Sweet Haven (The Sweet Series Book 2) (17 page)

Sam

Before I can step into the shower, I turn off the water, thinking I heard a knock on my door. Pulling my robe back on, I walk out of the bathroom. “Jase is that someone at my door?”

“So, it’s fucking true. My sister’s been slumming.”

My feet falter as I make it into the hallway; Sawyer’s voice laced with disdain sends my heart plummeting.

Oh god
.
What’s he doing here?

“You had to know payback was going to happen sooner or later, Evans.”

I flinch; his words are like a hot iron, painfully striking my soul. I can’t find my breath, my knees growing weak.

How could he say that?

I’m knocked out of the painful fog when I see Jase stumble backward, my brother coming at him full force.

“You’re fucking dead, Crawford!”

Jase meets him head-on, both of them crashing to the floor in a fit of rage as they match each other blow for blow.

“Both of you, stop it right now!” I run over to where they grapple in front of my kitchen island, their fists striking out hard and fast. “Please stop!” I scream, a sob tearing from me, terrified they’re going to kill each other.

I look around for something that will help me break them apart and my eyes land on the sprayer attached to the kitchen sink. Reaching over, I turn on the cold tap water then yank the hose out as far as it will go and squeeze the handle.

Cold water rains down on them both.

“What the fuck?” Sawyer bellows.

It gives me the split-second I need. Moving quickly, I grab Sawyer’s shirt and push Jase away at the same time before wedging myself between them, knowing they won’t go through me to get to each other.

“What the hell is the matter with you two?” Angry tears threaten to spill over, but I valiantly hold them in as I stare back and forth between two men I love more than anything in this world. One who just deliberately broke my heart. “Sawyer, go into my room,” I tell him, but my gaze is focused on Jase who has yet to look me in the eye.

“I’m not fucking going anywhere.”

I turn on him, letting him see my pain and anger. “You either go into my room or you leave and never come back.”

We both know I’m serious. I don’t say things unless I mean them. His jaw tenses but he’s smart enough to listen and reluctantly leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.

I refocus my attention back to Jase and watch him wipe blood from his busted lip. “Payback, Jase? Really?” I grind out, my heart cracking as I repeat the hurtful words.

“I didn’t mean it,” he says, his breathing harsh and angry. But he still refuses to look at me, keeping his eyes trained on the floor.

“Then why did you say it?” I snap.

His eyes finally lift to mine, and while I see regret, I also find so much anger. “Because I fucking hate him, and I always will. That’s never going to change, Sam!”

His words rip through my already wounded heart, ending what could have been a beautiful future. It was only minutes ago I had made the decision to stay because I loved him too much to leave, but it doesn’t matter. Not anymore. He will never let go of this vendetta against my brother, someone who has the same blood as me running through his veins.

“I hate you too, asshole!” Sawyer yells from the other end of the door.

Shaking my head, I swallow past my burning throat. “Get out.”

“Sam…” he starts but trails off.

“I said get out!”

His eyes hold mine, pleading yet resolved before he finally moves for the door. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

I look away, unable to watch him walk out of my life forever. The sound of the door closing drives the final nail into my mangled heart. I cover my mouth with both hands, trying to breathe through the excruciating pain in my chest.

I hear the click of my bedroom door and feel my brother’s presence. With a blurry gaze, I look up into his green eyes, the same color as mine, and see so much betrayal in them, adding to all the emotions suffocating me.

“How did you find out?” I ask.

“Anonymous phone call.” His voice is tight, sounding as angry as he looks.

I shake my head, having a pretty damn good idea who it was.

That meddling bitch.

“It’s not what you think.”

“Oh, I think it is,” he says. “My own sister sleeping with the fucking enemy.”

My head snaps back up, fury overriding my pain. “This isn’t about you, Sawyer!”

“How the fuck can you say that? This has everything to do with me.”

“No, it doesn’t. This is about me and my feelings. What I had with him has nothing to do with you!” I scream back but my anger quickly turns to devastation. “I love him, and I thought he loved me.” The sob I’ve been holding in finally breaks free. It tumbles past my lips and is so painful it steals my breath.

Sawyer’s hard expression softens. With a heated curse he moves closer, wrapping me in his protective arms as I sob on his shoulder, tears of pain and agony soaking his shirt.

“Come home, Sam,” he murmurs against the top of my head. “We’ll take care of you.”

Home.

Something I thought I finally found with Jase, but I was wrong. The thought has me crying harder. There’s nothing left for me here.

Not anymore.

Jase

W
ith a black eye and swollen jaw, I sit across from my captain, who still looks as pissed as he did when he sent me home the other night.

“You’re a fucking mess,” he states, as if I didn’t already know this.

My entire world is in fucking shambles. I just lost the only girl I’ll ever love all because I let my anger run my mouth, and now I’m probably going to lose the career I’ve spent my life working for.

He doesn’t elaborate further on my battered face and cuts right to the chase. “What the hell were you thinking disobeying orders the other night?”

“I’m sorry,” I offer the apology but it’s weak.

“Are you?”

Silence hangs heavy in the air, the lie dangling in the back of my throat, but I can’t do it. “No. I’m not. And I’m going to be honest and tell you that I would do it again.”

“The hell you will! You know the rules, Crawford.”

“Fuck the rules!” I snap. “At what cost do we follow those rules, Cap? Don’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing as me. You wouldn’t have left her in that fucking car and we both know it.”

He eases off, resting back into his chair. “Maybe not, but it doesn’t mean it’s the right decision. You put yourself and Hawke in danger when you knew she wasn’t going to make it.”

“Yeah, but at least I did everything I could.” I shake my head, trying to ward off the memories. “I’ll never forget the look on her face. For as long as I live that image will haunt me. If I had left her there then I would have never known and her blood would be on me. I couldn’t live with that, Cap. I’d rather die with her.”

