Take Me Home Tonight (14 page)

“I've wanted plenty of women enough.”

“To bang them, sure. But not enough that you
have
to be with them. And that's what I want. A man who
has
to be with me. Anything less is just a waste of my time.”

He sauntered back toward her, looking super pleased with himself. “Sounds like you're holding out for a lot of things.”

“What does that mean?”

“You graduated, when? A year ago? And you're still waiting for your dad to hire you. You don't have sex because you're waiting for some guy to fall madly in love with you. Maybe all this talk about skimming has more to do with you than me. Maybe you wish you could go deep, but you can't because you're too scared to go after what you really want.”

“What I
really
want is to work for my dad. And if you're trying to talk me into hooking up, you can forget it.” She was done talking to him. “In any event, I'm sure you've got a list of go-to girls on your phone right now, so start dialing-for-a-bang. Or go to the beach. Yeah, that's it. Hook up with one of the girls you've grown up with.” She looked him in the eye. “We're done here.”

*   *   *

Mimi
pulled the tray of cinnamon buns from the oven, closing her eyes to breathe in the delicious smell. Since Dak had been fired last night, the guys could sleep in. She'd just leave coffee brewing and the buns out for whenever they got up.

After the way Calix had treated her in the kitchen—like some nymph he could bang at a party—she'd considered bailing on today's cooking lesson. But she needed his help to win this competition, and she wasn't about to let their issues get in her way.

Just . . . no more kissing. It wasn't like it was all
his
fault. She'd gotten just as caught up in their kisses as he had. It just meant something different to her.

Before she headed over for her lesson, though, she'd watch a few episodes of
Chopped
. Maybe talk to her mom about ideas for Violet's wedding. Hard to do that when Australia was fourteen hours ahead of the East Coast, but she'd catch her before she went to bed.

The grumble of an engine cut through the early morning stillness. With the guys sleeping in and no deliveries expected, she had no idea who'd stop by. She peered out the window to see Calix jumping out of a truck and leaping up the stairs.

He punched the screen door open, took a quick sweep of the room. “Gus here?”

“Haven't seen him.”

“Fuck.” He spun around, trampled down the stairs, and struck off toward the beach. His powerful thighs pumped hard in his worn jeans.

Worried, she ran out the door and took off after him. Racing down the dirt path, she caught up with him just as he headed toward the tent.

“What's going on?”

He pulled up the edge and ducked under it. She followed him in, the heat and fishy scent oppressive. After a quick scan of the place, he turned back around, brushing right past her. “Gus didn't come home last night.”

Oh, for crying out loud.
“He's twenty-three.”

Ignoring her, he strode to the shoreline, long hair flaring out on a breeze. His jeans hugged the hard curves of his ass as he worked his way across the sand.

Again, she traipsed after him. “It can't be all that surprising that a twenty-three-year-old guy wouldn't come home.”

Standing on the hard-packed sand, he gazed first in one direction, then the other. Seriously, strip off his dark gray T-shirt, throw a loincloth around his hips, and he could be a warrior leading the charge of a marauding army.

“Fourteen hours.” He leveled her with a hard look. “That's how long we had to wait to find out about Hopper. Fourteen
hours not having a clue where he was, who he was with, or whether he was breathing. You got any idea the kinds of scenarios we cooked up in all that time? So, yeah, Gus can do whatever
the fuck
he wants. But he's gotta let his mom know so she doesn't go through the same shit she went through three years ago.”

Oh, God
. “Jo was up all night?” She guessed they'd all been up—looking for Gus, sure, but mostly for Jo. Okay, she'd get right on it. Turning, she headed back to the house. “I'm sure you've checked all the usual places and friends, so I'll wake up the guys and ask them.”

“Good idea.”

Together, they headed back up the path. When they hit the grass, Mimi said, “When was the last time you saw him?”

“At a table with some of the Amoeba guys. That was about ten, before I left.”

