Take Me Now (15 page)
“Son, aren’t you going to invite me in? I’m getting soaked standing out here.” He looks mildly perturbed as the wind sends the rain sideways against the house.
“I won’t be more than two minutes.” I try to stand my ground, but Shep is pushing the door open with his head, anxious for the treats he’s being denied.
“Don’t be silly. I can wait in the kitchen.” He steps into the foyer and I realize I’m fighting a losing battle. He already knows Ivy’s here. He grunts when he sees what I’m wearing. “Rough night?”
“You could say that.” I try to be as evasive as I can.
“Those bruises don’t look too good.” A worried frown crosses his face.
“They don’t feel too good either.” I don’t hear any dishes rattling. What is Ivy doing in there?
“Hi, Frank. Good to see you again.” It’s Ivy, descending the stairs…and she’s wearing one of Cassidy’s outfits. I do a double take when I realize what she’s done, the line that she’s crossed.
“You too, Ivy.” I think my dad understands what’s going on when he sees me tense up.
“Well, it looks like I’m the only one who’s none too pleased.” I can’t control my anger. “Ivy, I want you out of my house.”
“Eric, what’s wrong?” At first, I think he’s kidding, but when he doesn’t smile I start to get nervous.
“C’mon, son. She didn’t know. Give her a break.” Eric’s dad is trying to placate his son but I have no idea why.
“It doesn’t matter. She shouldn’t be poking around where she doesn’t belong. She has no right.” The rage in his tone is palpable, and it slams against my heart. But he’s finally given me a clue as to why he’s so angry.
“I went looking for something to wear. I found these in a drawer in one of the spare rooms. I hope it’s all right.” My explanation only appears to be making him even more upset. His eyes rake over the white shorts that I’m wearing, lingering on the pale pink t-shirt with a scattered rosebud print. I never thought he was capable of looking at me like that, with such ferocity. I grip the banister as I inadvertently start to tremble under his reproachful gaze.
“It’s not all right. It’s anything but all right.” He storms by me up the stairs, bumping my arm as he passes. “Dad, drive her home.”
“But what about your doctor’s appointment?” I blurt out even though he’s not talking to me.
“Take her home!” he bellows from the top of the steps before slamming the door to his bedroom.
“Come with me, Ivy. It’s best not to bother him when he gets like this.” Eric’s dad waves me forward and I automatically follow his lead. My brain has shut off as I furiously try to blink away the tears that are threatening to fall.
We get in his car and don’t say anything to each other for a while. Eric’s dad seems as lost in his thoughts as I am in mine. I don’t really feel much like talking especially after I’ve been slobbering into my sleeve since we left the house. I’m exhausted, stressed out, and on information overload. I couldn’t help breaking down in front of his dad. My emotions refused to be contained.
As we reach the outskirts of town, I get control of myself and take a deep breath to regain my composure. I’m completely in the dark about what happened back there. I need answers, and Eric’s dad is going to give them to me.
“Why did he react like that?” I sound hoarse and brittle but I somehow manage to croak out my question.
“It’s because you’re wearing Cassidy’s clothes.” His response ricochets around my heart. “He didn’t save many of her things, but I remember that’s the shirt Eric bought her for her seventeenth birthday. It was the first gift he ever gave her after they went to the prom together. She wore it all the time and he held on to it. I guess it had some kind of sentimental value to the two of them.”
“I had an inkling they might be hers, but I didn’t think he’d get so…” I shake my head, trying to remove the image of Eric screaming at me.
“Possessive? Yeah, there’s a lot of things my son still has to work through. Lately, he’s been putting up a good front that everything’s okay, but deep down he’s still hurting. He’s just getting better at hiding it.” Eric’s dad takes his eyes off the road, giving me a meaningful look. “Has he shown you the nursery before or did you just wander in there on your own?”
“That room was going to be the nursery?” I swallow hard, realizing for the first time the magnitude of my mistake.
“Yeah, I haven’t even been inside it before. He keeps it pretty private, like it’s his sanctuary or something.” He scratches his beard as if he can’t quite comprehend his son’s motivations. “I’m afraid it’s more like a tomb. You didn’t see a crib in there by any chance, did you?”
“No,” I respond as my mind tries to grasp that revelation.
“Good, then it’s not as bad as I feared. He must have gotten rid of the baby stuff or at least put it away.” He brakes at the light and examines me more closely. “Don’t let what I’ve told you scare you off. He’s come a long way, but he’s not there yet.”
