Take a Breath (Take 1) (6 page)

   “What’s that?”  

 
   I wiggle my nose on his chest snuggling into him as much
as I can.  I want to savour this moment as much as possible. 
“You Jake, you’re my favourite thing.”

Chapter 7

I
wake up with my head banging unable to remember how I got to bed. 
I look towards the window and curse then sun for shining so brightly
through my window.  I glance at the clock on my bedside and notice
a glass of water and a note propped up against it.  ‘Drink me,’ it
read.  I looked down and saw a couple of tablets sitting by the
glass of water and another note underneath it saying ‘Swallow
me.’  I smile despite myself as I wonder how wonderful it would be
to swallow him up in every which way.  I look down at myself as I
wonder whether I’m wearing a blue and white dress just like Alice did
in Wonderland.  Had I ventured into the land of fairy tales since
last night?  I take the tablets and down them with the whole glass
of water in one go.  It’s midmorning already.  I haul myself
up to head towards the shower hoping that this would make my head a
little better.

With
the shower fixed it was working better than ever.  I stayed there
for a while enjoying the spray until the throbbing in my head died down
a bit.  I threw on a beach dress as I felt like lounging around
today and headed toward the stairs.  When I got nearer to the
kitchen the smell of bacon hits me.  Suddenly both my head and my
stomach started to grumble in the anticipation of the great greasy
hangover cure.  I swing open the door and Jake is greeting me with
another tight T-shirt and a pair of knee length shorts that are just
placed perfectly on his hips.  

   “Good morning Ana, how are you feeling today?”  

 
 “Not too bad, thanks for the tablets and water.  Alice is
feeling much better now.”  He starts laughing as he sets out a
plate of bacon and scrambled eggs in front of me.  “Thanks Jake,
you didn’t need to do this for me.”  We both sit down and his face
turns a little sad.  

 
 “I feel kind of bad in a way for last night.  I didn’t mean
for you to get like that.  I’m sorry.”  

 
 “Jake, you can’t apologise for last night, it was a game and it
was fun.  I enjoyed it despite the fact you were a tad annoying,
but with all that said I had a great time.  You didn’t force those
shots down my throat.  If I really didn’t want them, I wouldn’t
have drunk them.  Remember also that I willingly took a sixth one
from you?”  His lips curve up into a smile and I have this sudden
jolt of memory about me telling him how much I wanted to kiss
them?  Or was it that they were kissable?  I can’t
remember.  All I do remember is that something was said.  I
wonder if it was a dream.  I dream about Jake a lot and often wake
up horny as hell and having to relieve myself.  No, it wasn’t a
dream was it?  I actually did say that to him.  Shit, what
now?  I look on in horror realising just how much of an almighty
cock up I must have made.  My face begins to flush and sudden
nausea erupts in my stomach.  

   “Ana, are you alright, you don’t look very good?”  

 
  Before I can answer I throw my fork down and rush to the toilet
just managing to reach it in time to hurl the contents of my stomach
back up again.  Jake is quickly by my side helping to pull my hair
back so I can be sick.  He gently rubs my back and hands me some
tissue.  

 
 “I’m so sorry,” he says to me again.  “I did this to
you.  I want to take care of you today so I don’t feel so damn
guilty.”  

 
  Thinking I’ve been sick as much as I can, I wipe my mouth and
flush the toilet.  “Would you stop blaming yourself for what I
did?  I had fun, it’s ok.  No need to take care of me. 
You’re off the hook.”  I raise a smile for him which he
returns.  

   “Well, let’s put it this way, it would help me feel better to know I’m taking care of you.”  

 
  The embarrassment of knowing what I said to him again last night
rears its ugly head again.  How could I have been so stupid? 
I feel the only way forward is to try and make light of the
situation.   “So I have to humour you now just so that you
will feel less guilty about last night?”  He nods his head. 
“So you’re doing this only for your own selfish reasons?”  

 
  He looks on and frowns, “Well, it sounds horrible when you put
it like that but yes, I guess I am selfish then.”  

