Take Me Home Tonight (17 page)

“I love you, bro. I love Mom,” Gus said. “But whatever we're doing here? It isn't working. And I'm gonna fuckin' blow my brains out if I don't start doin' something that matters to me.” He gave Mimi an apologetic look. She rubbed his arm, gave it a squeeze, and then he was gone.

With an uncomfortable sense of foreboding, Calix shut down the stereo. Arms wrapped around him from behind. And just that simple gesture made him want to lean into her, share some of this terrible weight he carried. Because he was torn.

His brother was wrong. It
was
working. Their mom was alive, wasn't she? Every night he found her working in the studio was a victory.

But Gus was also indisputably right. Because in three years nothing had changed. She still avoided family time. Still slept in the guest bedroom.

So what the hell was he supposed to do?

Mimi's scent floated around him, and it made him want to lose himself in her.

“Calix,” she whispered.

That voice . . . Jesus, he wanted nothing more than to turn in her arms, strip off her clothes, and fuck her until they both collasped.

And as long as he was being honest, no one else would do.

“I was wrong.” She tightened her hold. “You don't skim at all. You go deeper than anyone I know.”

She was treading on dangerous ground. He tried to pry her arms off him, but she wouldn't let go.

“You're so deep into your family, there's nothing left to give. Not to your friends, or women, or even to music.”

“Nothing else matters.”

“Yeah, it does. You don't see it because you're so consumed with blaming yourself. But you have to know shutting down your lives isn't helping your mom. It's not giving her a reason to live. How
could
it?” She pulled back—not letting him go, but shifting to face him—and cupped his jaw. “Calix, please listen to me. It's not your fault.”

She didn't get it. “We've already talked about this. I don't blame myself.”

She tapped his temple. “In here you don't.” Then, she patted his heart. “But in here you do. Look, I can only tell you what I see. And I see a man who's doing penance for destroying his family. You think it's on you to single-handedly keep everyone together because you took your eyes
off Hopper. But it's not working, because there
is no
penance to do
. He didn't die because you were talking to a record company executive. He didn't die because you brought your parents to that music festival. He died because bad things happen.”

He turned away from her. “Yeah, I got that. We all get that.”

But she grabbed him back. “No, you don't. Because if you did, you'd be living. You're stuck in that one moment you can't take back.”

“You don't know what you're talking about. If we all go back to our lives, then what's my mom's reason to get out of bed?”

“No offense, but you're not the reason she gets out of bed. She can barely stand to be around any of you. And not because she doesn't love you, but because she's in pain. She wants to crawl into a cool, dark cave and just grieve.”

Yes
. The truth in her words stripped him raw. Sleeping in the guest bedroom was his mom's cave. How had he never seen it like that before?

“But she can't. Not while you're constantly coaxing her out.”

“If you think I can walk away . . . I'm telling you right now you can forget it. If anything happened, I couldn't live with myself.”

She took a deep breath, gave him a serious look. “Hopper would hate the silence in this house. He'd hate the way everyone stopped living. Do right by your brother and live your life. If you believe in heaven or an afterlife or any kind of enduring soul, live the life that would bring that beautiful smile to his face.”

She started out the door, and damn it all to hell but he could not let her go.

Swinging around, he lunged to catch up with her and caught her arm. “Why won't you just mind your own damn business?”

“I don't know.” Her tone sounded pleading. “I know I should, but it hurts me to see you like this.” She took in a shaky breath, the tips of her fingers touching her mouth.

“Goddamn that mouth.” No matter how hard he tried to keep his distance, this woman had gotten in. In a way no one else ever had. He hauled her against him and kissed her.

And fuck, did he need her. That mouth, so warm, so soft, Jesus, he wanted to sink inside her and never come out. She tasted like vanilla, and she smelled like elegance. He had to have more. Had to. His hands slid down her back, curving over her ass and squeezing. She gasped as his cock pressed into her stomach.

But he couldn't stop. He needed more, so he lifted her and pressed her back against the wall. Her legs wrapped around his hips, and she ground against him. Mimi Romano. Fuck him, she made him wild.

Desire spiked so hard and fast, he got swept under. Their hips rocked in a rhythm that worked him into a frenzy of need. And that lush mouth, so soft and warm and wet, turned his bones to liquid.