“Did you try to get a hold of them? Maybe Emmie can make some calls.”

“Already talked to her. She said the Amoeba guys left together. Their drivers came around midnight.”

“You know, he could've crashed at a friend's house. It could be that simple.”

“I called his friends. He wasn't with them last night.”

“Okay, but that doesn't mean he didn't crash at
someone's
house. A friend of a friend. I'm just saying he's probably all right and doing what any other person our age would do.”

“Mimi. You don't know. You just . . . don't understand.”

“I'm an only child, so if you mean I don't understand losing a sibling, then you're right. I don't. But that doesn't mean I can't understand your worries.”

“Worries? You think I'm
worried
? I worry about my mom not getting enough sleep. I worry about her not eating enough. This situation? What we're dealing with right now?” He gripped the back of his neck, rubbed it harshly.

She touched his arm, pulled him back. “What is it? Tell me.”

The tortured look in his eyes gutted her.

“What? Just say it. There's obviously more going on here than I understand.”

“She tried to kill herself, okay? My mom . . . this isn't just about Gus. It's about . . .”

Shock ripped through her. “Are you . . .
last night
?”

“No, about four months after Hopper died.”

Oh, God, this poor family. What they'd gone through. She thought of that house, the photographs, the memories that moved like shadows in every room. And in the short time she'd been around Jo, she'd seen it. A woman who had to fight to stay present, to stay engaged.

Mimi had felt the woman slipping away, retreating into herself, while her family kept trying to draw her out.

And yet . . . she hadn't gotten the sense that Jo was suicidal. More that she couldn't bear the pressure of everyone's expectations for her.

But her perceptions didn't matter. Only Calix's did. And he lived every moment worrying he'd get the call that his mom had . . .
Oh, God
.

“I found her. I was heading out of town with my band, and I just . . . I wanted to see her before I left. My mom told us she needed time alone to grieve, so we'd all gone back to our lives, but I worried about her. I couldn't help . . .” But he shook his head, as though cutting off that train of thought. “I came into the house . . . it was so quiet. And I found her in bed. She'd taken a bottle of pills. I can't . . .” He swallowed, took a breath. “I can't let it happen again.”

“No, of course not. But we'll find him. You know we will.”

“I've looked everywhere. I've been up and down the beach a dozen times. Every place he might've gone. I've talked to everyone he knows.”

And then she remembered the persistent nymph. “Do you know where Laney lives?”

“Why the hell would I know that?”

“Well, if you've had sex with her, you might know.”

“
What?
Are you fucking kidding me? Jesus Christ, I am not talking about this right now.” He stalked off toward the truck.

“She's slept with everyone else.” She picked up her pace across the grass.

“He wouldn't . . .”

But, of course, Gus would. “Let me get my phone. I'll find out where she lives.”

“We sent her home last night.”

“Yeah, she totally seemed the type to respect our boundaries. Look, you said you talked to everyone he knows, and you've been every place he would go. I don't think we should rule out Laney.”

As soon as they got to the house, she ran inside to grab her phone. She could feel his anxiety as he waited for her call to connect.

Coop's call went straight to voice mail. She got luckier with Ben.

“'Lo.” He sounded exhausted.

“Hey, Ben. Mimi. When was the last time you saw Gus?”

“Gus?”

“Yeah, Calix's brother. The gofer.”

“What?”

“Ben. Wake up. This is important.”

“Right. Yeah. Um, Gus. I don't know. Wasn't paying attention.”

“Do you have Laney's phone number?”

“Blocked her.”

“Ben, listen to me. I need to find her. Do you know where she lives?”

He was quiet for a moment, but then gave a reluctant, “Yeah.”

She gave Calix a thumbs-up. “Text me the address, okay?”

“Don't know the address.” He cleared his throat. “You know that general store on Manhasset Road in Orient?”

“No. Hang on.” She lowered the phone. “You know the general store on Manhasset Road in Orient?”