    We head back to the kitchen and sit back on the breakfast table.  

   “I understand if you don’t want to eat that now.”  

 
  I stare on at him lingering on those eyes and lips of his. 
I can’t believe that anyone could be this sexy.  He should be
illegal.  “I’m fine now that I got that out of my system.  I
think it will do me good to get this inside me.”  I don’t have the
heart to tell him I only puked because of how embarrassed I am at what
I possibly said or did.  I start to wonder if there is anything
else I could have said to make this hell even worse than what it
is.  Maybe I don’t want to know.  I take a few bites easing
myself in gently and waiting to see if my stomach protests.  I’m
glad to feel its satisfied so I carry on.  His eggs are so nice,
and now he does good bacon too.  He’s beautiful, powerful, funny,
kind, he’s sex on legs and now he can cook.  Is there anything
more to add to his many talents?  I finish up my breakfast and
Jake clears the table for me.  I get up to do the dishes and he
promptly tells me to sit back down.  I do as I’m told staring at
him for a while whilst his back is turned to me and my mind is full of
what on earth happened last night.  I flash of him lying in bed
with me comes back.  Shit, did that really happen?  He
obviously didn’t stay as he was gone this morning.  Curiosity
seems to get to the better of me as there is only one person who can
answer that in a hurry.  “I didn’t do anything silly last night
did I?”  He briefly stops washing the dishes and turns to
me.  

   “No, of course not, in fact I would go as far as saying you were kind of sweet, and funny.”   

 
  He turns his attention back to the dishes and quickly he’s all
washed up.  Sweet, when have I ever been sweet?  I suppose I
should be thankful because at least he didn’t say I was a complete
numpty.  I try to put this out of my mind as it would only drive
me crazy.  I can’t help thinking that I said something I shouldn’t
have, apart from the kissable lips comment of course.

The
rest of the day was as much fun as it was yesterday and I thoroughly
enjoyed Jake’s company.  We watched movies together; we laughed
and poked light hearted fun at each other.  This weekend would
definitely go down in history as being one of my favourite weekends of
all time and unfortunately I haven’t had many of them.  That’s
another favourite to add to Jake’s game now.  There were a couple
of moments when he tickled me after I poked fun at him and I thought he
was going to kiss me again, but again I was bitterly
disappointed.  I don’t know why he’s pushing this.  Things
just seemed to get worse when Matthew arrived.  All of a sudden
Jake was putting his walls back up again.  I don’t know why he
does it.  Maybe he’s embarrassed to be seen having fun with me in
front of Matthew, I don’t know.  I tried to not let it get to me
and instead just went with the flow.  I spent the rest of the
evening talking and having a laugh with Matthew.

Chapter 8

The
next few days go by in a haze.  Nothing much has happened apart
from the night I went out with Jessie and wore those red shoes. 
Jake saw me and the reaction it provoked had my head spinning for the
rest of the night.  He was not happy about me wearing them, but he
gave me the number for a reputable taxi firm and asked me to promise
him I would use it on the way home.  He also asked me to promise
him to call if I needed him.  The look he gave me was one of such
desperation; I had no choice but to tell him that I would of course
honour his wishes.  I thought it was kind of sweet of him anyway
to care so much.  Once I got home a little tipsy, Jake was still
up and he looked as though he’d been pacing the floor.  He
certainly wasn’t someone who looked to be close to going to bed at
after midnight.  I couldn’t believe he had actually waited up for
me.  He immediately came over to me and asked if I was ok and I
told him yes.  He took care of me again taking me to my bed and
making sure I had plenty of water to drink before I got up the next
morning. 