When he thrust up high and hard, striking right at her core, she pulled her mouth off his. “Okay, okay.” She struggled to get out of his hold. “Stop. Calix, God. We have to stop doing this.”

Stop? Yeah, he'd tried that. But he couldn't. He just couldn't get enough of her. “Date me.”

“What?”

“Date me.”

“You don't date.”

“I want to date
you
.” He pressed another hot kiss on her mouth. “I need more.”

She gazed up at him with a wary expression, but his resolve never wavered. Her hands slid into his hair, cupping the sides of his head. “Yes.”

Every time Mimi remembered the kiss, a zing shot through her. God, he was so intense. He kissed her like he couldn't get close enough, deep enough. And she loved it.

As she walked along the side of the road, careful to mind the ruts in the grass, she kept thinking about what he'd said.
I need more
. He had no idea how happy that had made her.

She just didn't know what this date meant to him. Nothing between them had been casual—each kiss had ripped her wide open, each conversation had been deep and rich and real. But what if a date just meant sex?

Would
she have sex with him? Knowing he didn't want a relationship, knowing he had nothing to give beyond one single hookup—or even a couple hookups—would she be okay with that? She'd have to look at it as fulfilling a fantasy.

Yeah, no, that wouldn't work for her. Sex to grow closer . . . definitely. But Calix didn't want to explore feelings. Sex was a distraction for him. She didn't want to be someone's distraction.

A truck roared past, music blaring, girls laughing, and she moved farther onto the grass. She loved her walk to work. In
this second week of May, the air had grown warmer, which meant more people were out jogging and riding bikes.

In Eden's Landing the pier and the small town around it were the hub of the neighborhood, so all traffic tended to move in that direction. A very cool coffeehouse, an old school grocer, an artist's co-op, and an appliance repair shop made up the bulk of businesses on Main Street. In warmer weather, local vendors sold their wares on the pier.

What would a date with Calix look like? An uneasy feeling snaked through her when she imagined hanging out with his friends at the beach. That wasn't really her idea of fun—drinking, getting high, hooking up. But then he wouldn't enjoy her idea of fun, now would he?

Only, what was her idea of fun these days? Her days of clubbing and dining out had ended months ago. And funny thing, she hadn't missed them at all. She loved living out here with the band. They hung out, jammed, had dinners on the beach. They liked each other and didn't need much more than their instruments to have fun.

Imagine if Calix joined Blue Fire. Him, his dad, Gus—if both worlds merged. That would be awesome.

As she headed up Slater and Emmie's driveway, she wondered about the trucks parked in front of the house. A bunch of people jammed on aluminum lawn chairs outside the open garage.

She saw Gus among them and waved. He handed his guitar off to the woman next to him and headed toward her with a huge grin. “Hey, Meems.”

“You guys are back at work?” she asked.

“Just for a few days.”

“Who're those people?”

“My dad thought it'd be cool to add a tumbao drum pattern to a couple of the songs, so they're trying it out.”

“Tumbao?”

“It's an Afro-Cuban drumset groove.”

“How fun is that?”

“Very. Actually, it was Calix's idea. He suggested my dad step in for a few days, record some tracks. See if he fits with the band.”

“That's a great idea.” Damn, Calix kept surprising her. “Well, you have fun. I'll see you at lunch.”

She loved that Calix sincerely wanted what was best for his family. He didn't have some hidden agenda, wasn't some kind of control freak. His sole focus was on healing his family, and he'd do whatever it took.

As she climbed the steps to the back door, she felt a pinch in her heart. She was in trouble. She was falling for him—hard—but all those qualities she loved about him? They were reserved for his family. She got to witness all that intense loyalty and devotion, his kindness and generosity—his deep, powerful love—but she didn't think he'd ever shine it on her. Yeah, he couldn't keep his hands off her when they were in the same room, but the moment he got away from her, he cooled. He had time to remember what mattered to him.

Would she ever matter to him? She hadn't even turned on her phone this morning for fear she'd find a text telling her about some plans he'd “forgotten about,” blowing off their date.

She opened the back door, kicked off her flats, and tossed her jacket on the table. The kitchen smelled . . . well, like a flower shop. She stepped into it and
Oh, my God
, there were flowers everywhere.

