Take Me Now (3 page)
I’m loading a dump truck full of mulch for a landscaping job when my cell phone rings. It’s hot day and I wipe the sweat off my brow while removing one of my work gloves. It’s hard labor, no question, but it helps me stay grounded when it feels like the world is spinning out of control.
“Jack, give me a minute, would you? I have to answer this.” Without waiting for a reply, I jump out of the back of the truck and take the call. “Hello?”
“Eric? Hi, it’s Ivy from the
Gazette
. How are you?” Something about hearing her voice immediately lifts my spirits. I can’t explain why. It just does.
“Ivy, hey. What’s going on? Did I get you off the hook?” I walk away from Jack, who’s resting his chin on his shovel, listening to every word. I can tell he’s curious about who’s drawing out the flirty inflection I unconsciously slipped into. It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a date. I think it would be front page news if it ever happened. I guess I can’t blame people for taking an interest, especially when they think my life is one tragic love story. Little do they know, those days are over. Any type of romantic vibe I possessed was buried with Cassidy.
“Not really, I’m afraid.” Ivy sounds nervous. This can’t be good. I thought I worked everything out with Lauren so she’d stay off Ivy’s case. Looks like I need to brush up on my methods of persuasion.
“Why? What’s wrong?” My tone turns a bit gruff, and she hesitates before hitting me with the details. It’s nothing personal. It’s just that I’m used to talking to the guys on the job. I’m not around many women on a daily basis. I need to remember to soften my approach.
“Lauren wants me to do a profile piece on you in the
Gazette
. And just to warn you, she’s not going to take no for an answer. I already tried to dissuade her but she’s determined. I know you’re a private person who wants to stay out of the limelight and I respect that. I do. Maybe we can shift the focus to another area of your life or something.” She’s grasping at straws. I don’t talk to the press. Not anymore, and not after what happened with Cassidy. I can tell Ivy doesn’t wish to intrude. Lauren’s the one putting her up to this. I don’t want to cause Ivy any problems, but I don’t think I can comply with her request. It would open the floodgates to every newspaper and TV station in the area, and I just can’t go through that again.
“Ivy, listen…” Before I can politely decline, she cuts me off.
“Eric, Lauren isn’t going to let this go. At least if I’m involved, I can serve as a sort of buffer between you and the things you don’t want to talk about. I’ll protect your best interest at all costs. I give you my word.” Her sincerity is heartfelt and coming from a good place. She thinks she can protect me. That’s sweet. Besides, I have to consider that if I don’t do the interview I might not ever get to talk to Ivy again, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that. I enjoy her company. Maybe I can sacrifice a little of my privacy for a chance to get to know her better. She’s worth the risk.
“I’ll tell you what. If we stick strictly to promoting the garden center, I’ll consider it. You run that by her and see what she says. No mention of Cassidy or my personal life or anything like that and you’ve got a deal.” I highly doubt Lauren’s going to go for my setting the parameters for her exclusive on the grieving bachelor, but I’m not backing down on my stance. She can take it or leave it.
“Okay, I’ll relay your message. I think it’s more than fair, by the way. You’re a pretty cool guy for even considering it.” Her enthusiasm is infectious. Plus she paid me a compliment, so maybe there’s something there after all. I can’t let her slip away from me now.
“And Ivy, regardless of what Lauren says, you’re welcome to visit me and Shep at the garden center anytime you’d like, okay? I have plenty of replacement shoes on hand.” I hope she’s not repulsed by my invitation like I’m some creepy older guy trying to hit on her or something. She may even have a boyfriend for all I know. That thought depresses me so I try not to dwell on it.
“I might be in need of a job if she flies off the rails like a loose cannon. Are you hiring up there?” I can feel the glow of her smile through the phone and my mind is set at ease. She likes me well enough to want to work for me. That’s a plus.
“You’ll always have a place here if you need it.” That sounded a little too familiar. I better end this call before I really start to freak her out. “Ivy, I have to run but let me know what she says.”
“Will do, Eric. Talk to you soon.” Her words come out rushed like she’s flustered or something. Is that a good sign?
“Bye, Ivy.” I hang up and feel both deflated and exhilarated at the same time. I want to see her again. If this doesn’t work out, I’m going to have to think up an excuse to cross paths with her.
When I amble back to the truck, I see that Jack is still staring a hole through me. He’s not even berating me for throwing him off schedule. There’s a gleam in his eye that wasn’t there before. It’s like he’s happy for me or something.