Jessie
had a few dates with Jerry and they were all successful, so much so she
is still seeing him, which I think, is a record for Jessie.  Jake
has been doing his best again to avoid me and the killer is still on
the loose, but all has gone quiet.  No more murders since the
apparent ghastly one last time that everyone felt uncomfortable talking
to me about.  I decided that it was time I took some time off
also, so booked the Friday off before the barbeque, same as Jake. 
There appears to be quite a few going now and I’m starting to look
forward to it in a way.  Today is Thursday and I am feeling good
that a welcome rest is upon me.  I clean up my desk at the end of
the day and say my farewells to everyone.  Jessie is still sitting
at her desk but it looks as if she is heading out shortly
herself.  “Do you want a lift back Jessie?”  

    She spins round, “It’s ok thanks, I have my car.”  

    I frown at her, “I wish you were coming on Saturday.”  

 
  She pouts, “Me too, I really do not want to be going to this
wedding on Saturday but Jerry’s coming with me so should be ok. 
I’m just dreading him seeing me in my bridesmaids dress.  You
should see it Ana, I look like a lemon.”  

 
  I let out a giggle, “I’m sure you look fantastic in it
Jessie.  So Jerry’s coming eh?  Sounds like it’s
serious.”  

 
  Jessie sighs, “I really like him Ana.  Despite all the
joking and everything, he’s a nice guy and the sex is phew.” 

 
  She waves her hand in front of her face like it’s burning up in
here.  “Ok, now I’m off.”  She laughs and turns to get her
bag.  “I’m glad you’ve found someone who can make you happy
Jessie.  You deserve it.”  Jessie swings round and gets up
out of her seat.  

   “Ana, don’t make me cry you’ll smudge my makeup.”  

    I put my arm around her, bringing her in for a hug.  “See you soon and enjoy your weekend.”  

    She pats my back, “You too Ana.”  We say our goodbyes and I head out to my Honda.

I
get back to the house and its all dark.  I switch the alarm off
quickly realising I’m the only person in the house.  I switch all
the lights on and put my bag on the counter.  I dig around the
fridge and cupboards for something to eat and later settle on some
leftover chicken and some savoury flavoured rice mixed with
vegetables.  I boil the rice up and pick some bits of chicken off
into a bowl ready to mix.  I stir the rice and look in the fridge
for some wine.  I find an unopened bottle of Pinot Grigio and pour
myself a glass.  I settle down on my own and start eating. 
It’s 6:45pm and I’m eating on my own.  I think Jake is not due in
until 7:30pm and I assume Matthew is out with his friends.  I
finish my glass of wine and pour another.  I’m feeling full and
there is still a lot of chicken and rice left so I put some aside for
Jake to eat just in case he wants it when he returns.  I take my
glass and head for the sofa.  I remember I have to check the mail
so I wander outside to the mailbox and see a few items hidden in
there.  I head back flicking through all the letters, most of them
are for Jake of course, but I spot one with familiar handwriting on and
stop in my tracks.  It’s my mother’s writing, I would recognise it
from anywhere.  It’s very bold and big and she curves her A’s in a
certain way.  I put the rest of the mail on the side and sit on
the sofa to open the letter. 

Dear Ana,

I’m
sorry I left without a goodbye but I needed to get away.  You’re
old enough to look after yourself and I’m sure you would have preferred
to stay where you are now.  You’re settled with a good job and
have your whole life ahead of you.  I, as always get itchy feet
and need to keep moving.  Please tell Jake that I am sorry for
everything and that I didn’t mean to hurt him.  I think it was for
the best anyway.

Take care sweet Ana and I’ll be in touch soon.

Love Mum. xx

I’m snapped from the letter with the sound of Jake coming through the door.  

   “Hey Ana.”  

 
  I don’t look round.  “Hi Jake, I left some rice and chicken
on the side for you to eat.”  I hear him walk past. 

   “Thanks, I’m really hungry.”  

 
  He disappears into the kitchen for a while and I sit on the sofa
with my head buried in my hands and the letter in my clutches.  I
can’t believe my mother has done it, again.  She’s just taken off
without a goodbye, without anything and then three weeks later she
decides to send me this crap.  How could she do this to Jake and
Matthew, how could she do this to her own daughter?  After a few
minutes I feel a dip in the sofa realising Jake is now sitting next to
me.