Swingin' in the Rain (16 page)

  My Bluetooth sang out, “Jakes!” My heart skipped a beat.

  “How’s your head?” I asked. I really wanted to ask if his foul mood had lightened up but I thought I’d hold off.

  “Fine. How’s yours?”

  “Fine.” There was just a moment of awkward silence. What, us?

  “We were lucky we ran into a fan,” Jakes said. “Otherwise those two might have actually done their jobs and found my gun. Then I would have had a lot of explaining to do.”

  “I’m sorry I got you into this mess, Jakes,” I said.

  “You haven’t gotten me into any mess, Alex,” he said. “It’s your ex-husband’s fault for getting himself murdered. Knowing how much you want to get answers for Sarah I can’t very well just sit by and do nothing.”

  “Maybe,” I said, “but I don’t expect you to risk your job for me—“

  “Let’s forget that for now,” he said. “I told you, Rockland has made this very personal for me.”

  “I’m pulling up at Sarah’s school. Call me later?”

   “You do that while I go and try to get a few questions answered.

  “Like how Rockland knew I went to the club?”

  “Yes, and who made the call about somebody breaking into Randy’s house.”

  ”How can you find that out if you’re on leave?”

  ”I still have friends there, who owe me favors,” he said, “I’ll call you later when I know something.”

   “Call me even if you don’t know anything.” There was another awkward pause.

  “Alex?”

  “Yes?” I found myself holding my breath.

   “I can’t have a cruiser out front anymore, but I think if somebody was trying to kill you they had a chance to get it done today.”

  “So you don’t think I’m in danger?”

  “Maybe not of getting killed,” he said, “but I don’t even want you to get another knock on the head, so I’m going to see if I can get a friend of mine to keep an eye on you. Remember Harry Slattery? He’ll do it.”

  “How without Rockland knowing?”

  “Screw Rockland.” he said. “But don’t worry about it. You won’t even see him. I’ll call you.”

  He hung up.

  And he hadn’t said “I love you”.

  After Sarah and I got back home, I waited for her to get in the house before I pulled out the box of toys from Randy’s. I still hadn’t told her about her father’s death and didn’t want any difficult questions. Like, why do we have her things from Daddy’?, why haven’t I seen Dad lately? I put the box in the hall closet and went to fix Sarah a snack.

  I was making peanut butter crackers as I went through the day in my head. I kind of felt the same way Jakes did. If the man at Randy’s house had wanted to kill us, he would have. Tampering with my brakes could have killed both George and me, but maybe it was just done it scare us. Killing us—or me—did not seem to be anybody’s priority, yet.

  And thinking about Mulholland made me remember the cowboy boots. The man who had approached me after our brakes failed and we crashed, had worn them! So had the man at Randy’s! And the guy on the road had said, “It could have been worse.” Suddenly, those words sounded very menacing.

  I grabbed my cell phone and a jacket and went outside, out of Sarah’s earshot. The rain had stopped so I sat down in a lawn chair on the dock and called Jakes.

  “You called me on your cell, where are you?” he asked before I could say anything.

  “I’m outside. I didn’t want Sarah to hear.”

  “Oh. Okay. What’s up?”

  I really didn’t like his tone and almost told him to screw himself, but thought better of it. I told him what I had remembered.

  “That links the car together with whoever hit us, don’t you think?” I asked.

  “If your memory is right, I’d say so.”

  “There was no break-in at Randy’s, right?”

  “Right,” he said.

  “So did we leave the front door open? Is that how they got in,” he said.

  “No way. I made sure to lock it behind us when we were inside.”

  “Somebody must have had a key.”

  “Somebody who was involved with Randy,” I agreed.

  “Okay,” he said, “let me do some research into this guy with the turquoise-tipped cowboy boots. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Wait a minute! Don’t hang up. What is going on with you? Why won’t you talk to me?”

  He was quiet for a second.

  “I guess I don’t know what to say right now. I just...” pausing he added, “let me call you right back.” “Wait!” But he had hung up. I just glared at my cell. Then my phone rang. My house phone. I ran inside and it was Jakes.