“It’s about damn time, man.” He emphasizes each word by banging the shovel against the ground.
“You don’t even know what you’re talking about.” I laugh because I can’t hide the mirth building up inside of me.
“Sure I do, dipshit. You’ve finally fallen for some girl. I just about gave up hope on you. I was worried if there was an actual man living inside that body of yours or if there was nothing left but an empty shell.” He slaps me on the back and whoops with joy. “Wait until I tell Ellen. She’s going to flip.”
“You’ll do no such thing, Jack. There’s nothing going on. I’ve been in contact with a few ladies at the
Gazette
for a story on the garden center. That’s all.” I give him a stern look but he knows I’m full of it.
“A few ladies, huh? Now that does sound interesting. You’re coming out of your slump in a big way, my man.” He hoots and hollers some more and I don’t bother to correct him. Let him wonder which girl it is. The last thing I want to do is pin a bull’s-eye on Ivy’s back. Everyone in town wants to know the minute I start dating again, and I’m not putting any girl under that kind of scrutiny. The pressure to live up to Cassidy’s legacy is enough to crush any budding romance.
“How long has it been since you got laid? Like two years? Dude, you seriously have to give your hand a break. You know what I’m saying?” Jack playfully jostles me in the ribs but it’s hard to keep a smile plastered on my face. It’s a sore subject with me. No guy wants to feel inadequate when it comes to his sexual prowess. Even if I haven’t had a lady in my bedroom in quite some time, I can still get it up. There are no worries on that score even if I have been living a hermit-like existence.
“Let’s finish this load, all right? So I can get your sorry ass off my property.” I want to be alone right now to collect my thoughts, but mostly I’d like to fantasize about Ivy without Jack analyzing my every move. Sometimes a guy just needs his space.
We finish the work in record time. I slam a wad of bills in Jack’s hand and he tips his baseball cap in my direction. “A pleasure doing business with you, Eric. Thanks for the side job.”
“No problem, Jack. Want something to drink before you head out?” We’re both sweating profusely as the nearby thermometer nears ninety-five degrees. I’m thirsty as hell and he must be too. There’s nothing more dangerous for an outdoor worker than getting dehydrated in this kind of weather.
“No worries, my friend. I’ve got a thermos right here next to me,” he says, holding it up for my inspection. “A potent Red Bull cocktail that’ll keep me going for hours, if you know what I mean.”
“You’re one crazy son of a bitch.” I give him a salute as my phone starts to ring. Damn it, talk about bad timing. He was just about to leave.
“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna hang around and listen to you sweet talk your new lady friends. I’m outta here. Catch ya later, Eric.” His tires crunch over the gravel as he drives slowly through the gate with the big load. He’s nosy, but I have to admit he’s been a good friend to me since Cassidy died.
I check the caller ID. It’s the
Gazette
’s number. My heart begins to race.
Without going through the formalities, I pick up. “Hey, Ivy. What did she say?”
There’s an annoyed rustling of papers on the other end of the line. “Eric, it’s not Ivy. It’s Lauren.”
I groan inwardly. Shit.
“Ivy gave me your message, and I just wanted to call you back personally and tell you that I’m fine with your request on how you’d like to participate in the interview. We’re simply honored to have you in the pages of the
Gazette
in whatever way you feel most comfortable. I’m here to accommodate your every need.” She’s trying to sound sexy but instead it’s coming off as predatory. No man likes to feel backed into a corner by a woman he’s not even into.
“That’s great, Lauren. Thanks for being so understanding.” I keep things friendly, but not too friendly. I don’t want her getting the wrong idea.
“There’s just one special request I hope you can fulfill.” She’s practically cooing in my ear as she lets the other shoe drop. I knew she wasn’t being so accommodating for nothing.
“And what’s that?” Have at it, Lauren. You will anyway.
“Since you’re now the major sponsor of the film festival, I’d like you to accompany me to the opening gala next Friday as my plus one. I think it’d be a great sign of support for the cultural events in the community. A young entrepreneur like yourself combined with my media know-how—it’ll make a powerful statement about our mutual commitment to the arts, don’t you think?” She has me right where she wants me and she knows it. She’s systematically removing Ivy from the equation and inserting herself in her place. I resent being manhandled like this and I refuse to let her ace Ivy out of the picture either.