“But he seemed so mad, like he wanted to kill me or something. We were fine up until that point, and then he just like snapped and became someone I didn’t even recognize.” I search his face for answers but he lowers his head. It’s like he doesn’t know what to say, and that frightens me more than anything.
“Give him some time to cool off. He’ll come around. Yesterday was the anniversary of their deaths. That might have been what set him off. He’s a little raw right now.” The light changes, and Eric’s dad once again focuses his attention on the road. Shit, I didn’t even know. I was so caught up in all this drama with Lauren that I didn’t even stop and think about what he might be dealing with. I never felt all that comfortable talking to him about Cassidy, but at least I should’ve asked when she died. Talk about being majorly inconsiderate.
“Do I turn here?” Eric’s dad points up ahead and I nod. We’re already back on campus, but I don’t want to let him go. I want to keep talking, but he has to get Eric to the doctor sometime today. I can’t put my neediness above Eric’s physical well-being. I’m not that selfish—at least I hope I’m not.
“Take a left at the fork and I’m the second building on the right.” We make our way slowly past the science building and the library toward my dorm. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to call it home, but for now it’s all I’ve got.
“Give it a day or two,” he advises as he slips the car into park. “Eric will come around.”
“I hope you’re right, Frank. Thanks for the lift.” I unfasten my seatbelt and pull myself out. There’s a sense of finality to this exchange that’s really creeping me out. But it’s not like I’m never going to see him again, right?
“Oh, and Ivy?” he calls to me out the window.
“Yeah?” I stop and turn around.
“I’d return those clothes you have on. It’ll go a long way in making things right between the two of you.” He gives me a wink before driving away.
So his father thinks Eric wants to move forward with me but that I should give him some time and let him cling to remnants from his past. But where do I fit in this equation? Things seemed so simple when I woke up this morning in Eric’s arms. Now they couldn’t be more complicated.
***
“Seriously? I still can’t believe he kicked you out of his house! What an asshole!” It’s no surprise that Sophie’s amazement is mirroring the incessant chatter of my overactive brain. That’s what friends are for.
We’re lounging in her dorm room, eating ice cream after she drove me to the garage to pick up my newly repaired car. Our next stop was the cell phone store in the mall where I transferred my number to a new model. The first call I made was to my advisor requesting a meeting to discuss my few remaining options. I didn’t reach out to Eric yet.
“Yeah, well. He did.” I place another giant spoonful of chocolate chip cookie dough in my mouth and close my eyes. If only I could float away on this calorie-inducing wave.
“I think you’re going to need something a hell of a lot stronger than ice cream to get your mind off of this.” She jumps up and starts rummaging through her closet. “That’s it. No more moping around, drowning your sorrows in fatty, sugary goodness. We’re going out.”
“Out where?” I groan, sinking back into her beanbag chair, which feels even more comfortable at the moment. Why would I ever want to get up?
“We’ll head over to Gilligan’s since we can walk there and back. I don’t feel like being the designated driver tonight. I want to have some fun too.” Without any warning, she whips off her top and begins changing right in front of me.
“Jeez, Sophie,” I exclaim, trying to block my eyes.
“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” she retorts, sticking her tongue out at me over her shoulder.
“What am I going to wear?” I moan, not feeling the least bit into it.
“Wear what you have on. You’re going to drink your sorrows away, not pick up hot guys, right?” She hustles over to the mirror and starts applying a bright shade of gloss. She presses her lips together with a resounding smack.
I’m still wearing Cassidy’s clothes. I haven’t had the heart to take them off yet. It’s a dumb move and it’s not going to do anything to improve my mood every time I happen to catch a glimpse of my reflection. I’m about as messed up as Eric with my fascination with this dead woman’s wardrobe.
“Let’s skedaddle! We might hit the end of happy hour if we hurry.” Sophie ushers me out the door and I follow like a zombie without even bothering to check if I look halfway decent. I already know I don’t.
After a long, sweaty walk under the remaining rays of the late day sun, we trudge into Gilligan’s and claim the last two stools at the bar. Sophie buys the first round, and I down my bottle of Bud Light before she’s even halfway through hers.
“Want another?” she asks without the slightest bit of judgment.
“Something stronger. Maybe a shot?” I’m getting bolder with my selection. I want the pain to fade away. I don’t want to feel it anymore.
“We’ll do one together.” Sophie gives me an encouraging smile before flagging down the bartender.
We clink shot glasses and I tilt my head back with a flourish. The alcohol slides down easily without even a burn. I have no idea what the drink is called. I wasn’t paying attention, but it sure tasted good.