Maybe Emmie and Slater had announced their pregnancy. Slater was such a sweetheart to do this for her. God, he loved his woman.

She needed to get cooking, but she didn't want to disturb the flowers. What if Emmie hadn't seen them yet? She pulled out her phone to take a picture.
Holy cow, look at this.
It was fantastic. Wildflowers in all kinds of blues, purples, and pinks were scattered on counters, on the island, all over the kitchen table. It was gorgeous—and the display was incredibly artistic. Slater had obviously taken time to arrange them just so.

Setting her phone on the bay window behind the sink, Mimi turned her thoughts to the day's agenda. Since she had another lesson with Calix that afternoon, she thought she'd make a boeuf bourguignon in the slow cooker. She hoped they had a nice Bordeaux around.

As she plugged in the Crock-Pot, she noticed a vase with
a spray of fragrant beach roses. A white card propped up against it.

Mimi

Wait a minute. Someone had done this for
her
? Before opening it, she held it to her chest, taking in the flowers covering every surface. She dared to hope . . . Calix? She unfolded the card.

When I wake up I'm wondering when I'll see you

When I'm working I picture your smile

When I'm with you I can feel my heart beating

And before I fall asleep I wish like hell I hadn't skimmed over you

I don't want to skim. Not with you.

I want more.

Will you give me more?

Mimi closed her eyes, letting the words sink in. She got swept back into the hunger of his kiss and the urgency of his hands pulling her closer.

Now that she knew him—that he was locked down, heart, mind, and soul, from that one single moment when Hopper wandered away from him backstage at the concert—this date—this gesture—meant everything to her.

As hard as it was for him, he was opening, letting her in. And she wanted to honor that. To be so good for him.

Yanking open the desk drawer, she pulled out a pen, tore a yellow Post-it off the stack, and wrote,

Yes, yes, yes!

Could he do it, though? Stick with her and not shut down? Because she'd give him everything she had—she just didn't know how much he could give in return.

Time spent with her tripped his anxiety. Made him feel like he was taking his attention off his family—leaving his mom vulnerable.

As much as she wanted to throw herself in, she had to hold back. Because Calix Bourbon—he was a risk to her heart. A big one.

But
come on
. He was a risk she had to take.

*   *   *

Mimi
wound up getting to the Bourbon house early so she and Lee could brainstorm ideas for the wedding. All she'd had to do was mention the event for Lee to jump right in and offer to help. Which was a big relief, given the short time frame.

Laptop open on the table, they sat side by side searching for menus.

“Okay, magical food to go with magical decor.” Lee typed the words.

“Really? We're putting
magical food
into a search engine?” When Lee shot her a look, Mimi said, “What do you think is going to come up, exactly?”

“Well, see right here.” Lee tapped the screen. “Anchovies, artichoke, asparagus—all these ingredients draw on magical elements to make your wishes come true.”

“Uh, yeah, Lee. Look a little closer. Those ingredients draw lust.” That was something she most definitely didn't need to know how to draw—she had loads of it. No, she needed to find actual menus. She was doing double-duty here. Planning the menu all while learning as much as she could for the competition.

“Exactly. And lust is totally magical.”

“At a wedding reception? Wouldn't that be called an orgy?”

“Oh, look, bananas draw sex.”

“Really?” Mimi reached for the fruit basket. She pulled a banana off the bunch and peeled it, taking a huge bite. She chomped loudly, openmouthed, and moaning. “Oh, mm, yes, yes, yes!” She slapped her palm on the table.

“See? It works.” Lee laughed, grabbed it from her. “Told ya. Let's eat everything on the list so we can get lucky tonight.”

Actually, she might be getting lucky anyway. But she wouldn't tell Lee about her date. Not yet anyway.

“Okay.” She dragged the computer toward her. “I think we're done with magical foods.”

Lee stabbed a finger at the screen. “Wait. Look, whipped cream is joy and celebration. We're totally serving pears and bananas with whipped cream. It's like Utopia in a bowl.”

“Give me the computer. You've lost any tech cred you might have had.” Mimi typed in
wedding reception menus
.

Lee made a snoring sound. “There's nothing magical about a garden salad and chicken marsala. Bo-ring.”