  “Why are you calling me on this phone. What is happening?”

  “I’m sorry to do this, Alex. I just need some time. I think we need a break.”

  “What? You want a break? Why?”

  “I know it sounds stupid. I feel like my life is at a standstill. Maybe it’s a mid-life thing.”

  “So go get a Porsche. I’ll loan you mine! A standstill? How do you figure? You’ve got a great job. Well, I mean you will again. And you’ve got me. You know.”

  “I’ll talk to you about it soon.”

  “Jakes wait. This feels so sudden. What happened?”

  He was quiet until I heard a long sigh. “I feel like life is passing me by. It sounds silly even saying it.”

  “What? How could...”

  “I promise we’ll talk. Just not right now. Its been a long day. You did good, Alex. Why don’t you get some rest and we’ll talk tomorrow. Good-night.”

  And he hung up.

  Without saying I love you. Again.

  “Love you, too, Jakes.”

  After I hung up I started furiously making more peanut butter crackers until I realized I’d made about 40. I put one in my mouth and wiped away a tear. Pretty soon I was really crying and Saltine cracker crumbs were spewing from my mouth.

  “Mommy? What’s wrong?”

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  “What’s wrong, Mom?” Sarah had wrapped her arms around me. She looked up and she had tears in her eyes.

  “Nothing, Honey.” That was stupid. Anyone would know something was wrong here. “Well, actually Jakes and I had a little fight. That’s all. It’ll be okay.”

  “Are you guys gonna break up, too?” Oh, God!

  I sat her down on the sofa. “I don’t think so, Sarah. I really don’t.” What if we did? I took a breath. “But even if we did you know you and I will always be alright, right? You’re my happiness and my number one girl. You know that, right?”

  “Yeah. But, Mom? I really like Jakes.”

  “I do too! And honey he loves us. Don’t you worry about Mommy and Jakes.” I gave her an extra big hug. “Now it’s just us girls tonight. What do you want to do after dinner? Manicures and facials? Oh, I know. Draw Grandma a picture, maybe?”

  “I already drew her one last week.”

  “Okaaay.” I thought about it for a second. We needed a distraction. “What about a movie night? We haven’t had one in a long time!”

  “Hooray! Let’s watch a movie! With popcorn, and hot chocolate, too?”

  “Yeah, why not? Go in your room and get started on your homework. I’ll come and help you in a few minutes.” I gave her a hug and swatted her on the fanny. She ran out of the room.

  I looked out at the canal. The rain was still falling, the ducks were still gliding across the water. Life goes on and I wasn’t about to let my love life screw up my daughter’s life, again. I wiped away my tears (and a few crumbs), got up and started dinner.

  It was dark out. I went around the house and made sure all the windows and doors were tightly locked. I looked out the front window and noticed a Toyota parked across from the house. That must be Harry. He was wearing a hat so I couldn’t see his face clearly. He saw me and waved. I waved back. Harry is an old friend of Jakes that had left the department a long time ago. I had to admit I did feel better having someone watching over us.

  “What movie do you want to see, Mommy?” Sarah had her jams on and had piled her favorite blankets on the floor of the living room.

  I turned away from the window and crossed to the sofa.

  “I don’t care. It’s your call, Sweetie.”

  “I’ve already seen all our movies, Mom, about a hundred times.”

  “Is there anything on TV? Anything we TIVO’d?”

  She pushed the “list” button on the remote.  “No. Just a bunch of SpongeBob episodes and Hannah Montanas.”          

  “Look in your cupboard one more time.” She ran back to her room to give it another try. Then I remembered the DVD’s I had gotten from Randy’s! I went to the closet, pulled out the box and found “Tangled,” “Shrek Forever” and “How to Train Your Dragon.”

  “Surprise!” I yelled when Sarah came back into the room empty-handed.

  “Oh, awesome Mom! Where did you get those? Daddy has them at his house, too.”

  “Really, Honey?” I didn’t want to lie to her and wondered if I should just bite the bullet and tell her about her father.

  She beat me to it.