“But Ivy’s still going to be doing the story, right? I built up a rapport with her and I think she’ll capture exactly what I’m hoping to get across in the interview.” I’m taking a chance that this approach might backfire in Ivy’s face but I’m determined to secure her involvement going forward. There’s no way in hell I’m letting Lauren interview me.
“Of course, Eric. If you believe she’s capable of doing an adequate job, then I’m more than happy to keep her on board.” The insipidness of her tone could shatter glass but I don’t care. I got what I wanted. I can put up with Lauren for a night as long as I still have the opportunity to see Ivy. I don’t even have her cell phone number, and if Lauren does something drastic like fire her, then I’ll have no way of contacting her.
“Excellent. I’m glad everything worked out. I’ll talk to you soon, Lauren.” I’m trying to maintain my polite demeanor with her but it’s taxing.
“I’m counting on it, Eric. Just so you know, I’m wearing a navy blue dress to the gala in case you want to match your tie. Our picture together is going to be everywhere and it’s always good to color coordinate.” She’s way too excited about this. It’s not like we’re getting married or something. Wherever she believes this is headed, it is not a date. It’s nothing more than a professional courtesy between colleagues.
Before I can dampen her enthusiasm, she plows ahead. “I’ll email you all of the particulars and we’ll arrange our schedules. I have a deadline looming or else I’d gladly stay on the phone with you all day.” Oh please don’t. Man, what did I get myself into?
“Bye, Eric.”
“Bye, Lauren.”
I hang up and feel totally drained. That woman stole every last ounce of energy I had in me. She’s exhausting to have to deal with. And worst of all, what’s Ivy going to think when she rubs it in her face that I’m escorting her as her date? It couldn’t be more contrived but Ivy doesn’t know that. I have to talk to her one on one and explain everything. She might think I’m losing my mind by confessing what’s really going on between me and her boss, but I’m willing to put it all out there in the hope of salvaging what we have between us…if it’s anything at all. I haven’t felt drawn toward any woman since Cassidy died and I’m not going to give up on what’s drawing me to Ivy. She’s too special to let go of without a fight.
Will said he was too busy to sit down at a computer and type his answers to my questions. So he suggested that we meet in person at the only restaurant for miles that’s not a McDonald’s or a Dairy Queen. He’s already ten minutes late and the lunch crowd is starting to pour in. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold this table if he doesn’t show soon. A text would be nice. At least then I’d be sure he didn’t forget about me.
But when am I ever in the forefront of Will’s thoughts? Probably never. Meanwhile, he’s been the center of my romantic universe since we were kids. There’s never been anyone for me but him. No matter how much he fails to see it, I’m in love with him, plain and simple. I don’t fantasize about any other guy. He’s it for me…even if he’s not good for me. I’m not blind to his faults. He’s a self-centered, arrogant jerk most of the time, but when no one else is around and I’m the center of his world, it’s like I’m flying. Nothing feels better than the way he looks at me in those moments, like he knows we’re meant to be together but he’s just not ready to settle down yet. And I get that. He’s a hot guy who wants to play the field. Who can blame him? As long as he comes back to me in the end, I don’t care what he does now.
Someone bumps my chair trying to squeeze through the crowded dining room so I move closer to the table before taking a nervous sip of my iced tea. I’m starting to look conspicuous as everyone laughs and chats around me. Where is he? Is he really going to stand me up? He’s embarrassed me on plenty of occasions. This wouldn’t be the first time.
I think back to the mean things he used to do in school. There was one girl. Her name was Ali. We weren’t speaking to each other and Will was well aware of our squabble. So at recess, he took a jump rope and began to play with the girls. It was unusual behavior when all the other boys were tossing a football around but I didn’t question it. It was hard to fathom he had an ulterior motive. He swung the rope in a circle and we jumped over it when it came our way. When Ali joined the group, he increased the force and raised his arm, causing the rope to wrap around her legs. She tripped and fell to the ground, scraping her knees in the process. As she started to cry, Will shot me a look of triumph like he did it because that’s what I wanted. Somewhere inside of me I felt pleased that he would do something like that for me even though I knew it was wrong. But I also felt scared by what he was capable of. That devotion mixed with cruelty was something my conscience was screaming at me to get away from at all costs. When it came to Will, I’d only experience pleasure when it was accompanied by pain.
