, leaving it frostbitten and numb. His brows pulled together so hard that the creases in his forehead became deep valleys and the wrinkles around his eyes tripled. “I’m going to
my
room…to go back to sleep. You’re right, you shouldn’t drive back home tonight. You can sleep here—in
that
room—and then head back in the morning.”

He turned around once more, but before he could take a step, I spoke again. My words were filled with pain and uncertainty as I asked, “Why are you so mad at me? I mean, I get that we’ve hurt each other, but I don’t understand why you’re so angry with me.”

Without turning back, he dropped his chin to his chest and shook his head slowly back and forth. “I’m not angry with you… Just forget it, Sarah. It’s late. You’ve been driving all night and need to get some sleep.”

I stood frozen in place as I watched him walk away from me, disappearing into the darkness. I became empty and hollow as I stood alone, unmoving, desperately waiting for him to come back to me. But I knew he wouldn’t. And instead of growing weak and breaking down, I held my shoulders back and took in a deep breath. He needed time. And I’d give it to him.

But the one thing I wouldn’t give was space.

I closed the door to the bathroom and made my way to the sink, staring at my reflection in the decorative mirror on the wall. It was like looking at a picture of my mom when she was around my age, healthy and happy. I wasn’t the same girl who’d walked away from him three weeks ago. I wasn’t even the same person he sat next to in the bar almost two months ago. He’d spent so much time trying to bring me back to life, and I wouldn’t give up until he saw it for himself.

I studied my reflection as I pulled out every bobby pin from my hair and let the curls fall to my back. Then I took off my clothes and stepped into the shower, needing to clean the grime of heavy makeup off my face. After the wedding, I ran home and quickly changed out of my dress, throwing on the first pieces of clothing I found in my drawers, not caring that it was lounge-wear. And then I took off down the road.

The warm spray helped to ease the tension in my neck caused by frantic driving on dark, winding roads. It calmed me down and offered me a moment to relax. I’d spent hours in my car, nothing but the sound of my tires on the highway filling the air around me. My nerves had been fried, and I don’t think my mind stopped once during the long drive. But when I stepped out of the shower, I felt like a new person. I’d seen Bentley breathing, alive, so I no longer had that fear living inside me. With that worry gone, I was ready to fight for what I wanted.

I wrapped myself up in the thick towel Bentley had set out for me and then rummaged through my duffel bag. I pulled out a pair of panties and slipped them on, keeping the towel in place around my body. I was here, in Bentley’s house, with him on the other side. There was no way in hell I planned to put on my clothes and crawl into an empty bed with him that close.

I had no clue where his room was, and the darkness made navigating the unfamiliar layout nearly impossible, but I finally managed to make my way across the house, finding a closed door next to the kitchen. I rapped my knuckles softly on the wood and waited, taking in deep breaths to calm my erratic nerves. After a second of silence, I turned the handle, cracked open the door, and peered inside with bated breath.

Moonlight filtered in through the glass panes on a set of French doors along one wall, casting a glow into the large room. I pushed the door open even further, stepping more into the silent space, and then settled my gaze on the massive bed in front of me. My hand fell from the door and knocked against the handle, the noise interrupting the peacefulness of the room. The sound caused Bentley to jump. He sat straight up, staring harshly in my direction, and then groaned to himself. I didn’t offer him time to reject me. I stepped more into the room, closer to the bed, and stood there with my towel wrapped around my damp, naked body.

“What do you want, Sarah?” His voice was deep and groggy, like I’d just woken him up. He ran his hands over his face, hanging his head to prevent me from seeing him.

“I forgot to pack clothes to sleep in. I was in a rush and didn’t really think about what I was putting in my bag. Do you have anything I could borrow?” It was a lame excuse, considering the clothes I came in was a T-shirt and yoga pants, more than fitting to sleep in. But he didn’t say anything.

He reached over and pulled the chain on a lamp next to his bed, the soft yellow light brightening the room. It offered me a chance to see him, but he hadn’t taken the same opportunity with me. He averted his gaze as he walked to his dresser. Without speaking, he pulled out a shirt and a pair of boxers, like the ones I’d worn before. He handed them to me and then stood next to his bed, his back facing me.