He stares back at me, his expression somber. “Listen, I don’t want anyone dying on my watch either but sometimes, even despite our best efforts, we can’t save them all. You made a reckless decision and not only put yourself at risk but Hawke, too. We want to save lives but not at the cost of our own. You cannot help anyone if you’re dead.”

“You’re right,” I agree, looking at it from his perspective. “Let’s hope that from now on my best will be good enough to keep everyone alive. That is, if you let me keep my job.”

I brace myself, fearing for his answer. Losing this job would be one more blow I couldn’t live with right now.

“Of course I’m going to let you stay. You and those dipshit friends of yours are the best I have,” he says, making me smirk. “But you will follow orders when I give them and you’re taking time off.”

“I don’t need it. I’m good.”

“The hell you are. Don’t start lying to me now, Crawford. You’re a mess and you damn well know it.”

I blow out a heavy breath. “I need to work right now, Cap. I need the distraction.”

“It’s not up for discussion. Take the time and work out whatever you need to with that girl of yours. I don’t want you back here until your head is on straight.”

“I don’t have a girl anymore. That’s why I want to keep working,” I tell him, my teeth grinding at the pain infiltrating my chest.

“Why the hell not?”

I remain silent, not in the mood to talk about it right now…or ever.

“Look, I’m going to tell you something that I wish someone would have told me. But if you breathe a word of it to anyone, I will deny it. Got it?”

I nod, my curiosity piqued.

“I know I always tell you guys to forget about women and get a dog. Now sometimes that is the way to go. But other times…it’s not. Some women are worth the headache, believe me, I know. I had one and I fucked it up,” he says, surprising me. “Now I may not know that girl well—hell, I only met her a couple of times—but everyone knows your arrogant ass won’t ever find better than her.”

That’s because there is no one out there better than her.

“If you let her go, you’ll end up a cynical asshole like me and marry all the wrong ones. Trust me. You don’t want that.”

I let his words sink in, wondering if it’s that easy. I’m worried I fucked up too bad for her to forgive me this time. But I have to at least try, I can’t survive without her and no damn dog will do.

A newfound hope flares inside of me, pushing me to my feet. “Thanks, Cap.”

I extend my hand to him and he returns the gesture with a firm handshake. “You’re welcome. Now get out of here and go grovel your ass off. And take her flowers. It’ll help.”

“Jesus, you sound like my mother.”

He grunts. “Remember, tell anyone and I’ll deny it.”

“Don’t worry. Not a word,” I promise with a smirk.

Leaving his office, I head out of the station when Cam comes running out after me. “Crawford, wait up.”

Shit!

I turn back to him, expecting an earful for avoiding his and everyone else’s calls, something I don’t really have time to listen to right now.

“What the fuck happened? We’ve been trying to call you.”

“I know. I’m sorry. Listen, I’ll explain everything later. I can’t talk right now. I have to see Sam.”

“Well, you better hope she’s still there.”

My swift feet falter. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I saw Evans last night. He said he was taking Sam home with him today.”

Panic strikes me hard and fast, making blood rush in my ears. “What?” I choke out, praying I misheard him.

“That’s why we’ve been trying to call you.”

“When?”

“I don’t know. He just said today, but—”

I don’t waste time to hear the rest and haul ass to my truck at breakneck speed. With a heavy foot, I race to her apartment, arriving in half the time it should have taken me to get here.

My feet pound the pavement, urgency propelling my every step as I run into the building, slipping past a couple as they walk out. I forgo the elevator and run up the stairs, knowing it will be faster.

As soon as I reach her door, I rap on it with a heavy fist. “Sam, baby. It’s me. Open up.”

When I get nothing, I try the handle but find it locked. I’m about to break it down when an elderly neighbor sticks her head out. “Sorry, honey, you missed her. She already left.”

Dread grips my chest, stealing every bit of precious air around me. “How long ago?” I ask, hoping to catch them at the airport, refusing to give up.

She can’t be gone.

“Her and that handsome brother of hers left early this morning. The movers are set to come tomorrow. I promised her I would let them in,” she explains with a smile, having no idea that my entire world just fell out from under me. “You wouldn’t happen to be Jase, would you?”

I nod, unable to find my voice from the grief suffocating me.

“One second. I have something for you,” she says before disappearing back inside.

I stand a little straighter, a renewed hope igniting in my chest.

She returns a moment later with a sealed envelope addressed to me. “She wasn’t sure if you would come by but asked me to give this to you if you did. If you didn’t then I was to mail it to you.”

“Thanks,” I respond, my voice gruff.

Once she retreats back inside, I open the envelope and pull out a folded letter along with a four thousand dollar check.

Jase,

You’ll never know how sorry I am that this is being said in a letter, but I worry if I had faced you I wouldn’t be able to say what needs to be said.

If I’m being honest, the entire time we were together I never really thought of us as temporary and had prayed for a different outcome. The truth is, I fell madly in love with you.

In a perfect world, you and my brother would be able to make amends because you both love me more than you hate each other, but I now realize that will never happen, and I have to accept that. This isn’t about choosing one or the other, I could never do that, but I can’t be with someone who hates the people I love. No matter how deep my love runs for you, that vengeance would have eventually broke my heart.

It already has.

I want you to accept this money. The bidding war between bicycle bitch and me is not your responsibility and it was the best four thousand dollars I ever spent. For the Children’s Miracle Center but, more than anything, for the time it bought me with you.

I will never forget a second of my time with you. I only wish Madam Raman or whom you like to call “Madam Juju” was right and we could have had eternity.

Take care and be safe, especially when you are fighting fires and jumping off mountains.

Love always,

Sam, Sensible Sam, Crazy Sam, Peaches, and…Samantha.

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