  “How come Dad hasn’t called me? He said he was taking me to the Santa Monica Pier soon.”

  “Sarah, come sit next to me.” She walked over and we sat on the sofa. I put my arm around her and held her close for a minute. Then I pulled away from her and looked her in the eyes. “Honey, I have something sad to tell you.”

  “What is it? Did Dad leave again, Mommy?”

  “No, no. Well no, not like before, Sweetheart.” I was really struggling. “You know Dad had his problems, right? He left us a long time ago. But he never ever
ever
stopped loving you. In fact, I know for sure he loves you more than anything else in the whole world.” Sarah was looking at me with such an earnest expression I started to tear up.

  “What’s wrong, Mommy?”

  “Oh Honey, what happened is ...Daddy’s in heaven. He had an accident and was hurt. The doctor couldn’t help him and he went to heaven.”

  “He died?” I nodded and pulled her closer. I could tell she was trying hard to process this huge information. “Did it hurt?”

  “I don’t think he was in pain, Honey. No.”

  She had a thoughtful look on her face. “So he’s with Grandpop?”

  “Yeah! Your Dad is with my Dad.” 

  She hugged me tightly and started to cry.

  “I’ll miss him, Mommy. I liked having Dad back.”

“I know, Honey. I’m so sorry. He’s still around you, you know? He’s your own very own guardian Angel. Just like I talk to my Dad sometimes? You can still talk to your Dad, too. Now you’ve got two angels watching over you and keeping you safe.”

  She wiped her eyes. “Yeah, Mom. And now Grandpop has someone to keep him company.”

  “That’s right, he does.” We sat like that for awhile, not speaking while I rubbed her back. I guess she was trying to figure out what it all meant. “Do you want to ask me anything or talk about it some more? We don’t have to have a movie night if you don’t feel like it now.”

  “No, Daddy got me those movies. I’d like to watch one.”

       “Which one?”

  “Ummmm. ‘Shrek Forever’.”

  “Okay. Shrek it is.” I started to pull the disc out of the box.

  “I wanna do it, Mommy!”

  “So I gave it to her and she ran over to the DVD player and put it in the disc tray.

  “Nothing’s happening.”

  “Did you push play?”

  “Yeah. What’s wrong with it?”

  I walked over and fiddled with the buttons, took out the disc and reinserted it. Still nothing. I pushed “eject” and pulled out the disc again and looked at it. It didn’t have anything on it. No picture of Shrek, no information about the movie. It was in the Shrek box but it wasn’t the movie.

  “I don’t know, Sweetie. Let’s try another movie.”

  She popped in “How to Train Your Dragon.” Same thing. Nothing. I looked at that disc and it was blank, too. Nothing on it. Strange.

  I opened up the “Tangled” box; there was artwork on that disc. Sure enough, I put it in the player and voila! We were in business.

  “Yay! I wanted to see ‘Tangled’ when it came out, remember, Mom?”

“I do. Come here.” We snuggled into the blankets on the floor and put the bowl of popcorn between us. We were only fifteen minutes into the movie when I looked over at Sarah and realized she was sleeping. I guess sometimes sleep is the best way to deal with something sad. I quietly untangled myself from the blankets, picked her up and put her into her bed.

  I walked back into the living room and started to fold the blankets and put away the popcorn bowl and cocoa mugs. I hoped I’d handled telling Sarah about her Dad in the right way. 

  As I was cleaning up, I found the two discs with nothing on them. Just on a hunch I brought my computer over to the sofa and put in one.

  At first it looked like it was blank. But I left it in for a few seconds and something popped up--just a bunch of symbols and letters in no particular order that went on for pages and pages. I took it out and put the other disc in. Same thing. There was something on the discs but I assumed my computer wasn’t compatible with them. I looked at the other DVD’s I’d taken from Randy’s. I went through “Gnomeo and Juliet”, and tried most of the Disney classics. All the movies played. I held the two mystery discs in my hand, thinking. I needed someone who was computer savvy enough to figure out how to make them play. And she lived right next door. Tonja.