I dropped the towel and waited, hoping I could drag this out long enough for him to turn around and see me, and when he did, my stomach dipped with relief. But then his gaze fell to my body, focusing on something with narrowed eyes. I had no idea what he saw, or what had caught his attention, so I didn’t move a muscle, waiting for him to say or do something.

“Why did you come here, Sarah?” His focus snapped to my eyes, never leaving them as if I hadn’t been standing in front of him in only a pair of panties. As if he hadn’t just intently studied my nearly naked body.

“I came here for you.”

“But why? If you have something to tell me…just say it.”

I shook my head slowly, trying to understand what he’d meant.

“Are you pregnant?”

I gasped and covered my mouth, feeling attacked by his random question that had been asked with an angry tone. His hardened facial features sent a chill through me. I immediately grabbed the shirt he’d given me and yanked it over my head.

“If that’s what you came here to tell me, just get it over with now.”

“No,” I whispered, shaking my head in rapid, jerky movements. “No, I’m not pregnant, Bentley. Why would you think that?”

His shoulders dropped and his chest fell with the heavy sigh that left his lips. Then he stepped back and sank against the edge of his mattress. His eyes closed, the relief at my response evident in his entire reaction.

“Why would you think that, Bentley?” I moved closer to him and asked again when he hadn’t given me an answer the first time.

He finally turned his attention to me, releasing long, relieved breaths. “We didn’t use protection, and I didn’t pull out…”

“We did use protection. I told you I was on birth control.”

“I know, but it still worried me. I told you that.”

My feet moved one in front of the other until I stood in front of him. I held his face in my hands, forcing his eyes to meet mine. “There has to be some other reason why you thought that. If it had you so worried, it would’ve been one of the first things you asked when I knocked on your door. Or you would’ve at least sent me a text before now.”

“I don’t want to upset you.” His soft words fanned through the space between us and landed on my cooled skin, heating me up at the first sign of emotion from him since arriving.

“You won’t upset me, I promise. Just tell me.”

He pulled his hands to my waist and held onto my hips, his fingers lightly digging into my flesh. “You’ve gained some weight. Not much, but it’s noticeable—it looks good on you.”

My lips split into a hearty smile and set a deep ache in my cheeks. “Yeah, I have. But it’s not baby weight, Bentley. I swear. A lot has changed over the last few weeks, and that’s the real reason why I came here.”

He dropped his hold on me and pulled his face from my grasp, averting his gaze away from mine. “It’s really late, Sarah. I don’t think I can have this conversation right now.”

I understood, but that didn’t mean I was ready to give up. Instead of walking away like I knew he wanted me to do, I reached around him and pulled back the covers. He glanced at me with narrowed eyes, not voicing his question. “Get in bed, Bentley. You’re tired. I woke you up in the middle of the night. Just lie down and get some sleep. We can talk about this in the morning if you’re up for it.”

Reluctantly, he relaxed and leaned back against his pillow, his eyes following my every move. I pulled the covers up, placing them over his chest, and then turned off the lamp next to his bed, shrouding the room in darkness once again.

He remained silent, motionless, as I made my way around the bed, pulled back the covers on the other side, and then slid in. But once I moved across the mattress, curling up next to his warm body, he said, “Sarah…what are you doing?”

“I’m going to sleep, Bentley. You should do the same.” My arm fell over his stomach as I pressed my ear to the center of his chest, curling into him like I’d done so many times before.

But his body remained rigid, his breaths short and shallow. “I don’t think I can do this…”

“Why?” I tilted my head, catching the reflection of moonlight in his wide eyes. “Because you’re worried you won’t be able to hate me anymore after you wake up?”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Maybe not…but you don’t want to give in, either. I don’t know about you, but I haven’t slept well in the last three weeks. Can you please just let me have this one night of sleep?”

His chest finally deflated and his body relaxed, but his arm remained resting against the mattress behind me instead of around me like it used to. I couldn’t think about that, though. I had to focus on the fact that I was with him, his heartbeat lulling me to sleep. And just as the warm tingles of slumber began to pull me down, his hand came around to rest on my hip.