Calix nodded.

“Yeah, we do.”

“Okay, well, her mom runs it. They live in the rooms at the back. If you go along the left side of the building, through the bushes, that's her bedroom. Last window. She leaves it unlocked.”

“Great, thanks. By the way, I made cinnamon rolls for you guys. Coffee's brewing. So, whenever you want it, it's here.”

“Fuck, Meems. How'm I gonna get back to sleep now?”

“Gotta run.” In her leggings and ballet flats, she had nowhere to stow her phone, but before she could give it another thought, Calix took it from her and slid it in his back pocket. “Let's go.”

*   *   *

Situated
at the very tip of the North Fork, Orient Point wasn't far from Eden's Landing. Mimi watched out the window as Calix drove in silence.

She loved the early morning light out here. It softened the scrubby fields, turned ponds into watercolors, and colored the sand peach.

He cleared his throat. “I'm sorry for last night.”

She shot him a look.

“Shouldn't have kissed you.”

“I guess this means I should cancel the order for our promise rings?”

She thought she saw a hint of a smile curl his mouth, but it died quickly. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel.

She turned her attention back out the window. On this lazy Sunday morning in early May, an elderly man ambled down the driveway toward his newspaper, and a trio of cyclists sped by, their forearms resting on the handlebars.

He let out a breath. “I know you're a big deal. Don't want you to think otherwise.”

“Can I ask you something?”

He shrugged.

“Would you have followed through? If I'd let you, would you have had sex with me right there on the kitchen counter?”

Tugging on his chin scruff, he said, “Probably not.”

“Then why did you treat me like that? Like there was something wrong with me for not being into hookups?”

He stuttered out a laugh. “I don't know. Because I can't keep my hands off you.”

Something hot flashed through her, and the part of her that entertained naughty thoughts about him said,
Then don't
. But nothing could come of it, so she let it go. “Okay, well, no harm.”

“I respect the hell out of you.” He let out a breath. “I'm sorry I made you feel I didn't.”

This sweet side of him made her keenly aware of his potential. One day he'd make an awesome boyfriend. “Actually, last night was a good wake-up call for me.” She looked down at her hands. The way to really be over him was to say it out loud. “To be honest, I've fantasized about you for a while now. You're really hot and . . . I don't know, you seem like the kind of guy to just take what he wants from a girl in bed.”

He shot her a heated, almost feral look.
He likes that.

But she was over him, so she wasn't about to fan that flame. “And onstage? It's incredibly sexy to watch you get lost in the music. Plus, watching the guys interact with you, that's hot, too.”

“How do they interact with me?”

“They respect you. They respect your talent. And that's hot.”

“So, just to be clear, what you're saying is, I'm hot?”

She laughed. “I guess if you boil it all down, then, yes, I think you're pretty damn hot. And that's led to some wicked fantasies. But now that I've gotten to know you, I won't be doing that anymore.”

“Uh, thanks?”

She could see how that might've sounded offensive. “No, I just mean we're really different. We want different things. You know, reality kills fantasies.”

“No, I don't know. But you might want to stop right there.”

“Oh, come on, you know exactly what I mean. You see some super-hot girl in a club, and you imagine all the things you want to do to her—or in my case the things I wanted you to do to me—”

“What did you want me to do to you?”

With a smile, she gently swatted his arm. “No, seriously, but then you get to know her and she's dumb or she's, I don't know, materialistic or whatever, and you stop seeing her as the hot girl. Once she opens her mouth, you can't fantasize about her anymore.”

“What did you want me to do to you?”

She shook her head. “Stop. We're not going there. I'm saying that I see you as a man now, not some fantasy. Last night our differences became really clear. Like the fact that you don't date. That separates us right there.”

“I've got some fantasies of my own.”

“You do? About me?”

“No, about a super-hot woman I saw in a club. Yes, of course, you.”