Three beers and two shots later, I’m flying high. I thought the booze might deepen my depression, but instead it’s lifting the haze surrounding my heart. It’s loud and crowded as people are standing six or seven deep, trying to reach the bar. We get to keep our seats as long as we keep ordering drinks and tipping the bartender. He knows we’re here for the night. We’re not going anywhere. He lifts a glass to a guy standing behind me whose arm gets jostled as he goes to reach for it, spilling half of its contents down my shirt. I look down. It wasn’t just any drink. It was red wine. The stain is never going to come out.
“I’m so sorry,” the guy starts yelling loudly in my face over the music and the people talking around us. The bartender hands him a pile of napkins and he tries to wipe me off, awkwardly dabbing at my chest.
“That’s all right. I’ve got it,” I manage to get out, even though my words slur together. I don’t want some random guy feeling me up. Maybe he tries this all the time in bars, but he’s not trying it with me. I have a bigger problem on my hands and I have to tell Eric. I’m going to need his help.
“Excuse me. Coming through.” I elbow my way through the crowd to the door.
“Ivy, where are you going?” Sophie screeches from the bar as someone promptly takes my vacated seat.
I hold up my hand, making the universal symbol for phone call, and stumble through the door as someone opens it from the outside. The couple walking in looks at me with disgust when they see how intoxicated I am, but I don’t care. I have to call Eric. It’s important.
The worker at the cell phone store was able to upload my contacts. And thank God, because I would never have been able to remember Eric’s number in my current state. Staggering on my feet, I drunk dial his number and hold on to a telephone pole for support. It rings once before he answers.
“Ivy? I’m so…”
“Eric, my man. How are you? You’re never going to guess what I did. Don’t be mad, okay? Promise you’re not going to yell at me again.”
“Ivy, what’s the matter with you?”
“Nothing’s the matter, silly. I’m just having a good time after you kicked me out of your house. But I’m okay. I’m fine with it now. But oh I do love your house…it’s so nice…it even has a nursery and I didn’t even know.”
“Ivy, don’t…”
“But I’m not the one giving you babies. No, that was Cassidy. She’s the one you really wanted before you got stuck with me. I can’t even wear her clothes right. You know what, Eric? Some jerk spilled wine all over me and I don’t know how I’m going to get it out of this shirt. That’s why I was calling you to help me. Maybe we can fix it together since it’s obviously so important to you. More important than my feelings at least.”
“I can’t believe you…”
“Yeah, I can’t believe me either. I really trust the wrong guys with my heart, don’t I? I’m just an idiot all the way around. But you already figured that out. I mean, you slept with me then threw me out. Well, you know what? Screw you! I’m keeping the shirt. It’s mine now and there’s no way in hell you’re getting it back. It’s time for you to move on, Eric. Stop living in the past. Stop being such a loser.”
The line goes dead and I realize he’s hung up on me.
“That’s right. You’re a LOSER!” I scream into the receiver, regardless if he can hear me or not.
The people that are in line to enter into the bar start yelling at me to shut up. I give them the finger and point myself in the general direction of the dorm. I’m going back. I’ve had enough. The sidewalks are uneven and I nearly trip and fall a couple of times before I finally go down, skinning my knees in the process. I collapse on the ground and gaze up at the sky, laughing the entire time.
“Ivy, there you are!” It’s Sophie, walking just as bad as I was a second ago. But she’s determined to remain upright as she totters toward me. Reaching my side, she gets to her knees, pushing my hair out of my face. “We have to get you home. You are freaking loaded.”
“So are you, bitch.” But I mean it as a term of endearment as I continue to laugh.
“It’s so not funny. There are cops patrolling around here. If they catch us, we’re going to be in big time trouble.” She yanks on my arm, encouraging me to stand. But I just want to stay here and look at the pretty stars. They’re so twinkly, so sparkly.
“C’mon, leave me alone. Can’t I have some peace and quiet after breaking up with my boyfriend of like five minutes?” I giggle uncontrollably at how silly that sounds.
“What? You didn’t call him, did you?” Sophie’s stronger than she looks as pulls me into a sitting position.
“Of course I called him. Why the hell wouldn’t I call him? I had to tell him I ruined his damn shirt!” I scream the last three words at the top of my lungs while removing the offending garment from my body and throwing it in the street.
“Ivy!” Sophie reprimands me, slapping me hard across the face. “This is serious.”
“Jeez, what did you do that for?” I watch as Sophie scampers into the street to retrieve the shirt, dodging traffic in the process. She roughly slides my head through the opening as I struggle with the arms.