Yet I continued to seek his approval. Something was pulling me to him. I was caught in his orbit and there was no possibility of setting myself free. He trained me to believe I was nothing without him. I’d never be enough for him, but he always made me feel that I was so close to being what he was looking for. I thought I just needed to take that extra step in order to convince him that he was right about me all along. He could have been the boyfriend I’d always dreamed of if only I were a little more attractive, a little more outgoing, a little more desirable.
He strung me along through middle school. After our first kiss at Johnny’s party, he started being really nice to me. When nominations were held for the editor of the school newspaper, he raised his hand and called out my name. When we were sitting on the classroom floor to watch a video, he saved a spot right in front and waved me over to join him. When we had a dance in the gymnasium, he actually took my hand and swayed with me during a slow song.
I thought we had made a major breakthrough but I was mistaken. The next year we entered high school and everything changed. He started chasing older girls and I looked like a mere child in comparison. I couldn’t compete. I never caught him with another girl but I heard about his escapades from everyone else. It was devastating especially since we were never officially going out so he never had to officially break up with me. Whatever we had was undefined. I thought that’s what made it special but apparently not to him. It was just an easy escape clause for him to take.
Sure, he’d run up to me in the hall and ask to borrow a pen, always giving me that sexy wink like I actually meant something to him. And I’d fall for it and be on cloud nine until he broke my heart again. But even if he didn’t claim me as his own, he didn’t want anyone else having me either.
In Spanish class during our senior year, there was a boy, Jeremy, who would always talk to me. Will was seated directly across from us and he didn’t like it, not one bit. He played it off like it was nothing, but I knew sooner or later he’d go in for the kill. It got to the point where Will had buddied up to Jeremy so much that he ended up talking more to Will than he did to me. One day, Will decided he was going to show me Jeremy’s true colors so he started to rag on Melissa, a girl with a cleft palate who was a bit of an outcast. He knew she was a friend of mine, but he was going to do it anyway just to make Jeremy look bad in my eyes.
He proceeded gradually with something rather trivial, like making fun of her large hoop earrings. No one ever said he wasn’t funny, and he soon had Jeremy cracking up with his comments. They seemed harmless enough until he launched an attack that was downright ugly. Talking about how he would never do her and what she must look like naked, he goaded Jeremy into continuing this train of thought even though he was hesitant to go there at first. But nothing gets a teenage boy going like talking about sex, and soon they were imagining these elicit scenarios with her that frankly turned my stomach. When the bell rang, they scooped up their books and walked out the door together, still discussing if they would take her from behind if they didn’t have to see her face.
After that, I trudged to my locker on autopilot, not even aware of my surroundings. Was Jeremy really that much of a jerk or did Will just bring it out in him? It made me sick to think that the first guy who was into me in like forever was so easily corrupted by Will’s influence. Why did he have to go to such lengths to show me that most guys are insensitive to a girl’s feelings? What the hell was he trying to prove—that just because he didn’t value me, no one else would either? Well, point taken because I didn’t date anyone for the remainder of high school. He held that much influence over me.
And now, just when I thought I was free of him, he’s back, once again pulling the strings and manipulating every situation. But I’m older and wiser now. I’m not going to stand for any of his bullshit. Damn it, I’m twenty-one years old and he’s not going to make me feel like I’m in the fifth grade all over again. Enough is enough.
Abruptly, I stand, shaking the table and causing a fork to fall to the ground. I stoop to pick it up and that’s when he casually walks through the door. I’m so worked up that I want to rush over and start smacking him. He takes off his aviator sunglasses and tucks them into the front pocket of his heather gray polo shirt. He turns more than a few heads as he approaches my table in his skintight black jeans and combat boots. It’s ridiculous how much he looks like a movie star. I’m surprised the paparazzi aren’t jumping out from behind the counter to take his picture.
My resolve starts to crumble when he takes my hand and kisses it. Despite my better judgment, my anger melts away when I feel his lips brush my skin. My face is on fire as nearly every woman in the place shoots a jealous glance in my direction. I can feel them giving me the once-over. Like what’s so special about that bitch that a guy like that would be falling all over her? Just one action from him and my negative train of thought is already on the repeat cycle in my head. He always causes me to doubt myself, but having his undivided attention always weakens my defenses against him. He knows how to win me over even if he doesn’t want to hold on to me.
“Sorry I’m late, Ivy. I was on a conference call with the distributors at Paramount. You know how that can be.” He motions for the waitress and releases my hand in one swift movement.