“We can take a basic dish and turn it into something amazing. Besides, Violet's not talking about the menu. She wants the décor to be magical.”

The creak of a door let her know Jo was back from her walk.

“Okay, forget menus for the moment.” Lee pushed the laptop aside. “Let's start with the basics. Do you want a sit-down meal?”

“That seems too fussy, don't you think?”

“Not if we put Hobbit ears on the waitstaff.”

“Oh, my God, you think maybe you're taking this whole magical idea too far?”

“It's literally the only thing you gave me to work with.” Lee bumped shoulders with her. “You're doing Italian desserts, why not just do Italian food? Make it the theme.”

“Okay,” Mimi said in a fake happy voice. “And everyone will wear togas and gladiator sandals.”

Lee pinched her. “You don't have to be a brat. It's a wedding. Shouldn't weddings have themes? Color schemes?”

“That's horseshit.” Jo stood behind them.

“Say what you really think, Mom.” Lee sat back in her chair.

“Just because you're doing Italian desserts doesn't mean you have to serve Italian food. What do they like? The bride and groom?”

“The only information we have from Mimi is that the bride wants a magical wedding.”

Jo headed for the refrigerator. “Well, that narrows the field.”

“If we show you some menus, will you give us suggestions?” Lee asked.

“No.” She sounded bored, yet she grabbed her yogurt and came right back to them.

“Come on, Mom. You're good at this stuff.”

“I've never planned a wedding in my life. Your dad and I eloped.” She grabbed a spoon out of the silverware drawer. “You don't need to look at menus. Keep it simple. Good, clean food.”

“Like what?” Lee asked.

Jo sighed, like she was put out, but she dragged a chair closer. Mimi and Lee scooted over, making room for her. Once seated, Jo angled the computer in her direction. “You got pictures of them?”

“The bride and groom? Yep.” As Mimi logged into her Facebook account, the front door banged shut. Boots pounded on the hardwood floor.

“Ma?” Calix called.

A wave of excitement rolled through her, but Mimi stayed focused on her laptop.

“Kitchen,” Jo said.

Keeping her cool, Mimi pulled up pictures of the band at a picnic dinner last September. Jo leaned closer as Mimi clicked through them. “Anything else?” Jo asked.

“Yeah, sure.” Mimi opened an album from last Christmas when Derek had proposed to Violet. The band had gathered around to sing her a song. It was the most romantic proposal Mimi had ever seen.

Calix came into the kitchen. “Hey, Ma.” He squeezed her shoulder. When his gaze landed on Mimi, heat unfurled from her core, spreading in a slow climb up her chest.

That big, dark-eyed man leaned forward, right across his mom, and brushed a soft kiss on Mimi's cheek. Holy hell. Mimi thought she'd go up in flames.

Lee's eyebrows lifted practically to her hairline, and she pushed the half-eaten banana toward Mimi, who laughed,
shaking her head. But her cheeks still felt heated. She couldn't believe Calix would show her affection in front of his family.

Her heart fluttered wildly. More than anything, she wanted this kind of intimacy with him. To be
his
.

But did he want that?

He'd made it clear he
didn't
. So what was he doing?

Hang on
. Just because she went all in didn't mean everyone did. She had to give him a chance. Reaching into the back pocket of her jeans, she pulled out the note she'd written him.

“Ready for your cooking lesson?” he asked.

“In a minute,” Jo said. “She's working on a menu for the wedding.”

“Did they set a date yet?” he asked.

“May twenty-second.”

“That's in two weeks,” Jo said. “Is that enough time to get everything done?”

“We're going to keep it simple,” Mimi said. “Violet doesn't want a big production.”

“No, she only wants magic.” Lee gave Mimi a teasing look.

Calix stared into the refrigerator. While he looked like he was deciding what he wanted, she suspected his attention was trained on his mom and her interest in the conversation.

“Then we'll have to keep the ceremony short and sweet.”

Mimi cut a glance to Calix at his mom's use of the word
we
. He turned at the exact same moment. A hint of a smile on his beautiful mouth made her soar.

She wanted so much more than sex with him. She wanted love.

Her skin tightened at the thought of Calix letting her in all the way. Pouring all that devotion and loyalty on her. That love. She wanted that so much.