“So how’s your line-up coming?” I don’t even bother to stand up for myself and press him that, even though he knew he was going to be late, he didn’t text me. He has my number. There’s no excuse. It’s just another example of his bad behavior. At this point, I just want to conduct the interview and get back to the office. It’s pretty pathetic that I’m choosing Lauren’s nonsense over his.
“All of the deals are almost in place. These films are going to blow people’s minds.” It’s like we’re at a big Hollywood power lunch instead of some sleepy little town with a one screen theater.
“Are you excited about the gala? Any hints on what the first screening will be?” My excitement is so forced but he doesn’t even notice. He could be conversing with any random reporter for all he cares. He’s talking about himself; no wonder he’s so animated.
“My lips are sealed. I can’t give anything away until opening night.” So much for obtaining any type of insider information. I thought he’d be more forthcoming considering how the theater’s not even paying for the ad. Doesn’t he know about give and take? “And it appears your boss is set to make a statement at the gala.”
“What do you mean?” This statement sets off alarm bells—probably what he intended.
“Didn’t you hear? She’s taking Eric Young. It’s going to be their official coming out party as a couple. Not that I’m into local gossip or anything, but apparently it’s a big deal because he hasn’t dated since his fiancée died.” The waitress arrives and I sit back in stunned silence. Will places the order for the two of us without even consulting me, but I don’t even hear him. I’m too upset over the bomb he just dropped. Lauren has been secretly dating Eric? How could I have been so blind?
“Yeah, I found out you had something to do with getting Eric to sponsor the film festival, so when I talked to Lauren about coordinating the event coverage, she informed me that she had you to thank for bringing Eric into the limelight again.” He smiles at me as he unwraps his straw, but there’s something more behind it. And I’m suddenly transported back to the incident with Jeremy.
“Oh, it was nothing. It was all Lauren. She’s something, isn’t she?” Trying not to give anything away, I gently prod him for more information. I can’t show what I’m feeling inside or it’s all over. He’ll pounce all over any sign of weakness and I refuse to repeat the same mistakes I’ve made in the past.
“Yeah, the best. Listen, are you going to the gala with anyone? It might be to our mutual advantage if we go together.” A smile plays at the corner of his lips when he sees my breath catch. He’s well aware of the effect he has on me.
“And why is that?” Tell me, Will. Why am I suddenly so irresistible?
“Some of the assistants from the studios will be there. None of the higher-ups, of course. It’ll mostly be the gatekeepers. But they’re all digging the local connection, and while it’s been a couple of years since I’ve been home, you are sort of an aficionado of the area’s cultural scene, working for the
Gazette
and all. We can help each other out. What do you say?” So I’m to be the pawn in his game of climbing the Hollywood ranks? Too bad it seems to be at my expense. What do I get out of it? Having the honor of finally being called his date? How can a girl refuse?
“Hmm, Will. I don’t know.” A spark of disbelief flits across his face before it disappears. If he’s going to use me, he’s going to have to work for it. I’m sick of being such a pushover.
“Ivy, c’mon. It’ll be fun. I’ll even buy you a new dress if you want.” Wow, this must be important to him if he’s willing to spend money on me. It sounds like the stakes are pretty high when it comes to his career advancement. A lot must be riding on this film festival.
“Well, if you put it that way. How can I say no?” I shrug my shoulders in the adorable way only a girl can and a smile lights up his entire face. He’s such a heartthrob. If only he had the heart to go with it.
“Ivy, you’re the best.” Catching me off guard, he runs a hand through my hair before pulling me forward as he presses his lips against mine. I’ve dreamed of this moment for so long and it has finally arrived. He’s kissing me, full out kissing me, in public. His tongue dances in my mouth, and I’m not going to lie, it feels incredible. He’s not just a good kisser. He’s a great kisser. I could go on like this for days, but he draws away and relishes taking in my flushed cheeks, swollen lips, and tousled hair.
Trying to regain my composure, I breathe deeply and concentrate on looking out the window and not at the people whispering all around me. And that’s when I see him standing across the street, wearing the saddest expression I’ve ever seen. It’s Eric. He saw Will kiss me. We make eye contact, and although we’re only looking at each other through the glass, he seems to be silently asking, “Why him?”
Will catches sight of Eric too and he drapes his arm across my shoulders like he’s claiming his territory. It’s a possessive move that makes me uncomfortable, but I don’t know why. Isn’t this what I’ve always wanted? Will showing the world that I’m his? That I finally measure up to his standards? Then why do I feel like the loser in this whole scenario as I watch Eric walk away?
